Maybe I'll break hearts and be as fast as you.

I'm back.

So....Easter.

I was bit of a Debbie Downer.

Actually that's an understatement.

And over-used, let's try Pessimistic Patty.

Melancholy Melissa.

Somber Sandra.

Bereaved Brenda.

Dismal Denise.

I could do this all day.

Weepy Wendy. Oo, I like that.

I was a bit of a Weepy Wendy - scratch that - I was a lot of a Weepy Wendy.

Which, apparently, isn't very festive.

Especially when surrounded by family.

I've lost all self-confidence.

Usually I'm good with the fake it 'til you make it - especially at work, but I had no energy so it didn't work out so well.

I don't even know what happened, but for like the last few months I'm just not me.

No faith in my abilities whatsoever, gave up writing, stopped hanging out and corresponding with friends outside of the boyfriend and work - just not me.

Coincidentally the start of all that happened about the same time I gave up the blog.

Well, not gave up, but let go. I went from posting every day to posting twice a month and now look at me.

Must have some correlation so, as a step toward more self-confidence, the blog is back.

Probably not full-force posting every night, but every few nights would be good.

Though it also coincided with me giving up pop so perhaps that's a factor as well.

Eh, we'll go with the blog. I miss the blog.

It's a step.

That aside, Easter was excellent.

Church was good - I did actually break out into laughter in the middle of the sermon because I was all Weepy Wendy and I look down at the bulletin and right on the cover in big capital letters it says "WHY ARE YOU CRYING?"

Hmmm...it's like he knew.

Anyway, excellent food, fun with family, enjoyed the mad storm that took place the second my dad yelled "go!" so the kids could find the eggs.

It was ridiculous, we were playing baseball all afternoon and it was perfect out. Then we decide to the do the egg hunt and suddenly WOOSH major wind. And then the second they find all the eggs it starts to rain.

So I guess it could have been worse.

I got my token snickers bar.

King size.

And a cadbury.

So I was good.

That's part of hiding the eggs, you know where to find all the good stuff so you know exactly where to head when he yells go.

We used to hide all the good stuff in the mailbox but we were confined to the backyard while the frontyard was being hijacked by all the baseball.

But it worked. Same as every year by the end we were just walking and dropping eggs on the ground cause we ran out of spaces to put them.

That's the joy of my family - far too much candy. Didn't really matter though, with all that wind everything ended up on the ground anyway.

And speaking of the ground - I mowed the day before and you know how like, when you mow or you're driving or whatever you kind of zone out and go into your own world? I'm like jamming in my headphones, trying not to be Weepy Wendy and all the sudden the ground starts moving ahead of me and I look and there were like freakin' six snakes in front of me.

Needless to say I screamed a bit.

And then ran over them a few times just to make sure they were dead.

Second Sister said she would have paid to see that footage.

Thanks for the moral support.

But it worked, I didn't see any at all on Easter.

After all the family fun I stopped by to see the boyfriend who's prepping the motorcar for our trip.

Did I mention we're going motorcar-ing again?

If you have no idea what I'm talking about - which most of you won't and don't feel bad because 2 and a half years ago I would have been right there with you - go here: Nothing says romance quite like riding motorcars in Iowa.

Yes, we ride in them on the railroad tracks. No, we won't get run over by trains - they book the tracks ahead of time.

And it's like a big thing now. They're basically retro railroad inspection cars which the railroad crew would ride in when they needed to go and fix the trains. Now they've been replaced by those pickups with the rail wheels, but there are still plenty of these around hiding in garages and all that.

So much so in fact that railroads host these organized runs all over the place and people line up to ride theirs down the tracks.

My boyfriend being one of them.

Me, being the supportive girlfriend that I am, decided to go with him on one last year. And...it actually wasn't that bad.

Not something I'd do every weekend like he would if he got the chance, but every once in a while would be fun.

Hey, it's not like trains are an unfamiliar concept to me. Did you see the house I grew up in or the model train layouts that my dad used to drive everywhere?

Anyway, we're headed back to Iowa soon to the same tracks. I'll attempt to take new pictures.

What else?

Oh, we finally finished the Matrix Trilogy.



Scale of Awesome puts this one at around a 7/10. Good, but not as good as the first of the series. And the ending made me sad.

What else?

Well, there's today.

I decided that today was gonna be rockstar awesome and it actually turned out to be.

Started off with a call from the doc. I got my blood tested last week and passed with flying colors.

Apparently she's jealous of my cholesterol levels....which is something to cheer about I guess?

Also I talked to Superwoman today about something I had proposed in the past....and shot myself in the foot.

But in a good way. I think.

The Library Director - aka my boss's boss's boss - gave a presentation and she had these handouts that talked about branch statistics.

Apparently the average age of our branch is 26.

aka Me.

And I think it's weird that we don't offer any programming for anyone of that age demographic.

I mean, we do have adult programs but the attendance is usually of the much older variety.

I tied that statement in with the fact that a bunch of teens are about to age out of TAB and want me to lead some sort of college-aged advisory board (but you can't call it that because then you're leaving out a key demographic so we're still working on a name).

The only problem is that if we did something of that sort it would be aimed more at the 18-24 demographic.

So, Superwoman assigned me the joyful task of coming up with not one but two different program proposals.

One for 18-24, the other for 25-30.

But, I got to pick my team the first time I asked about the TAB extension and I asked if they would be interested in helping again and they were all for it. Plus I added a new member - KT.

The thing about writing proposals is you have to pace yourself because if you use all your good stuff up in the first one, you're screwed in the second one.

Which is why I'm grateful I have a team.

Sent draft proposals to them, hopefully they'll get a chance to look over them soon after which I'll forward them to Superwoman and then hopefully in the fall we can start.

But, nothings a done deal yet. However, I am passionate about both of these projects and I intend on following through.

And that was today.

Well, that and The Voice.

Tuesday = Elimination Night

Lost one of my top 20, but still looking strong.


Voice Top 20

Christina Grimmie - Adam

Bria Kelly - Usher

Sisaundra Lewis - Blake 

Dawn and Hawkes - Adam - eliminated in second battles

Brothers Walker - Usher - eliminated in battles

Cierra Mickens - Shakira - lost to Emily, stolen by Usher - eliminated in second battles
Clarissa Serna - Shakira - eliminated in second battles

Audra McLaughlin - Blake 

Cary Laine - Adam - eliminated in battles

TJ Wilkins - Usher - eliminated in live rounds

Alaska and Madi - Blake - eliminated in battles

Delvin Choice - Adam 

Ddendyl - Shakira - eliminated in second battles

Sam Behymer - Adam - eliminated in second battles

Paula Deanda - Blake - eliminated in battles

Kaleigh Glanton - Blake - eliminated in second battles

Jake Worthington - Blake

Madilyn Paige - Usher - eliminated in second battles

Emily B - Shakira - eliminated in second battles

Kat Perkins - Adam

Top three are still in it, but I'm secretly rooting for my number 20 - Kat Perkins.

Ultimate rock chick.

Reminds me so much of Jordis who was my pick for season two.

And follows me on Twitter.

Though so do Audra McLaughlin and Bria Kelly. Surprisingly nice people...

Anyway, check out this clip. Kat is mad wicked.

Magic Man


she's gonna go far.

Alright, time for songs of the day.

Sledgehammer - Team Adam


I love Team Adam this year. Christina's my number one and Kat's my underdog plus Delvin is excellent in his own right.

Plus huzzah! Peter Gabriel.

Aaaannnd another flashback - Song You Know But Forgot You Knew It

As Fast As You - Dwight Yoakam


i love this guy. he and george strait are the epitomy of classic country.

Alright, that's all I got. I'm gonna crash.


I'm back to Lie to Me. Only watched the episodes once the first time around and forgot who's guilty already so it works.

i didn't eat my soup or my bread, just the bunny.

Ah, Easter.

Huge day.

Woke up and headed out to the boyfriend's.

Got there earlier than planned so stopped and picked up flowers for his mom and mine.

They were excited.

Went to church with them and ran into my old college roommate.

Who I haven't seen since her wedding.

Which I was in.

And now she has a kid.

So a lot has changed.

It was amusing though cause her husband and the boyfriend's sister's fiance used to play baseball against each other so they were talking after the service.

Boyfriend's sister's fiance, you follow all that?

Also ran into an old drama buddy from high school.

Reunion central.

After church we ate out with the boyfriend's family, grandparents included.

Awesome food, had the baked steak with vegetables.

They're vegetables.

I hate the word "veggies".

Too cutesy.

Drives me nuts.

"You can't fix stupid."

More Duck Dynasty, ugh.

After dinner we headed out to the farm.

Hid some eggs - not as many as last year but still a good stash.

Pastor, wife and kids came out as well.

With the combination of those four and our millions there was a lot of tiny children running around.

The baby still loves me best, totally favorite aunt.

She walked three steps from me to Squirt so that's big potatoes.

Ate far too much for supper, combination of that plus the big lunch zonked me out.

So basically stayed on the couch for the rest of the day.

We watched the epic finale of The Bible.

It was interesting, except we were picking it apart because of specific inaccuracies.

Oh well, at least they made an effort.

Now I'm back and exhausted so I'm gonna crash.

song of the night cause i'm eating one as we speak.

I don't want no pickles, I don't want no honey, I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny.

Ohh the joy that is family.

And actually it is a joy.

Joyful and triumphant.

Gonna say that at this moment life pretty much rocks.

Love my family, love my boyfriend, love my job, love that camp prep starts later this week - not so in love with my current homework assignment as assigning call numbers isn't exactly cake if you're not copy-cataloging, but in a couple weeks I'll be done with it, so I guess I could love that.

Today was good, this joyful eastertide.

There's a debate going on.

I'm kind of the queen of nicknames, or so I've been dubbed at least.

So I have nicknames for pretty much everyone that is important to me, family, coworkers, other friends, but no nickname for the boyfriend.

Other than "the boyfriend" which apparently doesn't count.

Though I say it does as he's the only boyfriend that matters.

Which makes it sound like there's more than one so let me rephrase.

Out of all that I've had he's the one that matters, how's that?

Anyway, according to my family he needs a nickname because "the boyfriend" can only go so far. And I don't see them calling him "babydoll" anytime soon, though that's more of a long story.

So here were some suggestions that came from the round table. Or square table. Rectangular table. of suggestions. yeah.

-The boyfriend submitted via text "So damn good looking" but says "Mr. Sexy" will do also.
My family's comeback to that was, "as long as Rick can call you that in public."

-Option two was "Stude" as it mixes his name with dude. Which just happens to be my nickname, long story.
To which he came back with "Stud as in Stud Muffin"
Though my family decided to stay away from muffins.

-My brother threw out "Mound of Useless Information" as he's good with trivia, but "King of "Useless Information" is already taken by my brother in law.
He didn't like that one so my brother in law said "He could be the Queen of Useless Information but that would be awkward for me."

The debate continues I'm sure more will arise.

Quotes of the day:

Second Sister: "I'm only playing Grapes to Pears." as a reply to Mom asking if we wanted to play "Apples to Oranges" which is what she calls "Apples to Apples"

Me: "I wanna build a boat out of a screen door!"
Sister-in-law: "It would be weird if someone knocked."
Second Sister: "Don't answer if they say landshark."
Oldest Sister: "That's a life lesson for you...Where in the world would you live that the basis of fixing a boat with a screen door is a logical choice? Maybe in the mob and you need to get rid of some bodies."
Me: "But close the door quick or you're screwed."
Oldest Sister: "We could really solve the world's problems this afternoon with some more alcohol."
Second Sister: "I'm turning it back to Fox News and that's all there is to it."
flex seal commercial, i think it would be awesome. just sayin'

Mom: "Have you guys ever had an implant?"
Everyone: "Just one?"
Me: "What to even them out?"
she was talking about teeth but we didn't see it that way. and no our answers were all no. completely out of the blue.

Mom: "Dad says to get the camera, we may not see you in a dress ever again." yes i wore one to church. but i now have multiple in my closet so i should wear them at some point.

So after church, dinner, helping the easter bunny with the eggs, watching the kids hunt, debating, Swamp People, Pirates 4, Narnia, pitch, more food and a new addiction the "draw something" app I made it back to the apartment unscathed.

As a present from my sister we all got Silly Songs With Larry on CD and it rocks I jammed the whole way home.

If you suffer from severe culture-deprivement Silly Songs With Larry is a segment of the show "Veggie Tales" in which Larry the cucumber sings a silly song.

And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry. The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song.

"Dance of the Cucumber"

"dance, dance, yeah!"

"Water Buffalo Song"

"you can't say everybody has a water buffalo when everyone does not have a water buffalo. we're going to get nasty letters saying where's my water buffalo? why don't i have a water buffalo? and are you prepared to deal with that? i don't think so just stop being so silly."
yes i recited that from memory, it's my favorite and an old friend of mine and i used to sing it repeatedly.

"The Hairbrush Song"

"oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where!!!!!"

"The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything"

"and i've never been to boston in the fall"

"I Love My Lips"

"she had a beard and it felt weird" "ohh, look at the time!"

"The Bunny Song"

rack shack and benny, he's the bad guy. the background singers make the song. seriously.

gonna have to get off vacation mode, long day tomorrow but i get to start it at the home branch for the first time in months. woohoo!

"I don't want no pickles, I don't want no honey, I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny. I don't want a tissue when my nose is runny, I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny. I don't want to tell you a joke that is funny, I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny. I don't wanna play on a day that is sunny, I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny..."

'til Johnny's dancing with me I've got no reason to smile...

Big day in G-Town man, big day.

First up was driving a pickup to the tire shop as it had a flat, and I followed mom who was also driving a pickup to the tire shop cause it had a flat...and this was after my dad had dropped off my car at the tire shop cause it had a flat...they loved us today.

Then it was the big easter egg hunt at the courthouse which apparently I used to go to but have absolutely no memory of it. I guess my brother took me around, he was the popular one in school so everyone just knew me as Mark's baby sister.

Yeah, that's one of my favorite stories about my brother, he could have been valedictorian but he chose not to because he wanted to have a social life.

All my siblings are super smart and then there's me.

Not that I'm completely incompetent I am a librarian. And got a couple 4.0's in college so I manage.

Anyway, this morning it was all about candy at the courthouse. They divide the age groups up and we had one in each cause Abbers was in the youngest which is like toddler to 3, then you got Booge's group which was 4-6, and then Claire was the oldest in the 7-to I'm guessing like 10, anybody older than that would dominate.

I went with Booge and actually he did dominate, he had excellent strategy though I don't know if he realized it. Basically he's super fast so he ran out in front of all the kids and got there first and then grabbed and ran, like it was the run and scoop method, genius. He dominated. And the girls did pretty well themselves. Plus they got these prize ticket things for businesses around G-Town, they cleaned up man.

I'd call it a victory.

After that Mom and I came back to the house to help the "easter bunny" with candy stuff.

While we attempted to watch "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy" but failed as we were too distracted.

It was alright.

Not fantastic.

I feel like I should go back and watch it more closely because it was SOOO HARD to follow, too many characters I think. I should probably read the book then maybe I'd get it.

Anyway, so I should go back and watch it again but I really have no motivation to. Even though I do love Gary Oldman and Colin Firth, I think they're fantastic, and maybe it is a fantastic movie but I was too distracted to pay attention.

Scale of Awesome at the moment says 4/10 but that's only because I missed half of it cause I was stuffing eggs.

Plus I had to show Mark the Darth Maul commercials posted a few posts below this one and we were watching it on the TV with no remote for the DVD player - which is obnoxious but it's been that way for years now. And the sad part is that we have a universal remote so we could program it, but that'd be too easy you know?

Anyway, yes there are going to be a lot of "anyway"s in this post I think this is my third, get used to it.

Anyway, four, he thought they were funny, which they are, plus I gave him his shirt. I found this Darth Vader shirt at Target that has a picture of Vader and then the phrase "Who's Your Daddy", super funny.

After that candy craze, which mom hid cause she knew that Mark would steal it - he did unsuccessfully try this afternoon but failed epically, I had to throw him some and it was funny cause he was trying to be subtle about it. HA!

Anyway, five, after the candy craze I watched some Swamp People with dad, cause apparently a weekend at the farmhouse isn't complete without watching an episode of Swamp People at least once a day. Which is good, I find it highly enjoyable. Looking forward to next week's and see I'd tape them on my own, but then what would I watch when I came out to the farmhouse?

Really, Swamp People is just saving me from marathon's of HeeHaw. Which I'm sure I'll get tomorrow night before I leave. He usually has ones cued up for me to see.

ANNND after all that I cleaned out my closet.

One of them.

Sort of.

I mean, I went through everything but it's all memorabilia stuff so it's not trash-able. So it'll stay in boxes for now and eventually get moved to my apartment.

So I guess you could say it was more like taking stock rather than cleaning out.

I took stock of all my crap.

And I only got through one of the two closets in my room.

I mean, technically it's one big one they're connected but it's two doors, whatever, anyway six, I found stuff from high school and college and all that and in it was one seriously seriously depressing poem that I don't remember writing at all, and it like threw me off. Cause I was so excited to find all this stuff, especially the stuff I forgot about and then I pull this out and it was like, dude, WTF?

Here.

Read.

And then forget it cause it's highly depressing and like I said I totally forgot about writing it, no idea when I did, but it's in my hand-writing so I guess it was me.


When you smile at me my heart skips a beat.

When you talk to me it starts to pound.

When you're close to me I can hear it in my head.

When you kiss me it leaps into my throat.

When you told me you loved me my knees buckled.

When you're not around I drag my feet.

When we bicker and fight I cannot breathe.

When you told me you're leaving I ended my life.

When you came back for me I was already gone.

When you cried for me I couldn't hear it.

When you threw things for me I couldn't see it.

When you ended your life I saw you again briefly, but just for a second before they took you away.

Why oh why do you do this to me?


and there's that. like i said highly depressing and morbid and just blah.

so forget about it.

cause i'm still reeling and just weirded out that i don't even remember writing it. or who i was writing about. which is weird. cause i'm a writer and it's semi-memorable i would say.

or maybe because it's highly depressing i blocked it out, whatever moving on!


I finally watched the elimination rounds on the Voice and if you don't want to be spoiled - though it was from Tuesday - then don't read.

Stoked that Jordis got saved, though was shocked when she was initially not picked as they said she topped the rock charts and was the first artist to do so on The Voice.

Seriously just excited, and kind of shocked by a lot of the choices, but stoked as they were all my favorites and the ones I downloaded off itunes.

Alright, songs of the day:

"It's My Party" Lesley Gore

i just love her voice, it's so unique. and that's the only way i can describe it.

and its sequel

"Judy's Turn To Cry" Lesley Gore

and you took him back? after that? really?

While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby

Another day, another marathon of Swamp People.

Plus some HeeHaw.

But that's what happens when you don't visit the farmhouse for two months, your father has shows lined up for you to watch.

And then hits his head and winds up in the emergency room.

Quote of the night:
Mom: "Guess where I am?"
Me: "Where?"
Mom: "The hospital."
Me: "Seriously? I leave for five minutes..."

He needed stitches and apparently the doc started stitching him before the numbing took effect. I asked if he socked him in the face. After all the crap this past year with the white walls and sterylized equipment I would have been tempted to.

But he's always been a great doc to me so...

He's probably used to the after hours calls from us by now. As a kid I went over there multiple nights to get my arm put back into socket. Apparently that happened a lot, it got pulled out or something. Then he taught my brother how to do it. Sounds painful, must have blocked it out. I'm not good with that stuff, makes me cringe.

Anyway, aside from watching Liz kick some major gator butt, I took my car for an oil change at my favorite mechanic's aka the boyfriend's house. He's handy like that. It was highly entertaining.

Mom has invited him for Easter. We'll see if he is brave enough to face the crazy. Church, dinner then a massive egg hunt. I told him there would probably be a lot of card playing after, as has become tradition at family gatherings. Or maybe we'll switch it up for some Apples to Apples but that's highly doubtful.

Will have to teach him how to play, as seems to be the tradition when siblings bring in significant others. It's like a rite of passage or something.

Moving on.

What kind of hats do they wear at the North Pole?

Ice caps.

Or that's what my popsicle stick says.

Popsicle sticks, I hate popsicles sticks.

SuperHumann used to use them in high school when no one would raise their hand. They'd be numbered so whoever got pulled had to answer.

Though I remember it backfired one time during government class. She also used them to assign partners, this time she partnered me with my boyfried of the time. The look on her face was priceless. So we were loud and obnoxious and lived it up. She was not amused.

Pretty sure that came around the same class as:
SH: "What's unique about the word equal."
no one answers...raise hand
Me: "It has a q in it?"
red marker flies passed my head.

We had a lot of fun in that class. Speaking of, Jessica and I used to drive around York when dropping Smo off for PT and we came across Iowa Avenue with lots of hills and a sign that says "Dip". We told SuperHumann about the "dip"s and she replied,
"Well, there's two of them in the car."

Ouch.

So tonight when I drove passed the Iowa Avenue roadsign I had to laugh.

The joys of small town Nebraska and class with SuperHumann.

Alright, I'm out for the night. Class tomorrow means I should get some sleep, that way I can actually understand all the numbers and data entries they'll be explaining tomorrow.

"Whiskey Lullaby" Brad Paisley

well that was depressing.

"She Said Yes" Chad Brock

the boyfriend and i had a debate about the lyrics on this one. he says it "he said why" while i say "he said wow" cause it makes more sense and rhymes better.

thoughts?

Well I am young but I have aged...

Oh the joys of Easter. Lots of food, lots of candy, time with family, now I'm in need of a giant nap. But it was a good day. Church, then second sister and I hid the eggs (with the easter bunny i mean) and it was like candy overload. We always get too much, but it's awesome that way. My brother enjoys it because he finds more and more candy throughout the week. After dinner the kids were running all over the place finding the candy and playing on the playground area. Dad built this playhouse thing with a slide and a sandbox and a merry-go-round with a bunch of swings...all for the grandkids of course. We didn't get any of this stuff, huh.
Anyway, there was so much food! and then we watched - well attempted to watch - Angels and Demons, but I had to keep changing the channel when the scary parts were on since kids were running in and out of the room, plus half the adults were napping. It was humorous. So, two crying children and a broken crockpot later I'm home and jamming out on my couch.


As promised, some indie favorites.

Rilo Kiley "Silver Lining" LIVE! awesome

recorded at a radio station, love it!

She & Him "In the Sun"

I seriously love this video. It amuses me. And I would have posted "Why Do You Let Me Stay Here" since its my favorite of theirs but I posted it a few weeks ago - the morbid disturbing night with Beck's "Loser".

Eh, I'll post it again anyway. Cause I like it and I can.
Sounds vaguely like Adam Sandler in "The Wedding Singer" ... "well I have a microphone and you don't..."
"Why Do You Let Me Stay Here" She & Him

i already commented on the morbidity in my last post of this, but i still laugh hysterically at 1:02.

"Life is Short" Butterfly Boucher

very catchy.

"Hurtful" Erik Hassle

gotta love itunes free music, i actually like this song a lot.

"The Fear" Lily Allen

I think if I were to break it down, Lily Allen and She & Him would probably be my favorite indie bands.

And I'm out. I don't think I have to go in tomorrow morning so I might actually get to sleep in! Which will really kind of suck for my coworkers since we were closed yesterday and there will be a lot to catch up on. I'll leave my ringer on in case they need me.