That's not pants.

I know, I haven't been very good about posting this month.

But you guys need a break every once in a while, right?

No, I've just been busy.

Like tonight.

Just got back from a wedding.

One of my lifeguards got married... and the other one gets married in November. Though that one is my cousin.

Which leaves me lifeguardless.

So I've had to find a substitute.

But it's not the same.

There will be no more Mama's and the Papa's or How Bizarre singing.

Sad day.


Anyway, so it was kind of a crappy drama-filled week. Two days ago being the worst of it and then yesterday was not such a great day.

Lost it in front of my boss.

Cause I'm weak and pathetic.

Fortunately it was in her office so there weren't others around to see me all weak and pathetic.

Even more weak and pathetic?

That's like the third time that's happened.

So apparently I am a girl. Cause girls are emotional like that.

But we had all these plans and going to a wedding really didn't help things cause I'm just reminded that now that's not gonna happen for like 3 more years until stuff calms down.

And he jokes about it cause you know I gave him 5 years to ask me originally so at the dance tonight he said if I caught the bouquet maybe it would cut a few years off. Meg said if she caught it she'd give it to me. And then when it came time for the garter he was like no, if I have to go up there it'll add years to it.

So we joke and banter but the fact is I do want to get married.

I mean it doesn't have to happen now, that's fine, but I don't want to wait 3 years.

And I know that's not his fault.

Cause he got screwed over, but it sucks cause that shift completely changes everything.

Maybe it'll be okay. Maybe HR will fix it and then this whole drama will be for nothing.

I don't know, I'm not gonna think about it.


Yesterday night was fun, had dinner with his brother and sister-in-law then we watched some old Whose Line is it Anyway - did you know they brought it back?!

Today I slept in, met him for lunch, changed for the wedding - yes, I wore a dress. His only comment was, "that's not pants."

Thanks honey.

Then went out there early. Sat with Obi-Wan and caravan'd to the wedding. Which was good cause I had no idea where we were going. And I was driving Boggs' car so I didn't want to get stranded.

Cause that would have been bad.

Jammed with the camp group, we all sat together and made cheesy comments. It took a while for the bridal party to get there - taken note that if it takes that long before we get there let the guests eat when they arrive - and of course we sat at the wrong end of the room so we had to go last. Ugh.

But it was fun.

Usually I'm out on the floor for every dance but it was nice to kind of sit back and relax for a while.

And that was the joy and excitement of yesterday and today.

Camp meeting tomorrow afternoon to sort t-shirts and do nametags.

Huzzah.

I mean, huzzah!

Cause it'll be our last one before camp.

Finally picked out all my skits and guess what I found online....



And that's only one in a string of compilations.

oh yes.

So now I'll have these along with all of Dad's recordings. Should be set for the 7th and 8th graders for a couple years at least.

Woohoo!

If you weren't aware, I make the 7th and 8th graders sing these for their skit. They sing the verses between all the other grades skits - we alternate girls and boys and then at the very end they scream it at each other.

The parents love me. The kids not so much.

alright, i'm out.

what a bright time, it's the right time

It's interesting how fast days are flying by.

I just want everything to stop, literally just stop and go slower.

Christmas is the best time of the year and it's almost over already!!

Last year didn't feel like Christmas at all cause there was no snow, this year it's mad snowing outside right now. If the temps stay low maybe some of it will still be around next week.

But probably not enough to go sledding.

We'll see.

Though we're rednecks so our version of sledding is hooking up a sled behind a four wheeler.

Or what you would call an ATV.

Then driving it all over the yard, through the fields, over the pond, over buried cars, etc.

Have some interesting memories from sledding. Remember one time Tweet was driving the 4 wheeler and Alex and I were in the sled, he was in the front, we hit a bump, he fell out - somehow over the front - and I ran him over with the sled. My bad. But not like I could do anything about it we were going that fast.

Another time my brother was driving and he used to have this big black lab that was very excited about cars and stuff so he totally took me out on the sled, didn't even see it coming.

Then I ran Megan into a mailbox.

That was legitimately my bad.

The thing about this one was that the rope was really long and you have to remember that when you turn corners. Gotta remember to turn wide or you'll end up running your third cousin straight into the mailbox.

But she survived so we're good.

Megan and I have been through a lot together - "those are gonna be some weirdass dreams" Camp J Highlights - but somehow our adventures are always highly entertaining.

So worked all day today and it flew by. Am shifting the books on CD cause we're out of space and weeding any more of them would be ridiculous. Anyway, BossLady and I are adding shelves so I got to stand in the broken glass while she climbed over stuff to get the nice looking ones from the backroom of the basement.

It's like a graveyard down there, I should have taken a picture. Piles taller than me full of shelves and edges.

"Like graveyard jenga down here."

Why yes, I do still say that in a Scottish accent. Go here or here or here or here or here but mostly here

Wow, have I really abstained from that saying that phrase for over a year?

"Result!"

I realized you have no idea what I'm talking about. You should all go to your local library and request a copy of Bonekickers. It's fantastic. British CSI meets Indiana Jones. It was so cheesy it was awesome. Though the critics didn't think so which is why it only lasted a few episodes.

After doing that for a few hours it was back to the desk, lunch, checking in holds, then more shifting and desk stuff. Tomorrow will most likely be more of the same.

Christmas Music that Doesn't Suck: Day Six

Slight changes to day six, last year I included Glee's mashup of Deck the Halls and Up on the Rooftop and as much as it doesn't suck I can't post it again as it would kill the whole, same songs different artists thing.

On to the music.

Sleigh Ride - Karmin


Last year's was one of my favorite bands - She and Him - but this year I went with a Nebraska girl. More specifically, college town girl. A quite famous one.

Nice to hear the other half of Karmin in this one - aka her fiance.

I like the new one but it's hard to beat Brokenhearted.

It's just too damn catchy.


Jingle Bell Rock - Chord Overstreet


Because who doesn't want to dance with cheerleaders dressed as reindeer to a choreographed song about dancing bells in the middle of a library?

I'm so far behind but Glee-Loving Boss - for the 2 seconds that I saw him when I was at the home branch - said I need to watch the Xmas episode. I don't even know who's in it anymore aside from Blaine cause of the Hopelessly Devoted to You video I ran across earlier. Go here: There's no where to hide since you pushed my love aside


You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch - VersaEmerge (acoustic version)


The girl is pretty good but dude, that guy's got a voice.

Was not expecting that at all. Might have to look into them further.


For last year's day six go here


with arsenic sauce.

Legitimate pre-midnight post. Holy crap tag in use.

and a partridge in a peartree.

Jim O showing his mad tree breaking skills so Jim C. can park his camper properly. It only took then like 10 minutes to realize they needed something tall to stand on or an extended saw. Either way we got the failed efforts on tape.

The ridiculous walk-in freezer. I saw ridiculous because I've never seen anything like it before, especially at Camp J. Plus with Brenda's organization skills it made us seem semi-professional. Which is another thing you don't see often at Camp J. 

But that's cause we're a bunch of goofballs.

Speaking of goofballs, this was the first attempt at fans al-la-carte. Guess how long that strategy worked.









And last but not least was the "gotta take advantage of storage options" theory such as boxes in the shower, open oven space for tiny children, and a microwave to shove your purse into.












Those are only a few, there will be many more after Sunday.


Quote of the day:
Superwoman: You'll only win back Facebook friend status if you have a baby and I can see pictures.
Library Goddess: No! No babies anytime soon!

yeah. cause i don't already have enough stuff coming up.

Been watching a lot of olympics - you should vote in the pole on the right side. I'm hooked and will be sad when they're done though I've DVR'd enough of them to last me a while.

Watched The Closer with mom when I got home and was horribly, horribly depressed. Even though I saw it coming I was still horribly horribly depressed. Even though I knew these last few episodes are going to be tragic. Cause they have to be in order for Fritz to still be in it, but she's gone. Still going with shootout with Stroh and she dies. And then Raydor takes over.

I know I got the second part right. Or at least that's what the commercials are saying. I'm just hoping it won't suck and kill the franchise.

Turned on some old ones. Oh how I miss the moments of comedy. SALSA!

Golf tourney tomorrow, so I should sleep. Long day in our orange shirts, huzzah!
Gotta remember my camera.

And my clubs.

Unlike last time.

Woops.




because sadly it doesn't get old.

i wish it would.

Camp J 2012 Highlights

This year's highlights.
For last year's go here: Camp J 2011

Thursday:

-Hangin’ with the cool kid

:: My fellow lifers couldn’t make it tonight so I jammed with one of their little brothers. He’s a cool kid, pretty funny and really interested in camp stuff. Helped carry mattresses across camp, took pictures of the walk-in freezer, helped with pre-registration stuff. When we get there Thursday night one of the first things we do is make sure every cabin has a fan and do a mattress count to make sure we have space for everyone. He volunteered us to do the girls side. I’d never seen someone so excited to check more cabins and deliver more fans – the boys side only has 4 cabins while the girls has 7. His reason? He’d never seen the inside of the Mary Lee cabin. That’s the giant one way on the far east side. So we did our fan deliveries and mattress counts, then set up some tents for the extra boys. Oh the joys of working with the Jim’s.

-“What is wrong with this picture?”

:: So, usually I’m up until like 2AM writing skits on Thursday night. Camp starts Friday morning and our first session is at like 1PM, but I find my greatest skits are written at 2AM. Apparently that’s when the creative genius kicks in. Anyway, finished them before 10 tonight. It was crazy, all I had left was to print them off. My only freakout moment was when I ran out of black ink, but I found a way around that, the cheater’s way I printed them in color. I’ll get more ink tomorrow morning before the kids get here.

Breakfast at 8, Walmart trip at 9, Counselor meeting at 10:30, Campers arrive at 11:30.

DAY ONE:

-“Buzz the Lightyear”

:: Walmart runs rock. Except of course when you forget the ink cartridges you were going there for in the first place. But that’s cool, I’ll get them later. Not on our list but we bought them anyway were some super sweet flashlights. I’ll get to the headlamps later, but Megan found these sweet Buzz Lightyear and princess flashlights that were also lanterns. Jim O wanted the princess one so Megan took the “Buzz the Lightyear” one.

-“I hear the nerds.”

:: Also not on our Walmart list were the 100 Sci-Fi classic movie collection and massive stock of candies. Nerds being one of them. The quote came after hitting a bump on the ride back.

-“Eh, they signed a waiver.”

:: This was the theme for camp this year. Well, Jim and my theme for camp this year. The actual theme was “The Ultimate Transformer” and as it is a religious camp there was much talk of transformation with Christ. But I quoted our theme probably three times a day, every day - basically whenever there was some sort of emergency, or the possibility of some sort of emergency. I mean, we fixed the problems because we’re good people, but there’s always that joking moment when poles fall off buildings or children come in with bloody noses after getting hit in the face with a ball where you sit back and ask, “they signed a waiver that covered that right?” “yeah, we’re good.”

-Ninja flyswatter

:: We made weapons at camp this year. Again. We being myself and the people keeping me sane aka Katey, Ryan, Jim, Liz, Steve and Pastor. We made a sword and a knife and a cleaver. If it makes you feel any better they were for a skit. Tankety-tank-tank to be exact. I used the skit previously so you could either find it on here now or wait until I post it tomorrow. I wanted to make a lightsaber and throw in a “force-ity force-force” but didn’t have the necessary ingredients to pull it off. The “Ninja Flyswatter” was our original sword, a skewer covered in foil. Turns out the only thing it was good at killing was flies so we gave it to Pastor and a made a new one out of cardboard.

-Purse in the microwave

:: Sleeping in Oldest Sister’s camper was the bomb, for serious. Megan and I joined her instead of sleeping in our usual tent or the un-air-conditioned storm shelter. In a camper you “gotta take advantage of storage options.” As we were plugged in for air conditioning but didn’t plan on doing any cooking that left the oven and microwave available for storage. Megan took advantage and shoved her purse in the microwave. Then took a picture. I have one as well, look for that later in the week. She’s always highly amusing so her camper tour was hilarious. “I already told you I broke it, why are you surprised?”

-“Those are gonna be some weirdass rashes”

:: Flashbacks to the port-a-potty year. Megan and I were explaining to Oldest Sister our exploits from Camp J 2010 – aka the “we pooped in a bucket and you can too” year- one such exploit involved not finding/using the port-a-potties until nightfall when we couldn’t see and of course didn’t have flashlights with us. Darkness in a port-a-potty makes it even more awkward so we made some commentary "not a sink, don't touch that", then realized how close we were to a cabin. “We’re commentating their dreams.” “Those are gonna be some weirdass dreams.” Oldest Sister said if we couldn’t have found the port-a-potties – so if Judy wasn’t there to point her flashlight in their general direction when we asked at like 11PM – we could have squatted by a tree. HOWEVER, there is poison ivy by those trees so instead of “those are gonna be some weirdass dreams” it became “those are gonna be some weirdass rashes.”

-“Night Patrol Anonymous”

:: Megan and I pulled night patrol. Was glad to have someone with me this year. We were pretty stoked cause on the Walmart run this morning we found these sweet Cars headlamps, like they were red and had McQueen on them and you put them on your head and hit the button and they rocked. So we went around at night, turned them off when we got close to the cabins, snuck up to the windows of the cabins still up past lights out, and turned them on right up against the windows. They screamed and we rejoiced. The best part was they were super bright so they couldn’t see who was wearing them. “Who are you guys?” “It’s night patrol anonymous, we don’t have names.” “Aren’t you the lifeguard and that music lady?” “Crap.”

-“They stole my weed, Megan bawls.”

:: More flashbacks, this time to a Delayed…Reaction reference based on yet another experience with Megan and Bethany. Whilst on our way to the tent like 3 years ago Megan almost walked into the weeds that could have led to the “those would have been some weirdass rashes” therein came the phrase “Avoid the weed!” We do a lot of cheering when we bowl at teen camp so when Megan went up I yelled “Avoid the weed!” and she fell and lost it. In the song it became “Avoid the weed! Megan falls.” This year we realized that all of that weed was gone. Camp got a makeover and apparently that was a part of it. So now it’s “They stole my weed! Megan Bawls.”

DAY TWO

-“And you thought your name was bad.”

:: Catalina Madelina definitely earns the weirdest name award. Campfire songs are always fun. Unless they are the sheep song. I don’t want to be a sheep. I don’t want to baa, baa, baa, or baa. I also don’t want to have the song stuck in my head throughout the entire camp experience. It was so bad that Megan and I were like pseudo-napping and we both ended up singing it pre-teen camp instead of sleeping and I kept singing it on and off all the way until now. Not again.

-“No her name was not “Mary Again”

:: When looking for a woman’s name in the bible and you can’t find it Mary is a safe bet. This year instead of tubing we went with more crafts, more swimming, more games and bible trivia. Pastor led the trivia and there was a lot of stuff I had no idea about. Like who Timothy’s mother and grandmother were.

-Get down with the sickness.

:: It was about mid-day when I got word that one of our counselors was feeling sick and was down for the count. Shortly after his teen helper came down with the same one and we were freaked we’d have to send the kids home or quarantine them. Instead our head nurse and her mother sanitized the place top to bottom twice. And it must have worked cause that was all we heard of it. Though they did pilfer one of my teen helpers to cover, blah. 

-“That’s not part of the snack”

:: Every year we feed the kids snacks before bedtime. Pastor announced this after campfire right after he announced that anyone who had medications needed to stop by and get them before bed. Shortly after he included, “that’s not part of the snack.”

DAY THREE

-“And *pbbt* you was gone.”

:: Actually remembered to alternate the skits with the 7^th and 8^th graders singing. Last year I forgot until after like the 5^th grade skit and instead I went with the verses all together instead. Had a lot of great verses this year, though nothing can top this one:

I’ll post this year’s tomorrow.

-With a “wet stone”

:: Yet another never ending stuck in your head song was the ever popular “There’s a Hole in the Bucket”. We told the boys to enjoy it while it lasts cause it’s the only last word they’ll ever get.  Joel – our new guitar guy – threw in the quotations hand gesture while saying “wet stone” cause really, what is a wet stone? Does it have to be wet in order to sharpen things? Totally changes the song, I’m adding the quote gesture to my list of actions. Maybe I should add in “then google it, dear Henry.” as a final verse. I used to finish with “use the other one” but then Kracke came back with “we’re poor, we can’t afford another bucket.”

-“To be fair I did say avoid the parents.”

:: I guess tiny children weren’t included in that statement so when one of the skits involved throwing a bucket of water on one of the campers the majority of it ended up on one of the little kids in the audience. Needless to say she wasn’t happy.

 -“Eat a lotta, eat a lotta, eat a lotta pizza.”

:: Oh the more joys of campfire music. It truly is the joy that never ends. Just keeps on giving. Especially whilst shelving in the jNonfiction section. I sang a lot in that corner. This one was a variation of one we already knew, and for some reason – okay it was my fault – the kids started singing it so they would smile when the parents were taking their group pictures. I’m sure Mom will send me copies within the next few days. Unless she’s already sent them through email.

-“Jo-Pastor!”

:: Gotta remember to watch myself when calling Pastor “Josh” as the kids really don’t. I heard somewhere that if the pastor isn’t yours you can call them by their first name, and since I was used to hearing him being addressed as Josh about 3 years ago I greeted him with “Hey Josh!” to which he replied “Finally! Someone who doesn’t call me Pastor!” So I stuck with Josh. But then of course had to stop myself and call him Pastor in front of the teens.

DAY FOUR

-“Guacamole smash-age”

:: Megan rocked the guac. Smashing it to mush and adding ingredients. I was banished to fly swatting and foil wrapping after I meat-cleaver-chopped one of the watermelons. No faith man, no faith. But I didn’t lose any limbs so he eventually let me help again. Actually learned a lot of new recipes, Mom would be proud. Cobler, cheesy potatoes, rice crispies and all that. 

-“Yay, now I can play Apples to Apples”

:: Noel and the Kansas crew arrived today. We both immediately went “woohoo, someone who understands my references!” She totally would have picked Jesse Jackson for the fake card but instead the award went to Dolly Parton. I guess she could be considered as fake, some of that hair has to be synthetic. 

-“Nope, no cellphone in my pocket this time.”

:: Went down to the pool this year. Told Jim we didn’t swim last year so we had to swim this year. This way we can stick with the every other year tradition. Or start one at least. I got pushed in by some schoolers. As did Katey. We picked up the ringleader and threw her in later. First time it wasn’t Scuba Steve. He did ask if I had a cellphone in my pocket which meant it was soon to come. Wouldn’t be my first cellphone ruined in that pool. Not my fault. GADE man, GADE.

DAY FIVE

-“We gave it the old college try.”

:: Past camp theme songs are good…when you remember the verse melodies. I mean, I did, but I’m used to Liz playing them in a certain rhythm and as she wasn’t there it threw me off a bit. But Kracke was fantastic on the guitar so I was grateful it wasn’t acapella as my voice is shot.

-Cook everyday like the health inspector is coming to visit.

:: I work down the street from HHS so when I saw the lanyard I went, “crap.” First time we’d had one come in and inspect and really the only thing wrong was the cholorine level in the pool. And that’s not us, that’s the manager’s responsibility so she came out and fixed it. Oh, and the gravy. Apparently he needed a wider Tupperware thing so it could cool properly. We avoided a lot because of flail-age. He went to check the pool first so Noel and I jumped up and with Jim threw out and dated all we needed to while Cory was the lookout. Rocked it.

-Impromptu dance party

:: Wasn’t as big as last year, though it was a different atmosphere inside the building instead of outside the old one. Oldest sister and I kept selecting “Tubthumping” but they kept switching it. Sometimes I forget how young they are until something like that happens. Then I feel old. Much like the Apples to Apples thing.

-“Is Yoda the green guy?”

:: Instead of our usual “Cosmo’s War of the Planets” we switched to the Star Wars original trilogy instead. I know, I know, it’s tradition but with the new air conditioned building it wasn’t the first one to be broken. And there were a few who hadn’t seen the originals – sad I know – but now they are cultured. It was sweet, had it on the projector pulled way back so the screen was giant and speakers right next to us so it was the theater. Though I think my favorite part was after Cindy fell asleep on the air mattress next to me - we convinced her to stay - and there was that scene in 6 when they're riding the bikes through the woods. There's this line that's like "Look there's more over there!" She sat straight up, looked around, mumbled something about too many bikes, then went immediately back to sleep. 

-“Even four-year-olds can suck bubbles.­”

:: More nighttime snackage, this one was during intermission. Monday night we watched Star Wars 4, then Tuesday night we watched 5 and 6. Root Beer floats this time - Noel made me one. My cup runneth over with bubbles. I was supposed to suck up the bubbles so we could avoid the mess but my bubble-suckage skills are lacking and I wasn’t fast enough. Apparently even 4 year olds can suck the bubbles so it doesn’t get all over. 20 minutes later it ended all over the floor anyway.  I put it on a bench and then that bench got plowed over cause the bench was dark and so was the room.

DAY SIX

-Rock and Roll McDonalds.

:: Did keep one tradition with our McDonald’s lunch on Wednesday after camp. Usually it’s just Scuba Steve, Jim and myself. This year we added Kracke and Pastor and sat in our usual area. Chicken mcnuggets this year instead of my usual chicken selects. It was good stuff. We attempted to count calories but the results were too depressing.

More will be added as I remember and am reminded.