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Showing posts with label janice dickinson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label janice dickinson. Show all posts

Thursday, December 25, 2014

And a beer in a tree.

Merry Christmas Ya'll!


Christmas Music That Doesn't Suck 2014 Edition: Day Twelve


Alright, you all knew it was coming. My favorite Christmas song on my favorite Christmas day.

Cause it's Christmas day.

Yeah.

Anyway, it seems like every year I just keep adding versions so, without further ado...

Here is this year's new version, along with all the others....

Bob and Doug McKenzie


That's right it's Strange Brew! Well, sort of. And I love it, I've been jamming to it since October. The video is a bit distracting, but it works.


On to the others:

Straight No Chaser's Mashup



Jeff Foxworthy Redneck 12 Days of Christmas



BoyMongoose Indian 12 Days of Christmas



The Voice's 12 Days of Christmas


that is still a valid turtledove question blake.


and of course my favorite of all time.....

Janice Dickinson's 12 Days of Christmas


I especially love 1:02 and 1:13. No, I never watched the show but I still love her.

As the list just continues to grow I'm sure there will be more next year. Though I don't have any more space in my version. It draws from all of them and it's the one I sing on Christmas day. I'm happy with my version.

It goes like this:

12 Boyfriends Begging
11 Charges pending
10 Minute yoga
9 Years probation
8 Table Dancers
7-11 Workers
6 Cans of Spam
5 Mother F*cking Ugly Men
4 Italian Suits
3 Former Husbands
2 Giant Breasts
and a totally insufficient dowry.



2011 Day Twelve - And a totally insufficient dowry.
2012 Day Twelve - Four Italian Suits, Three Former Husbands
2013 Day Twelve - Twelve...monkeys working...what is it?

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Twelve...monkeys working...what is it?

My apartment is in shambles cause the exterminator is coming tomorrow so my furniture is all away from the walls.

I have spiders.

I hate spiders.

I know they're supposed to be good cause they eat stuff but I'd rather not have them anyway.

But I won't dwell on that. Today was Christmas and it was excellent.

Presents with Mom and Dad in the morning. Got a lot of good stuff but my favorites were a waffle iron and a coffee maker.

I know, I think she's trying to get me to wake up early.

Then it was off to the boyfriend's extended family Christmas.

Which was more like we ate and then we watched SNL and Undercover Boss.

After that we headed out to the farm where we watched Mannheim's Christmas concert and Duck Dynasty.

"Better to have a day's worth of fish than a lifetime's worth of crabs. Instead of happy happy happy you'll be crabby, crabby, crabby."

Solid advice.

And that was my day. All in all an excellent Christmas.

Except if I get sick.

I'm hoping I don't get sick. Both his sister and sister-in-law got the flu.

It's making me paranoid cause I feel off, but that could just be because my apartment is in shambles.

On to the music.

Last one - Christmas Music that Doesn't Suck: Day Twelve

Straight No Chaser 12 Days Mashup



Jeff Foxworthy Redneck 12 Days of Christmas



BoyMongoose Indian 12 Days of Christmas



The Voice's 12 Days of Christmas


what's a partridge?

that is a valid turtledove question blake.

and of course my favorite

Janice Dickinson's 12 Days of Christmas


i love especially 1:02 and 1:13.

yes this list continues to grow, and i'm sure i'll find more to add next year.

the problem with this though is that when i sing it it's a mix and comes out more like:

12 Pack of Bud
11 Charges pending
10 Minute yoga
9 Years probation
8 Table Dancers
7-11 Workers
6 Cans of Spam
5 Mother F*cking Ugly Men
4 Italian Suits
3 Former Husbands
2 Giant Breasts
and a totally insufficient dowry.

eh, i like my version better.

2011 Day Twelve - And a totally insufficient dowry.
2012 Day Twelve - Four Italian Suits, Three Former Husbands

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

four italian suits, three former husbands...

Ah Christmas 2012.

An interesting adventure.

As previously mentioned I spent Christmas Eve with the boyfriend's family. Christmas Day I spent with his extended family.

But this was after our traditional Mom, Dad and myself Christmas. In which we got a bunch of snacks and random stuff.

Like ice melt.

And a furby.

It's purple and pretty and Carter will hate it.

I splurged on mom this year. Which she will realize after New Years but she says her favorite present was this massive book of sudoku's.

Is is sudoku or suduko?

I say suduko but I think it's actually supposed to be sudoku.

Oh well.

Anyway, so I got a lot for her and I got dad some music DVD's cause the ones he has he watches repeatedly and then makes other people watch them with him.

Meaning if he likes the Johnny Cash one I gave him or the other one he'll open next week it'll be my own fault.

Which I can't say about Moonshiners.

Swamp People perhaps, but not Moonshiners.

Never Moonshiners.

Run if you hear the word "Moonshiners".

Mom and I attempted but didn't get far.

Yet another one of his boondock reality shows.

I should keep a tally.

First there was Swamp People, then Big Shrimping, now there's Ax Men and Duck Dynasty...

I'm sure by the time I come home this weekend there will be more.

Anyway, so there were some small gifts and a VACUUM, woohoo! - shutup, it was on my list - and some spiced tea and then they were off to church and I was off to the boyfriend's to head out to see the extended family.

Every year they do something similar to ours where all the extended family gets together, eats a lot of food, does a gift exchange and then play cards.

It was an interesting adventure. He has even more family than me which is saying something cause I've got 20 cousins on one side and 11 on the other. But both of his parents have 7 siblings so at this one gathering there were 44 people all together in a room.

And of course the second I walk through the door everyone stops talking and goes, ummm.... introductions?

So I'm his girlfriend.

Which I'm aware of.

But it's nice to hear every once in a while.

He said some names but there are a lot of them and really we just jammed with his brother and sister-in-law.

Whom I love, they're fantastic. His sister and future brother-in-law were with the B-I-L's family, otherwise we would have jammed with them as well.

I was nervous but it wasn't that bad. I walked away with a bottle of Rumchata and he ended up with a cooler filled with redneck beer.

Courtesy of his brother.

We didn't stay for the cards. Our original plan was to head back to the farmhouse for a while to see my parents and then go see Les Mis at 10 but ended up crashing instead.

Not the car.

Crashing from exhaustion.

We did make it to the farm cause I had to get my stuff. Dad forced some reality TV on him and we took a tour of the shop - he has a building in his building.

He's painting a building in his building.

Cause the shop is heated.

He's cannibalizing an old building. They moved it from my brother's place - aka my grandpa's old place - to Dad's shop to be painted and then moved to yet another location.

I'm guessing behind the quonset.

Anyway, after the TV and the tour we packed up my stuff and headed back to the apartment to drop stuff off and the thoughts of Les Mis disappeared and we konked out instead.

Since I had to work this morning and left at 8 he slept in and brought me my keys around noon.

I know, now he's been in both the home branch and the work branch.

Shocking.

Queen of Awesome has met him twice and I'm gonna get so much crap tomorrow from Queen of the Known Universe cause she wasn't around when he came in.

But neither was Slim Shady.

She's ditching me.

I can say that now as it is official.

Which is a total bummer.

First Fearless Leader now Slim Shady.

What's going on with the youth of the library?

Who's next, the New Guy?

Even the chick that got hired the same day I did quit. And we were like the same age.

Anyway, I'm bummed but it's bittersweet for her.

It was nice to see the new AD in action today taking tours and all that. She was my professor I bonded with this semester joking about Koha and all that. The one that let us out early every session?

Anyway hired by the Library Goddess is awesome.

I say as she is my boss.

See how that works?

Anyway, she's great and she'll do great things as AD.

There was a lot going on today since we were closed for two days.

Some interesting stuff but mostly just a single incident was interesting.

An interesting encounter with a patron who claimed I said she could do stuff when I said she wasn't in fact allowed to do so and thankfully I had people there as witnesses, it was a mess.

But whatever, it's over.

The rest of the day flew by. Literally I looked at the clock and it was 5PM.

I think I got about 15 calls in an hour to renew books.

That was fun.

And I stopped by the home branch after work at the work branch cause I checked out a DVD at the home branch when I was there and then proceeded to leave it there.

Woops.

Game of Thrones.

Checking it out previously but never got around to watching it.

Will make more of an effort this time around.

And then after that Oldest Sister talked me into downloading Snapchat.

Which is like text messaging except it's with pictures.

She and Squirt were having far too much fun with it.

But I don't take pictures of myself, I mostly take stuff of stuff around me and since Carter is at the farmhouse - I know I'm super sad he's not here to sleep on my stomach but he likes the farm - it's Richard Castle or random stuff I write down.

Speaking of Castle, I read over last year's Day 12, interestingly enough Mom and I watched Castle again this year. Though last year it was season three, this year it was season four.

Alright, that's enough rambling. On to day 12 of the 12 days of non-sucking Christmas music.

Christmas Music that Doesn't Suck: Day Twelve

So I'm breaking all of my rules about consecutive postings and giving you the exact songs from last year because they're my favorites.

And get used to it cause you'll get the same next year.

If you were around last year it's no surprise that day twelve is The Twelve Days of Christmas.

It's the only song I can say is my favorite even though I hate the original.

Literally, if it weren't for Relient K I wouldn't be able to tell you the actual items given to me by my true love.

Cause I grew up on parodies.

So, here are my favorite parodies along with the Relient K cover.

Indian 12 Days of Christmas by boymongoose

and a totally insufficient dowry

Mashup version by Straight No Chaser

thanks Sensei.

Redneck Christmas by Jeff Foxworthy

classic

Rock version by Relient K

this one plays on my ipod no matter the season

and my personal favorite

Janice Dickinson's modeling version

yep, 1:02 is still my favorite. followed closely by 1:13

The problem with multiple parodies is that whenever I hear an actual version I'll sing a mix of the parodies that goes a little something like this.

12 Pack of Bud
11 Charges pending
10 Minute yoga
9 Years probation
8 Table Dancers
7-11 Workers
6 Cans of Spam
5 Flannel Shirts
4 Italian Suits
3 Former Husbands
2 Giant Breasts
and a totally insufficient dowry.


For last year's day twelve go here: And a totally insufficient dowry. 

I do have one more Christmas song to post but I'm saving it for after our family Christmas on the 1st.

Alright, that's enough out of me.

Hope you all had an awesome holiday.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

and a totally insufficient dowry

Alright, the episode count is on.

Mom and I are watching Castle Season Three. How many episodes until she falls asleep in her chair?

So, apparently there's a gang war going on at the farmhouse.

Between the North and the South Cats.

Aka the ones that stay on the North Side of the house on the deck and the South Side ones that sleep in the window wells in the front.

The North Side ones are more vicious so Mom gave the leftovers to the South Side ones. "Here South Cats! Here South Cats!" Gotta give them something, Carter is probably staring them down at the moment - the window wells look straight into the basement where he's living it up.

He was good today, didn't chew on the Christmas trees at all. I was proud. Yeah, why do cats decide to chew on green things? They just throw them up later! I don't get it.

Alright, we're on the second episode and she's still doing sudoku's.

Oh, might have spoke too soon. No wait, she moved. Back to sodoku's.

It was an excellent Christmas. Opened some presents, went to church, ate some good food, played some pitch, watched some more Red Green, took a nap, ate some more good food, now Mom and I are watching Castle.

"And now it's back with a vengeance, course it brought along its friends high maintenance and shopaholic." I love Castle.

Alright, it's that time. Made it down to the last day which means it's time for the best Christmas song of all time.

Christmas Music that Doesn't Suck: Day Twelve

The Twelve Days of Christmas

and since it's the best song ever I'll give you my favorite versions.

Indian 12 Days of Christmas by boymongoose

and a totally insufficient dowry

Mashup version by Straight No Chaser

I blame this new found fascination on Sensei. Thanks for that by the way.

Rock version by Relient K

I jam to this often no matter the season

Redneck Christmas by Jeff Foxworthy

classic

and my personal favorite

Janice Dickinson's modeling version

choose this one, seriously it's fantastic. i love 1:03. that's my favorite.

Okay, but see, the problem with listening to this many versions is trying to remember the actual words.

Whenever I attempt to sing it it comes out a little like this.

12 Pack of Bud
11 Charges pending
10 Minute yoga
9 Years probation
8 Table Dancers
7-11 Workers
6 Cans of Spam
5 Flannel Shirts
4 Italian Suits
3 Former Husbands
2 Giant Breasts
and a totally insufficient dowry.

So now the question is...what is a partridge in a pear tree? And why would you want one?

Also how exactly do an ox and lamb keep time?

Aaannd she's out. Beginning of episode three.

Which means I should go too. Hope you had a good Christmas.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Christmas Came Indeed!

Even though I didn't watch the Grinch - will have to tomorrow - or listen to any Doris Day - left cd at apartment - or watch Home Alone - watched old dvr'd xmas episodes of favorite shows instead, Christmas did indeed come.
My great aunt came out after church and we played some pitch and watched the parade, (hooray for Amber Riley!!) Dad and I won 3 games out of 4. After she left we opened presents, ate more food, mom and dad danced to Squeezebox - long story - then we laid around and watched tv. Well, I laid around and watched, Mom fell asleep in her chair as usual, and I'm sure Dad watched football or something in the other room. We're very social. The presents were fun, Dad was excited about his The Who cd which he put in immediately and Mom liked all her stuff from me - asti, earrings and bath n body stuff. Some of my highlights were pajama pants, a sweatshirt with headphones in it as the strings, fancy vodka with shot glasses (my aunt picked out. mom was like "how does kathy know you collect shot glasses?" Cause I got one in Kansas when we went to the last Husker game down there. Mom thinks it's bizarre that I collect them but I got it from my brother - he does it too.) and wine in a bottle shaped like a cat. Seriously. It's awesome. I'm going to have to upload a picture.
All-in-all it was a good day.

Xmas episodes I've watched this weekend - NCIS, The Closer, Bones, How I Met Your Mother, Glee, NCIS Los Angeles
Wow, I totally need a life. But it's Christmas. I'm entitled to be lazy, right?
I'm actually kind of sad that it's over. It always feels so weird, that you wait so long for it to come and in like 24 hours it's over. Oh well, technically ours isn't over since our family xmas isn't until New Years. Since all my siblings have in-laws and lives and stuff it was the only free day. This means I get to go back to work this week and buy more stuff, woohoo!
I'm still missing something for my sister. And I think I'm gonna go find more for mom since we're getting her one big thing - which she'll love - but I dunno how much other things they're getting her. And I gave her all my other stuff today.
I'm not allowed to buy my niece anything more - or so my sister says. I've spent far too much on her, but honestly I spoil her. It's true. She's the oldest and she thinks I'm the cool aunt and she's funny. So's my nephew. They're both really funny. But she takes after me with the writing and the one-liners she's stolen from me and the red highlights - her mother hates me for that last one. I hope she doesn't inherit my talent for procrastination. And she's taller than me already. I honestly can't stand next to her anymore.

I mentioned last time that I love the songs. That's one of my favorite parts of Christmas, right after crazy moments with family. My all-time favorite xmas song is Oh Holy Night - well, depending on who's singing it. Christina Aguilara's version isn't my favorite, Lea Michelle did it justice on the Glee xmas cd. Another gift from mom. But my second favorite is the 12 Days of Christmas. Relient K has a great version but no matter which version I listen to the only ones I end up singing over the actual lyrics are Jeff Foxworthy's or Janice Dickinson's. Weird combination, huh? Especially when it ends up as something like "5 Flannel Shirts, 4 Italian Suits, 3 Former Husbands, 2 Giant Breasts and some parts to a Mustang GT."

Since it's officially Christmas I'll share my favorites.
Number one xmas video on my list is of course Janice Dickinson's. I die every time I watch it. It's highly inappropriate but it's sooo funny.


I love 1:03 I literally fall over laughing at that part and 1:13...and 2:12...too funny.

Second is Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Xmas which you can find here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJOe3CXE-mA
Is it just me or does the Mustang GT part recipient look suspiciously like Jim Carrey?

And a close third is the Indian 12 Days of Christmas. Very funny. And catchy...

Love the look on the wife's face.


Peace on earth.