But then, you know, there's always drums, and bass, and maybe even one day a tambourine.

So, I don't know what the heck happened this morning, but when I woke up to the steam cleaning dude knocking on my door - 9:30AM - my left leg was asleep and I fell three times on the way to the door.

It's like 10 feet from the couch to the door so it was every freaking step.

I can only imagine as to what he was thinking outside my door cause every time I fell a different expletive came out.

And not quietly.

It explained the amused look on his face when the door swung open.

And Carter was just laying there like what the hell?

Like, by the time I made it to the door I was holding on to it for dear life, then stood against the wall for a while just to make sure I wasn't gonna faceplant in front of him.

The last time that happened to me in the morning - that I can remember, though a lot of my mornings are fuzzy cause I hate mornings - was in high school. And actually it was because I was injured.

So, if you know me or you've read this long enough you've probably heard of the sleeping walking incident.

If not, here's the short version.

Basically, I had this dream that I was crabwalking through a tunnel on a college visit and it turns out I was actually crabwalking down my bed. And the metal bar that I felt by my feet was real. I stepped on an office chair and it flew out from under me so naturally I grabbed the closest object to me to regain my balance, that just happened to be a dresser.

I woke up on the ground - tile floor was especially cold that night - with something really heavy on top of me and I couldn't move. About 10 minutes later, after the panic attacks had stopped - I realized that I had a roommate.

Juwanna thought the screaming was just me having a bad dream. So did I - somewhere between all the flailing and the blacking out - though that changed when she turned the lights on and went "oh my god!"

Then, when I could actually see that the giant object crushing me to the floor was in fact my own dresser, filled with my clothes and covered in my radio and my random crap that was now scattered all over my floor, I was able to realize that no, this was actually happening and it would probably be a wise idea to, in the future, just sleep on the floor of a room with padded walls.

Anyway, my ankle got crushed somewhere between the dresser falling and it being lifted off of me.

Juwanna went to get the dorm-mom, who naturally had to call the Dean - oh yeah, the Dean of the high school - at like 2AM - then she gave me a glass of water and put me back to bed.

I woke up in the morning with her at the base of my bed asking if I could get up.

I took one step and totally face planted - again on the cold tile floor.

That's when she said, "well, guess we should call your parents."
"Crap."

Still haven't heard the end of that one.

Yes, that was the short version.

Granted I don't remove painting from walls like one former coworker but I'm pretty sure that one can top any of your sleep-walking stories.

I lost myself.

Oh right, so yeah, that's the last time I remember having no control of my body and not being able to regain my balance before I fell straight to the ground.

So that made for a fun morning.

The dude was actually very efficient.

And chatty.

So that made the fact that he was cleaning my carpet as I sat on the couch less awkward.

Carter hid out in the kitchen the whole time - he's not so good with loud noises - but the carpet has never looked cleaner.

It took all day for the carpets to dry, watched 10 Things I Hate About You amongst other things, much funnier than I remember. But hysterical cause I was quoting it as it went. Didn't realize I had watched it that many times growing up, but apparently so.

Now everything is back in its place.

Though I'm thinking of asking my parents if they can take my foosball table and store it for me until I have a house and a place to put it.

Cause I can't get rid of it, cause it's like a memorabilia thing, you know? And the third best Christmas present ever.

The first being Maroon 5 tickets from my boyfriend and the second being a signed script from Charmed from Second Sister.

Yes, I am one of those Charmed nerds.

I could be queen of all Charmed nerds can cause I can list episode titles from all 8 seasons and quote from each of them as well.

Speaking of quotes, so my original intention - before all these ramblings - was to go through my box of random crap that I've collected since I moved here that's filled with all sorts of coworker and patrons quotes from the three years that I've worked in the library system.

Yes, as of today, it has officially been three years of working at the work branch - technically it was 3 years in the system as of the 16th cause that's when I started at the home branch, but I already did a big post about the home branch my last day there, so, here's to three years.


Things overheard at the library:

"It takes two to screw up a tango. Or something like that."

"Why would anyone want to eat anything that pink?"

"My sickle's in the car."

"Give me the one with the naked dancing men."

"Don't give me virgins, no!"

"There's so much water around the mosquitoes are gonna be as big as small birds this year!"

"We could call it PITA - Pain In The Ass!"
"Yeah, BYOP - Bring Your Own Painkiller."

"That's my mean look."
"You need practice."

"I left it on a cruise ship."

"She kept constantly murdering people in hopes of meeting Angela Landsbury."

"Do you get paid to sit there and look pretty?....And she's smart too!"

"I would have cussed him out in Russian."


Coworker Moments:

Fearless Leader holding up a copy of Legally Blonde the Musical: "THIS is why I hate musicals!"

Little Shelver Boy: "Can you check out anything in the library?"
Slim Shady: "Yes."
Little Shelver Boy: "Then can I check you out?"
Slim Shady: "Don't you have books to shelve?"

Queen of Awesome: "Trash it and do a happy dance."

Space Cadet: "Screw the fan, you want an e-reader!"

Me: "He went all Hulk and broke in!"
InfoMan: "The lights were still off!"

Me: "I just got an LOL from Superwoman. Brings me back to my MSN Messenger days. 'BRB' I'm not actually going anywhere but neither is this conversation."

Shirley: "You've been naughty so here's the scoop. Your Christmas gift is snowman poop!"

Girlscout: "My orca is gonna attack your porpoise."

Me: "Wicked? It's like the ultimate fan fiction."

Patron: "Hey, I'm trying to get my groove on here."
New Guy: "You're gonna have to get your groove on somewhere else."

Space Cadet: "You deserve like a sticker. or a gold star. or a pizza."
Superwoman: "Oh good grief, she would say pizza."

Space Cadet: "If I yell-"
Me: "I will run."

Superwoman: "It's a psychological thriller."
Slim Shady: "What does that mean in the context of ballerinas?"

Super Librarian Status: "Someone tried to flush a copy of The Economist down the toilet."
Me: "Irony."

Queen of Awesome: "I am envious of your boxes."

Me: "You looked all serious."
Space Cadet: "I am serious, I gotta get rid of this 7Up!"

Me: "You're a fan of Charlie's Angels?"
KPH: "I'm a fan of girls in general."

Me: "Here is my phone number so you can stop calling my mother."
Superwoman: "Maybe we like talking to your mother."

Fearless Leader: "I tried to use p-slip as a verb, p-slipping, don't do it."

Me: "Codeword: Josh."
Slim Shady: "You're good. You're really really good."

Me: "Some dude got bit by a rattlesnake at Walmart."
Library Judge: "Yeah, but it only caused 60% damage."

QotKU: "I don't want to cougar him."

QotKU: "I'll wait for the hot firefighters."

Me: "We should write a book called 'What the hell were we thinking: The Hindsight Bias.' We could have a chapter called 'Relationship Mistakes, Mishaps and Malfunctions."

Cabin Fever: "Tell them you worship snakes. Always works for me."

Darth Scheduler: "A joyous observation on the day of your birth!"
Me: "What?"
Darth Scheduler: "Happy birthday."

Me: "You threw away the plant?"
Koha Queen: "It was dead!"

Me: "Well, in the words of Eric Overmeier..."

KPH: "I'm a sweater addict, I admit that freely. She wanted fashion in the 80's, has that changed?"

Me: "Does the coffee machine in the breakroom work?"
Fearless Leader: "Don't do it!"

Me: "Just say no to vending machine orange juice."

Me: "Justin Bieber wants to know if I like pie. What do I say? Now he's threatening to mug me if I don't answer."

Sensei: "I think this is a lovely start to the book you're going to write. I will be happy to provide color commentary."

InfoMan: "What happens in the library stays in the library."
Girlscout: "Or checks out for three weeks."

Supervisor: "Let's take 'em down!"
Me: "I gotta go upstairs, you're gonna have to 'take 'em down!' with Jeff."

Darth Scheduler: "Arg the pirate caveman."

Slim Shady: "Just say 'ew' and walk away."

Me: "Does that container say 'barf chips'?"
Glee-Loving Boss: "Yes, they are waste pickup deoderizers."

Me: "What are face aerobics?"

Extra
Second Sister: "If he shows up at your apartment do not let him in. Break up with him over the intercom."
Me: "An intercom breakup?"
Second Sister: "Oh yeah, they're all the rage."

Seth Godin: "We need librarians more than we ever did. What we don't need are more clerks who guard dead paper."

Random Notes in bin
$0.25 for slot machine from Supply Queen - quarter spent in Vegas



Wow.

That was a lot.

But it was three years.

Three years of awesomeness.

Here's to three more.

It's only half past twelve, but I don't care...

Today was a long day, 9-6. Not much to say other than I got nicknamed twice. Girlscout called me "Supergirl" in the morning. When I told that to Superwoman she laughed. I said I was Superwoman in training. She sometimes calls me Sidekick so it fits.
Then in the afternoon the New Guy called me the Queen of the Back Room. Which I am. It's kind of my lair. I spend a lot of my time scheduled there. Either because I'm one of the few people who can get through five carts in an hour or because they're tired of me being out front. Hmm...

So there was that. And Mom stopped by. Brought me CDs and picked one up for herself.

I found that there's a talk to text function on my phone so I can speak and it'll type what I say. Or what it thinks I'm saying. I attempted the "I am grief stricken" conversation again and it came up with "I am a great sturgeon" then "I am a green dragon" and finally got it right a few tries later.

Also, saw this today while watching The Grinch and had to post it.

so funny.

As we're up to I in the alphabet and there are far too many good ones I'll skip to that and ramble some more.

"I Drove All Night" Celine Dion

i enjoy her random pointing and air guitar moments.
although cyndi lauper actually legitimately rocks this song, (how many times can you say that?) I'm still posting this version because it's the version I head-banged to in high school so I could stay awake and finish my homework. sh, don't tell the dorm moms. but it made juwanna laugh. and that's what you want in a roommate.

well, that and one that will save you from demon furniture.
go here: My Life in Closed Captions: "Well, this is awkward."

granted i don't remove paintings from walls like some people but seriously, if you can top being attacked by a dresser while sleepwalking please let me know. there's more to the story if you're interested. tons in fact. made the school paper. which i was the editor of at the time, so that was fun.


"I Run To You" Lady Antebellum

this world keeps spinning faster to a new disaster
this was a college fascination. it was my favorite song for about two weeks. and then i was sick of it already. i haven't listened to it since, but it's good to jam to it again now.


"I Say A Little Prayer For You" My Best Friend's Wedding

who does her hair?!
how can you top this? seriously? i'm tempted to break out into song at the library but refrain because i enjoy my job. and my point level of 140. even though i'm stuck there and she won't give me any more. making me actually work for my points, geez. what a mean boss. what kind of lesson is that supposed to teach me? really?


"I Want You To Want Me" Cheap Trick

because i love them. i saw 10 Things I Hate About You and was doomed from then on.


"Istanbul" They Might Be Giants

Superhumann used this song as an educational tool to get us interested in world history in high school. it worked for me, not so much for the others. but that was true for me in a lot of her classes. that chick got me through high school. period. wasn't for her i dunno where i'd be today. definitely not where i am now.
high school english. i wanted to teach it because of her. then i got in the ed program and went, eh. too many hoops to jump through.
so i switched to behavioral sciences - yeah, less hoops to jump through there. but then the idea of being a social worker became completely depressing so i went back to english. which is helpful as it's where i am today.
anyway, this song has stuck with me over the years, because not only did we have to listen to it for world history, i also had to sing it onstage for one act junior year. in front of actual people. i played the token girlfriend - stereotyped that way, shutup sketch - and i got to jam on stage with my headphones. so, when the time came around that i would have to figure out what song i was actually going to sing and jam out to i went back to the old faithful director, who just happened to be superhumann, and we decided on this one. i still karaoke it with her to this day.
she's taught me a lot over the years. i still have her safety net in my wallet. high school was kind of a hard time in life for me. it was a dorm school and i was a very homesick kid - at first, it was okay in the end - but stress and school and being away from home got to me but she was there if i needed to talk. when i was having a particularly rough day she wrote me a note - 5 pages front and back - and i carried it around in my back pocket for years until it got almost torn to shreds. now it is safely tucked into my wallet which i carry with me every day.
another thing i got from her - which actually, she got from my uncle as he was once her teacher way way back, - is the saying...okay give me a second, i don't want to butcher it.

Say One Thing
Mean Another
Write A Third
Expect A Fourth
If It's Simple, Complicate It
It It's Complicated Draw A Picture
If It's On The Test Don't Talk About It

oh my god. just oh my god.

i'm still dying. yeah. those are the kind of guys that i hung out with in high school, so it's not hard to imagine them doing that. actually, pretty sure i've seen them do something similar but it was to the bohemian rhapsody.

"It's Five O'Clock Somewhere" Alan Jackson feat. Jimmy Buffet

love it. i sing it in my head often because it makes me laugh. brightens up the day.

Alright, that's enough I-Recs for the night. Off to sleep. Stoked to sleep in. Don't have to go in until 6 and then it's Home Library for two hours before I'm off all day Wednesday, woohoo!

changing every day, every possible way

"Booze Cakes...sounds like a term of endearment. Hey Booze Cakes."
"That's fantastic."
the joys of training new employees.

Today was mostly filled with paperwork. But I got to spend the majority of it with Girlscout so it was fun. We're Team Awesome.

Joys of professionalism - Wrote up a summary on what you need to know to work at one of the branches since a lot of our people are gone so others are filling in. The summary turned out to be 3 pages. And I keep adding more and more.

After that it was e-mails and scheduling.

And then I ended the day with the joy that is incident and citizen injury reports. But hey, at least I got to check out the cute fire and rescue guys.

"Why are you listening to the serpant?.....Don't eat the fruit....Don't eat the fruit!....Women."

Got 3rd Rock From the Sun season one from Target for like 6 bucks. Loving it. Now I have to find season two. Wonder if the library has it. Or WorldCat. I love WorldCat.

"I'm not mooning, I'm obsessing, there's a difference."

Tomorrow is a day for sleeping. And running errands. And then sleeping some more. Unless of course I get called in. Which would be fine. I don't think I know what to do with myself outside of work nowadays anyway.

"I have class in five minutes. And that's just the first of my reservations."
oh speaking of, I should check the syllabus and figure out if I'm missing something for class on Saturday.

Songs of the night:

"Dreams" The Cranberries

used to listen to them a lot in high school. probably drove juwanna nuts. the joy of roommates at a dorm school. but she did save me from the killer dresser so i love her.

Think this is my favorite though....
"Just My Imagination"

I think Shannen looked a little more coordinated on Dancing With the Stars.
P3 got all the coolest acts at the time - The Cranberries, Michelle Branch, Barenaked Ladies, Goo Goo Dolls, Fastball. Yes, I'm a Charmed nerd, get used to it. It's either this or Drew Barrymore really. I can always throw in a Friends reference if it would make you feel better.

"I fold like a cheap hooker who got slapped in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face...oh, I'm out." The one with all the poker. Love that episode. Yes I know it's title. It's not like it's that hard of one to remember.

"Your money's mine, Green!"
"Your fly's open, Gellar!"

OUT!

"Well, this is awkward."

I say as I'm up to bat against the pitcher for the team I've been sub-ing for the past two weeks. He laughed. It became even more awkward when I caught his fly ball to left center and got him out. But I enjoy their pastor, he's quite humorous.

We didn't really keep score tonight - I mean, someone kept it, and at one point we were up by 12, but when asked if they wanted to keep playing they were all over it.

"Yeah, let's start over. Carrie and Nicole come play with us!" It was just really funny. "Where's your loyalty?" "Umm, with our team?" It's always fun playing with them and getting to know them more. Last year we sub-ed for them as well for a game and they actually won that game so it rocked.

And, okay, what the crap? I don't think I've iced this leg this much since I smashed my foot under a dresser. Long story. Just don't sleepwalk when there's an office chair at the base of your bed. It was scar your roommate for life.
"Josie!!" "...what?.." "Help!" *turns on light* "OH MY GOD!" yeah, she thought I was having a bad dream. So did I. Somewhere between all the flailing and the passing out. Then, when I could actually see that the giant object crushing me to the floor was in fact my own dresser, filled with my clothes and covered in my radio and my random crap that was now scattered all over my floor, I was able to realize that no, this was actually happening and it would probably be a wise idea to, in the future, just sleep on the floor of a room with padded walls.

Where was I? Oh right, this freaking leg hurts like an expletive! They're like "You're supposed to run through first!" and I'm like "Yeah, I would if I could freaking run there!" Dude! Massive pain in the upper leg. And! AND! I've got the curse!

See, my sister-in-law kept getting the third out. Over and over. Like everything she hit would be caught or she'd get thrown out and then the next game that started happening to Megan and suddenly, my sister-in-law was fine. And got on base. Then, Megan passed it back to her last week. And now! NOW! I've freakin' caught it! But it happens pretty much every year, the three of us pass it back and forth. I think Pastor's wife caught it a little last year as well. But she was pregnant at the time so she had an excuse. I'm just in pain. But I didn't use that as an excuse cause I'm an idiot and kept playing. I did catch a pop fly though. But dude, every freaking hit. I scored once and that's only because I got walked. Geez.

Hopefully next week it'll be better. If Superwoman will let me play. I might have to cover for people. Which is okay, as I'm used to covering for people. But it would be nice to be able to play since it's basically my only non-work-related thing in my life at the moment. Other than going to watch Squirt and Bubby play today. Squirt won, Bubby lost, but they both did very well.

And, Oh man, Methodists took out Prince of Peace. Totally dominated. Granted Steider wasn't there, but still, their 5 year undefeatedness is gone. So I think they might actually stick around for the extended season. Battle of the Lutherans, take two. It's gonna be on like donkey kong.

I'll keep you posted. I'm gonna go ice my leg some more before I crash and burn. Literally. Feel like I'm going to fall over. Work tomorrow is going to be fun.

Song of the night: totally jammed to this on my way back tonight.

"Do you believe in love" Huey Lewis and The News

am i the only one that's creeped out by this video? mullet-central. niiiice.


OUT!

Library + Science experiments = Hootie Hoo

Remember how much I love my job? Well, today, I got overtime. My boss called in sick so, instead of staying until 12, I got to stay until 6. But I love it so it's not a problem. I really need a life outside of work. But it was a good day. Got to finish the lost in transit list which I still think would be an awesome band name. "Please welcome to the stage Lost in Transit!" and the crowd goes wild. Maybe I'll use that one in the future. Oh, maybe with someone from work. I've already got Delayed...Reaction and The Teacher and the Part-time Librarian. Hmmm... oh the places we could go.
Anyway, today was fun. I joke around a lot with my boss boss aka Superwoman. I have a 116 on her grading system so my coworker - aka Space Cadet oh yeah, her and me all day again - says that I deserve some kind of award for having over 100 percent. She says I should get a sticker. Or a gold star. Or a pizza. So I wrote that to Superwoman who replied, "Oh good grief, she would say pizza." Space Cadet and I are really debating on ordering pizzas every Tuesday night. We think it would be fun. Anyway, Space Cadet found me a gold star and I put it on my nametag. Superwoman says my prize is a snowflake sticker "compliments" of her, aka the ones on the desk we give out to kids that she didn't even know existed until she showed up this morning and said, "wow, cool snowflake stickers!" Compliments, HA!
In other news, I learned a little about science today as I had my own personal science experiment. Unknowingly of course. Those are always the best kind. And I think you learn the most from them. Like oh, maybe I shouldn't have my phone in my pocket when I'm about to get pushed into the pool. Or, Yes, books on CD do actually fall over like dominos if you run into the shelf they're on. "Oh gravity, thou art a heartless bitch" (Sheldon, Big Bang Theory). And you will have to pick each individual one up and arrange them all over again. Or how about, Wow, having an office chair at the base of your bed is probably a bad idea if you're prone to sleep-walking. Learned that one the hard way. We'll get there, I promise. If you have any sleep-walking stories bring them on. I'll tear them all to the ground with mine.
Today was just kind of a rude awakening. I put pop in my coffee thermos (after my coffee was gone and I still needed caffeine) and closed the lid. Then, later on, tried to push the button down to open the thing and it wouldn't budge. Since that didn't work I twisted the cap and got sprayed - SPRAYED - with Dr. Pepper. Carbination 101: Never underestimate the effect it will have on your clothing when you're sprayed with it. Then, THEN, later, I pushed the button again because apparently once wasn't enough and got sprayed in the face. Like literally in the face. It was like a rush of water directed at my eyes. Fantastic. But, it did the trick. I was awake for the rest of the day.
I've never worked there after school is released on a Friday. Like I've been at the bigger branch but not this one. We got overloaded with kids and people wanting to get on the internet. This little girl told me "see ya later alligator" so of course I gave the standard crocodile reply. Which I don't think I've said in like years. Years. And all the teenagers smiled at me. Well looked up from their ipods and notebooks long enough for me to notice anyway. And some really cute little kid made me origami frogs. His brother comes in once every couple weeks and we talk Hunger Games, Manga, school stuff, he's a good kid. But I've never met the little brother. He made me and Space Cadet frogs that actually hop. They're cute.
After drinking the rest of my coffee-flavored Dr. Pepper - it was disgusting but caffeinated - we closed up shop. The last patron who came in's last words were "hootie hoo" and they just kind of stuck with me. Another phrase I haven't heard in a while.
And with that I'm out. Exhausted. Tomorrow is work plus a tour of the grad school building - how to get there, where to park, etc. - with my cool aunt. There will be much rejoicing. And it will please my mother. So that's that. Then I might go to the farmhouse for my nephew's birthday party Sunday, depending on the weather. If not, I'll just spend the rest of the weekend holed up watching Warehouse 13, Murder She Wrote and the Nanny. Gotta get through them so I can get them back. Or at least that's my excuse.
Have a good weekend.