Okay. So I got a speeding ticket. Yes, I'm aware. But, now, apparently, everyone else is as well. But as least I called and told them about it after it happened. It could have been worse. I wasn't calling from behind bars or something. My one phone call. Asking for bail money. Thanks for that Second Sister. The lot of you really. You're all so supportive. The second I walk through the door. Seriously.
So, Thanksgiving. A time for food, family, and sarcasm galore. There wasn't as much this year since there was no Apples to Apples involved. There was however a lot of card playing.
Some really really and let me add another really bad pinochle playing on my part. Joe sat by me trying to pick up the game and I had to say, "Well, here's how you lose." But, just to say, we were 87 in the hole at one point and still finished with a positive 40 something. So that could have been worse as well. Got a double marriage and a double pinochle and a run in one hand and I think we scored about 80 on that one alone. But that was my only good hand the whole night.
I did win one game though, when I was paired with Dad. Which is weird, I mean it's not cause he's good, but Teina and I usually rock when we're paired up. But that was a while ago when we were last paired. This year we got owned. On multiple occasions. But crappy cards man. Geez. One good hand means getting set every other one. Yikes. I should have just stopped bidding altogether.
I haven't played that game in literally years. Which is weird, because we use to play it all the time and I mean all the time. We never played pitch. It was always pinochle. But when we're with extended family it's pitch because it's easier. And faster.
Other than card playing there was a lot of food, yes, but there was also a mass amount of laziness. About an hour of sitting on the couch, watching Suh get thrown out, smooth move dude, and going through the ads. It was funny cause we were out in the living room on the awesome new furniture, Sarah on the end, then Cindy then Mandy, Me then Teina and Mark on the floor and we would just pass the ads down the couch basically. All with paper and pens coming up with Christmas lists.
Second Sister wants me to get her one of those emergency tool things so if your car goes under water you can slice your seatbelt and hammer your way out of your window. Cause apparently you're trapped. They saw it on Mythbusters. And she drives over mass amounts of water daily. Not. But she's pregnant and hormonal so I shall do as she asks.
And they always ask if we're doing a big Christmas, aka are we buying presents for the siblings? And I do. Cause I like Christmas. They don't have to buy lots of stuff if they don't want to, but I'm going to. Cause I like it. and I have this awesome catalog of random stuff - similar to a Sky Mall if you've flown and browsed through that - and yeah, there's gonna be a lot of random gifts this year. I'm thinking Everts Christmas gag gift stuff. Primo collector edition.
And of course, everything I was repulsed with I talked about and they all claimed they were going to buy it for me. But really, why would you need a fake plastic person who's actually a tape dispenser but is sitting on a toilet with a pen in his mouth and paper clips coming out of his butt? Is that repulsive to anyone else? Who wants that sitting on their desk? Seriously. I'm gonna have to find a picture of that, cause I really can't describe it any better than that. I'd rather just have a coffee cup filled with pens and tape.
Here, go here: Creepy Plastic Person
It freaked me out.
Even more than the 100 dollar bill toilet paper. It doesn't cost 100 dollars, it's an actual (fake) 100 dollar bill on a roll.
or the kind that glows in the dark. WHY?!
Good god.
I did, however, find something fantastic for The Cool Aunt. which I guess I can't mention cause she reads this. So she'll just have to be excited for things that fly. and that's all I'm saying.
Speaking of Everts Family Christmas. We have this baby. It's plastic. and Ugly. and Dances. Supposedly. But it's still in the box so really it only sways side-to-side and it's been a gag gift for years. Literally. and it just keeps getting passed back and forth. and I have a problem. Because I'm pretty sure that I have it. and that means I have to find it. So it's either in the boxes in my apartment, or the boxes in my closet here at the farmhouse. or in the abyss that's the basement. Hmmm... I'll check tomorrow.
Okay, so other than cards, trail mix, ads, football, napping, mass amounts of food, drinking chocolate wine, and watching children run wild, there was a lot of talking. and some good quotes. Though there are really none of them that I can repeat. Other than the ones I've already explained.
I did enjoy our 20 minute conversation about the Dougie dance. If you have no idea to what I'm referring to skip to the bottom and watch the video. We want to change it to "Teach me how to Teina". We watched the video and she said she does most of the moves so we could change the name and add a few more moves. and Mark can do the cabbage patch in the background.
Alright. Music Rec's I think we're to the E's.
And due to good timing you get a family classic:
"Evil Woman" Electric Light Orchestra
used to dance and sing this when i was little tiny. and we taught it to Squirt and Bubby when they were little tiny.
"there's an open road that leads no where, so just make some miles between here and there"
hahahahaha, oh my god. one of the comments on the youtube page is a dedication.
"I'd like to dedicate this song to my ex, Sheila.
Sheila, if you are reading this, rot in hell.
Love, Mark
:D
"
fantastic.
"Everywhere" Michelle Branch
a big one from college. good god she looks young.
yes i know this is the second one of hers i've used for the alphabet rec's and we're only to the E's but get used to it, cause she rocks. and technically that was The Wreckers. just cause she's one of the lead singers in the band...
as mentioned above:
"Teach Me How To Dougie" Cali Swag District
Big day tomorrow. New phone on the morning, means I had to go through my current phone tonight typing up all my notes cause they won't save to my media card. Do you know how long it takes to type up 479 notes? I skipped half. Didn't even upload any of the dream log. Cause dude. That's soooo much more. But the pictures and ringtones and all that are good to go. I'm hoping they'd just be able to transfer all that stuff - like contact numbers and stuff - to the new phone but I'm guessing it doesn't work with the notes. Hence the typing.
I did find a few more life mottos that I forgot to mention in the One Year post.
-"One minute I'm sane, the next two I'm crazy" think that came from a dream
-"Put it in the microwave and pour it over chips" that's a Magic Bullet direct quote but I like to use it out of context, it's more fun that way
-"It's a worthless guide to an epic ride" which is kind of a disclaimer to this blog
-"We won't judge you. We may slow clap you, but we won't judge you." camp quote, that was one of mine when we went bowling, works well in life events
Okay, will consider transferring more depending on how tired I am after this post.
After the new phone tomorrow is the Huskers game. First annual Heroes Game, trophy included. It's a "revivalry" really. I enjoy that word.
And then I get to set up the trees - yes I did buy them a new one and I'm stoked - and decorate the house. My favorite thing to do for Xmas, aside from the whole Xmas day proceedings. It's cool to have all the lights up and all that. I'm excited.
So, big day. I'm out.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Showing posts with label one year. Show all posts
Showing posts with label one year. Show all posts
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Remember, Remember the Fifth of November: Take Six
Oh my god, Oh my god, the snake on Bones, totally disgusting. Did anyone else watch that? I'm still screaming.
Alright, more Quotes of the Year
Friends:
Lori: "Give him a pamphlet and tell him to find Jesus."
advice for making stalkers go away
Ben at the derby: "I could be wearing them now, You don't know what I'm wearing under these jeans." fishnet stockings...
Me: "That was pretty."
Ben: "That wasn't pretty at all. It was hardcore."
Me: "Right it was hardcore pretty!"
Wordsmith: When do I get a blender?
W's Mom: When you get married.
Wordsmith: How do you expect me to get a woman if I can't blend a margarita?
Me: “How do I make it go woo?”
D...R partner: “Tripods don’t make that noise.”
…
Me: “Did it work?”
D...R partner: “I guess we’ll find out if it falls down and breaks.”
pre-recording our Delayed...Reaction new songs
Juwanna: “That’s why I don’t know anything about babies, I ran after you!”
i'm sorry! but watching that on tv was just not appetizing at all!
Smo: “Show me your T-Magic!”
yeah, she actually said it. to T-Magic. well, yelled it at him as he was leaving.
Pastor: “Cause when I think of cheerleaders I think of the Golden Girls.” golfing. enough said.
Taylor: “Where’s your lost and found?”
Carrie the nurse: “Somebody lose their skivvies?”
Me: “Just put it on the table.”
Carrie: “Don’t put them there, I keep meds there!”
camp fun.
Jim/Me/Ken: JANSEN!
more camp fun.
Grad School:
Classmate: "I was in nursing until I realized I have no bedside manner." on life before the library
Classmate: "Just don't be a D-bag."
Me: "That's your mission statement?" that's his life code.
Classmate: "Unless he was quelling their rebellion by boring them to death." someone's comment of joy about the diary of a certain one of shackleton's crew members
Presenter: "Why do we collect statistics? Anyone?" *silence* "Okay!"
Classmate: "Yeah, but there's a difference between that and forgetting to put sauce on a big mac!" this chick is married to a military officer so they were talking about discipline and then this other dude's former boss was an officer and flipped out at this dude at mcdonalds for messing up his order. somehow that mistake got tied to officers making mistakes and having consequences.
Professor: "Note to self, it there's ice and a ship, don't go!" about titanic and shackleton.
Professor: "You need a plan, Shackleton."
Library Goddessisms:
-"That could bore the paint off walls..."
-"I'm so glad that spellcheck doesn't have a 'duh'... It took me five times to spell weenie..."
-"Got sexier than their server will support!"
-"Why are we looking up magazine articles on the Titanic? It sunk, we're over it...Why would you go to that movie? We know how it ends! I can save you some money, it sinks!"
-"Interoperability...haha, FACE!" excited she could spell it
-"Who, When, What, Where and then we have another Who...ish" about citation
-"That's why there are 800 books named 'Frog'!!.......I don't know where that example came from." since you can't put a copyright on a title
-"Ha! plus five!" pronounced a difficult last name correctly
-"Donkey Hotey" okay...I can't explain that one
-"I don't care if you have a girl middle and a boy high or a boy middle and a girl high...school! High school!" yeah...haha, gotta include school on that one.
-"Take the call but go down the hall, don't say Hey by the door. We don't care about your hey." but it was like "Hey" as in "Hey, Ho, Hey, Ho" hysterical.
-"You will not get a handout for your marriage." true dat.
-"They call it the highrise because it's the only building there with 2 stories."
-"Support a para-professional a year, pay your library fines!"
-"Hoarders...one time's all you need."
-"Practice in your car, they'll just think you're singing."
-"I've been booktalking since dirt!"
-"I've read that book four times and I still don't know what happens!"
-"Like we'd know if you mess up...if it falls apart just lie!" booktalks
-"Big plastic fish thing." Jaws, she was talking about Jaws.
TV:
Claudia (Warehouse 13): "Well, Serendipity is my stripper name." Oh Claudia, how much you add to Warehouse 13's already awesome level.
Wolcott: "Is there not a man in London you haven't charmed?"
Helena (HG) Wells: "Oscar Wilde, and not for lack of trying."
Castle: “How do you know when you’re in love?”
Beckett: “All of the songs make sense.”
Roz (Frasier): “Just passing by, thought I’d stop in for a career.”
Frasier: “We’ve decided to think it’s charming.”
Maya (Just Shoot Me): "Competition brings out the worst in people!"
Nina: "Actually bike shorts bring out the worst in people..."
Nina: “Guess what I got!”
Finch: “Why, are they stumped down at the clinic?”
The Chief (Carmen Sandiego): “If cheese isn’t safe in Wisconsin, nothing is safe in Wisconsin!”
Victoria (Hot in Cleveland): "God I hate jocks!"
Joy: "You were married to a wide receiver!"
Victoria: "I still don't know what sport that is!"
Carrie Fisher: “I just have basically too much personality for one person but not enough for two.”
Magwilde (Bonekickers): "It's like graveyard jenga down here." Freaking Bonekickers. Every thought in my head for weeks came out in a Scottish accent.
Victoria (Mike and Molly): “So yes, I do believe in Bigfoot. And yes, I think he’s a total jerk.”
Elphaba (Wicked): “Not everyone can come and go by bubble.”
Scott Pilgrim vs. the Universe: “He punched the highlights out of her hair!”
Kelly (Charlie's Angels): “You move it turkey, we were here first!”
General Beckman (Chuck): “It’s longer than my copy of Atlas Shrugged!”
Castle: “And now, I own a boat!”
love the horn at the end.
Random:
-Bumper Sticker: “Hit me, I need the excitement.”
-Rasputin was poisoned, shot and drowned.
-An Angler on the Amazon hit a beehive with his stick. In order to avoid the angry bees he jumped into the river and was eaten by piranhas.
-When in doubt shelf-read the jNonfiction. That place is always a disaster area.
-In 1865, in the war between Uruguay and Brazil, one of Uruguay's ships ran out of cannon balls so they fired chunks of stale Dutch cheese out of the cannons. One of them dismasted an enemy ship and killed two sailors.
-If you've ever had to haul a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor you may be a redneck.
-People used a rhyme in the olden days to remind others to stay away from Oak trees in a lightning storm. "The oak brings the stroke." Apparently oak trees were thought to be highly conductive.
-It's lucky to spit in your hand before you pick up your bat. It's unlucky to share bats with someone else. ....and now totally gross if you play with superstitious people.
A random collection of knowledge I know. That's the beauty of public libraries. The information is limitless, unlike academic or special libraries. Booyah.
New Life Mottos:
-Social life in progress
-Well that’s something to scrapbook
-At least the baby stopped crying
-I’m just coloring in the chicken feathers
-Black in the crevices
-I’m a constant surprise
-I’m just not hooked on your phonics
-That's a second Friends reference for those of you counting.
-Because everyone should have someone to scream at in a giant elephant.
-Another day another margarita
-And don't go all shrink on me. If you tried to analyze my crazy you'd drive yourself there.
-Is she telling me this because she expects me to be social?
-The Sideways Hat Theory
-I live my life behind the tab.
and that's all she wrote.
Alright, more Quotes of the Year
Friends:
Lori: "Give him a pamphlet and tell him to find Jesus."
advice for making stalkers go away
Ben at the derby: "I could be wearing them now, You don't know what I'm wearing under these jeans." fishnet stockings...
Me: "That was pretty."
Ben: "That wasn't pretty at all. It was hardcore."
Me: "Right it was hardcore pretty!"
Wordsmith: When do I get a blender?
W's Mom: When you get married.
Wordsmith: How do you expect me to get a woman if I can't blend a margarita?
Me: “How do I make it go woo?”
D...R partner: “Tripods don’t make that noise.”
…
Me: “Did it work?”
D...R partner: “I guess we’ll find out if it falls down and breaks.”
pre-recording our Delayed...Reaction new songs
Juwanna: “That’s why I don’t know anything about babies, I ran after you!”
i'm sorry! but watching that on tv was just not appetizing at all!
Smo: “Show me your T-Magic!”
yeah, she actually said it. to T-Magic. well, yelled it at him as he was leaving.
Pastor: “Cause when I think of cheerleaders I think of the Golden Girls.” golfing. enough said.
Taylor: “Where’s your lost and found?”
Carrie the nurse: “Somebody lose their skivvies?”
Me: “Just put it on the table.”
Carrie: “Don’t put them there, I keep meds there!”
camp fun.
Jim/Me/Ken: JANSEN!
more camp fun.
Grad School:
Classmate: "I was in nursing until I realized I have no bedside manner." on life before the library
Classmate: "Just don't be a D-bag."
Me: "That's your mission statement?" that's his life code.
Classmate: "Unless he was quelling their rebellion by boring them to death." someone's comment of joy about the diary of a certain one of shackleton's crew members
Presenter: "Why do we collect statistics? Anyone?" *silence* "Okay!"
Classmate: "Yeah, but there's a difference between that and forgetting to put sauce on a big mac!" this chick is married to a military officer so they were talking about discipline and then this other dude's former boss was an officer and flipped out at this dude at mcdonalds for messing up his order. somehow that mistake got tied to officers making mistakes and having consequences.
Professor: "Note to self, it there's ice and a ship, don't go!" about titanic and shackleton.
Professor: "You need a plan, Shackleton."
Library Goddessisms:
-"That could bore the paint off walls..."
-"I'm so glad that spellcheck doesn't have a 'duh'... It took me five times to spell weenie..."
-"Got sexier than their server will support!"
-"Why are we looking up magazine articles on the Titanic? It sunk, we're over it...Why would you go to that movie? We know how it ends! I can save you some money, it sinks!"
-"Interoperability...haha, FACE!" excited she could spell it
-"Who, When, What, Where and then we have another Who...ish" about citation
-"That's why there are 800 books named 'Frog'!!.......I don't know where that example came from." since you can't put a copyright on a title
-"Ha! plus five!" pronounced a difficult last name correctly
-"Donkey Hotey" okay...I can't explain that one
-"I don't care if you have a girl middle and a boy high or a boy middle and a girl high...school! High school!" yeah...haha, gotta include school on that one.
-"Take the call but go down the hall, don't say Hey by the door. We don't care about your hey." but it was like "Hey" as in "Hey, Ho, Hey, Ho" hysterical.
-"You will not get a handout for your marriage." true dat.
-"They call it the highrise because it's the only building there with 2 stories."
-"Support a para-professional a year, pay your library fines!"
-"Hoarders...one time's all you need."
-"Practice in your car, they'll just think you're singing."
-"I've been booktalking since dirt!"
-"I've read that book four times and I still don't know what happens!"
-"Like we'd know if you mess up...if it falls apart just lie!" booktalks
-"Big plastic fish thing." Jaws, she was talking about Jaws.
TV:
Claudia (Warehouse 13): "Well, Serendipity is my stripper name." Oh Claudia, how much you add to Warehouse 13's already awesome level.
Wolcott: "Is there not a man in London you haven't charmed?"
Helena (HG) Wells: "Oscar Wilde, and not for lack of trying."
Castle: “How do you know when you’re in love?”
Beckett: “All of the songs make sense.”
Roz (Frasier): “Just passing by, thought I’d stop in for a career.”
Frasier: “We’ve decided to think it’s charming.”
Maya (Just Shoot Me): "Competition brings out the worst in people!"
Nina: "Actually bike shorts bring out the worst in people..."
Nina: “Guess what I got!”
Finch: “Why, are they stumped down at the clinic?”
The Chief (Carmen Sandiego): “If cheese isn’t safe in Wisconsin, nothing is safe in Wisconsin!”
Victoria (Hot in Cleveland): "God I hate jocks!"
Joy: "You were married to a wide receiver!"
Victoria: "I still don't know what sport that is!"
Carrie Fisher: “I just have basically too much personality for one person but not enough for two.”
Magwilde (Bonekickers): "It's like graveyard jenga down here." Freaking Bonekickers. Every thought in my head for weeks came out in a Scottish accent.
Victoria (Mike and Molly): “So yes, I do believe in Bigfoot. And yes, I think he’s a total jerk.”
Elphaba (Wicked): “Not everyone can come and go by bubble.”
Scott Pilgrim vs. the Universe: “He punched the highlights out of her hair!”
Kelly (Charlie's Angels): “You move it turkey, we were here first!”
General Beckman (Chuck): “It’s longer than my copy of Atlas Shrugged!”
Castle: “And now, I own a boat!”
love the horn at the end.
Random:
-Bumper Sticker: “Hit me, I need the excitement.”
-Rasputin was poisoned, shot and drowned.
-An Angler on the Amazon hit a beehive with his stick. In order to avoid the angry bees he jumped into the river and was eaten by piranhas.
-When in doubt shelf-read the jNonfiction. That place is always a disaster area.
-In 1865, in the war between Uruguay and Brazil, one of Uruguay's ships ran out of cannon balls so they fired chunks of stale Dutch cheese out of the cannons. One of them dismasted an enemy ship and killed two sailors.
-If you've ever had to haul a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor you may be a redneck.
-People used a rhyme in the olden days to remind others to stay away from Oak trees in a lightning storm. "The oak brings the stroke." Apparently oak trees were thought to be highly conductive.
-It's lucky to spit in your hand before you pick up your bat. It's unlucky to share bats with someone else. ....and now totally gross if you play with superstitious people.
A random collection of knowledge I know. That's the beauty of public libraries. The information is limitless, unlike academic or special libraries. Booyah.
New Life Mottos:
-Social life in progress
-Well that’s something to scrapbook
-At least the baby stopped crying
-I’m just coloring in the chicken feathers
-Black in the crevices
-I’m a constant surprise
-I’m just not hooked on your phonics
-That's a second Friends reference for those of you counting.
-Because everyone should have someone to scream at in a giant elephant.
-Another day another margarita
-And don't go all shrink on me. If you tried to analyze my crazy you'd drive yourself there.
-Is she telling me this because she expects me to be social?
-The Sideways Hat Theory
-I live my life behind the tab.
and that's all she wrote.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Remember, Remember the Fifth of November: Take Three
Oh....my....god.
Just.
There are no other words.
To describe what happened today at work.
Okay, so in college my friend Schwartz (even though she is no longer schwartz but i will call her that until we die) and I formed this group on Facebook called "Awkward Moments at Concordia" and we filled it with stories about awkward moments that happened at Concordia, like your car alarm going off repeatedly in the parking lot and how it wouldn't even stop going off as you were driving down the road, or getting a rose on the first date from this guy you took a math class with, or having people assume you're engaged because you shared a hymnal with someone at chapel, and so on and so forth.
Today I'd like to add a new category to this blog entitled: Awkward Moments at the Library.
Today's awkward moment topped even the "likes ass or jazz" conversation mentioned here: My Life in Closed Captions: This Magnet Moment...
Topped it by far.
Topped the whole freaking list.
Soared over the whole freaking top of the list.
That I could spell out to you in detail, or you could just read the blog, it's full of awkward recollections of awkward moments.
Anyway, so yeah. Okay, how do I put this in words?
I'm still a little in shock.
Basically,
Um,
So I was helping this older lady in the lab download some files onto her flashdrive. And she wanted to make sure that they had loaded. So we unplugged it and plugged it back in and she clicked on one that was a video. And, this is when we learned, that if you open a new video in window's media player, the former video that was playing on it, remains there.
And um, I should probably mention that this was an unfiltered computer. And leave the rest up to your imagination.
Just. Oh my god. Imagine the worst video that could pop up on the screen when you're showing someone who could be your grandmother how to make sure her files downloaded.
Oh my god.
Just oh my god.
Um, yeah, "closing out of that window."
She was horrified.
As was I.
Oh my god.
And, as I stumbled out of the lab and approached the desk at what was now shift-change, there were literally no words that came out of my mouth.
Athough I was apparently completely red.
The Reference Queen - yes we have a queen and the king is so-named "infoman" - says she's never seen me that speechless.
And continued to tease me for the rest of the day.
As did the Queen of the Known Universe, asking if I'd learned anything new.
Oh my god.
Seriously.
Just, there are no words.
So, we're just gonna move on and ignore the tears currently rolling down my face from laughter at this whole thing.
See, it's funny now. But at the time, I just. Oh my god. Worse than being yelled at by angry patrons. See, with them, I can walk it off and go back and do my job knowing that the percentage of the next person in line being more bitchy than the bitch before them is very low.
But see, now I'm like scarred for life from the lab and helping people download files. Cause. Just. No. I don't. There's not. I can't. Just no. No.
Of all the people that I could have been helping it had to be a older lady. and then AND THEN, the kid across the aisle jumps up and asks "are you having computer problems? cause I'm a computer student." I literally jumped up from my knees and yelled, "no! no, we're good. thanks." Because as fun as it would be for that to get announced in a crowded enclosed space, it would just make this nightmare worse.
So yeah, that was my day. I mean, it was good up until then. Slept in, had a good lunch, made plans for Friday, got to work with some of my favorite people, but yeah. That's what's burned into my brain from this day.
And, maybe, showing you some of these will make that one go away. Oh my god.
Alright, continuing the "one year" theme, here's some pics from across the year.
I'll start with ones you haven't seen.
My Life in Closed Captions: Our drinking team has a golfing problem I think this was around hole number eight. Or maybe it was more like five. Either way, it was a day of awesomeness.
My Life in Closed Captions: This is a week of my favorite things Day Three: Te... White walls and sterylized equipment. Yeah. I think we got it.
My Life in Closed Captions: 2G's version of Oh Lord of Light The finalized verses of our version.
I have no explanation for this, I just think it's the best plant ever. Something even I couldn't kill.
My Life in Closed Captions: And no one's getting fat except mama cass. Taking a break from post-camp processing.
Carter likes to sleep on my stomach. All the time.
It's the Death Star of Awesomeness. Star Wars going away party at work.
He likes to pounce on the door. So I put up an obstacle. And he freaking climbed the obstacle and was still able to pounce on the door.
My Life in Closed Captions: I've never heard silence quite this loud. And *pbbt* you was gone.
My Life in Closed Captions: Camp J 2011 Highlights JANSEN!
Plus some you have seen:
My Life in Closed Captions: Well I ain't first class, but I ain't white trash.... Spawn of Awesome
My Life in Closed Captions: To dye, or not to dye? That is the question. Receipt Printers Gone Wild
alright, tomorrow is clips and quotes and probably some other random stuff as well.
Just.
There are no other words.
To describe what happened today at work.
Okay, so in college my friend Schwartz (even though she is no longer schwartz but i will call her that until we die) and I formed this group on Facebook called "Awkward Moments at Concordia" and we filled it with stories about awkward moments that happened at Concordia, like your car alarm going off repeatedly in the parking lot and how it wouldn't even stop going off as you were driving down the road, or getting a rose on the first date from this guy you took a math class with, or having people assume you're engaged because you shared a hymnal with someone at chapel, and so on and so forth.
Today I'd like to add a new category to this blog entitled: Awkward Moments at the Library.
Today's awkward moment topped even the "likes ass or jazz" conversation mentioned here: My Life in Closed Captions: This Magnet Moment...
Topped it by far.
Topped the whole freaking list.
Soared over the whole freaking top of the list.
That I could spell out to you in detail, or you could just read the blog, it's full of awkward recollections of awkward moments.
Anyway, so yeah. Okay, how do I put this in words?
I'm still a little in shock.
Basically,
Um,
So I was helping this older lady in the lab download some files onto her flashdrive. And she wanted to make sure that they had loaded. So we unplugged it and plugged it back in and she clicked on one that was a video. And, this is when we learned, that if you open a new video in window's media player, the former video that was playing on it, remains there.
And um, I should probably mention that this was an unfiltered computer. And leave the rest up to your imagination.
Just. Oh my god. Imagine the worst video that could pop up on the screen when you're showing someone who could be your grandmother how to make sure her files downloaded.
Oh my god.
Just oh my god.
Um, yeah, "closing out of that window."
She was horrified.
As was I.
Oh my god.
And, as I stumbled out of the lab and approached the desk at what was now shift-change, there were literally no words that came out of my mouth.
Athough I was apparently completely red.
The Reference Queen - yes we have a queen and the king is so-named "infoman" - says she's never seen me that speechless.
And continued to tease me for the rest of the day.
As did the Queen of the Known Universe, asking if I'd learned anything new.
Oh my god.
Seriously.
Just, there are no words.
So, we're just gonna move on and ignore the tears currently rolling down my face from laughter at this whole thing.
See, it's funny now. But at the time, I just. Oh my god. Worse than being yelled at by angry patrons. See, with them, I can walk it off and go back and do my job knowing that the percentage of the next person in line being more bitchy than the bitch before them is very low.
But see, now I'm like scarred for life from the lab and helping people download files. Cause. Just. No. I don't. There's not. I can't. Just no. No.
Of all the people that I could have been helping it had to be a older lady. and then AND THEN, the kid across the aisle jumps up and asks "are you having computer problems? cause I'm a computer student." I literally jumped up from my knees and yelled, "no! no, we're good. thanks." Because as fun as it would be for that to get announced in a crowded enclosed space, it would just make this nightmare worse.
So yeah, that was my day. I mean, it was good up until then. Slept in, had a good lunch, made plans for Friday, got to work with some of my favorite people, but yeah. That's what's burned into my brain from this day.
And, maybe, showing you some of these will make that one go away. Oh my god.
Alright, continuing the "one year" theme, here's some pics from across the year.
I'll start with ones you haven't seen.
My Life in Closed Captions: Our drinking team has a golfing problem I think this was around hole number eight. Or maybe it was more like five. Either way, it was a day of awesomeness.
My Life in Closed Captions: This is a week of my favorite things Day Three: Te... White walls and sterylized equipment. Yeah. I think we got it.
My Life in Closed Captions: 2G's version of Oh Lord of Light The finalized verses of our version.
I have no explanation for this, I just think it's the best plant ever. Something even I couldn't kill.
My Life in Closed Captions: And no one's getting fat except mama cass. Taking a break from post-camp processing.
Carter likes to sleep on my stomach. All the time.
It's the Death Star of Awesomeness. Star Wars going away party at work.
He likes to pounce on the door. So I put up an obstacle. And he freaking climbed the obstacle and was still able to pounce on the door.
My Life in Closed Captions: I've never heard silence quite this loud. And *pbbt* you was gone.
My Life in Closed Captions: Camp J 2011 Highlights JANSEN!
Plus some you have seen:
My Life in Closed Captions: Well I ain't first class, but I ain't white trash.... Spawn of Awesome
My Life in Closed Captions: To dye, or not to dye? That is the question. Receipt Printers Gone Wild
alright, tomorrow is clips and quotes and probably some other random stuff as well.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Remember, Remember the Fifth of November: Take Two
Have you ever had one of those days where you're so upset with yourself that you literally just want to go cry in a corner? That was me today. And the psychology behind it is actually really interesting. How I can be so much more effected when one person is upset with me compared to anyone else being upset with me. It literally killed my day. But it's okay. I mean, it's not. But it'll be okay. Soon. I'll fix it. I hope.
But if Superwoman has taught me anything it's that being a librarian is much like being an actress so I faked my way through the day successfully as none of the patrons seemed to notice. My coworkers were smart enough to realize it was not a good day and waited for me to come to them. That's how I know I'm where I'm supposed to be.
So I'm trying to be happy and excited and just you know, manageable of emotions. And it's crap, because when I'm really really mad I just write a scene and kill off the bad guy in a really painful inhumane way. But when I'm sad, life just bites.
Slim Shady and I are going out for lunch tomorrow. She's trying to cheer me up. "Yes, I need to be excited about life." "Well, I wouldn't go that far." And the Cool Aunt who is perpetually there when I need her was very helpful. So I'm grateful.
Aannnd now that we've rinsed off the soap we can get back to the good stuff.
So yes, it's been a year. One crazy and exhausting year. Through job interviews, camp excursions, play practices from hell, creepy stalkers hitting on me continually, and I'm still here to post. So that's something. Right?
Those were 38, yes 38, of my favorite posts. And guess what. You're about to get even more.
39. We go, we drink, we banter, we dance, we cheer, we eat, a lot, and drink some more. My Life in Closed Captions: Extra Innings Victory! Love Mom.
40. Damage control on the fly. My Life in Closed Captions: Rockin' the Reference with the Shelver's Curse Plus I'm a nerd. Remember that.
41. Which Steve? My Life in Closed Captions: Tin Roof!...Rusted... "You don't look like a librarian."
42. What's your walkup song? My Life in Closed Captions: Motions of Motherhood "Don't put your lime carcuss on my plate!"
43. Queen of Koha turned Plant Killer My Life in Closed Captions: Say Goodnight and Go "Oh, I was looking for shotguns."
44. Play nice or you will wear my latte. My Life in Closed Captions: "You need a plan, Shackleton." "Unless he was quelling their rebellion by boring them to death."
45. Oh, we're mercenaries, didn't they tell you? My Life in Closed Captions: 2 games, 2 amazing right-field catches, an injured... "Don't listen to him, he's just used to dealing with cold bodies."
46. Just don't sleepwalk when there's an office chair at the base of your bed. My Life in Closed Captions: "Well, this is awkward."It will scar your roommate for life.
47. Library Swag My Life in Closed Captions: Green Bags and Nametags "No idea, but we should probably clap."
48. You die your way, I'll die mine. My Life in Closed Captions: "That's not coffee, that's diabetes on ice." 10/12... "to give you a gentle push, or a kick in the ass."
49. You flip to the back of the hymnal to see if anyone's made a note about the water damage. My Life in Closed Captions: You know you're a librarian when: Who wouldn’t want to drive across the country with a protagonist fixated on drugs, women, and intellectualism?
50. Battle of the Lutherans My Life in Closed Captions: Lutherans in the Outfield Therefore, I'm destined to marry a Catholic.
51. If you see a sign claiming they will file legal action against you if you clean poultry in the bathroom My Life in Closed Captions: Joys of Small Town Nebraska blame my sister. That's all her.
52. Librarians go Gaga My Life in Closed Captions: "Don't you ever interrupt me while I'm readin' a b... "I feel sort of rocky sometimes."
53. Remember when you went out hunting for possum? You said you’d get one and wouldn’t be long. My Life in Closed Captions: Where Oh Where Are You Tonight? That’s ten years ago and I’m sitting here waiting, beginning to wonder if something went wrong.
54. Dear Facebook, My Life in Closed Captions: Something tells me I'm into something good... You need a Bitchslap Button.
55. Rollin' with my gnomies. My Life in Closed Captions: "You know if you move that fast enough, you can al... Why is the g silent?
56-62. Favorites Week - These Are a Few of My Favorite Things Seven whole days of lists and clips of awesomeness.
Tune in tomorrow for clips, quotes and pictures of the awesomeness that's been one year in the life of me.
But if Superwoman has taught me anything it's that being a librarian is much like being an actress so I faked my way through the day successfully as none of the patrons seemed to notice. My coworkers were smart enough to realize it was not a good day and waited for me to come to them. That's how I know I'm where I'm supposed to be.
So I'm trying to be happy and excited and just you know, manageable of emotions. And it's crap, because when I'm really really mad I just write a scene and kill off the bad guy in a really painful inhumane way. But when I'm sad, life just bites.
Slim Shady and I are going out for lunch tomorrow. She's trying to cheer me up. "Yes, I need to be excited about life." "Well, I wouldn't go that far." And the Cool Aunt who is perpetually there when I need her was very helpful. So I'm grateful.
Aannnd now that we've rinsed off the soap we can get back to the good stuff.
So yes, it's been a year. One crazy and exhausting year. Through job interviews, camp excursions, play practices from hell, creepy stalkers hitting on me continually, and I'm still here to post. So that's something. Right?
Those were 38, yes 38, of my favorite posts. And guess what. You're about to get even more.
39. We go, we drink, we banter, we dance, we cheer, we eat, a lot, and drink some more. My Life in Closed Captions: Extra Innings Victory! Love Mom.
40. Damage control on the fly. My Life in Closed Captions: Rockin' the Reference with the Shelver's Curse Plus I'm a nerd. Remember that.
41. Which Steve? My Life in Closed Captions: Tin Roof!...Rusted... "You don't look like a librarian."
42. What's your walkup song? My Life in Closed Captions: Motions of Motherhood "Don't put your lime carcuss on my plate!"
43. Queen of Koha turned Plant Killer My Life in Closed Captions: Say Goodnight and Go "Oh, I was looking for shotguns."
44. Play nice or you will wear my latte. My Life in Closed Captions: "You need a plan, Shackleton." "Unless he was quelling their rebellion by boring them to death."
45. Oh, we're mercenaries, didn't they tell you? My Life in Closed Captions: 2 games, 2 amazing right-field catches, an injured... "Don't listen to him, he's just used to dealing with cold bodies."
46. Just don't sleepwalk when there's an office chair at the base of your bed. My Life in Closed Captions: "Well, this is awkward."It will scar your roommate for life.
47. Library Swag My Life in Closed Captions: Green Bags and Nametags "No idea, but we should probably clap."
48. You die your way, I'll die mine. My Life in Closed Captions: "That's not coffee, that's diabetes on ice." 10/12... "to give you a gentle push, or a kick in the ass."
49. You flip to the back of the hymnal to see if anyone's made a note about the water damage. My Life in Closed Captions: You know you're a librarian when: Who wouldn’t want to drive across the country with a protagonist fixated on drugs, women, and intellectualism?
50. Battle of the Lutherans My Life in Closed Captions: Lutherans in the Outfield Therefore, I'm destined to marry a Catholic.
51. If you see a sign claiming they will file legal action against you if you clean poultry in the bathroom My Life in Closed Captions: Joys of Small Town Nebraska blame my sister. That's all her.
52. Librarians go Gaga My Life in Closed Captions: "Don't you ever interrupt me while I'm readin' a b... "I feel sort of rocky sometimes."
53. Remember when you went out hunting for possum? You said you’d get one and wouldn’t be long. My Life in Closed Captions: Where Oh Where Are You Tonight? That’s ten years ago and I’m sitting here waiting, beginning to wonder if something went wrong.
54. Dear Facebook, My Life in Closed Captions: Something tells me I'm into something good... You need a Bitchslap Button.
55. Rollin' with my gnomies. My Life in Closed Captions: "You know if you move that fast enough, you can al... Why is the g silent?
56-62. Favorites Week - These Are a Few of My Favorite Things Seven whole days of lists and clips of awesomeness.
Tune in tomorrow for clips, quotes and pictures of the awesomeness that's been one year in the life of me.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Remember, Remember the Fifth of November
Remember, Remember the Fifth of November, the day that it all began.
A blog, I thought to myself, well that'd be an interesting life plan.
So I plotted, and searched looking for the right place for me,
Running into blogspot and flipping through their formats for free.
This could work, I said, already planning it all,
I could talk about work, about life, about foosball.
Hyjinks, shenanigans, awkward experiences too,
All in great detail and ready to view.
It started so simple, just one introduction post,
Soon after was when I found I was toast.
A year later I'm still here, posting almost every night,
About anything that gives me inspiration to write.
Now what? I ask myself, should I keep on going?
Then thinking, okay scratch that and make it knowing,
That my life without this blog would truly be lacking,
What else could I do at night that's so useful in tracking
My life occurrences much like a journal,
If a journal was something you shared with stalkers eternal.
So I'll still be here tomorrow, and the day after that too
And if you're still reading this then here is my cue,
A few of my favorite posts I'd like to re-share,
About work, about family about dating, yes I dared.
Read these or not it's been my pleasure to entertain,
Or overload you with random facts that stick in your brain.
Thank you for reading about a year in life of me,
Yes, this poem is almost over and I give you all for free,
A few of the highlights in this year-long journey,
Library adventures, family shenanigans and a pitch tourney.
1. Introductory Post: My Life in Closed Captions: *Insert Clever Title Here* "I have dyed my hair the following colors: red, blonde, purple, orange, blue, black and back to the original brown that we forgot it was."
2. A Christmas Tree Nightmare: My Life in Closed Captions: A Christmas Tree Nightmare "I put the trees up at the farmhouse today and gotta say wow. I've never wanted to burn something more in my life."
3. Onward, Gypsy Leader: My Life in Closed Captions: Well, at least the baby stopped crying... "What happens at the holiday party stays at the holiday party!"
4. Twelve Days of Christmas, Janice Dickinson Style My Life in Closed Captions: Christmas Came Indeed! "and a totally insufficient dowry..."
5. Sleep-Deprived Space Cadets My Life in Closed Captions: "Screw the fan, You want an E-Reader!" "Yes, I took out my rage against e-readers on this pen!"
6. Carbination 101 My Life in Closed Captions: Library + Science experiments = Hootie Hoo "It was disgusting but caffeinated."
7. Tell them you worship snakes My Life in Closed Captions: The girl with the captivating eyes + sick day + fi... It always works for me.
8. Shimmy Damnit, Shimmy! My Life in Closed Captions: Right about now, the funk soul brother. Check it o... "Give me a piece of that gum, you didn't tell me it would be enjoyable."
9. I hope you're wearing socks. My Life in Closed Captions: His Name Was GADE - Delayed...Reaction "Gade said no wonder, these shoes don't fit me so great."
10. I like cheese, but I don't like cheese. My Life in Closed Captions: New Shoes, the Cheese Speech, Warped Tour and MXPX... "It's ridiculous that it's this hard to walk like a normal person."
11. Don't put that in the blog! My Life in Closed Captions: Make the lambs stop screaming! "She's got the biggest bajoingas at this table."
12. Satan has a thing for redheads My Life in Closed Captions: "Those are gonna be some weirdass dreams..." "Are we gonna get in trouble?" "Just tell them you were the one waiving the flag."
13. Happy Birthday to me My Life in Closed Captions: "It sunk, we're over it!" haha, FACE!
14. I learned two things, 1. There are such things are Snow Leopards My Life in Closed Captions: We can be heroes just for one day... and 2. If I call Superwoman at 2AM she will retaliate.
15. Apparently, within the next few weeks, I'm going to find my mate. My Life in Closed Captions: Just you and me and my GUAAARRRDS! Oh, and the world is going to end.
16. I met a guy. I thought he was sane. My Life in Closed Captions: You're everything that everybody warned about... We went out. Turns out he's not.
17. The Dirt System My Life in Closed Captions: "Cause even after three text messages, four missed... So I have this doppelganger.
18. Mr. Rogers was an ordained minister. My Life in Closed Captions: Sitting, Waiting, Wishing on Red Wine, Mistakes, M... We've decided to think it's charming.
19. White Walls and Sterylized Equipment My Life in Closed Captions: This is a week of my favorite things Day Three: Te... "Yes, we'll flip you the bird."
20. You're too nice to the weird boys. My Life in Closed Captions: This Magnet Moment... Likes ass or jazz.
21. Barf Chips and Face Aerobics My Life in Closed Captions: Hello Koha! But I do own a bicycle.
22. The Surgery Group My Life in Closed Captions: Embark the vehicle! "I'm sorry creepers were taking pictures of your butt."
23. It's not a club. My Life in Closed Captions: I'm a pancake. I'm a pancake. Do you need me for this conversation?
24. You will not get a handout for your marriage. My Life in Closed Captions: So you'll remember what I forgot to say... Donkey Hotey.
25. If it falls apart just lie. My Life in Closed Captions: Can I Keep You - Some Assembly Required "Support a para-professional a year, pay your library fines!"
26. Take that "Creative Reasons" My Life in Closed Captions: *Spoiler Alert* I ain't sayin' I was wrong about any of these...
27. Well, we can't all come and go by bubble. My Life in Closed Captions: Oh, just wear the frock, it's pretty! I'm beautifully tragic.
28. You fell in love with a liar who will light you on fire. My Life in Closed Captions: Wickham, you mischievous man, You plotted a mischi... Move on to the neighbor Joanne.
29. Zombies vs. Unicorns My Life in Closed Captions: Impromptu speech-writing Edward vs. Jacob
30. Black! Gold! Black! Gold! My Life in Closed Captions: Yeah... still gonna call it Rosenblatt. + 0-6, 0-6... "That's why I don't know anything about babies, I ran after you!"
31. Jack the Pigeon My Life in Closed Captions: Welcome to Earth, third rock from the sun...pigeon... seriously?
32. Circle! Square! My Life in Closed Captions: Circles, Squares and Ugly Women, Oh My! "Damn, the place is going to the cops."
33. Jim passed a kidney stone through his parietal bone. My Life in Closed Captions: 2G's version of Oh Lord of Light "Why don't you have a verse?"
34. Put on some music, it'll make her look less crazy. My Life in Closed Captions: 10 points for Gryffindor! "I will murder you at my wedding. I'm not above that."
35. The Sideways Hat Theory My Life in Closed Captions: Camp J 2011 Highlights "and pbbt you was gone."
36. List of skits My Life in Closed Captions: I've never heard silence quite this loud. JANSEN!
37. I'll google it. My Life in Closed Captions: Our drinking team has a golfing problem "Because when I think of cheerleaders I think of the Golden Girls."
38. You're a bit of a blonde in a brunette's body. My Life in Closed Captions: Groove is in the Heart "Get your head out of your purse." "It smells nice in here!"
More to come tomorrow.
A blog, I thought to myself, well that'd be an interesting life plan.
So I plotted, and searched looking for the right place for me,
Running into blogspot and flipping through their formats for free.
This could work, I said, already planning it all,
I could talk about work, about life, about foosball.
Hyjinks, shenanigans, awkward experiences too,
All in great detail and ready to view.
It started so simple, just one introduction post,
Soon after was when I found I was toast.
A year later I'm still here, posting almost every night,
About anything that gives me inspiration to write.
Now what? I ask myself, should I keep on going?
Then thinking, okay scratch that and make it knowing,
That my life without this blog would truly be lacking,
What else could I do at night that's so useful in tracking
My life occurrences much like a journal,
If a journal was something you shared with stalkers eternal.
So I'll still be here tomorrow, and the day after that too
And if you're still reading this then here is my cue,
A few of my favorite posts I'd like to re-share,
About work, about family about dating, yes I dared.
Read these or not it's been my pleasure to entertain,
Or overload you with random facts that stick in your brain.
Thank you for reading about a year in life of me,
Yes, this poem is almost over and I give you all for free,
A few of the highlights in this year-long journey,
Library adventures, family shenanigans and a pitch tourney.
1. Introductory Post: My Life in Closed Captions: *Insert Clever Title Here* "I have dyed my hair the following colors: red, blonde, purple, orange, blue, black and back to the original brown that we forgot it was."
2. A Christmas Tree Nightmare: My Life in Closed Captions: A Christmas Tree Nightmare "I put the trees up at the farmhouse today and gotta say wow. I've never wanted to burn something more in my life."
3. Onward, Gypsy Leader: My Life in Closed Captions: Well, at least the baby stopped crying... "What happens at the holiday party stays at the holiday party!"
4. Twelve Days of Christmas, Janice Dickinson Style My Life in Closed Captions: Christmas Came Indeed! "and a totally insufficient dowry..."
5. Sleep-Deprived Space Cadets My Life in Closed Captions: "Screw the fan, You want an E-Reader!" "Yes, I took out my rage against e-readers on this pen!"
6. Carbination 101 My Life in Closed Captions: Library + Science experiments = Hootie Hoo "It was disgusting but caffeinated."
7. Tell them you worship snakes My Life in Closed Captions: The girl with the captivating eyes + sick day + fi... It always works for me.
8. Shimmy Damnit, Shimmy! My Life in Closed Captions: Right about now, the funk soul brother. Check it o... "Give me a piece of that gum, you didn't tell me it would be enjoyable."
9. I hope you're wearing socks. My Life in Closed Captions: His Name Was GADE - Delayed...Reaction "Gade said no wonder, these shoes don't fit me so great."
10. I like cheese, but I don't like cheese. My Life in Closed Captions: New Shoes, the Cheese Speech, Warped Tour and MXPX... "It's ridiculous that it's this hard to walk like a normal person."
11. Don't put that in the blog! My Life in Closed Captions: Make the lambs stop screaming! "She's got the biggest bajoingas at this table."
12. Satan has a thing for redheads My Life in Closed Captions: "Those are gonna be some weirdass dreams..." "Are we gonna get in trouble?" "Just tell them you were the one waiving the flag."
13. Happy Birthday to me My Life in Closed Captions: "It sunk, we're over it!" haha, FACE!
14. I learned two things, 1. There are such things are Snow Leopards My Life in Closed Captions: We can be heroes just for one day... and 2. If I call Superwoman at 2AM she will retaliate.
15. Apparently, within the next few weeks, I'm going to find my mate. My Life in Closed Captions: Just you and me and my GUAAARRRDS! Oh, and the world is going to end.
16. I met a guy. I thought he was sane. My Life in Closed Captions: You're everything that everybody warned about... We went out. Turns out he's not.
17. The Dirt System My Life in Closed Captions: "Cause even after three text messages, four missed... So I have this doppelganger.
18. Mr. Rogers was an ordained minister. My Life in Closed Captions: Sitting, Waiting, Wishing on Red Wine, Mistakes, M... We've decided to think it's charming.
19. White Walls and Sterylized Equipment My Life in Closed Captions: This is a week of my favorite things Day Three: Te... "Yes, we'll flip you the bird."
20. You're too nice to the weird boys. My Life in Closed Captions: This Magnet Moment... Likes ass or jazz.
21. Barf Chips and Face Aerobics My Life in Closed Captions: Hello Koha! But I do own a bicycle.
22. The Surgery Group My Life in Closed Captions: Embark the vehicle! "I'm sorry creepers were taking pictures of your butt."
23. It's not a club. My Life in Closed Captions: I'm a pancake. I'm a pancake. Do you need me for this conversation?
24. You will not get a handout for your marriage. My Life in Closed Captions: So you'll remember what I forgot to say... Donkey Hotey.
25. If it falls apart just lie. My Life in Closed Captions: Can I Keep You - Some Assembly Required "Support a para-professional a year, pay your library fines!"
26. Take that "Creative Reasons" My Life in Closed Captions: *Spoiler Alert* I ain't sayin' I was wrong about any of these...
27. Well, we can't all come and go by bubble. My Life in Closed Captions: Oh, just wear the frock, it's pretty! I'm beautifully tragic.
28. You fell in love with a liar who will light you on fire. My Life in Closed Captions: Wickham, you mischievous man, You plotted a mischi... Move on to the neighbor Joanne.
29. Zombies vs. Unicorns My Life in Closed Captions: Impromptu speech-writing Edward vs. Jacob
30. Black! Gold! Black! Gold! My Life in Closed Captions: Yeah... still gonna call it Rosenblatt. + 0-6, 0-6... "That's why I don't know anything about babies, I ran after you!"
31. Jack the Pigeon My Life in Closed Captions: Welcome to Earth, third rock from the sun...pigeon... seriously?
32. Circle! Square! My Life in Closed Captions: Circles, Squares and Ugly Women, Oh My! "Damn, the place is going to the cops."
33. Jim passed a kidney stone through his parietal bone. My Life in Closed Captions: 2G's version of Oh Lord of Light "Why don't you have a verse?"
34. Put on some music, it'll make her look less crazy. My Life in Closed Captions: 10 points for Gryffindor! "I will murder you at my wedding. I'm not above that."
35. The Sideways Hat Theory My Life in Closed Captions: Camp J 2011 Highlights "and pbbt you was gone."
36. List of skits My Life in Closed Captions: I've never heard silence quite this loud. JANSEN!
37. I'll google it. My Life in Closed Captions: Our drinking team has a golfing problem "Because when I think of cheerleaders I think of the Golden Girls."
38. You're a bit of a blonde in a brunette's body. My Life in Closed Captions: Groove is in the Heart "Get your head out of your purse." "It smells nice in here!"
More to come tomorrow.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
"I've been cheated, been mistreated, when will I be loved?"
Surprise visits from two supervisors today both claiming to check out the relatively new paint job. One - who shall be known as the "Master Chef" (I have no idea about her culinary talents but right before they offered me the permanent job she asked if I was ready to join the Master Chef Challenge. I asked if they brought fire extinguishers. Then they gave me the job instead) - the other who I refer to as Cabin Fever. Because she gets Cabin Fever when she spends too much time in her office and comes to help at the desk. She's also the one who told me to say I "worship snakes" when asked out by a creeper or get annoyed with telemarketers.
Both were amusing as always. One actually did check out the paint job, the other and myself thought about moving the Young Adult area as it's quickly running out of space and no one knows it exists. But where would you move it to really? That's why I'm excited for my blueprint grad school assignment.
I actually enjoyed today a lot, despite the mass amount of stress brought on by certain patrons. But it's just the usual really - patron upset about holds so I spent hours on the phone and looking for a missing book, and of course the jam-handed children running and messing with everything. The joys of the library. For some reason I keep coming back. But I enjoy it.
If there was no conflict or stress then the job would be boring and that's not what I'm looking for in life. I enjoy the variety of people and problems that come across my desk. Keeps me on my toes. The joys of public service.
Speaking of joys, have I mentioned how much I love working with my trainee? I haven't thought up a suitable nickname yet, but she's fantastic. Catches on quickly but asks when she needs something. Plus she's highly amusing and we get along well.
I feel special, they trust me alone with a trainee. For a whole day. Until Superwoman shows up to cover for me going to lunch. If you call 4-5 lunch. Supper? or do you say "Dinner"? In our house it was always Dinner at noon and Supper at night. There was no such thing as lunch. "Lunch" started when I went to a dorm high school when it was on a physical schedule. I should move on before I start talking about projects from college about language and linguistics.
That was pretty much my day. Other than coming home to watch NCIS. Oh my god, you know when you're watching something and you recognize the character's voice but their face is completely different? Duuuude. Guest-starring Charlie's freaking Angel herself, Cheryl Ladd. Although I didn't know that at first, I just picked up on it when she was hitting on Ducky and there was something about her voice. Yelled out "Kris Munroe!" when I figured it out - just adds to my neighbors probable on-going tally on my crazy sudden outbursts about completely random things. But she looks soooo different. But it's not like plastic surgery different. She's got a few years difference between now and the 70's plus brown hair. That's what threw me off.
Not that I should put much stock in hair color, I mean, look who's talking really. I don't even remember my natural color. We attempted to dye it back senior year of high school when I did "Arsenic and Old Lace" yeah, took forever and didn't last long. I was back to red as soon as the play was over.
Overall I'd give the episode a 7/10 purely because of Charlie's freakin' Angel. She was really the only thing I'll take away from it. I was hoping for a more Halloween theme - they usually have some good ones, have you seen "Murder 2.0" from season six? Duuuude, attempted to watch that at night in the dark once and couldn't do it. Still can't. AND I KNOW WHO DID IT!
Alright, that's enough of my ramblings for the night. Thank you for putting up with them night after night. Afterall, it's almost been a year now. Wow. Should probably do something to celebrate that, huh?
Throwback Tuesday
"Bye Bye Love" Everly Brothers
"When Will I Be Loved" The Everly Brothers
OUT!
Both were amusing as always. One actually did check out the paint job, the other and myself thought about moving the Young Adult area as it's quickly running out of space and no one knows it exists. But where would you move it to really? That's why I'm excited for my blueprint grad school assignment.
I actually enjoyed today a lot, despite the mass amount of stress brought on by certain patrons. But it's just the usual really - patron upset about holds so I spent hours on the phone and looking for a missing book, and of course the jam-handed children running and messing with everything. The joys of the library. For some reason I keep coming back. But I enjoy it.
If there was no conflict or stress then the job would be boring and that's not what I'm looking for in life. I enjoy the variety of people and problems that come across my desk. Keeps me on my toes. The joys of public service.
Speaking of joys, have I mentioned how much I love working with my trainee? I haven't thought up a suitable nickname yet, but she's fantastic. Catches on quickly but asks when she needs something. Plus she's highly amusing and we get along well.
I feel special, they trust me alone with a trainee. For a whole day. Until Superwoman shows up to cover for me going to lunch. If you call 4-5 lunch. Supper? or do you say "Dinner"? In our house it was always Dinner at noon and Supper at night. There was no such thing as lunch. "Lunch" started when I went to a dorm high school when it was on a physical schedule. I should move on before I start talking about projects from college about language and linguistics.
That was pretty much my day. Other than coming home to watch NCIS. Oh my god, you know when you're watching something and you recognize the character's voice but their face is completely different? Duuuude. Guest-starring Charlie's freaking Angel herself, Cheryl Ladd. Although I didn't know that at first, I just picked up on it when she was hitting on Ducky and there was something about her voice. Yelled out "Kris Munroe!" when I figured it out - just adds to my neighbors probable on-going tally on my crazy sudden outbursts about completely random things. But she looks soooo different. But it's not like plastic surgery different. She's got a few years difference between now and the 70's plus brown hair. That's what threw me off.
Not that I should put much stock in hair color, I mean, look who's talking really. I don't even remember my natural color. We attempted to dye it back senior year of high school when I did "Arsenic and Old Lace" yeah, took forever and didn't last long. I was back to red as soon as the play was over.
Overall I'd give the episode a 7/10 purely because of Charlie's freakin' Angel. She was really the only thing I'll take away from it. I was hoping for a more Halloween theme - they usually have some good ones, have you seen "Murder 2.0" from season six? Duuuude, attempted to watch that at night in the dark once and couldn't do it. Still can't. AND I KNOW WHO DID IT!
Alright, that's enough of my ramblings for the night. Thank you for putting up with them night after night. Afterall, it's almost been a year now. Wow. Should probably do something to celebrate that, huh?
Throwback Tuesday
"Bye Bye Love" Everly Brothers
"When Will I Be Loved" The Everly Brothers
OUT!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
"Oh, because Cheers was taken!"
So, it's official. My social life is dead and gone for the next 2 and a half months. I got my first camp application in the mail today. Geez. I just sent them out like two days ago. And I should be excited. Because I love camp! I seriously love it! I could ramble on about camp for days and days - I do, actually, to the BFF and I think it drives her bananas - but right now, I'm just trying to get through the whole grad school read your brains out thing. So, I think, for the most part, I'll upload the information into a spreadsheet and then deal with it later after the meeting. Which will hopefully either be this weekend or the next. I guess I should ask my partner about that one and if he has any updates on it. Gotta find a new binder as well - my old one is still stuffed with last years info and the year before that's as well. I have a whole corner in my bedroom filled with tubs stuffed with old camp forms, tshirts, bandanas, lanyards, envelopes with the old themes written on them, just like piled up in the corner. I should go through those as well.
I've lived here almost a year now - it'll be a year end of next week - and I still haven't completely unpacked. I now have pictures and paintings on the wall of the living room, so if you just go in there I can completely fool you. But if you make it past the bathroom to the bedroom then I'm toast. There's still boxes everywhere. And I don't even have posters on the walls. Which is soooo bizarre for me. Yes, I still act like a teenager in my decor choices. It drives my sister - well sisters - nuts.
So, this summer, aside from directing a camp, taking classes and working two jobs I will also not only empty all the boxes and put stuff away but also hang stuff up on the walls, get curtains that block out the sun - I hate myself every morning for putting that off - and...well, I'm sure I'll come up with something else later on. Other than clean. Which I also need to do.
But speaking of year anniversaries, I've now officially been at one of the branches for over a year....well, as of Monday I had anyway. Now it's been a year and two days...and still haven't had my 6 month evaluation. Which makes me laugh. But yes, a year. Huzzah! It's funny because it flew by. So it doesn't feel like it's been a year. And on the 24th I will have officially been at the other branch for a year. Although, technically, it was only for a temp position so my 1-year-official-anniversary isn't until like September 18th. Or 16th. I can't remember. I'll look into it later.
Songs for the night:
"Say Hey (I Love You)" - Michael Franti & Spearhead
love the video and the song. those drummers are sweet!
okay...what else....I'll put my ipod on shuffle and hit you with whatever comes up. nope, not that one...or that one...that one's just dumb...okay, i lied. i'll hit you with one when i find one that i haven't already recommended, doesn't suck or won't be stuck in my head for the rest of the night as i have to read and do homework stuff.
...close enough.
"Can't Fight the Moonlight" - LeAnn Rimes and Piper Perabo
because i like the final scene better than the music video.
i actually thought about this movie today during work - when she asks if she's on drugs and she's like "just coffee." See, THIS! is Maria Bello's perfect role. Seriously. This is who I see her as. So, don't go casting her in roles with British accents "Rick, watch out for those rocks!" I just cringe every time. I mean, the whole like 3 times I've watched it. I refuse. The Mummy isn't The Mummy without Rachel Weisz, I'm sorry. Okay, rant over. Anyway, this is Maria Bello man. HBIC bartender. Awesomeness. If you have no idea who I'm rambling about she's at 0:15 and she's the first one to scream. Piper's not bad herself, haha.
So yes, I do have the soundtrack and yes, it is amazing.
I'm still channeling Victoria... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt-ne7vkA40 I'll just keep posting it until you all actually go there and watch it. Or start protesting. Whichever happens first.
Book #3 is finished now I'm started on #4, I'll give you a S.O.A. on them when I finish that one and post all the info. Huzzah!
I've lived here almost a year now - it'll be a year end of next week - and I still haven't completely unpacked. I now have pictures and paintings on the wall of the living room, so if you just go in there I can completely fool you. But if you make it past the bathroom to the bedroom then I'm toast. There's still boxes everywhere. And I don't even have posters on the walls. Which is soooo bizarre for me. Yes, I still act like a teenager in my decor choices. It drives my sister - well sisters - nuts.
So, this summer, aside from directing a camp, taking classes and working two jobs I will also not only empty all the boxes and put stuff away but also hang stuff up on the walls, get curtains that block out the sun - I hate myself every morning for putting that off - and...well, I'm sure I'll come up with something else later on. Other than clean. Which I also need to do.
But speaking of year anniversaries, I've now officially been at one of the branches for over a year....well, as of Monday I had anyway. Now it's been a year and two days...and still haven't had my 6 month evaluation. Which makes me laugh. But yes, a year. Huzzah! It's funny because it flew by. So it doesn't feel like it's been a year. And on the 24th I will have officially been at the other branch for a year. Although, technically, it was only for a temp position so my 1-year-official-anniversary isn't until like September 18th. Or 16th. I can't remember. I'll look into it later.
Songs for the night:
"Say Hey (I Love You)" - Michael Franti & Spearhead
love the video and the song. those drummers are sweet!
okay...what else....I'll put my ipod on shuffle and hit you with whatever comes up. nope, not that one...or that one...that one's just dumb...okay, i lied. i'll hit you with one when i find one that i haven't already recommended, doesn't suck or won't be stuck in my head for the rest of the night as i have to read and do homework stuff.
...close enough.
"Can't Fight the Moonlight" - LeAnn Rimes and Piper Perabo
because i like the final scene better than the music video.
i actually thought about this movie today during work - when she asks if she's on drugs and she's like "just coffee." See, THIS! is Maria Bello's perfect role. Seriously. This is who I see her as. So, don't go casting her in roles with British accents "Rick, watch out for those rocks!" I just cringe every time. I mean, the whole like 3 times I've watched it. I refuse. The Mummy isn't The Mummy without Rachel Weisz, I'm sorry. Okay, rant over. Anyway, this is Maria Bello man. HBIC bartender. Awesomeness. If you have no idea who I'm rambling about she's at 0:15 and she's the first one to scream. Piper's not bad herself, haha.
So yes, I do have the soundtrack and yes, it is amazing.
I'm still channeling Victoria... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt-ne7vkA40 I'll just keep posting it until you all actually go there and watch it. Or start protesting. Whichever happens first.
Book #3 is finished now I'm started on #4, I'll give you a S.O.A. on them when I finish that one and post all the info. Huzzah!
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