Do You Wanna Call the Guard - Parody #5

Do You Wanna Call the Guard

To the tune of “Do You Wanna Dance” by the Beach Boys

Written by CK and Sharon

Do you want to scream and call the guard?
Tell me patron is your life scarred?
Oh patron,
Do you want to call the guard?

Do you want to call under the fluorescent light?
Did somebody want to start a fight?
Oh patron,
Do you want to call the guard?

Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?

Do you want to call under the fluorescent light?
Did somebody threaten to bite?
Oh patron,
Do you want to call the guard?

Do you want to call under the fluorescent light?
Did someone squeeze you way too tight?
Oh patron,
Do you want to call the guard?

Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?

Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?

Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?

Original Lyrics

Do you want to dance and hold my hand
Tell me baby I'm your lover man
Oh baby

do you want to dance?

Do you want to dance under the moonlight
Hold me baby all through the night
Oh baby
Do you want to dance?

Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance?

Do you want to dance under the moonlight
Kiss me baby all through the night
Oh baby
Do you want to dance?

Do you want to dance under the moonlight
Squeeze me, squeeze me baby all through the night
Oh baby
Do you want to dance?

Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance?

Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance

Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance

"Have a good weekend. Catch a wave." "I'll try."

Ah, today.

I'm really digging these half days.

Work branch from 9-1, lasagna for lunch - huzzah for Thursday specials across the street - then headed over to the practicum from 2-5.

Work was interesting. Opened first floor, worked more on my booklists. I actually finished the nonfiction banned books one, so now I can work on my Ornery Old Men and Million Dollar Crazy booklists without feeling guilty.

Cause that one had a due date while the others I'm clear until February.

I'm coming up with some interesting characters for both lists, and there's a lot of crossover.

Perhaps I will post them on here.

When they're finished.

Right now I'm having fun coming up with names and then researching why they fit in each booklist.

After that it was back to the desk and then I covered second floor by myself. Which inevitably meant there would be computer issues. But it was fine, our IT was all over it but I had to leave before they resolved the issue.

The afternoon was the real fun. We finally made it through all of our boxes of books and now we went over to the men's building because it has bookshelves in it with books on them. So, we went through and decided what to keep, what to toss, and then stamped the ones we kept.

So we're stamping and chatting and all the sudden Mr. Bossman Tom starts singing Beach Boys.

And I was like, hey! I love the Beach Boys! I grew up listening to their music along with the Beatles, Johnny Cash, Joni Mitchell, etc.

So we keep stamping and he keeps singing and we have these two internet computers and all the sudden he's like, we should test these so he pulls up YouTube and plays this video here:



So for the rest of the afternoon we had this playing in the background as we stamped and sorted.

It was highly entertaining and as I was leaving he told me to "catch a wave" this weekend.

Like I said, Mr. Bossman Tom is awesome.

Practicum Count-Up: 14 hours

After practicum I headed out to see the boyfriend cause he's headed off to South Dakota for the weekend. I basically watched as he packed up his motorcar stuff and then we went out to dinner. But it was good to see him before he left.

Quote of the Day:

Aside from "catch a wave" of course.

We're driving to dinner and there's this big dude walking through the parking lot and the boyfriend is driving and we're waiting on this dude to walk faster - and he doesn't - and I'm like, "don't hit him". He responds "I won't hit him with your car. Bubba would end up in your lap."


After that headed home, wrote up my practicum report for August, submitted it and now I'm out. Early morning tomorrow taking Bubby to school.

But at least I'll have time to stop for coffee. I hope.

everybody's gone surfin', surfin' usa

Got yelled at by an old lady today.

Cause we're closed tomorrow for inservice.

Which is not my fault.

Neither is the fact that her books are still in transit and that all the branches are closed tomorrow so there won't be anyone in to mail them to her.

About inservice, "that's the dumbest thing I've ever hear of."

Guess we'll see if she's right tomorrow.

The boyfriend and I watched the Manchurian Candidate tonight.


Scale of awesome says around 5/10. It was seriously twisted, I was lost for a while but the ending cleared things up. Not what I was expecting at all. Meryl Streep, Denzel Washington, Jon Voigt and my favorite Liev Schreiber.

Theoretically, if you go to the past in the future, then your future lies in the past. This is a picture of you in the future - in the past.

Love it, was just talking about that movie today with Girlscout.

Team Awesome dealt with some major drama today.

But that's why we're Team Awesome cause we have to be awesome to get through it.

Surfin' USA - Beach Boys

interesting to think that these guys were the heartthrobs of that decade.

i enjoy their synchronized swaying during the 1:40's.

seems she forgot all about the library like she told her old man now...

First off let me say I don't know who Rhonda from North Carolina is or if she is, in fact, the skanky whore you claim her to be, but how the heck did you get to my blog by typing that into Google?

It's making me re-evaluate my postings.

Okay, got that off my chest. We're good.

Today I was totally proactive.

I was so proactive I kicked proactive's ass.

Ninja of awesome, I'm telling you.

I'm still just in this sort of giddy shock mode that my ideas are actually being considered for stuff.

Usually when I suggest things they get shot down immediately so it came as a surprise to me today in our "teen experience" meeting (with my newest awesome library friends go here) that the two big ideas that I threw out in front of seasoned veterans actually got approved.

But the problem with having the ideas and them being accepted by your supervisors is that you become in charge of said ideas and have to put them into action. 

Which is fine. 

While I'm used to sitting back and watching the action in front of me, not stepping up when I should because I don't like conflict, I've decided it's time for a change.

I'm being proactive. 

That's what the Library Goddess is always preaching about in classes so I'm taking a stand for my teens cause I think they're important and if I don't stand up for them who else will?

They're my responsibility and I want to make things worth their time. 

Anyway, the meeting this afternoon was about Summer Reading Events, Teen Tech Week, some lunch time school visits, and the fact that chocolate cupcakes are awesome. 

Okay, that was mostly a side note. 

They talked about their ideas for Summer Reading which is when I dropped the bomb about library golf. 

See, I'm thinking this could be epic. Set up a few holes on 4th, hit the ball into the elevator and ride with it down to 2nd, go through the biographies, around the music library, through the nonfiction stacks, passed YA and the language area, down the stairs, through adult fiction and ending in youth services. 

I'll put my TAB kids in charge of the holes - giving them a chance to design and build their own to match with the area it's located in. For instance, while going passed the travel section we could build an Eiffel Tower out of the books to hit it through. 

I'm thinking it will be more like croquet than golf cause we'll be hitting it through something and not into a hole. 

We can add books about oceans for a water hazard and books on the desert for a sand trap. 

Anyway, they loved it. As does BossLady, it's SuperWoman that's still apprehensive but I'm on it. So is one of my supervisors from the meeting too apparently she saw SuperWoman in the parking lot and yelled something about wanting golf at the library before driving away. 

It's on. 

EPIC!

See, I think it could be epic and I think the kids will be excited about constructing the holes. 

But we'd keep it 6th-12th grade for participants as it would be for the Teen Summer Reading program. Anything younger and things could get out of control. 

And we'd use wiffle balls. 

wifell balls? 

wiffell balls? 

wiffel balls? 

No idea how to spell that. I'd Google it but I can't move my arms. Carter is laying on them so all I can reach is the immediate keyboard. Not even the mouse pad. 

HA! 

Snuck my arm out to take the picture but now I can't put it back so I have one arm under him and the other over him. 

This isn't going to work. 

Oh, now he's mad and sulking in the corner of the couch cause I made him move. 

I'll pay for that later. 

Where was I?

Oh, it's apparently spelled "wiffle" which was my first guess but it's still giving me the red lines underneath it which constantly question my sanity. 

Here is someone's interpretation of library golf in case you're interested - though ours will look much different cause my kids are more creative. 

Anyway, so that was one idea for summer reading, another possible is to make masks but I haven't decided on the types yet. Our theme is "Beneath the Surface" though one of my supervisors basically said "screw the theme and go with whatever" which I was glad about cause I had no idea how to tie golf to digging except that golf has holes but we weren't hitting things into holes, anyway, so yes masks and I found these SWEET STORM TROOPER MASKS that you can make our of milkjugs. You gotta check them out, go here 

I have a feeling I'll be buying a lot of empty milkjugs. Too bad I won't have Fearless Leader around to remind me with the *invisible milkjug dance*

The first year she and I were in charge of the Food Drive we did this change collecting thing in milkjugs and she planned to buy the empty ones after work if she didn't forget so I did this weird invisible milkjug dance thing - don't ask me to repeat it I don't remember how it went - and then texted her after work *invisible milkjug dance* *invisible milkjug dance* and it worked cause she remembered them. 

Anyway, the second big idea that they approved was for Teen Tech Week. I was thinking it'd be fun to do like a "check in @ your library" cause ALA is big on anything that includes the phrase "@ your library" in fact I'm pretty sure they have that phrase under copyright but anyway, they'd have a week to go around to all the branches and check in on Facebook/talk to a staff member who puts a temporary note on their record/initials a score sheet (this part is still a work in progress) and then whoever visits them all by the end of the week gets a candy bar. 

Alright, I should crash. On to the music. 

Fun Fun Fun - The Beach Boys

i know that version is awful, but i had to post it just because of the voice crack during the "wild goose CHASE now"

Wrote a song about GADE

On Youtube it often played

Next year was sci-fi

Watching little aliens fry

It's been in my head all night as We Didn't Start the Fire came up on my ipod on the ride home. 

Cantrell’s quarter game

Collecting trash is so lame

If you build it they will come

It you burn it they will run

If you have no idea what I'm talking about scroll to the right and click on the top video on the video bar. 

Or just go here for the lyrics and explanation: No tubing, too much bank, Tankety-tank-tank

Meet Delayed...Reaction. For those of you who don't already know us. 

Actually I'm pretty sure the *invisible milkjug dance* looked a bit like that. 

Anyway, we write songs at camp and then record them. 

Our original recording was better - we were physically at camp - and I have it somewhere but not sure where that somewhere is. 

But I'll upload it when I find it later. 

I'm sure when I'm not looking for it it'll turn up as things usually do. 

But that was a few years back. We haven't written one for a couple years. 

Now that he's all married and I'm pretty sure his wife hates me. 

Not that I can blame her, but that's a long story. 

Anyway, so today rocked because of a single meeting and I was reminded why I'm in this profession. 

Which is ironic because just last week I was questioning that very fact. 

But that's an even longer story. 

Like I said, taking a stand cause that's what the Library Goddess would tell me to do. 

If only it wouldn't have snowed then I'd have gotten to see the boyfriend tonight as was originally planned cause the rest of this week is crazy busy. Touring libraries tomorrow and the next day and then TRIVIA NIGHT on Friday. I'm stoked. 

And I have Donna clothes. 

Did I mention that last night? I don't remember if I did or not. But I found Donna clothes. Oldest Sister will be thrilled as she's the one that bought them for me in the first place, though I don't think that's what she had in mind at the time. 

I really need to quit rambling and sleep. I started this entry like an hour and a half ago. To be fair I did have a giant cat blocking half my keyboard. 

Writer's Block
Greta Stop!!

Raise your capri to the sun.

Other things I learned this week:

-"Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all letters in alphabetical order.

-The reason firehouses have circular staircases is because they used to have horses and horses can walk up regular stairs, but not circular ones.

-My family is capable of remaining sane and semi-calm. We get thrown out of places like Valentino's and churches, so I was proud we made it the whole way through without a glare or comment.

-There's a law in California guaranteeing sunshine to every resident.

- On average more people fear spiders more than they do death.


Finished my homework and posted it. That's pretty much all I got today. 9-6 at work, obviously, did a lot of supply stuff. Jammed with a few of my favorite people.

I'm trying to figure out if I like pistachios or not. They're actually really gross. But I've eaten half a box over the past week.

They're gross.

Vomitrocious even.

But they're here.

And I'm eating them cause they're here.

They need to go away.

But if I eat them then they'll be away.

And i don't have to buy them anymore.

"What if a simulated van hits me?"
"I'll hit you in the face with a pillow."


Name that quote.

So yeah homework's done, I'm good until Saturday which is class. Then it'll be more of the same.

I'm out, long day tomorrow. And the day after that.

Started food drive planning stage, I'm stoked! Activity is staying under wraps at the moment as it's a work in progress but I'll tell you all about it when it's finalized.

"Barbara Ann" Beach Boys

grew up with this oen.

oh yeah, title is from 2 Broke Girls. Which I'm way behind on. But Max throws Caroline a birthday party and it's pathetic. And they drink capri sun. and it's fantastic. The episode, not the party.

help me Rhonda, help, help me Rhonda.

Interesting day at the farmhouse.

This morning was church, Second Sister and family came down so we all went together.

After that we hit up a local restaurant for lunch buffet. Super small town but famous for its Wing Wednesdays and all that. Basically on those night there are no plates, just plastic tablecloths. But this morning it was buffet so had some salad, potatoes, corn and all that.

Older brother and his family met up with us there so following lunch we came back to the house where the men proceeded to take naps while the women sat on the couch and watched a Royals game.

Amusing, I know.

All the while talking about my wedding, no he didn't propose but they were giving me crap cause there are these giant wedding pictures of my siblings on the wall behind us. So since we're going to Vegas we joked about having Elvis marry us. My brother was having none of that and everytime he'd drift off to sleep they'd ask something about wedding colors or number of bridesmaids and he'd wake right back up to yell "don't be talking about that!"

But I'm used to the crap being thrown in my direction, I am the youngest afterall.

Actually we jokingly said that we should act like we got married and take a picture with Elvis at a church then text it to my parents saying, "Congratulations we got married" just to see what the reaction would be.

Speaking of the boyfriend, he stopped by tonight on his way back from riding his motorcar in Kansas. Dad showed him all the buildings and a bunch of old cars and train layouts and that stuff.

You have to remember that he knew my dad before he knew me so it wasn't a foreign concept, but they talked cars and trains for about an hour and a half, re-bonded you could say. It was amusing.

And I know nothing about cars so everything they said about engines went straight over my head.

So they planned future stuff with trains, think he's gonna buy some sort of trailer thing from me dad. That's all I need, more bonding. Now they'll probably start investing in motorcars together or something and I'll never escape.

Not that I want to, I'm a fan of both of them.

So tomorrow is Memorial Day, going out to lunch with the great aunt and Mom and then over to the cemetery. Clean up the stones and all that. After that who knows.

I'm out for the night, throw in a disc of Leverage and konk out.

Music Rec:

"Help Me, Rhonda" Beach Boys


Oh yeah, and how could I forget about the Swamp People marathon this afternoon, we watched 5 and saved some for tomorrow.

I added "Duck Dynasty" to his DVR list, assuming it's something he would enjoy. Now watch, next time I come home there will be a bunch of episodes of that he'll have saved for me too.

But it's good, I enjoy watching those shows with him. Gotta get my Reality TV fix. Aside from Swamp People all I really watch that's "real life" is The Voice.

And they're bringing it back in the fall but it'll probably have different celebrity coaches, then the regular ones will pick it up in the spring. But it's not The Voice without Adam and Xtina bickering, Blake's southern charm and Cee-Lo hitting on all the women.

We'll see where that goes.

I'm out!

Grad School Verdict + 4 Reviews

Well, the final tally is in with the verdict 1,029 points out of 1,030 points possible. And I was doing so well up until that last submission! Messed up on a citation - big surprise there - but was a total pro up until then. Out of the like 20 something citations, no wait it was 5 citations per book cause you had to do one for the book, one for the author's website, 2 for published reviews and then one for a book like it. So 5 per book and I read 12 books. And had a perfect score until the last one. Man. Grad school. Just... You know... One point, that's just... mean. But I'm done for the summer and I have a new summer song which surprisingly hasn't driven me nuts yet as pop-y as it is. I got sick of Whine Up about a month in.

But I'm done! Cause now I have my final grades, sent in my thank-you's, all that's left now is to write the reviews, oh wait I haven't called my mother...give me a minute.... Called my mother, she told me to celebrate so huzzah!
I'll watch the CWS, route for SC and drink something. Like a Mike's. If I have a Mike's.
*celebration ensues*
Moving on.

I told you earlier I would hit you with the book reviews once the class was finished. Then I got busy with other stuff and after that I just didn't want to do it, but now I have time. There are 12 books, but there's no way I'm reviewing all 12 now. I'm thinking 4 per day. It'll give me something to talk about for the rest of the weekend.

Okay, here we go.

So Book #1 was "Revolution" by Jennifer Donnelly.
Basically, the story is about Andi, a student about to graduate high school. Her brother is killed, her mother goes crazy so her father decides to take her to Paris. Her father, a famous geneticist, is there to test a heart that people claim to be the heart of the dauphin of France. The dauphin of France was the son of the King and Queen during the Revolution. His parents were beheaded and he was imprisoned so the people could live in a democratic world no longer ruled by royalty. While Andi is in France she discovers a diary in an old guitar case that belonged to Alex, the official companion to the dauphin. Alex took care of him, entertained him, and after he was imprisoned tried to free him. The story bounces back from Andi's life to Alex's journal entries. As Andi gets drawn in by Alex's story she notices things in her world start to overlap with Alex's. She must know whether Alex was able to save the dauphin or if it really is his heart that her father is testing.
Scale of Awesome rating: 10/10 - The book is great if you're a fan of historical fiction. Donnelly does a great job of explaining the French Revolution as she's telling the story. I actually researched it after I was done with the book because I became so interested. You learn about it without feeling like she's drowning you in it. I was very impressed.


Book #2 - "Hold Still" by Nina LaCour
Caitlin is the main character in this book. It starts right after her best friend, Ingrid, commits suicide. She doesn't understand why, she has a lot of rage, and then suddenly the summer is over and she has to go back to school and face everyone. Then one day she finds Ingrid's journal under her bed. While reading the journal she begins to understand not only about Ingrid but about herself - as cheesy as that sounds. It's a good book,
Scale of Awesome says: 7/10 - It's a really quick read and actually really different from what I'm used to reading so at first I was resistant. After she found the journal it was hard to put down.


Book #3 was "Bruiser" by Neal Shusterman
This book is told from many perspectives, it kind of bounces back and forth. Tennyson and Bronte are two siblings growing up and going to high school. The book starts just as Bronte starts dating this guy that everyone calls Bruiser. He's big and awkward and doesn't talk to anyone. After finding out that his sister is dating Bruiser, Tennyson decides to follow him home finding an uncle who beats him, a fears-nothing-cause-he's-young brother, and a dead bull. In their front yard. After helping him to dispose of the bull - so glad he only gave us the before and after of that part - he and Bruiser become closer and he begins to notice things. Like, why all of his injuries just suddenly don't exist around Bruiser. I can't really say anything more than that without giving anything away, but read this book. Because it's fantastic.
Scale of Awesome rating: 9/10 - I loved this book! It's funny, it's mysterious, and it's a quick-read. What more can I say?


Book #4 was a Golden Sower nominee "Extra Credit" by Andrew Clements
Abby is awesome at rock climbing. She is not, however, so awesome at everything else, say school. She's failing. And they're going to hold her back. Her only option: extra credit. The teacher gives her choices and puts them in a hat, she pulls out the pen-pal option aka write to a different country back and forth with a pen-pal. This is how she finds herself in contact with Sadeed who is from Afghanistan. Sadeed is the most qualified student at the school her letter was sent to. He knows English so he would be the one to write her back, except, it's improper for a young boy and a young girl to write back and forth in their society, so he writes what his sister says instead. After getting tired of being the scribe he decides to write his own letter and send it along with his sister's. Then Clements throws in some cultural differences, there's drama, and that's all I'm gonna give you cause it's a short book.
Scale of Awesome - for me I'd say 6/10 but it would be a perfect read for a younger adolescent who's wanting more to read than just basic chapter books. Super quick read with big font and not so many pages.


Cool Aunt and I are sad since Vandy is toast. They lost to Florida this afternoon. Total downer man. No more "Black! Gold" this season. Although I may continue to text her that randomly throughout the summer as it is rather amusing. Now I'm saying South Carolina. It would be cool for them to win the last game at Rosenblatt and the first game at the TD-whatever-I'm-still-going-to-call-it-Rosenblatt stadium.

Okay, I have to say I'm really enjoying these Super Cuts commercials on ESPN. I think they're fantastic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvfWUjHBNJY
and Esurance

"Raise the roof 1999." that's our victory dance at the smaller branch.
I'm all about raisin' the roof.


Songs tonight:

"Barbara Ann" The Beach Boys

gotta love it.

"That's How Country Boys Roll" Billy Currington

they love mama and jesus and jones...



and yet "Run, Joey, run, Joey, run...." is still in my head. ugh.


OUT! Go SC!