"Don't trip over the drainage pipe!"

Okay, another speed writing/speed reading post.

You have to read it fast to get the full effect.

Ready?

Go.

So yes, yesterday mostly sucked, but today made up for it.

Parade this morning - I drove the T-Bird while my niece sat on the back and threw candy.

We actually made it all the way through without running out of candy.

Which never happens.

I snagged some good ones - skittles, starbursts, etc.

Since we were car #5 we were able to park and then watch the rest of the parade.

I got beads.

It made me laugh because my cousins says I just attract them.

My old car used to have them hanging off of every surface.

In my new one they're in the drink holder in the back seat.

Now I have more to add to my collection.

After the parade I went home and took a nap.

It was awesome.

Oh and watched the Castle marathon on TNT.

Also awesome.

Still speed reading?

The siblings came out around 6 and we jammed at the house for a while until dinner at 7.

For some reason, even though we were eating inside, Mom put the cooler of pop outside - cause I think we were gonna eat at the cabin originally - anyway, so I went outside to get pop, grabbed some, closed the cooler, look up and there walks the boyfriend.

He surprised me.

Didn't think he could make it cause he had to work tonight.

So then all in my world was good again.

Ate our burgers and starting lighting stuff off.

We had fun with our Missouri purchases and then came the tank war.

See, I told him that Bubby was gonna be gone - cause they went to a wedding - so he had to take his place in the tank war. So we bought lots of tanks and various other automobiles. And some sort of hen thing.

Anyway, we attempted to be strategic in our set up.




He had the train, I had the boat. And like mega tank. But he had the plane - which actually went off twice and scared the crap out of me.

The goal of the tank war is to light off as many as possible all at once and then hope the others get hit by the fire and light themselves.

Then whoever's tanks are the least damaged wins.

In the end it was a huge char-fest but I'm pretty sure he won.

Though he did cheat when he grabbed a string of firecrackers and laid it over the top of my remaining tanks.

Still speed reading?

The real highlight was the 10 lanterns we lit off in a row.



We had many shapes and colors. This one was highly amusing, don't ask.

We lit so many Dad just got a blowtorch. Which started them much easier.



Mom thought they were illegal cause she couldn't find any, but I think some people don't sell them because they don't like them.

"Snakes and sparklers" sorry, Joe Dirt.

Anyway, after like the 10th one my brother was like, "well we know they're not illegal cause the cops would have been here by now."



The funniest part of the whole thing was watching them try to get them to fly cause you have to run with them so the wind will pick them up and it kept getting darker. The boyfriend fell in the same culvert twice in like 5 minutes.

And it was dark so all I could see was his outline going down and then hear my brother laughing.

My brother's approach was to give it words of encouragement as he ran. "You can do it" "Fly damnit!"

The boyfriend told him to act like he was at his kids' ball games to which my sister-in-law replied, "then it would be, oh my god how did you not catch that?!"

The lanterns were fun. The boys had fun racing to see who could get theirs up the fastest. The triangle ones we said looked kind of like KKK masks which led to us quoting Django for the rest of the night.

"I think we all think the bags were a nice idea."

And that was my night.

More fun will take place Saturday for the brother-in-law's birthday, huzzah! But first tomorrow is work and then homework.

Blah.

So I'm out.

Hope you had a happy fourth.




"So it'd be nice to see!"

Horribly racist but wildly entertaining.

"I'm explaining our body/trunk situation." "Awesome!"

Oh, the smell of gunpowder in the morning. There will be even more of it tomorrow.

This is probably my favorite holiday. Well, this and Christmas. Maybe some Thanksgiving, nah, mostly 4th of July and Christmas.

Today was actually fantastic. Went to the right branch this morning, woohoo! Lunch with Slim Shady, conversation with Library Goddess about NLA conference coming up in October apparently I'm going both days, then a really interesting discussion in the backroom with BossLady and The Intern.

The last time it was just the three of us in the back room was with the bird so you knew it'd be an interesting hour, both times ended with us laughing hysterically. Basically it all started with talk about 4th of July plans and I told them about me driving one of my dad's cars in the parade tomorrow and my fear that he's gonna stick me with one of his slutty manikins.

Have I told you about the slutty manikins? I don't remember. Okay, so my dad is a collector and he has all these model trains and old cars and he likes to put these manikin women in them, I have no idea why, he just does.

Anyway, so the last time I came home Mom was like, you have to see the outfits he bought for his manikins. Dad brought one inside and my jaw just dropped. "Why do you have slutty manikins?!" "They're not slutty, that's how the girls dress on Hee-Haw."

Right.

With the button down shirts tied in front.



That's not slutty at all.

Everyone woman dresses like that on a regular basis.

So I had this fear that he was gonna stick me in a car with one and I told that to BossLady and I was like, "if that happens I'll wait 'til he leaves then I'll stick in the trunk, do the parade, then take a detour, take it out of the trunk, drive back to the start point and act like nothing happened."

I look over and she's laughing hysterically, and she hits me with, "I would call the cops and say 'I think I saw Carrie shoving a body in the trunk.'"

Yeah, there would be like a blockade at the end of the parade...

So then we changed it to putting one in dad's trunk, then calling the cops and saying something to the effect of, "I saw him shove a body in the trunk and I haven't seen my mom all afternoon..." He'd get through the parade and they'd pull him over be like, "Sir, we're gonna need you to step out of the car..."

Would be the best prank ever.

Though he probably would not think so at the time.

But thoughts for the future.

It is a serious small town parade though. Floats and tractors and all that. Is Nebraska the only state that includes tractors in a parade? Total rednecks. I'm guessing they don't exactly make an appearance in any parades in New York.

But that's just a guess.

After work I packed up my fireworks, bought far too many, but now I have my tanks for the epic tank war between myself and Bubby, more on that tomorrow, and headed out to the boyfriend's house. We went out and bought even more fireworks then went back to watch the town's firework show. Jammed with his parents for a while, they're pretty cool. Sane. Which I appreciate immensely.

Though she did mention something about worrying she'll never have grandchildren. We'll see about that.

Big day tomorrow so I should probably konk out. Finally talked the boyfriend into coming out and driving in the parade. He's gonna save me from the slutty manikin. I sense a story.

And not a good one.

But that's true for most of mine as of late.

Alright, soon to be out, here's a couple of songs that were stuck in my head all day for no reason.

"A Little Bit Stronger" Leighton Meester

originally by Sara Evans, covered by Leighton Meester for Country Strong and Jordis Unga on The Voice.

love it. don't get me started on Jordis, we'd be here for a while.

If you want to read them find a "voice" or "jordis unga" tag.

"Mario Live"

it was the theme song that was a stuck in my head, but oh my god so cool! dude performs the entire first level of Super Mario Bros. Live. love that flag at the end.

OUT!

ps -  i enjoy immensely that now i get to have a tag for "slutty manikins". awesome. will attempt to use it again in the future.