Post #1000: My Top Library Moments of All Time

That's right, 1000 posts.

Kind of a big deal.

So I debated topics but then it hit me, my top moments at the library of all time.

Well, library system that is since I've worked at two branches.

So, here's a list of my favorite (and not so favorite at the time but now find them amusing) moments since I started back in 2010.

And yes, this post is epically long. Don't worry, you won't have to worry about that again...until post 1500 or 2000 or 2500...

To make it easier to follow I divided them up into categories. They're not really in order of importance, except for the Magnet category. That one is.

Magnet Moments
1. Likes Ass or Jazz
-I have a problem at work. I seem to attract a serious amount of creepers. Slim Shady called me a magnet once and it stuck. "Likes Ass or Jazz" is my number one magnet moment. It goes as follows: I helped a guy find sheet music and asked "can I help you with anything else?" He gave me the once over and I have never said the phrase ever again at work. Instead, now I say "can I help you find anything else?" Anyway, he asked for my number, I said I don't date patrons then went back to work. I thought I had escaped until about 20 minutes later when he showed up to check out at the front desk. While I was busy scanning his sheet music he grabbed a pen and paper and wrote something down then slid it in my direction. I waited until he left to look at the paper. On it was his name - illegible - followed by his number and the phrase "Likes ass or jazz." Needless to say I did not call him. And of course he just happened to be outside when Slim Shady and I walked out to our cars so we pretended to be in deep conversation when passing him and his friends so I wouldn't have to face him.

2. Everything that everybody warned about
-Likes ass or jazz is number one on my list, but it's not the most intense of the group. That honor goes to Tom. Tom is a long story that I will try to sum up in a paragraph. I was working upstairs in the lab when this guy came up and asked about bank phone numbers. He smiled, I smiled, whatever. Anyway, later in the day I was downstairs shelving DVDs when he showed up behind me and asked for my number. Tom is the reason for the no dating patrons rule, just so you know, unfortunately for me that means the rule wasn't in existence yet and he seemed sane so I gave him my number. Turns out he wasn't. My favorite part of the whole experience was going back to the desk and hearing my work brother tell me he was bad news and then another coworker saying that my work brother would know bad news because he used to be bad news himself. Anyway, so we met up after work at a bar, played darts, and it was fun. In fact all was fun until I woke up the next morning with 30 missed calls on my cellphone. I decided then that he was too much for me and ended it over the phone. When he wouldn't listen and continued to call me all day I turned off my phone and later listened to a voicemail saying if I didn't answer he was going to show up at the library the next day and make a scene. Which meant I had to tell my bosses and the guard. That was fun. I also told Second Sister who then called me every hour on the hour for 24 hours just to make sure I wasn't locked in a trunk somewhere. She insisted if he showed up at my apartment that I was supposed to do the "intercom breakup", starting a new trend for breakups everywhere. Needless to say after that I never dated a patron again.

3. Grey shirted foreign guy
-So I had this patron at the work branch who would ask me out and I replied, sorry I don't date patrons. He then learned that I worked at the home branch and started showing up there and asking me out. I told him the rule applied to patrons systemwide. Then he started talking about marriage and settling down and it became even more awkward. When he showed up the next day at the work branch I told my work brother to not leave me alone with the foreign guy in the grey shirt. About half an hour later I'm helping out this guy who happened to be foreign and wearing a grey shirt, but it wasn't the actual guy, and my work brother shows up out of nowhere, hands me a book and says "take this to the back room." He then took over and when I came back the guy was gone. While I was glad he was watching out for me, it was still amusing because it was the wrong guy.

4. Hey, Little Red Riding Hood
-"Love at the library" is what Slim Shady called this one. This guy was on a computer and wanted to know about dry camping so I helped him find some info yet completely forgot now what dry camping is in the first place. Anyway, I had red hair at the time and he started calling me Little Red Riding Hood. It continued for a week until he stopped coming in.

5. Karaoke Mike
-Mike was a guy who would hit on me every time he came in and I did my best to avoid him but for some reason he was very consistent. During our last encounter he asked me to go karaoking with him and gave me the address to a bar here in town with a time and date. Fortunately I was busy and couldn't go and that was the end of that.

6. Jerry
-True creeper this one. This older guy who would come in and get DVDs and then he'd tell me he'd see me in his dreams. He asked for a picture of me once, it was really awkward.

7. Old Lady Stalker
-Unfortunately it's not only men that follow me around the building. I have a woman that does that too. This one told me her life story while looking for books on Suzanne Somers. While I thought she was being nice I was told she actually has a history of stalking female employees and now whenever she comes in I'm required to leave the area.

8. Commenting Creeper
-While on my way to the back room I passed a drunk guy seating next to the doorway. All the sudden I hear "nice ass..." and kept walking in fear of turning around and having him leer more at me. When I told this to my coworkers in the backroom one of our former aides said she would have cussed him out in Russian. We went back out but he was already gone. Bummer.

Incident Reports
1. Fortune Teller
-We have these things called Incident Reports that we have to fill out when anything bad happens and once they're submitted they get emailed to the rest of the staff. By bad I mean patrons showing drunk, people throwing fits, just anything that is bad enough that needs to go on record. I've filled out quite a few of these throughout my three years but one sticks out in particular. A lot of the time people that call in want phone numbers. This is fine, we have lots of resources, it just takes time to find them. One lady called in wanting personal numbers and when I couldn't find them fast enough she started to insult me repeatedly. I did my best and eventually found the ones she was looking for and that's when she became all sweet and said she wanted to tell me something. Apparently, she could tell from the way that I spoke that within the next two weeks I was going to find a mate. Also, the world was going to end so I needed to right all my wrongs and never take advantage of anyone. Because of her threatening nature earlier in the call I had to write up an incident report and include her ramblings of my finding a mate within the next two weeks. Needless to say I got a lot of responses about that one. Coincidentally, less than 2 weeks later I met Tom...

2. The code
-We have this code - I can't tell you what it is cause that would negate the code - but we have a code that we use when we're in trouble at the desk and need to get away. We call someone at a different desk and say the code or sometimes when people notice we're having trouble they come and take over and send us to find the code. There was once such instance that stands out the most. Queen of the Known Universe and I were working in the lab when this guy came up to the desk and kept asking me all these personal questions. I remember it was around Thanksgiving and he basically invited himself over to my house for Thanksgiving. QoftKU happened to be there so she went out into the stacks and using her cellphone she called the desk. I answered and then acted like I needed to go find something for her. She then went to the desk to cover. After a few minutes he realized I wasn't coming back so then he started to talk to her. I saw this from the stacks so I decided to call her desk from my cellphone and she used that as an escape method as well. We met up in the middle of the nonfiction and watched as he stood by the desk waiting for us to come back. When he finally realized we weren't coming back he left and we returned to the desk.


Home Branch Fun
1. "I know this is ridiculous but..."
-My first day of work at the home branch, and for the library system in general, was spent in the back room. We had these plastic bags that we gave out for Summer Reading and apparently the legal department decided they were dangerous because if a kid put it over their head they would suffocate. I can still remember Glee-Loving Boss's voice when he said, "I know this is ridiculous..." and handed me a 3 hole punch so I could punch holes in the bottom of each of our plastic bags.

2. Dirt System
-Space Cadet and I were having a conversation about shifting stuff around the library. I said something like, "what happens if I just move it?" and she responded with something like, "you don't have the power to do that you're dirt. no, you're below dirt mining for minerals." This is back when I was an aide. I actually enjoyed that immensely because for the next 3 and a half years I got to say, "she called me dirt" in a little kid whiney voice and then she felt all fake bad about it. It actually led us to creating what we called the Dirt System. It represented the library's hierarchy and goes something like this:

Director - Sun
Assistant Director - Moon
Branch Manager - Clouds
Admin Staff - Sky
Librarians - Trees - though Sensei wanted to be a shrub
LA3's - Grass
LA2's - Dirt
Aides - Below dirt, mining for minerals aka Subdirt

I was excited because I was able to bring it back this week. I asked if I was still dirt if I had my Master's degree.

3. Flu Mist Nasal Spray
-Every year I get a flyer for Flu Mist Nasal Spray sent from an anonymous source through interdepartmental mail and it's because of this incident. I hate needles. If you know me at all you know that already. I pass out in their very presence. I told this to Glee-Loving Boss when he talked about getting a flu shot. He said that I should get the shot or I would get sick and I said I would rather get the flu than get the shot. At that very moment Oldest Sister decided to walk in, cause she used to come to the home branch all the time back when I was there. Glee-Loving Boss relayed this story on to her and she agreed that I needed to get a flu shot and that she would go with me just to hold me down. That's when Glee-Loving Boss said that they now make a nasal spray that works just as well. I still said I would rather get the flu and somehow majestically escaped getting the shot, I think Oldest Sister got too busy and distracted, yay. Anyway, I forget about it and then every year around December in the mail comes an ad. I have them hanging all over my desk and locker.

4. Shirley's Face
-You know how some people have their volume turned up really loud on their phone and even though you don't want to hear their conversations you do anyway? This happened once at the home branch when I was helping our volunteer with the self-check. There was a woman on the computer next to the self-check and he phone rang. When she answered if you could hear the gentlemen on the other side of the line say VERY LOUDLY "I've got diarrhea bad!" I will never forget the look on Shirley's face when she turned and looked at me. Horrified is one word to describe it and the expression is forever burned into my brain.

5. Screw the fan, you want an e-reader!
-This one came after the Christmas when e-readers were THE hot gift and we would get calls at the library every hour asking how they could download e-books from our catalog. We were told that instead of avoiding talking about e-readers with our customers that we needed to embrace them and be enthusiastic about them because they were the future. During a particularly amusing Tuesday night Space Cadet and I really took this one to heart repeatedly throwing out the phrases "yay e-readers!" and "we're enthusiastic about e-readers!" We then got into a discussion about how her husband is very handyman-like and fixes things around the house. One thing he was fixing was the ceiling fan. Apparently the lights flickered - which he fixed - but then the fan stopped working even when you pulled the string so I was like, "well maybe you should get a new fan", and she was like "it is new!" So I yelled "Well then screw the fan! You want an e-reader!" She died.

6. Sea cow vs. Snow leopard
-This is another Space Cadet Tuesday night. We used to work together every Tuesday night, Tuesday nights were my favorite cause I was only there for 2 hours. It was Space Cadet at first, then the Queen of Awesome, and Joe Studley, it was always a lot of fun. Anyway, when it was slow Space Cadet and I would have debates. One famous one was who would win in a fight a sea cow or a snow leopard. Random I'm aware, but we read that sea cows were extinct and she had recently had a dream with a snow leopard in it. I have no idea why. Anyway, our conclusion was that a sea cow would win because they're too big to leave the water and the snow leopard would never last that long under water.

7. 9/11 Parking Lot Adventure
-Why is it that all the bad things happen when you're alone in the building? The home branch is a particularly small library and sometimes there's only 1 person there to close. One night about 5 minutes to close a woman came in crying, hands all scratched up and covered in blood. She had tripped over a curb in our parking lot and wanted to know if she could use our bathroom to clean herself up. She was an older lady so after she returned from the bathroom I helped her apply some bandages and asked if I could help her to her car. She seemed really shook up so I called Superwoman and asked what to do. She came over to the library and we decided to call 911. An ambulance and fire truck came and checked her out. She ended up leaving in the ambulance for further tests.

8. "You looked all serious." "I am serious, I gotta get rid of this 7Up!"
-Another Space Cadet reference. One morning she came up to me looking all serious and I thought I was in trouble. She proceeded to tell me how she inherited this box of 7Up and wanted to know if I would take it. I said sure and then said I was worried because she "looked all serious." She responded, "I am serious, I gotta get rid of this 7Up!"

9. Sunny D Utility Belt
-When I used to work mornings at the home branch I would bring a bottle of juice with me for breakfast. I was prone to leaving it somewhere while shelving. Queen of Awesome told me that I should get a utility belt to put it in so I wouldn't forget it.

10. Dead limbs
-You know how sometimes when your cat bites you your limb goes numb? Anyone? Anyone? No it's not a good sign, but it only happened once and eventually came back so it was fine. The only problem with that was in the meantime I had to go to work and on this particular day Superwoman needed me to get on a step stool and hang up artwork. This may be easy for a person with two arms, but when one of those arms is dead you're left trying to figure out how you're supposed to hold up the picture above your head along with the stapler and then how you're going to staple with the stapler. I ended up using the dead arm to hold the artwork and stapler to the wall then I bashed the stapler with the good arm. Skills.

11. Contents: Weed
-As an aide you do a lot of boxing. Donations mostly, but every few months the branches run what they call "weed lists" which are lists of items that need to be weeded from the collection. Pulling the items was not a problem but what made me laugh was the signs we had to tape to the sides of the boxes to make them recognizable. Contents: Weed

12. Shelver's Curse
-As an aide you also do a ton of shelving. You are the backbone of the library whether they like it or not. Thankfully when I was one I had a very supportive crew with me. Anyway, since you shelve repeatedly you get to know the call numbers and their locations. I started calling it the Shelver's Curse but it's actually quite useful when you're out in the stacks. The only problem is that I was a shelver at the home branch and learned my call numbers and locations from there so now when I need to locate an item I visualize the shelves at the home branch and judge what the call number is by where it's shelved in my mind. 2 years after retiring as a shelver at that branch.

But, if someone asks,
Computers are 005's,
Encyclopedia's are 031's,
Bibles are 220's,
Finance are 330's,
True Crime 364.152-154,
Foreign languages are 400's,
Math and Science crap is 500's,
Health and exercise is about 612-620,
Car manuals 629's,
Gardens are 635,
Animals are 636,
Cookbooks start at 640 and go through about 649 which is when you'll hit the
resume books at 650.14,
after that it's knitting and sewing in the early 700's,
Comics and how to draw stuff is in the 741's-745's,
Decorating is 747's,
780's are music,
790's are sport stuff,
800's are mostly classic literature stuff and
some comedy around 817,
all the travel stuff is in the 900's,
US travel is like 917s,
917.82 or 917.822 is Nebraska central.
For some reason you get baby names at 929. No idea why.
Then you've got US and world history after that in the late 900s,
And then it's all biographies from there.

13. The Lost in Transit Band
-We had a merry band of coworkers so we once decided we should start a band called the Lost in Transit - that's another one of the lists you run when you're an aide. We all played different instruments so we figured we had it all covered. QofA plays flute, Glee-loving boss plays trumpet, Sensei plays piano, I play guitar and Joe Studley was our lead singer. We were very different people but it seemed to work. In fact, we all had very different majors - genealogy, theology, nutrition, english, and business but that just helped us to be better as a unit.

14. "She says I should get a sticker. Or a gold star. Or a pizza." 
-Space Cadet loves pizza. In fact we used to order pizza and eat it at our staff meetings then she and I would debate about who in town had the best pizza and breadsticks. I did well on something, I think it had something to do with the point system, and Space Cadet told me I needed to tell Superwoman that I deserved a prize. So, I said the above quote and she hit me with, "Oh good grief, she would say pizza." In the end I got a snowflake sticker to put on my nametag. The kind we gave away at the desk that she didn't know about until she showed up that morning and said, "hey cool snowflake stickers."

15. But I am shy!
-If you knew me before the library you know that I'm very antisocial. Or was very antisocial. And shy.
We were scanning books and Joe Studley claimed that I can't be a shy person because I was in drama in high school and I direct a kids camp and I sing and I'm on YouTube. I yelled, "But I AM shy!" And with seriously perfect timing Glee-Loving Boss walked in and said "Since when?!"

16. "Are you free tonight? Do you need to call your mother?"
-So Superwoman and I give each other a tremendous about of crap. It works for us, but it started a long long time ago. The first of which that I can remember was this. She asked me to cover a night shift, and since I didn't have a life - at that point that is - I said yes, not realizing that my mother had this family thing planned. Last minute I called SW and she covered for me, however, the next time she asked me to work late she preceded it with "Are you free tonight? Do you need to call your mother?"


Work Branch Fun
1. Bird in the back room
-This is probably the funniest memory of them all cause I don't think I've laughed so hard, after you know screaming really loudly in a corner that is. So there's this fake bird somewhere in the building and I know this because it was on Superwoman's chair and I screamed bloody murder when I first ran into it. A few weeks later I went into the back room and saw what looked like that fake bird sitting on a cart of books to be checked in. Thinking that Superwoman was pulling a prank on me I approached the bird and then...it moved. I went to the guard and told him about it and he went with me to get it back outside. I should mention that the guard on staff that day was an elderly gentlemen who was a big guy and used to be in the military. I pointed out the bird, closed the door behind me and hid in the corner. The guard noticed that the delivery man had left the door open and that's how it must have gotten in. He then decided that the best way to get the bird back out the door was to herd it in that direction so he raised his arms, started screaming, and ran at it. The bird decided that instead of flying back outside it would fly at my head instead. So I'm crouched over in the corner screaming bloody murder while the bird flies at my head and the guard chasing it around the back room screaming and waving his arms the whole time - reminder this is a big ex-military guy - eventually the bird flew out the door but not before making a mess everywhere. Me, not wanting to touch any of that, thanked the guard and went out to tell my boss running into my coworkers first. Apparently they heard the screams, so still living that one down. I found BossLady and showed her the mess the bird had made all over the place. She said she'd clean it up so I followed her around the room and handed her sanitizing wipes which she decided to chase me around the room with after. Mean. "Scared the crap out of me." "Scared the crap out of it too."

2. Point System
-Since I started right before Summer Reading began my training was being thrown to the wolves. And I survived so I'm stronger for it. Since she didn't get a chance to train me properly Superwoman used to schedule herself with me and quiz me on things. This is where the Point System started. I started at 0 and have worked my way up and down to 156.58 and I'm stuck there. She did give me points for graduating but I think it was like 2 so barely. 156.58 is great, except that my Mom has 150 points and Space Cadet has 175. These are my own fault. Space Cadet got 150 points for sending an email with an attachment which I showed her how to do. Then got another 25 later on cause Superwoman knows I'm gullible and competitive. Mom got 150 cause she sent an email with an attachment and I relayed that to Superwoman. Like I said, gullible and competitive.

3. "Tell them you worship snakes."
-This one came from Cabin Fever about Tom. She was the first one who responded to my Fortune Teller Incident Report and then told me I had to be mean to Tom or he would follow me to the corners of hell. I asked her what I could do to make creepers stop following me and she said she tells telemarketers or religious people that come to her door that she worships snakes cause that usually shuts them up long enough for her to hang up or close the door. She also said I should find something unattractive about myself and emphasize it when creepers are around so they'll leave me alone. I replied - too loudly - "what's unattractive about me?" and another coworker walked by and asked if I was having a bad day.

4. What Was I Thinking: The Hindsight Bias
-Another Cabin Fever reference, because of the multitude of bad dating experiences and just awkward experiences in general we have compiled we decided we should one day write a book entitled: What Was I Thinking: The Hindsight Bias. My first chapter will be called "So I dated a conman - dating mistakes, mishaps, and malfunctions".

5. Lottery Debate
-Every few weeks the Queen of the Known Universe buys lottery tickets that we all go in on. We're convinced that one day we will win it big and don't feel bad now that we know that admin does their own batch buying. We've debated as to what we would buy if we were to win. QoftKU wants a gulfstream stocked with cowboys and firemen, Old New Guy has decided on a yacht with a helipad so we can come visit, and I'm still working on my list of items. It has to be something that goes with the group theme and not something lame like a mansion with a nice sound system. I'm thinking something to do with trains would go over well with my boyfriend.

6. Hulk Taxes
-Every year the library offers tax assistance. One year we did it on Sundays and we open late on Sundays so it didn't start until 1PM. InfoMan, myself and an aide were opening the main floor when suddenly the front doors were Hulk-ed open and a man came in and headed toward the elevator. Infoman explained that we were closed - the lights were still off - and that he needed to go back outside and wait. The man insisted that he needed to be first in line to get his taxes done and proceeded to walk to the elevator. Infoman insisted he needed to wait outside and followed him closing the doors behind him. I can't think of a word better than Hulk-ed his way in, because literally he pried the two doors open and busted his way in. I can only imagine that that's exactly what happens when the Hulk needs tax assistance.

7. Bats at the library
-This one is a little more recent, and yet another opening discovery. While shelving the DVD's I looked up at the ceiling and noticed there was bat hanging next to the light. Crazy birds aside usually I'm not squeemish when it comes to small animals, but at the time my girlish shriek and repeated yelling of my boss's name would suggest otherwise. She thought he was cute. We called Animal Control and he came in with tupperware and a ladder. I went, seriously? That's your bat catching equipment? Not outloud of course, just in my head as I hid in the corner. He put the ladder under where the bat was located, climbed up, placed the tupperware against the ceiling around the bat and shook it until the bat fell into the bowl. He then put a lid on it, climbed down, picked up his ladder and left, shutting me up in the process.

8. "College"
-I have a lot of nicknames for people as you've noticed, and have gained a few myself along the way. My favorite of these is "College" which was given to me by my work big brother. We have a virtual services unit, filled with computer people specifically there to fix things, but whenever there seemed to be a computer problem and he and I were scheduled together he would call me "College" and tell me to go fix it. Which usually I could.

9. Internet down, cellphone reference
-One day last year our internet went down and anything that happens it's a travisty because that's why half of our patrons come to us. They get restless so we do the best we can. The added problem now is that our system is on the cloud so we can't access our library stuff either. This means we have to quick on our feet. During this particular instance wiring had been hit during construction and had to be re-individually spliced so we knew it would be a while. In the meantime I used my Shelver's Curse to find items for people and when that didn't work I looked stuff up on my phone's internet.

10. Bird vs. Glass door
-For some reason bosses always have people train with me. I don't know if it's because I'm young or new or still excited about the library, whatever reason I've trained a ton of people. During one training session I was in youth services when we heard this big THUNK. A bird had flown into the glass door and its feathers were scattered all over the ground. It sat there stunned as were we, trying to figure out what to do. When in doubt, call the guard. We felt bad for laughing while explaining this to the guard but by the time we went over to show him where he was it was gone.

11. 9/11 Fire Trucks Galore
-I was in the back room when one of my volunteers came in and said, "it smells like smoke on second floor." I was about to go confirm this when suddenly the fire alarms went off. 2 hours later we're still outside surrounding the building. We meaning our entire staff - admin included - a bunch of firefighters, and massive patron base all itching to get back on the internet computers. Sad day for them being we closed off second floor due to the smoke smell so they were all re-routed. The best part was when InfoMan decided to get rootbeer icecream from the place across the street. He's sitting there eating icecream in the middle of us just standing around, it was awesome.

12. Food Drive
-One of the joys about being new and active in the library is that you get assigned to a lot of things. One of these was the Food Drive. The first year I was the Padawan with Fearless Leader as my master, the next year I was the leader with my own Padawan learner. Leave it to me to decide we should open the drive up to the public instead of just the staff. After getting that approved we needed even more barrels which meant I had to drive my brother-in-law's beast of a truck around town delivering them to all of the branches. It's harder than it sounds, especially when you're new in town and can't see out of the back window. Anyway, we made it into a competition between branches. The first year it was just the most collected items, my second year we had them make sculptures out of the donated items and then outside judges picked the winner for most creative. My branch won when Fearless Leader and the New Girl created a Very Hungry Caterpillar out of our items.

13. Plant MIA
-There are many quirks at a workplace. One of ours used to be plant placement. We had this volunteer that would come in every few weeks and water our plants. One time she came in and one of the plants was missing. I remember there was a staff-wide email about its whereabouts and everything. One of our employees was currently relocated in our basement and had decided it was dead so she threw it out. Her nickname went from Koha Queen to Plant Killer.

14. TAB Apples to Apples
-I love my TAB kids but my favorite memory with them would probably be our holiday parties - last year in particular. They love to play Apples to Apples the regular addition because they think the junior version is too young for them. This is fine, until they run into a card for Nicolas Cage, Al Pacino, Mike Myers, Georgia O'Keefe, Jacques Cousteau, or even Princess Diana and draw a blank. We started a new rule. If you run into a person you don't know just discard them and draw again. This year they added a new rule for me, even if I know them but I think they won't I have to discard and pick a new one.

15. The Boyfriend
-So it's official. My coworkers now believe my boyfriend is real and not just a figment of my imagination. They can't say it anymore now that they've physically met him. And don't even fake it, I know that's why half of you came to my grad party, you knew he'd be there. The boyfriend has been a hot topic ever since he and I started back up again. And timing-wise it was great because Slim Shady met her now fiance right around the same time. That's when our conversations turned from movies, books, and Harry Potter 20 Questions to boys, every time, all the time. The moments that stick out the most when it comes to the boyfriend both come on Valentine's Day. Him and his damn flowers. It's sweet really. The first year I was in the back room with Girlscout and Info-man when Fearless Leader walks in with a big bouquet. I got out of the way cause I thought she was walking past me to get to Girlscout but she stopped in front of me. Apparently my face has never been so red. I told the boyfriend that my coworkers were giving me crap about him sending me flowers so the next year he hand-delivered them. It was like 5:30 and I was sorting DVDs when I hear Mentor clear her throat. I look up and he's there at the desk with a big bouquet. Sweet. But again, massive amount of crap from coworkers. It's okay, it's worth it.


Off-Desk Adventures
1. Booze Cakes
-That night was like a year in the making. We saw this book called Booze Cakes and thought it was hilarious. Eventually we were like, screw it, we should try it out so one night Fearless Leader and I went over to Slim Shady's apartment and created one. It was a mudslide cake and it was glorious. I left the baking to the pros - I burn soup so yeah - it was a lot of fun. We ate it while watching a marathon of Parks and Rec and I ended up taking a huge hunk of it home with me.

2. Movie Night/Jalapeno Margaritas/Noodlewhatevers
-Not only did we bake but we also saw a lot of movies together, King's Speech, Hunger Games, and This Means War are just a few, not including the ones we watched at Slim Shady's place. We used to eat out a lot as well. I took Slim Shady out for jalapeno margaritas and she hated them with a passion. The next time we went she said, and I quote, "Are you gonna order a gross margarita?" One time we tried this one place and I still can't remember the name of it. I just call it Noodlewhatevers even though noodle is nowhere in the title. It actually has something to do with pickles. I went there a few months ago and texted her that I was at Noodlewhatevers and she knew where I was talking about. It was nice having people my own age so we could do things. Not so much anymore.

3. Barnes and Noble w/ Queen of the Known Universe and Nights out w/ QofA
-But that's okay cause I still have QotKU and the QofA to go out and do things. One time QotKU and I met up at Barnes and Noble after work and joked about the urge to fix their shelving. Then reminded ourselves we didn't work there and it was there problem. We dramatically read summaries from the backs of books and ended up buying a few more than planned. Gave me pause when I looked for a spine label and didn't find one. Not a library. Right. Knew that. QofA and I meet up a lot outside of work as well. Mostly for food and conversation. One of those nights we'll actually make it to a movie.

4. TAB Leader Initiation Night
-And when they're not around apparently I have other options. After a TAB Cosplay Party myself and the other TAB leaders decided to go out for drinks and appetizers. Was fun getting to know them and joking about library stuff. The best part was that the bar we went to was under investigation because the previous week they got busted for strippers on the premises.

5. Inservice Go Fish
-Technically this was off-site at Inservice so I'm including it in this category. QofA and I got back from lunch early and decided to have a rousing game of Go Fish. After which I taught her how to play Old Maid. She kicked my butt. Beginner's luck. Then QotKU jumped in and we played some King's on the Corner.


Conferences 
1. NLA 2011 Green Bags and Nametags
-I like to call NLA (Nebraska Library Convention) GNC (Glorified Nerd Convention). We're nerds, we own it. Get used to it. The first NLA conference I ever went to we walked in and they gave us these green bags to put our stuff in. Fearless Leader labeled them as "library swag". They were awesome, especially when everyone left for lunch and half of downtown was carrying them around while the other half wondered if we were in some sort of cult. I love NLA cause I run into all my fun classmates, some of them even present.

2. NLA 2012 The Full Monica/Fake it 'til you make it
-NLA is different when you're a GA. I spent most of my day, well days I was there both days, running all over the place and taking photos of Mizzou alum presenters. It's more awkward than it sounds. 1 because they don't know me so they're confused as to why I'm taking a picture of them and not the other presenters and 2 because you walk in in the middle of their presentation and then leave abruptly after. There are bonuses to being the Library Goddess's GA. You get to meet everyone, including famous authors like Stephanie Bodeen and Mary Downing Hahn. Was a lot of fun, even though it was crazy weather outside.

3. NLA 2013 Truck Yeah
-Waking up at 4:30 and leaving at 5AM makes for a rocky start but it ended up to be a lot of fun. Road with QotKU in our big badass rented truck and the New Guy joined us last minute. We decided we were hot babes - we'd been hit on a lot that week - so it made for an excellent adventure. The conference was good too. Learned about 3D printers, even saw one in action, got lost on the way to lunch, listened to some government chick talk about promoting library services, and then ended it listening to some of my cooler classmates present about essential technology for special libraries.

4. Inservice 2013
-I was worried because we only had 1 guest speaker the entire day instead of breakout sessions so if she sucked we'd be stuck with her. She was actually highly entertaining. Here are a few of my favorite quotes:
-"Thank you for cheering for that, people in Minnesota don't even cheer for that anymore." (about Vikings going to championship)
-"You don't call AAA, you call Uncle Ray!"
-"You might read a book! *mumbles* librarians...."
-"Middle class has made alcohol good for you, thank you! Exercise? No thanks, I've got red wine!"


Misc
1. Nicknames
-As you've noticed I have a ton of nicknames. Basically everyone has one and its works cause I'm pretty sure they don't want to be first-named in a blog. Here are a few: Superwoman, BossLady, New Guy, Old New Guy, New Girl, Trainee, Mentor, Girlscout, Cabin Fever, Slim Shady, Info-Man, Library Judge, Reference Queen, Fearless Leader, Super Librarian Status, Koha Queen/Plant Killer, Queen of Three, Queen of the Known Universe, Queen of Awesome, Joe Studley, Sensei, Glee-Loving Boss, LLCoolAide, Little Shelver Boy, Space Cadet (shortened from Sleep-Deprived Space Cadets which is when we're both there and half awake) there are more but I'm blanking. Each one has a story behind it and I love them all.

2. Letter from the mayor
-A year or two ago I got a letter from the mayor for perfect attendance. Remember the I had no life reference? It was true. It has not happened since.



Quotes best left unexplained:
-"Public transportation is sexy..."

-"Show me your chest hair."

-"Do you date?"
-"Yes, I date."
-"Men?"
-"Yes, I date men."

-"You guys okay?"
-"I have hay fever. She's hungover."

-"What's the name of that big blue thing that blocks off the restroom?"
-"A gift from god?"
-"I was actually going for partition or divider, but gift from god works too."

“There’s no crying in Koha.” 


Supervisor: "Don't run in the library."
Kid: "I'm jogging!"

Me: "That'll be me in 50 years."
Space Cadet: "But you'll use your inside voice. Unless you're too deaf to hear it."

Fearless Leader: *holding up a copy of Legally Blonde the Musical* THIS is why I hate musicals!

Trainee: "It's like, what's that mean? and then Why are you reading my ass?" about the shorts with words on them.

Slim Shady: "They say it's a psychological thriller. I want to know what that means in the context of ballerinas."

Koha Queen: "I'm way passed bananas."

Girlscout: "My orca is gonna attack your porpoise!" 

Reference Queen: "This shirt is older than you are." 

Me: “Was it Patience or Fortitude?”
Slim Shady: “I think it was Patience.”
Me: “You don’t know do you?”
Slim Shady: “No idea.” take a picture in front of the lions

LLCoolAide: “Jam hands bring nothing but pain.” 


And there you have it. My favorite library moments. I'm sure there are more, and will be more, but I'll save those for post 1500.


On to the music. More of my favorites from 2013:

Troublemaker - Olly Murs


Mama's Broken Heart - Miranda Lambert

NLA Conference 2013 - Truck Yeah!

It is official. We survived. But now I'm zonked.

The day went a little something like this.

Woke up at 4:30. Got all dressed up.

Yes, makeup was included.

Yes, my hair was down.

No, I didn't wear the boots.

Met up with the Queen of the Known Universe and the New Guy and left around 5:10 in our awesome truck.

Photo courtesy of the Queen herself.

I brought my music adapter so we could plug in our playlists. It was mostly country - by the Queen and I - with some oldies thrown in by the New Guy. It was actually amusing though because she turned on the truck when the New Guy pulled in the parking lot and She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy came on the radio so we blasted it and were singing like maniacs. Pretty sure it weirded the hell out of him.

It was a fun start to an amusing ride.

So we're on our way, and we decide to stop at McDonald's for coffee. And we thought we knew where it was but again, it's dark and we're more interested in our playlists than the road so we drove right past it without noticing. We actually ended up stopping at the Starbucks in my boyfriend's town.



That was approximately 5:55 AM.

Got my chai tea latte, the New Guy got some juice and we were on our way.

Was a fairly fast drive, and we found the place on the first try...sort of. I mean, we had to make a u-turn but after that it was smooth sailing.

I mean, technically it was the second u-turn of the day, but still smooth sailing.

The place was super fancy.



Yes, apparently I am one of those people.

Learned a lot throughout the day so that was good.

In the morning they did this demo with a 3D printer and some other cool gadgets. They actually showed us this webpage with a bunch of failed print jobs, it was highly entertaining. Superwoman and the Boss's Boss's Boss's Assistant were right in front of me and thought perhaps we could get one with a grant.

I'm gonna keep bugging them until we do, my teens would love it.

Unless of course it's me that has to submit the paperwork, then I'll have to think about it.

The next session was more fun gadgetry - Raspberry Pi and Arduino - want those, they are sweet.

After that we took a break to check out the booths. The New Guy and I went through and grabbed a bunch of free stuff - creepy cat bags included - and took pictures with the cast of the Big Bang Theory.

The cardboard version.

Last year they just had Sheldon, this year they had the whole cast, it was awesome.

Got a hug from the Library Goddess and caught up with a bunch of fun GA friends before I was forced into a picture with what seemed like half my class and two of the Mizzou professors.

Guess which newsletter that's going into. Yep. That's right. The one I used to be in charge of.

And had to scramble to find pictures for.

NLA season was easy though, there was plenty to work with. It was the off-season that makes you flail.

After the picture I escaped to learn about new online tools to use at the library. That one was packed, it should've been in a bigger room, but how can you tell really what's gonna be popular and what's not beforehand? Sat by the Queen, made colorful commentary and then we were off for lunch.

Also got lost on the way there, but that wasn't our fault. Google maps and GPS had it wrong. The Queen ended up getting out and asking the gas station attendant where it was. I was glad we decided to take the truck. We could have walked but we would have just ended up walking in circles for even longer.

Carlos O'Kellys, had fajitas. They were awesome and I couldn't finish them.

We stalled a bit before heading back but made it before the keynote speaker had started. We actually sat against the back wall, also highly enjoyable.

She was really good. I wasn't expecting her to be good, I was kind of dreading it actually. Keynotes can drag on if you don't have the right speaker. But she was funny, which I also wasn't expecting. She was in politics and from the title it sounded like it was gonna be all about government stuff, but it wasn't about the shutdown at all.

Though she did reference it once or twice for comedy. We mostly talked about advocacy and what it can do for our libraries.

She did bring up a lot of amusing stuff. Apparently they did this survey about what was more popular than congress. One of these things is not like the other, name the item you think is less popular than congress:

Cockroaches
Ebola
Lindsey Lohan
France

It's France. Strangely cockroaches, Ebola and Lindsey are all more popular than congress but for some reason we take issue with France.

Makes perfect sense, right?

We also learned a lot about rat poison and bars. Two separate stories, neither were hers.

After the keynote I listened to current and past library students talk about the program. I enjoy sitting sidelines and making colorful commentary as I'm going through it as well. It's always fun to hear what they have to say. We were missing a major element to that equation though, the Authentically Amazing One and Only KB so it could have been even better. Had to take a picture next to an empty chair to photoshop her in.

Last session of the day was about technology in special libraries.

I went for two reasons: 1 because I'm doing my practicum at a special library, but mostly 2 because I wanted to make faces at the presenters who just happened to be some of my cool classmates.

The whole event felt like some weird family reunion, I kept running into classmates and old professors. It was good to see them all again.

That was the last session of the day so after even more pictures we hit the road to head back in our cool truck.

Here are a few of my favorites quotes from the day:

Me: "She has excellent taste in music."
Queen: "I wish I knew her before the accident."
if we were in an accident the medics would see our stack of awesome CDs to choose from. 

Me: "I like his pink hair, he's like the anti-president."
seriously, our nebraska library association president has pink hair. he's awesome. 

Speaker: "I know I look young, but I have 25 years of experience....yesterday was my birthday. I turned 30."
cool, hey wait...

Speaker: "I got a Master's in Legislative Affairs, it's not what it sounds like."
Queen: "I bet the field research would be fun."
more colorful commentary from the back row. 

"Rat poison, we hate it when kids lick it."
that's always a good thing to say when asking for funding. 

"I, state your name here."
"I, state your name here."
"That's the first time that's happened."
see, librarians can have a sense of humor. shocked the politician. 

"Gotta find that damn McDonald's."
and we did!

The last one is my favorite, the Queen and her daughter had a conversation earlier about birds that sit on the telephone wires and if they can listen in to conversations.
Me: Damn government birds.

And that was my day. Here are a couple of songs that made our playlists:

Truck Yeah - Tim McGraw


this was our theme song. it was both the first and last song played during our drive - sexy tractors didn't count as we were still stationary.

yes that is garrett hedlund in case you were wondering.

Pickup Man - Joe Diffie


see, I liked Joe Diffie before Jason Aldean came around and sang about him. just throwing that out there.

sorry. not a fan.

So that was NLA 2013. For previous years go here:

2011 Green Bags and Nametags
2012 Day One - the Full Monica
2012 Day Two - Fake it 'til you make it



Legitimate pre-midnight post. Holy crap tag in use.

Single white female looking for a man like you.

Do you ever feel like people are becoming too creative with their license plates?

Like today I was driving behind a car with one that said I CRE8

That's great, congratulations, you create what exactly? And why are you putting it on your license plate?

Granted this is coming from someone who just suggested we make homemade license plates that say BABEWGN to cover the Iowa plates on our rental so feel free to ignore my thoughts on this subject.

That's right the big day is tomorrow!

NLA - the Nebraska Library Association conference also known as the GNC - Glorified Nerd Convention.

Green bags and nametags all around.

We're nerds, but it's okay, we own it. I love it.

Meeting up with the Queen of the Known Universe and the New Guy at 5AM so we can be there before 8 which means I'm waking up at 4:30.

Clearly the Queen is driving, anything before 8 for me is questionable, I'm not sure about the New Guy. And since she's driving she rented a pickup truck cause it gave her an excuse to rent one - she has a slight obsession.

Earlier this month the New Guy dubbed it the "Babe Wagon" because we kept getting hit on that week. Now he has joined our carpool crew so he is a babe as well.

We need one of those yard sticks like they have at the amusement parks.

"You must be *this* sexy to ride." 

My friends all laughed when I told them I was going to bed at 9.

Mostly because they know me. For me it's almost impossible to go to bed before 10PM. Actually I rarely go to bed before 1AM.

It just doesn't work so I'm gonna have to turn on something especially boring.

The only problem is that I don't own anything especially boring.

Maybe the Addams Family.

I'm sorry, I hated the original movie but I really liked the sequel Family Values.

For most people that's backwards.

But waking up tomorrow at 4:30 is gonna be weird enough without waking up to the home page of the Addams Family DVD on my screen so I'll pass on that one.

Last time I remember waking up that early on purpose was back in college. I used to help Oldest Sister with her craft shows and she did some in the Haymarket on the weekends. We would have to be down there by like 6 and usually I stayed over with her but this one time I actually drove and met her there. I woke up at 4:30 in the dorms and walked to the bathroom and one of my hallmates was just getting back and was getting ready for bed. I was jealous.

Not of the fact that she was out that late, but of the fact that she got to go to sleep at that moment in time.

As you've noticed I'm really not a morning person.

So, that being said, it is now 9:00 I'm going to post this, charge my phone and iPod, and find something boring to watch. I've already got my clothes and breakfast laid out. Bag is packed, taking a book along just in case. Think I'm good.

Song of the Day:

I keep singing Royals - that one I posted a couple of days ago by Lorde - and humming it around the library. It's driving me nuts because originally I really didn't like it at all. Now it's grown on me. But I can't post that cause I already did so since tomorrow's drive is going to be country-filled tonight you're gonna get some retro country.

Single White Female - Chely Wright


i do have to laugh when i hear this song. ironic coming from her now.

And I'm out. Legitimate pre-midnight post, holy crap tag in use.

Here are last year's conference notes - I went both days cause I was a GA - and also one from the year before that so you'll understand when I say Glorified Nerd Convention I actually mean Glorified Nerd Convention.

2011 Green Bags and Nametags
2012 Day One - the Full Monica
2012 Day Two - Fake it 'til you make it

NLA 2012 Day Two - Fake it 'til you make it

New life motto from BossLady but it's me through and through.

Fake it 'til you make it, like this morning waking up at 5:30 like I'm some sort of morning person.

Ha!

Pulled that one off.

And seemed all extroverted the entire conference so I'm calling it a victory.

It's amusing cause I'm like that at work too so people think it's my natural state.

Ha!

Right.

But I stayed awake all day on a single cup of coffee which was super impressive cause yesterday I had like three, though yesterday was much longer than today. Instead of a 6AM-9:45PM day like yesterday this morning I didn't leave until 6:30 and got back around 5ish.

I did get my picture taken with Darth Vader - myself, the Library Goddess and another classmate all did a group shot as well. We were loving it. And I took a picture of our Library Director Extraordinaire - aka Boss's Boss's Boss - with the Sheldon Cooper cutout which I will send to our IT department with her permission.

Though I do enjoy going around and taking pictures even if they did glare at me for walking in late and leaving early I did actually sit in on a few sessions today.

This morning I hit up the Google docs presentation with Slim Shady, then headed back to the booth for a couple rounds, and ate like 3 bagels somewhere between when I got there at 7:30 and noon.

Even though I didn't need to be there 'til 8, but I figured if I'd again run into traffic or run out of gas or lose a tire or something. You know, the stuff that happens on really big days when you need everything to go perfectly?

Anyway, so then there was lunch, they're spoiling us with all this good food now I gotta go back to real life. Gonna have to learn how to cook actual real food that's more than microwavable.

The afternoon I went to our Library Director Extraordinaire's presentation on the library's strategic plan for youth services. I figured since she's my boss and I work in youth services it might be a smart idea. I sat by the Authentically Amazing One and Only KB and one of the branch managers from LCL - represent! KB and I took some fun pictures, one of which is on Facebook already and I'll have to upload my stuff later. It was a "you look up i'll look down now make a face" kind of picture that's highly amusing.

Last session of the day was another fun one with Slim Shady - 2012 best young adult novels - lady from the Library Commission presented and I found it amusing cause the majority of her books on screen had LCL barcodes, woohoo!

Sometime before all that I helped the Library Goddess take down our booth stuff and we got to chat a bit. That woman knows everyone, good god. Except ONE PERSON! I got to introduce her to ONE of my colleagues and reveled in the moment when she came up blank. Anyway, I don't know how she got around the building cause people were stopping her every five feet. I think she got more hugs today than the average person gets in their lifetime and that's really a testament to her and how great a person she really is. I'm very grateful to have her to look up to and work with.

I can now say that about a lot more people after today as well. I got to jam out with some really cool people, some who I barely know their names, others who I talk to weekly and we still didn't even realize how much we have in common. But that happens when your classes are long distance and you only see each other once a month for a couple of hours and then go home. Moments like these are very helpful in that respect and you get to be in a room full of fellow nerds, who can ask for more really?

So I came home with my bag full of pens, t-shirts and posters. The thing about booths is that if you go around when everyone is tearing down they stick you with as much crap as they can so they don't have to pack it. So I got like 3 t-shirts today alone and a bunch of posters to hang up around the young adult area plus some sweet bookmarks as well. Oh and the Library Goddess shoved what was left of the candy into my pocket so now I've got like 10 jolly ranchers floating around somewhere as well.

Not sure what I'm going to do with everything. Lately I've been collecting pens - okay this is kind of a long story but I'll shorten it. Remember that I'm a nerd and I write stuff. Well, I attempt to write stuff - not this stuff, the blog doesn't count cause it's crap, did I write that outloud, my bad - anyway, I write stuff so I've started collecting pens and t-shirts, just anything with random designs or names or whatever cause I'll use them for ideas in my stories. Like you know you're blanking and you look at the writing utensil in your hand and see that it's from a funeral home, so you start writing that into your story, you know? Just random crap.

I did tell you I was a nerd.


For the music rec scroll down and listen to yesterday's cause it's still stuck in my head.

I'm out!

NLA 2012 Day One - The Full Monica

2011 NLA Highlights: Green Bags and Nametags

I survived day one of the NLA annual conference.

Left the apartment this morning at 6AM and just got back at 9:45PM.

I didn't have to be there until 8, but thinking there would be traffic and I would get lost I left like an hour earlier than I needed to. After stopping for gas and cash I arrived at like 7:08. So I jammed in the lobby with Queen of the Known Universe and fellow LCLers. There were a lot of us there, I can count at least 12 off the top of my head. Though by the dinner banquet we were down to four.

Showed up with nothing but cereal and a diet dr. pepper and came home with a bag full of free stuff.

What is it about conferences or home and garden shows that turn you into a kleptomaniac? I mean seriously. It's my goal to go to each of the booths and get a pen or ruler or candy or whatever so I came home with this bag full of stuff and went, crap. Now what am I gonna do with it?

Granted the majority of the stuff taking up space in the bag is presents - I got something for mom, dad, the cool aunt and the boyfriend but i'm not done shopping for them yet.

And then of course came the t-shirt that the Library Goddess bought me cause she's awesome and spoils us. It's blue with the Superman logo on the front except instead of a giant S it's a giant L.

Should write in a "SA" after the L so it's a true statement as I am a Library Service Associate and not quite yet a Librarian.

So, our homework assignment from Boss's Boss's Boss is to meet someone, talk to them about what they do and then write about it to her in an email.

I think I've done that like 50 times over. And the thing about working with the Library Goddess is that she's so enthusiastic so if she doesn't know someone she'll go introduce herself and take you along with her. Like today, I met two published authors - Stephanie Bodeen aka S.A. Bodeen who wrote "The Compound" which is a Golden Sower nominee and Mary Downing Hahn - author of about 50 kids books but "Closed for the Season" was also a Golden Sower nominee, guessing the Cool Aunt is super jealous - and about 80 students in the program.

I didn't meet Tom Osborne but I did listen to him speak, and my Trainee met him in the parking lot so that's exciting.

We gave him a standing ovation. We did the a couple of times but he was the only one I actually knew. Which is amusing. People like stood up for this one chick and clapped and I was like, okay I should probably stand and clap. Who's this again?

I did learn a lot as well. As much as it physically pains me to say it, like literally pains me I'm intrigued by BISAC. I mean, I'm Dewey through and through, for serious, I think that the books are already divided up by genre why do they need to do it again with different labels, it would a pain and awful and just something else we'd have to adjust to if we switched over - but listening to a presentation about this library turning just their YA area into BISAC and having its circulation like triple intrigues me cause we don't get a lot of circulation for our nonfiction YA material. Perhaps if we had more signage and separated it out it may get more attention.

Except we don't have a lot of nonfiction for YA so that'd be something to work on first.

I'll keep it in mind. That and an App session were the only two I attended all the way through. The rest of the day I was in the booth or taking pictures of presentations if they were given by staff/students/alum of the Missouri program.

Taking pictures is fun until you get to like the second or third presentation on your list and everyone glares at you cause you're walking in late, then your camera makes noises and then you leave early getting even more glares. Blah.

Now I'll officially have to join NLA. Oh yeah, that's another person I met - the president of NLA, well as of a couple hours ago before she passed on the golden gavel to someone else. But I'll do it online this week after the dues are changed. And I'm a student so I get in for cheaper.

Hung out a lot with both of my bosses aka Superwoman and the Library Goddess. They were having an argument as to who is Boss #1 and who is Boss #2. I told them it was up to them to duke it out. It was fun hanging out with them.

I actually saw about 80 classmates who all know me cause I'm the grad assistant but I'm still learning names so I'm like, "Hey!" *pause to look at name tag* "Did you register for the iTunes giftcard raffle yet?" Thank god for nametags, seriously. My lanyard is purple and pretty but clashes with my yellow Mizzou tag.

New concept to take home from the conference but won't include in my report to the Boss's Boss's Boss:
-"The Full Monica" aka the female version of the Full Monty

Oh, and we all got our pictures taken with a cardboard cutout of Sheldon Cooper which will probably become my profile picture.

Tomorrow I'll get one with Darth Vader.


Clip of the day as recommended by the boyfriend.

Parody of a pretty much already parody.



heyyyyy wealthy ladies...

Moldova sucks.

Okay, super short post for today. Not a lot of highlights, I'm on a roll for volunteers not showing up. Today made 4, but the one in the afternoon made up for it.

Um, looked over the NLA program to see what sections I'll want to go to. Though I don't know how many I'll actually see since I'm in the booth all day with the library goddess. Which should be fun, she's highly amusing.

I'm just not excited to have to leave the apartment at 6AM. But there will be traffic and I think I know where I'm going but I may be way off.

Apparently you can see it from the interstate but we'll see. I told Queen of the Known Universe she'll probably get a 7:58 panic call since I have to be there by 8.

According to mapquest it only takes like 45 minutes but earlier is better in case I get lost and then to find parking. Should have got a room to stay over, I'm not sure how late I'm supposed to say cause there's a lot fun activities going on after the conference.

After work was datenight with the boyfriend and as soon as he texts letting me know he made it back I'm out like a light - this wind is crazy - SO clip of the day:


RED
haven't watched this in a while which is unusual since I used to fall asleep watching it every night.

not cause it was bad, it was just routine.

Okay, he replied so I'm out.

Wow, a legitimate pre-midnight post. Feel like I should come up with a tab like "holy crap". Might just do that.

Not like it'll be used often, maybe 20 times a year.

so come and get it.

Carter is mad at me.

I'm not sure what I did to incur his wrath but he won't shutup.

I wonder what he does while I'm gone.

I know he's always waiting for me meowing at the door when I get home.

I'm sure my neighbors love him.

This is Carter in a nutshell.



no wait, this is carter in a nutshell.

pretty much every night. minus the bat.

You can blame these on my coworker's kid, she was the one to introduce me to them. We jammed out all afternoon - my TAB kids came in and made bookmarks, signs, banners and all that to hang up in the YA area.

She's a great artist so if there was a contest she would have dominated.

The bookmarks were a big hit. Apparently teens are into glitter. Who'd have known. Not sure that I was really that into but that was quite a while ago so maybe I'm blocking out my glitter fascination because it's tied to a specific memory.

I guess this goes on the "Boy, was I wrong" list, right above gauchos but just below the Flashdance phrase.

Haven't quoted Lorelai in a while, must be off my game.

So worked in the morning, jammed with the teens designing some cool looking bookmarks all afternoon. Literally all afternoon they were here 1-5. And then it took forever to take down to poor Info-Man basically had to close by himself.

After work I came back and did homework. Finished my paper due Friday and posted it. It's nice to know I can still pound out a major assignment in just a few hours. So I'm done for the week aside from discussion boards and then this weekend I'll attempt to work on stuff that's due next week but since it's my first weekend off in forever we all know that's not gonna happen.

I just needed to get it all done before conference on Thursday/Friday.

Or should I say nerd convention? More on that later.

I'm shocked but of course the boyfriend is off on vacation so no real plans which means I get to go to the farm. Woohoo! And get my tire pressure sensor fixed! I'm hoping, anyway. I think that thing breaks every few months, this is at least the third time it's happened. Gonna have to start keeping track of which tire it is.

More Voice battles tonight. Mycle and Michelle both survived. I'm starting to like Liz Davis as well, she's pretty good. Shocked by Xtina's steal, was not expecting that. The problem with more singers is that they don't show all of the battles. So like Celica, Michelle and Mycle's weren't aired even though they're great. They just showed the highlight reel and then the coach's pick.

Song of the night:

love 1:23-33 seems so much older than 25. just something about the voice. but it just sounds like she should be on the radio. you know? actual legitimate country voice, awesomeness.

Alright, I'm out for the night. The teens tire me out even though I was just sitting all afternoon drawing. They've got a lot of energy. Yikes.


new favorite


OUT!

Well I ain't first class, but I ain't white trash. I'm wild and a little crazy too...

Duuuuude, did you see that come from behind victory? Burkhead rocked it! 28 unanswered points and it's all because of him, Lavonte David - stole the ball right out of his hands!! - and did I see a little bit of T-Magic make an appearance as well? I'm proud of our Huskers, we are definitely a second half team, way to pull it together for Homecoming weekend.

Time for a new segment I'm going to call: Pics of the Week
And, apparently blogger likes to post pictures in reverse order so we're going to go back in time. Stick with me.

the highlight of the day:

Meet the newest addition to the library family. I shall call him Maximus Awesomess, aka the Spawn of Awesome.
Queen of Awesome had her baby, Max, and while the Queen of Awesome she may be, the Queen of checkers she is not. Not today at least. She got dominated. We'll blame it on the fact that she just had a baby. So that's allowed. I jammed with them for a while this afternoon at the hospital. They're both happy, healthy and hoping to go home tomorrow.

One of the joys of NLA:

note the "free bar" part. us crazy librarians.

Oh, gameday beverages:

Oldest Sister enjoying her chelada through a straw.

Towers jamming:

some patrons have weird senses of humor

My bad:

woops.

Red and blonde, huzzah!

the supreme and uber-fantastic donna, we talked booze cakes and shickley shenanigans while she dyed my hair. thanks donna, you rock!

songs of the day - going old school country.

"She's in Love with the Boy" Trisha Yearwood

classic country. stuck in my head for no apparent reason.

"Some Girls Do" Sawyer Brown

love his dancing.

Green Bags and Nametags

How can I describe the past few days?

I'll simplify it for you in two words.

Mass hysteria.

So, there's this thing called "Grad School". And, there's this other thing that comes along with it called "homework". Usually the homework involves reading something and writing something. This past assignment was a little bigger than that. A lot bigger than that. A demographic study of the patrons in our community. And, since we're a system with numerous locations meaning anyone from anywhere in the county could go to any library, I did a study on the county. Included statistics on age, gender, education, race/ethnicity and financial demographics. Then put it all together in a powerpoint.

And I have to say, I used to hate Microsoft Word 2010. I was not a believer. I was so used to 2003 and 2007 on Kate, that when I installed 2010 on Ziva I completely avoided it like the plague. The shortcuts are different, buttons are in different places, it just looks like a mess, I didn't understand any of the new features, etc. Now? It freaking rocks. Dude, have you checked out any of their graphics or clip art selection? How about the awesome SmartArt that gives you designs and you fill in the information? Plus, with building pie charts and bar graphs comes along Excel and all you have to do is plug in the numbers and it links the documents together. It's fantastic!

I'm now a believer. So, if nothing else comes from this project, at least I'll have that. "We'll always have demographics," I'll say, raising a toast and closing the lid.

I've spent every free moment I've had working on that project for the past three days. And spare moments in the days before that. And now, it's done! And posted as of last night! And I felt like celebrating! And you know how I celebrated that today? I went to a conference!

The NLA conference to be exact. Oh my god, the nerd convention, I freaking loved every minute of it. I freely admit that I'm a nerd. I've learned to just go with it. But being in a place filled with other fellow nerds? We like freaking took over the whole building.

Sessions on Web Reference tools, Digital Humanities, Turning your library around circulation and public-wise, learning about the scholarships available for the MLS program, going to a panel discussion on life during and after MLS. Which is me! And those are just the programs I attended, there were like 6 options for every hour session.

And OH MY GOD, I saw so many freaking classmates it was ridiculous. Granted it is a library convention, but still. Everywhere I went. Frankie, Kathryn, Linnea, Sherm, Angela, plus professors and the Library Goddess who is always ever present in times of library craziness and shenanigans.

Speaking of shenanigans, I wonder how Battledecks is going? Remember how we're nerds? Well, after they opened the bar, tonight's entertainment was basically these people go up and have to present the future of the library on the basis of a powerpoint they've never seen before. They literally have to think on their feet as soon as the slide is shown. Sounds awesome, but again, I'm a nerd.

Even more of a nerd that I came home to crash and burn instead. The demographic study has stolen more than few hours of sleep from me so I don't know how much longer I can be online. I will give you the highlights before I konk out.

There are some seriously funny librarians out there. I know some of you probably think of us as the mean old ladies with the glasses who sh! people and then glare when you don't shut up. But we're not. We're anti-stereotypical librarians. We take over hotels and hit up the bar. Oh my god, the place was crazy!

Let's start with walking into the hotel.
Fearless Leader: "There are gonna be sooo many nerds!"
and then again
FL: "Library swag" was a phrase used repeatedly during the day. i love it. We got these green bags to hold all our free stuff and it was hilarious because they were all green so when everyone left to go to lunch you could tell if they were one of us - even from like blocks away - because they'd have that giant green bag. and nametags. It was like a library cult or something. Green bags and nametags required.

Slim Shady: "I want my foam!" her day just started off bad, she got sausage for breakfast when she didn't want sausage for breakfast and then we were in a presentation and when she tried to take the lid off her coffee it started making these noises. And you know how when you're in a big group and someone's talking so you want to be quiet, and that you open your candy or pop or whatever as quietly as you can so that as few people as possible will notice? she was attempting to pull the lid off one centimeter at a time because she needed that foam.

Presenter: "I can say hola! and that's about it." on her spanish language skills, or lack their of.

Slim Shady: "What did she say?"
Me: "No idea but we should probably clap." what? everyone else was!

Mayor: "And don't forget about the sunken gardens!" well, figured out his favorite place in town. yes the actual mayor made a speech. that's big potatoes man. i've used that phrase so many times i don't remember if that's the actual phrase or if the actual phrase is "small potatoes" and something wasn't small it was infact big so I switched it? or maybe it is "big potatoes" and at one point something wasn't all that big of a deal so I said "small potatoes" instead. which is an actual phrase? i mean, i know they're both phrases, but which one is accredited to more than just me?

Keynote Speaker: "S.L.U.T.S. Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress. We wine a little, we laugh a lot." fantastic.

Keynote Speaker: "If I get a glamour shot at 60 I'll look like Whistler's mother!" she showed a picture of her mom when she talked about SLUTS, saying it was her idea.

Presenter: "And you can share it with the world! And people can use it for things you don't know about." the joy of uploading photos online. but the presentation was awesome - the fact that she's LCL made it even better. we're awesome like that. she gave a lot of good reference databases though, definitely gonna use those at work.

Kathryn: "It's Match.com for librarians!" about their facebook page, which we're supposed to "like" and upload librarian stories. i think it's kind of cool, like a community forum thing.


And here's a bonus from yesterday. "I'm a sweater addict. I admit that freely. She wanted a book on fashion in the 80's. Has it really changed?" I just sat there and laughed.

Alright all, tomorrow is an all-day at one branch day so I'm gonna gonna crash. Hope you have a good night. And if anyone went to Battledecks hit me with some highlights!

Stuck in the Middle With You

Why would anyone put a needle in a stack of hay anyway?

NCIS Season 8 - fantastic! Scale of Awesome says 10/10 and I'm only one disc in - of course I've already seen the whole thing but that's not the point. It's got great storylines - cases that haven't already been used by other crime shows - fantastic characters - Gibbs, Ziva, Kate, Tony, McGee, Abby, Ducky even Palmer everyone of them is unique with their own quirks - even excellent sets - this show is pure awesomeness on air. I highly suggest you check it out Tuesday nights on CBS, or pick up one of the seasons on DVD at the library.


Speaking of the library - had a big day at ours today. There was this big ribbon-cutting ceremony thing with speeches and all that - even a giant pair of scissors. That was sweet.

Today felt super busy even though it was only 9-5. Yes, only. But shelved and boxed up books all morning then had some lunch, huzzah for mint chip ice cream, then got all registered for the NLA conference - aka Nebraska Library Association not the National Limousine Association or the Lawyers Association, Lipid Association,...what other ones did I get when I Googled the page I was trying to find....oh! how about the Nine Lives Association? Real deal.
But I'm going because they're having this session on life during and after the MLS and since that's what I'm getting I thought it would be cool to go and listen to what they have to say. But that's not until like October, so got a while to plan.

Or, how about the National Lime Association?

Another tip I learned today - try going shopping when you really have to go to the bathroom. It'll save you time and money cause all you want to do is grab the essentials and get the heck out of there. I always buy a bunch of junk that I really don't need. Might use that strategy in the future.

Newspaper Licensing Agency. I hate that word licensing. I always spell it wrong. I feel like I'm spelling it wrong now. Maybe I should google that too.

"Stuck in the Middle With You" Stealer's Wheel
Am I the only person my age who knows who Stealer's Wheel is? As fantastic as Michael Buble is, no he did not write this song.
In true 70's fashion you've got the clothes, you've got the booze, you've got the suspicious characters...wait, was that Jesus at 2:06? ... and again at like 2:48? He's the drummer. Hmm....


Next Level Athletics.

"Bad Example" Pistol Annies
It's kind of a "Wreckers" situation when Michelle Branch teams up with backup singer Jessica Harp and they make their own band as a duo, this is Miranda Lambert plus Ashley Monroe who's been kind of a backup singer for profession plus a newbie Angaleen Presley. they're pretty good.

you may have heard of their hit "Hell on Heels" seen here for it's live debut:
carrie underwood, blake shelton, reba mcentire all jamming in the audience

I like "Bad Example" best just cause it's like throwback country mixed with sort of a doo-woop sound from the 50's. I'm diggin' it.

Should probably crash soon although I have a feeling I'm just going to make popcorn and watch more NCIS.

No Longer Available.