So apparently Omaha is going to the Superbowl.
Which makes me feel obligated to cheer for the Broncos.
If that makes sense.
Apparently he calls the play "Omaha" a lot and people from Nebraska are going nuts and giving a bunch of money to charity every time he yells it.
It's kind of a big deal.
Not that I was big fan of Seattle, but I can honestly say I have never before cheered for the Broncos and it will be a totally new experience.
Broncos were my ex's team, if you couldn't figure that out.
I was always more of a Titans girl, but they sucked it up this year so they had no chance.
Current boyfriend really doesn't give a crap about pro football, or college really just the Huskers, so I don't even know if we'll watch it. We did last year for the commercials.
But I'm pretty sure at least 70% of the viewers only do watch it for the commercials.
Don't give me that look, you're probably one of them.
Anyway, it'll be interesting for sure.
And I guess Nebraska was gonna be featured anyway since we made that Pepsi commercial.
Look it's Bruce Lee.
Or Lee Brice, sorry Sketch.
I think if I say it enough times she'll get mad enough to drive all the way down here just to smack me.
From Illinois.
Anyway, they filmed it here in like 15 degree weather so... looking forward to seeing that finished product.
Whatever, what else?
I'm jamming at the farmhouse. Going back at some point tomorrow cause we got the hockey game tomorrow night.
Slept in this morning, ate good food, watched some TV, just jammed out. It was nice to get away from everything for a couple of days.
Mom and I watched some Castle, Major Crimes, and Hollywood Game Night.
I about had a heart attack when I realized both Alyssa Milano and Paget Brewster were on in the same episode, though on opposing teams. Which sucked. Alyssa won, btw. And next week is Angie Harmon. Which means my screams will be louder and more frequent. Perhaps I should prepare the neighbors.
I'm a nerd, get used to it.
And then Lola Glaudini - aka Elle Greenaway - was on Castle, another Criminal Minds alum. Gotta love it. Though I guess Paget is coming back for the 200th cause JJ got kidnapped. Which means I may have to actually watch that one.
I'm way behind.
But I was lazy today. To be fair I was more active yesterday. Work then out with the boyfriend. We saw Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit.
It was alright. Interesting seeing the director play the bad guy. Scale of Awesome says 6/10. It would have been better if the guy behind us stopped talking and the guy in front of us got off Facebook.
For serious.
That's really all I remember about yesterday.
No wait, the cops were called cause of a drunk guy.
And this other guy continues to follow me around.
More on that later.
I'm zonked. Gonna crash. Hope you all had an awesome holiday.
Song of the Day:
Your Woman - White Town
one of my favorite songs from the 90's. which makes me sad cause the boyfriend had never heard of it. i can't believe i haven't posted this recently, i've heard it over and over.
if you don't know, become educated, it is wicked.
and i'm out.
Oh, did anyone watch SNL? Loving the new girl! Drake wasn't bad either.
Showing posts with label magnet moment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label magnet moment. Show all posts
Monday, January 20, 2014
Monday, January 6, 2014
Post #1000: My Top Library Moments of All Time
That's right, 1000 posts.
Kind of a big deal.
So I debated topics but then it hit me, my top moments at the library of all time.
Well, library system that is since I've worked at two branches.
So, here's a list of my favorite (and not so favorite at the time but now find them amusing) moments since I started back in 2010.
And yes, this post is epically long. Don't worry, you won't have to worry about that again...until post 1500 or 2000 or 2500...
To make it easier to follow I divided them up into categories. They're not really in order of importance, except for the Magnet category. That one is.
Magnet Moments
1. Likes Ass or Jazz
-I have a problem at work. I seem to attract a serious amount of creepers. Slim Shady called me a magnet once and it stuck. "Likes Ass or Jazz" is my number one magnet moment. It goes as follows: I helped a guy find sheet music and asked "can I help you with anything else?" He gave me the once over and I have never said the phrase ever again at work. Instead, now I say "can I help you find anything else?" Anyway, he asked for my number, I said I don't date patrons then went back to work. I thought I had escaped until about 20 minutes later when he showed up to check out at the front desk. While I was busy scanning his sheet music he grabbed a pen and paper and wrote something down then slid it in my direction. I waited until he left to look at the paper. On it was his name - illegible - followed by his number and the phrase "Likes ass or jazz." Needless to say I did not call him. And of course he just happened to be outside when Slim Shady and I walked out to our cars so we pretended to be in deep conversation when passing him and his friends so I wouldn't have to face him.
2. Everything that everybody warned about
-Likes ass or jazz is number one on my list, but it's not the most intense of the group. That honor goes to Tom. Tom is a long story that I will try to sum up in a paragraph. I was working upstairs in the lab when this guy came up and asked about bank phone numbers. He smiled, I smiled, whatever. Anyway, later in the day I was downstairs shelving DVDs when he showed up behind me and asked for my number. Tom is the reason for the no dating patrons rule, just so you know, unfortunately for me that means the rule wasn't in existence yet and he seemed sane so I gave him my number. Turns out he wasn't. My favorite part of the whole experience was going back to the desk and hearing my work brother tell me he was bad news and then another coworker saying that my work brother would know bad news because he used to be bad news himself. Anyway, so we met up after work at a bar, played darts, and it was fun. In fact all was fun until I woke up the next morning with 30 missed calls on my cellphone. I decided then that he was too much for me and ended it over the phone. When he wouldn't listen and continued to call me all day I turned off my phone and later listened to a voicemail saying if I didn't answer he was going to show up at the library the next day and make a scene. Which meant I had to tell my bosses and the guard. That was fun. I also told Second Sister who then called me every hour on the hour for 24 hours just to make sure I wasn't locked in a trunk somewhere. She insisted if he showed up at my apartment that I was supposed to do the "intercom breakup", starting a new trend for breakups everywhere. Needless to say after that I never dated a patron again.
3. Grey shirted foreign guy
-So I had this patron at the work branch who would ask me out and I replied, sorry I don't date patrons. He then learned that I worked at the home branch and started showing up there and asking me out. I told him the rule applied to patrons systemwide. Then he started talking about marriage and settling down and it became even more awkward. When he showed up the next day at the work branch I told my work brother to not leave me alone with the foreign guy in the grey shirt. About half an hour later I'm helping out this guy who happened to be foreign and wearing a grey shirt, but it wasn't the actual guy, and my work brother shows up out of nowhere, hands me a book and says "take this to the back room." He then took over and when I came back the guy was gone. While I was glad he was watching out for me, it was still amusing because it was the wrong guy.
4. Hey, Little Red Riding Hood
-"Love at the library" is what Slim Shady called this one. This guy was on a computer and wanted to know about dry camping so I helped him find some info yet completely forgot now what dry camping is in the first place. Anyway, I had red hair at the time and he started calling me Little Red Riding Hood. It continued for a week until he stopped coming in.
Incident Reports
1. Fortune Teller
-We have these things called Incident Reports that we have to fill out when anything bad happens and once they're submitted they get emailed to the rest of the staff. By bad I mean patrons showing drunk, people throwing fits, just anything that is bad enough that needs to go on record. I've filled out quite a few of these throughout my three years but one sticks out in particular. A lot of the time people that call in want phone numbers. This is fine, we have lots of resources, it just takes time to find them. One lady called in wanting personal numbers and when I couldn't find them fast enough she started to insult me repeatedly. I did my best and eventually found the ones she was looking for and that's when she became all sweet and said she wanted to tell me something. Apparently, she could tell from the way that I spoke that within the next two weeks I was going to find a mate. Also, the world was going to end so I needed to right all my wrongs and never take advantage of anyone. Because of her threatening nature earlier in the call I had to write up an incident report and include her ramblings of my finding a mate within the next two weeks. Needless to say I got a lot of responses about that one. Coincidentally, less than 2 weeks later I met Tom...
2. The code
-We have this code - I can't tell you what it is cause that would negate the code - but we have a code that we use when we're in trouble at the desk and need to get away. We call someone at a different desk and say the code or sometimes when people notice we're having trouble they come and take over and send us to find the code. There was once such instance that stands out the most. Queen of the Known Universe and I were working in the lab when this guy came up to the desk and kept asking me all these personal questions. I remember it was around Thanksgiving and he basically invited himself over to my house for Thanksgiving. QoftKU happened to be there so she went out into the stacks and using her cellphone she called the desk. I answered and then acted like I needed to go find something for her. She then went to the desk to cover. After a few minutes he realized I wasn't coming back so then he started to talk to her. I saw this from the stacks so I decided to call her desk from my cellphone and she used that as an escape method as well. We met up in the middle of the nonfiction and watched as he stood by the desk waiting for us to come back. When he finally realized we weren't coming back he left and we returned to the desk.
Home Branch Fun
1. "I know this is ridiculous but..."
-My first day of work at the home branch, and for the library system in general, was spent in the back room. We had these plastic bags that we gave out for Summer Reading and apparently the legal department decided they were dangerous because if a kid put it over their head they would suffocate. I can still remember Glee-Loving Boss's voice when he said, "I know this is ridiculous..." and handed me a 3 hole punch so I could punch holes in the bottom of each of our plastic bags.
2. Dirt System
-Space Cadet and I were having a conversation about shifting stuff around the library. I said something like, "what happens if I just move it?" and she responded with something like, "you don't have the power to do that you're dirt. no, you're below dirt mining for minerals." This is back when I was an aide. I actually enjoyed that immensely because for the next 3 and a half years I got to say, "she called me dirt" in a little kid whiney voice and then she felt all fake bad about it. It actually led us to creating what we called the Dirt System. It represented the library's hierarchy and goes something like this:
Director - Sun
Assistant Director - Moon
Branch Manager - Clouds
Admin Staff - Sky
Librarians - Trees - though Sensei wanted to be a shrub
LA3's - Grass
LA2's - Dirt
Aides - Below dirt, mining for minerals aka Subdirt
I was excited because I was able to bring it back this week. I asked if I was still dirt if I had my Master's degree.
3. Flu Mist Nasal Spray
-Every year I get a flyer for Flu Mist Nasal Spray sent from an anonymous source through interdepartmental mail and it's because of this incident. I hate needles. If you know me at all you know that already. I pass out in their very presence. I told this to Glee-Loving Boss when he talked about getting a flu shot. He said that I should get the shot or I would get sick and I said I would rather get the flu than get the shot. At that very moment Oldest Sister decided to walk in, cause she used to come to the home branch all the time back when I was there. Glee-Loving Boss relayed this story on to her and she agreed that I needed to get a flu shot and that she would go with me just to hold me down. That's when Glee-Loving Boss said that they now make a nasal spray that works just as well. I still said I would rather get the flu and somehow majestically escaped getting the shot, I think Oldest Sister got too busy and distracted, yay. Anyway, I forget about it and then every year around December in the mail comes an ad. I have them hanging all over my desk and locker.
4. Shirley's Face
-You know how some people have their volume turned up really loud on their phone and even though you don't want to hear their conversations you do anyway? This happened once at the home branch when I was helping our volunteer with the self-check. There was a woman on the computer next to the self-check and he phone rang. When she answered if you could hear the gentlemen on the other side of the line say VERY LOUDLY "I've got diarrhea bad!" I will never forget the look on Shirley's face when she turned and looked at me. Horrified is one word to describe it and the expression is forever burned into my brain.
5. Screw the fan, you want an e-reader!
-This one came after the Christmas when e-readers were THE hot gift and we would get calls at the library every hour asking how they could download e-books from our catalog. We were told that instead of avoiding talking about e-readers with our customers that we needed to embrace them and be enthusiastic about them because they were the future. During a particularly amusing Tuesday night Space Cadet and I really took this one to heart repeatedly throwing out the phrases "yay e-readers!" and "we're enthusiastic about e-readers!" We then got into a discussion about how her husband is very handyman-like and fixes things around the house. One thing he was fixing was the ceiling fan. Apparently the lights flickered - which he fixed - but then the fan stopped working even when you pulled the string so I was like, "well maybe you should get a new fan", and she was like "it is new!" So I yelled "Well then screw the fan! You want an e-reader!" She died.
6. Sea cow vs. Snow leopard
-This is another Space Cadet Tuesday night. We used to work together every Tuesday night, Tuesday nights were my favorite cause I was only there for 2 hours. It was Space Cadet at first, then the Queen of Awesome, and Joe Studley, it was always a lot of fun. Anyway, when it was slow Space Cadet and I would have debates. One famous one was who would win in a fight a sea cow or a snow leopard. Random I'm aware, but we read that sea cows were extinct and she had recently had a dream with a snow leopard in it. I have no idea why. Anyway, our conclusion was that a sea cow would win because they're too big to leave the water and the snow leopard would never last that long under water.
7. 9/11 Parking Lot Adventure
-Why is it that all the bad things happen when you're alone in the building? The home branch is a particularly small library and sometimes there's only 1 person there to close. One night about 5 minutes to close a woman came in crying, hands all scratched up and covered in blood. She had tripped over a curb in our parking lot and wanted to know if she could use our bathroom to clean herself up. She was an older lady so after she returned from the bathroom I helped her apply some bandages and asked if I could help her to her car. She seemed really shook up so I called Superwoman and asked what to do. She came over to the library and we decided to call 911. An ambulance and fire truck came and checked her out. She ended up leaving in the ambulance for further tests.
8. "You looked all serious." "I am serious, I gotta get rid of this 7Up!"
-Another Space Cadet reference. One morning she came up to me looking all serious and I thought I was in trouble. She proceeded to tell me how she inherited this box of 7Up and wanted to know if I would take it. I said sure and then said I was worried because she "looked all serious." She responded, "I am serious, I gotta get rid of this 7Up!"
9. Sunny D Utility Belt
-When I used to work mornings at the home branch I would bring a bottle of juice with me for breakfast. I was prone to leaving it somewhere while shelving. Queen of Awesome told me that I should get a utility belt to put it in so I wouldn't forget it.
10. Dead limbs
-You know how sometimes when your cat bites you your limb goes numb? Anyone? Anyone? No it's not a good sign, but it only happened once and eventually came back so it was fine. The only problem with that was in the meantime I had to go to work and on this particular day Superwoman needed me to get on a step stool and hang up artwork. This may be easy for a person with two arms, but when one of those arms is dead you're left trying to figure out how you're supposed to hold up the picture above your head along with the stapler and then how you're going to staple with the stapler. I ended up using the dead arm to hold the artwork and stapler to the wall then I bashed the stapler with the good arm. Skills.
11. Contents: Weed
-As an aide you do a lot of boxing. Donations mostly, but every few months the branches run what they call "weed lists" which are lists of items that need to be weeded from the collection. Pulling the items was not a problem but what made me laugh was the signs we had to tape to the sides of the boxes to make them recognizable. Contents: Weed
12. Shelver's Curse
-As an aide you also do a ton of shelving. You are the backbone of the library whether they like it or not. Thankfully when I was one I had a very supportive crew with me. Anyway, since you shelve repeatedly you get to know the call numbers and their locations. I started calling it the Shelver's Curse but it's actually quite useful when you're out in the stacks. The only problem is that I was a shelver at the home branch and learned my call numbers and locations from there so now when I need to locate an item I visualize the shelves at the home branch and judge what the call number is by where it's shelved in my mind. 2 years after retiring as a shelver at that branch.
But, if someone asks,
Computers are 005's,
Encyclopedia's are 031's,
Bibles are 220's,
Finance are 330's,
True Crime 364.152-154,
Foreign languages are 400's,
Math and Science crap is 500's,
Health and exercise is about 612-620,
Car manuals 629's,
Gardens are 635,
Animals are 636,
Cookbooks start at 640 and go through about 649 which is when you'll hit the
resume books at 650.14,
after that it's knitting and sewing in the early 700's,
Comics and how to draw stuff is in the 741's-745's,
Decorating is 747's,
780's are music,
790's are sport stuff,
800's are mostly classic literature stuff and
some comedy around 817,
all the travel stuff is in the 900's,
US travel is like 917s,
917.82 or 917.822 is Nebraska central.
For some reason you get baby names at 929. No idea why.
Then you've got US and world history after that in the late 900s,
And then it's all biographies from there.
13. The Lost in Transit Band
-We had a merry band of coworkers so we once decided we should start a band called the Lost in Transit - that's another one of the lists you run when you're an aide. We all played different instruments so we figured we had it all covered. QofA plays flute, Glee-loving boss plays trumpet, Sensei plays piano, I play guitar and Joe Studley was our lead singer. We were very different people but it seemed to work. In fact, we all had very different majors - genealogy, theology, nutrition, english, and business but that just helped us to be better as a unit.
14. "She says I should get a sticker. Or a gold star. Or a pizza."
-Space Cadet loves pizza. In fact we used to order pizza and eat it at our staff meetings then she and I would debate about who in town had the best pizza and breadsticks. I did well on something, I think it had something to do with the point system, and Space Cadet told me I needed to tell Superwoman that I deserved a prize. So, I said the above quote and she hit me with, "Oh good grief, she would say pizza." In the end I got a snowflake sticker to put on my nametag. The kind we gave away at the desk that she didn't know about until she showed up that morning and said, "hey cool snowflake stickers."
15. But I am shy!
-If you knew me before the library you know that I'm very antisocial. Or was very antisocial. And shy.
We were scanning books and Joe Studley claimed that I can't be a shy person because I was in drama in high school and I direct a kids camp and I sing and I'm on YouTube. I yelled, "But I AM shy!" And with seriously perfect timing Glee-Loving Boss walked in and said "Since when?!"
16. "Are you free tonight? Do you need to call your mother?"
-So Superwoman and I give each other a tremendous about of crap. It works for us, but it started a long long time ago. The first of which that I can remember was this. She asked me to cover a night shift, and since I didn't have a life - at that point that is - I said yes, not realizing that my mother had this family thing planned. Last minute I called SW and she covered for me, however, the next time she asked me to work late she preceded it with "Are you free tonight? Do you need to call your mother?"
Work Branch Fun
1. Bird in the back room
-This is probably the funniest memory of them all cause I don't think I've laughed so hard, after you know screaming really loudly in a corner that is. So there's this fake bird somewhere in the building and I know this because it was on Superwoman's chair and I screamed bloody murder when I first ran into it. A few weeks later I went into the back room and saw what looked like that fake bird sitting on a cart of books to be checked in. Thinking that Superwoman was pulling a prank on me I approached the bird and then...it moved. I went to the guard and told him about it and he went with me to get it back outside. I should mention that the guard on staff that day was an elderly gentlemen who was a big guy and used to be in the military. I pointed out the bird, closed the door behind me and hid in the corner. The guard noticed that the delivery man had left the door open and that's how it must have gotten in. He then decided that the best way to get the bird back out the door was to herd it in that direction so he raised his arms, started screaming, and ran at it. The bird decided that instead of flying back outside it would fly at my head instead. So I'm crouched over in the corner screaming bloody murder while the bird flies at my head and the guard chasing it around the back room screaming and waving his arms the whole time - reminder this is a big ex-military guy - eventually the bird flew out the door but not before making a mess everywhere. Me, not wanting to touch any of that, thanked the guard and went out to tell my boss running into my coworkers first. Apparently they heard the screams, so still living that one down. I found BossLady and showed her the mess the bird had made all over the place. She said she'd clean it up so I followed her around the room and handed her sanitizing wipes which she decided to chase me around the room with after. Mean. "Scared the crap out of me." "Scared the crap out of it too."
2. Point System
-Since I started right before Summer Reading began my training was being thrown to the wolves. And I survived so I'm stronger for it. Since she didn't get a chance to train me properly Superwoman used to schedule herself with me and quiz me on things. This is where the Point System started. I started at 0 and have worked my way up and down to 156.58 and I'm stuck there. She did give me points for graduating but I think it was like 2 so barely. 156.58 is great, except that my Mom has 150 points and Space Cadet has 175. These are my own fault. Space Cadet got 150 points for sending an email with an attachment which I showed her how to do. Then got another 25 later on cause Superwoman knows I'm gullible and competitive. Mom got 150 cause she sent an email with an attachment and I relayed that to Superwoman. Like I said, gullible and competitive.
3. "Tell them you worship snakes."
-This one came from Cabin Fever about Tom. She was the first one who responded to my Fortune Teller Incident Report and then told me I had to be mean to Tom or he would follow me to the corners of hell. I asked her what I could do to make creepers stop following me and she said she tells telemarketers or religious people that come to her door that she worships snakes cause that usually shuts them up long enough for her to hang up or close the door. She also said I should find something unattractive about myself and emphasize it when creepers are around so they'll leave me alone. I replied - too loudly - "what's unattractive about me?" and another coworker walked by and asked if I was having a bad day.
4. What Was I Thinking: The Hindsight Bias
-Another Cabin Fever reference, because of the multitude of bad dating experiences and just awkward experiences in general we have compiled we decided we should one day write a book entitled: What Was I Thinking: The Hindsight Bias. My first chapter will be called "So I dated a conman - dating mistakes, mishaps, and malfunctions".
5. Lottery Debate
-Every few weeks the Queen of the Known Universe buys lottery tickets that we all go in on. We're convinced that one day we will win it big and don't feel bad now that we know that admin does their own batch buying. We've debated as to what we would buy if we were to win. QoftKU wants a gulfstream stocked with cowboys and firemen, Old New Guy has decided on a yacht with a helipad so we can come visit, and I'm still working on my list of items. It has to be something that goes with the group theme and not something lame like a mansion with a nice sound system. I'm thinking something to do with trains would go over well with my boyfriend.
6. Hulk Taxes
-Every year the library offers tax assistance. One year we did it on Sundays and we open late on Sundays so it didn't start until 1PM. InfoMan, myself and an aide were opening the main floor when suddenly the front doors were Hulk-ed open and a man came in and headed toward the elevator. Infoman explained that we were closed - the lights were still off - and that he needed to go back outside and wait. The man insisted that he needed to be first in line to get his taxes done and proceeded to walk to the elevator. Infoman insisted he needed to wait outside and followed him closing the doors behind him. I can't think of a word better than Hulk-ed his way in, because literally he pried the two doors open and busted his way in. I can only imagine that that's exactly what happens when the Hulk needs tax assistance.
7. Bats at the library
-This one is a little more recent, and yet another opening discovery. While shelving the DVD's I looked up at the ceiling and noticed there was bat hanging next to the light. Crazy birds aside usually I'm not squeemish when it comes to small animals, but at the time my girlish shriek and repeated yelling of my boss's name would suggest otherwise. She thought he was cute. We called Animal Control and he came in with tupperware and a ladder. I went, seriously? That's your bat catching equipment? Not outloud of course, just in my head as I hid in the corner. He put the ladder under where the bat was located, climbed up, placed the tupperware against the ceiling around the bat and shook it until the bat fell into the bowl. He then put a lid on it, climbed down, picked up his ladder and left, shutting me up in the process.
8. "College"
-I have a lot of nicknames for people as you've noticed, and have gained a few myself along the way. My favorite of these is "College" which was given to me by my work big brother. We have a virtual services unit, filled with computer people specifically there to fix things, but whenever there seemed to be a computer problem and he and I were scheduled together he would call me "College" and tell me to go fix it. Which usually I could.
9. Internet down, cellphone reference
-One day last year our internet went down and anything that happens it's a travisty because that's why half of our patrons come to us. They get restless so we do the best we can. The added problem now is that our system is on the cloud so we can't access our library stuff either. This means we have to quick on our feet. During this particular instance wiring had been hit during construction and had to be re-individually spliced so we knew it would be a while. In the meantime I used my Shelver's Curse to find items for people and when that didn't work I looked stuff up on my phone's internet.
10. Bird vs. Glass door
-For some reason bosses always have people train with me. I don't know if it's because I'm young or new or still excited about the library, whatever reason I've trained a ton of people. During one training session I was in youth services when we heard this big THUNK. A bird had flown into the glass door and its feathers were scattered all over the ground. It sat there stunned as were we, trying to figure out what to do. When in doubt, call the guard. We felt bad for laughing while explaining this to the guard but by the time we went over to show him where he was it was gone.
11. 9/11 Fire Trucks Galore
-I was in the back room when one of my volunteers came in and said, "it smells like smoke on second floor." I was about to go confirm this when suddenly the fire alarms went off. 2 hours later we're still outside surrounding the building. We meaning our entire staff - admin included - a bunch of firefighters, and massive patron base all itching to get back on the internet computers. Sad day for them being we closed off second floor due to the smoke smell so they were all re-routed. The best part was when InfoMan decided to get rootbeer icecream from the place across the street. He's sitting there eating icecream in the middle of us just standing around, it was awesome.
12. Food Drive
-One of the joys about being new and active in the library is that you get assigned to a lot of things. One of these was the Food Drive. The first year I was the Padawan with Fearless Leader as my master, the next year I was the leader with my own Padawan learner. Leave it to me to decide we should open the drive up to the public instead of just the staff. After getting that approved we needed even more barrels which meant I had to drive my brother-in-law's beast of a truck around town delivering them to all of the branches. It's harder than it sounds, especially when you're new in town and can't see out of the back window. Anyway, we made it into a competition between branches. The first year it was just the most collected items, my second year we had them make sculptures out of the donated items and then outside judges picked the winner for most creative. My branch won when Fearless Leader and the New Girl created a Very Hungry Caterpillar out of our items.
13. Plant MIA
-There are many quirks at a workplace. One of ours used to be plant placement. We had this volunteer that would come in every few weeks and water our plants. One time she came in and one of the plants was missing. I remember there was a staff-wide email about its whereabouts and everything. One of our employees was currently relocated in our basement and had decided it was dead so she threw it out. Her nickname went from Koha Queen to Plant Killer.
14. TAB Apples to Apples
-I love my TAB kids but my favorite memory with them would probably be our holiday parties - last year in particular. They love to play Apples to Apples the regular addition because they think the junior version is too young for them. This is fine, until they run into a card for Nicolas Cage, Al Pacino, Mike Myers, Georgia O'Keefe, Jacques Cousteau, or even Princess Diana and draw a blank. We started a new rule. If you run into a person you don't know just discard them and draw again. This year they added a new rule for me, even if I know them but I think they won't I have to discard and pick a new one.
15. The Boyfriend
-So it's official. My coworkers now believe my boyfriend is real and not just a figment of my imagination. They can't say it anymore now that they've physically met him. And don't even fake it, I know that's why half of you came to my grad party, you knew he'd be there. The boyfriend has been a hot topic ever since he and I started back up again. And timing-wise it was great because Slim Shady met her now fiance right around the same time. That's when our conversations turned from movies, books, and Harry Potter 20 Questions to boys, every time, all the time. The moments that stick out the most when it comes to the boyfriend both come on Valentine's Day. Him and his damn flowers. It's sweet really. The first year I was in the back room with Girlscout and Info-man when Fearless Leader walks in with a big bouquet. I got out of the way cause I thought she was walking past me to get to Girlscout but she stopped in front of me. Apparently my face has never been so red. I told the boyfriend that my coworkers were giving me crap about him sending me flowers so the next year he hand-delivered them. It was like 5:30 and I was sorting DVDs when I hear Mentor clear her throat. I look up and he's there at the desk with a big bouquet. Sweet. But again, massive amount of crap from coworkers. It's okay, it's worth it.
Off-Desk Adventures
1. Booze Cakes
-That night was like a year in the making. We saw this book called Booze Cakes and thought it was hilarious. Eventually we were like, screw it, we should try it out so one night Fearless Leader and I went over to Slim Shady's apartment and created one. It was a mudslide cake and it was glorious. I left the baking to the pros - I burn soup so yeah - it was a lot of fun. We ate it while watching a marathon of Parks and Rec and I ended up taking a huge hunk of it home with me.
2. Movie Night/Jalapeno Margaritas/Noodlewhatevers
-Not only did we bake but we also saw a lot of movies together, King's Speech, Hunger Games, and This Means War are just a few, not including the ones we watched at Slim Shady's place. We used to eat out a lot as well. I took Slim Shady out for jalapeno margaritas and she hated them with a passion. The next time we went she said, and I quote, "Are you gonna order a gross margarita?" One time we tried this one place and I still can't remember the name of it. I just call it Noodlewhatevers even though noodle is nowhere in the title. It actually has something to do with pickles. I went there a few months ago and texted her that I was at Noodlewhatevers and she knew where I was talking about. It was nice having people my own age so we could do things. Not so much anymore.
3. Barnes and Noble w/ Queen of the Known Universe and Nights out w/ QofA
-But that's okay cause I still have QotKU and the QofA to go out and do things. One time QotKU and I met up at Barnes and Noble after work and joked about the urge to fix their shelving. Then reminded ourselves we didn't work there and it was there problem. We dramatically read summaries from the backs of books and ended up buying a few more than planned. Gave me pause when I looked for a spine label and didn't find one. Not a library. Right. Knew that. QofA and I meet up a lot outside of work as well. Mostly for food and conversation. One of those nights we'll actually make it to a movie.
4. TAB Leader Initiation Night
-And when they're not around apparently I have other options. After a TAB Cosplay Party myself and the other TAB leaders decided to go out for drinks and appetizers. Was fun getting to know them and joking about library stuff. The best part was that the bar we went to was under investigation because the previous week they got busted for strippers on the premises.
5. Inservice Go Fish
-Technically this was off-site at Inservice so I'm including it in this category. QofA and I got back from lunch early and decided to have a rousing game of Go Fish. After which I taught her how to play Old Maid. She kicked my butt. Beginner's luck. Then QotKU jumped in and we played some King's on the Corner.
Conferences
1. NLA 2011 Green Bags and Nametags
-I like to call NLA (Nebraska Library Convention) GNC (Glorified Nerd Convention). We're nerds, we own it. Get used to it. The first NLA conference I ever went to we walked in and they gave us these green bags to put our stuff in. Fearless Leader labeled them as "library swag". They were awesome, especially when everyone left for lunch and half of downtown was carrying them around while the other half wondered if we were in some sort of cult. I love NLA cause I run into all my fun classmates, some of them even present.
2. NLA 2012 The Full Monica/Fake it 'til you make it
-NLA is different when you're a GA. I spent most of my day, well days I was there both days, running all over the place and taking photos of Mizzou alum presenters. It's more awkward than it sounds. 1 because they don't know me so they're confused as to why I'm taking a picture of them and not the other presenters and 2 because you walk in in the middle of their presentation and then leave abruptly after. There are bonuses to being the Library Goddess's GA. You get to meet everyone, including famous authors like Stephanie Bodeen and Mary Downing Hahn. Was a lot of fun, even though it was crazy weather outside.
3. NLA 2013 Truck Yeah
-Waking up at 4:30 and leaving at 5AM makes for a rocky start but it ended up to be a lot of fun. Road with QotKU in our big badass rented truck and the New Guy joined us last minute. We decided we were hot babes - we'd been hit on a lot that week - so it made for an excellent adventure. The conference was good too. Learned about 3D printers, even saw one in action, got lost on the way to lunch, listened to some government chick talk about promoting library services, and then ended it listening to some of my cooler classmates present about essential technology for special libraries.
4. Inservice 2013
-I was worried because we only had 1 guest speaker the entire day instead of breakout sessions so if she sucked we'd be stuck with her. She was actually highly entertaining. Here are a few of my favorite quotes:
-"Thank you for cheering for that, people in Minnesota don't even cheer for that anymore." (about Vikings going to championship)
-"You don't call AAA, you call Uncle Ray!"
-"You might read a book! *mumbles* librarians...."
-"Middle class has made alcohol good for you, thank you! Exercise? No thanks, I've got red wine!"
Misc
1. Nicknames
-As you've noticed I have a ton of nicknames. Basically everyone has one and its works cause I'm pretty sure they don't want to be first-named in a blog. Here are a few: Superwoman, BossLady, New Guy, Old New Guy, New Girl, Trainee, Mentor, Girlscout, Cabin Fever, Slim Shady, Info-Man, Library Judge, Reference Queen, Fearless Leader, Super Librarian Status, Koha Queen/Plant Killer, Queen of Three, Queen of the Known Universe, Queen of Awesome, Joe Studley, Sensei, Glee-Loving Boss, LLCoolAide, Little Shelver Boy, Space Cadet (shortened from Sleep-Deprived Space Cadets which is when we're both there and half awake) there are more but I'm blanking. Each one has a story behind it and I love them all.
2. Letter from the mayor
-A year or two ago I got a letter from the mayor for perfect attendance. Remember the I had no life reference? It was true. It has not happened since.
Quotes best left unexplained:
-"Public transportation is sexy..."
-"Show me your chest hair."
-"Do you date?"
-"Yes, I date."
-"Men?"
-"Yes, I date men."
-"You guys okay?"
-"I have hay fever. She's hungover."
-"What's the name of that big blue thing that blocks off the restroom?"
-"A gift from god?"
-"I was actually going for partition or divider, but gift from god works too."
“There’s no crying in Koha.”
Supervisor: "Don't run in the library."
Kid: "I'm jogging!"
Me: "That'll be me in 50 years."
Space Cadet: "But you'll use your inside voice. Unless you're too deaf to hear it."
Fearless Leader: *holding up a copy of Legally Blonde the Musical* THIS is why I hate musicals!
Trainee: "It's like, what's that mean? and then Why are you reading my ass?" about the shorts with words on them.
Slim Shady: "They say it's a psychological thriller. I want to know what that means in the context of ballerinas."
Koha Queen: "I'm way passed bananas."
Girlscout: "My orca is gonna attack your porpoise!"
Reference Queen: "This shirt is older than you are."
Me: “Was it Patience or Fortitude?”
Slim Shady: “I think it was Patience.”
Me: “You don’t know do you?”
Slim Shady: “No idea.” take a picture in front of the lions
LLCoolAide: “Jam hands bring nothing but pain.”
And there you have it. My favorite library moments. I'm sure there are more, and will be more, but I'll save those for post 1500.
On to the music. More of my favorites from 2013:
Troublemaker - Olly Murs
Mama's Broken Heart - Miranda Lambert
Kind of a big deal.
So I debated topics but then it hit me, my top moments at the library of all time.
Well, library system that is since I've worked at two branches.
So, here's a list of my favorite (and not so favorite at the time but now find them amusing) moments since I started back in 2010.
And yes, this post is epically long. Don't worry, you won't have to worry about that again...until post 1500 or 2000 or 2500...
To make it easier to follow I divided them up into categories. They're not really in order of importance, except for the Magnet category. That one is.
Magnet Moments
1. Likes Ass or Jazz
-I have a problem at work. I seem to attract a serious amount of creepers. Slim Shady called me a magnet once and it stuck. "Likes Ass or Jazz" is my number one magnet moment. It goes as follows: I helped a guy find sheet music and asked "can I help you with anything else?" He gave me the once over and I have never said the phrase ever again at work. Instead, now I say "can I help you find anything else?" Anyway, he asked for my number, I said I don't date patrons then went back to work. I thought I had escaped until about 20 minutes later when he showed up to check out at the front desk. While I was busy scanning his sheet music he grabbed a pen and paper and wrote something down then slid it in my direction. I waited until he left to look at the paper. On it was his name - illegible - followed by his number and the phrase "Likes ass or jazz." Needless to say I did not call him. And of course he just happened to be outside when Slim Shady and I walked out to our cars so we pretended to be in deep conversation when passing him and his friends so I wouldn't have to face him.
2. Everything that everybody warned about
-Likes ass or jazz is number one on my list, but it's not the most intense of the group. That honor goes to Tom. Tom is a long story that I will try to sum up in a paragraph. I was working upstairs in the lab when this guy came up and asked about bank phone numbers. He smiled, I smiled, whatever. Anyway, later in the day I was downstairs shelving DVDs when he showed up behind me and asked for my number. Tom is the reason for the no dating patrons rule, just so you know, unfortunately for me that means the rule wasn't in existence yet and he seemed sane so I gave him my number. Turns out he wasn't. My favorite part of the whole experience was going back to the desk and hearing my work brother tell me he was bad news and then another coworker saying that my work brother would know bad news because he used to be bad news himself. Anyway, so we met up after work at a bar, played darts, and it was fun. In fact all was fun until I woke up the next morning with 30 missed calls on my cellphone. I decided then that he was too much for me and ended it over the phone. When he wouldn't listen and continued to call me all day I turned off my phone and later listened to a voicemail saying if I didn't answer he was going to show up at the library the next day and make a scene. Which meant I had to tell my bosses and the guard. That was fun. I also told Second Sister who then called me every hour on the hour for 24 hours just to make sure I wasn't locked in a trunk somewhere. She insisted if he showed up at my apartment that I was supposed to do the "intercom breakup", starting a new trend for breakups everywhere. Needless to say after that I never dated a patron again.
3. Grey shirted foreign guy
-So I had this patron at the work branch who would ask me out and I replied, sorry I don't date patrons. He then learned that I worked at the home branch and started showing up there and asking me out. I told him the rule applied to patrons systemwide. Then he started talking about marriage and settling down and it became even more awkward. When he showed up the next day at the work branch I told my work brother to not leave me alone with the foreign guy in the grey shirt. About half an hour later I'm helping out this guy who happened to be foreign and wearing a grey shirt, but it wasn't the actual guy, and my work brother shows up out of nowhere, hands me a book and says "take this to the back room." He then took over and when I came back the guy was gone. While I was glad he was watching out for me, it was still amusing because it was the wrong guy.
4. Hey, Little Red Riding Hood
-"Love at the library" is what Slim Shady called this one. This guy was on a computer and wanted to know about dry camping so I helped him find some info yet completely forgot now what dry camping is in the first place. Anyway, I had red hair at the time and he started calling me Little Red Riding Hood. It continued for a week until he stopped coming in.
5. Karaoke Mike
-Mike was a guy who would hit on me every time he came in and I did my best to avoid him but for some reason he was very consistent. During our last encounter he asked me to go karaoking with him and gave me the address to a bar here in town with a time and date. Fortunately I was busy and couldn't go and that was the end of that.
6. Jerry
-True creeper this one. This older guy who would come in and get DVDs and then he'd tell me he'd see me in his dreams. He asked for a picture of me once, it was really awkward.
7. Old Lady Stalker
-Unfortunately it's not only men that follow me around the building. I have a woman that does that too. This one told me her life story while looking for books on Suzanne Somers. While I thought she was being nice I was told she actually has a history of stalking female employees and now whenever she comes in I'm required to leave the area.
8. Commenting Creeper
-While on my way to the back room I passed a drunk guy seating next to the doorway. All the sudden I hear "nice ass..." and kept walking in fear of turning around and having him leer more at me. When I told this to my coworkers in the backroom one of our former aides said she would have cussed him out in Russian. We went back out but he was already gone. Bummer.
-Mike was a guy who would hit on me every time he came in and I did my best to avoid him but for some reason he was very consistent. During our last encounter he asked me to go karaoking with him and gave me the address to a bar here in town with a time and date. Fortunately I was busy and couldn't go and that was the end of that.
6. Jerry
-True creeper this one. This older guy who would come in and get DVDs and then he'd tell me he'd see me in his dreams. He asked for a picture of me once, it was really awkward.
7. Old Lady Stalker
-Unfortunately it's not only men that follow me around the building. I have a woman that does that too. This one told me her life story while looking for books on Suzanne Somers. While I thought she was being nice I was told she actually has a history of stalking female employees and now whenever she comes in I'm required to leave the area.
8. Commenting Creeper
-While on my way to the back room I passed a drunk guy seating next to the doorway. All the sudden I hear "nice ass..." and kept walking in fear of turning around and having him leer more at me. When I told this to my coworkers in the backroom one of our former aides said she would have cussed him out in Russian. We went back out but he was already gone. Bummer.
Incident Reports
1. Fortune Teller
-We have these things called Incident Reports that we have to fill out when anything bad happens and once they're submitted they get emailed to the rest of the staff. By bad I mean patrons showing drunk, people throwing fits, just anything that is bad enough that needs to go on record. I've filled out quite a few of these throughout my three years but one sticks out in particular. A lot of the time people that call in want phone numbers. This is fine, we have lots of resources, it just takes time to find them. One lady called in wanting personal numbers and when I couldn't find them fast enough she started to insult me repeatedly. I did my best and eventually found the ones she was looking for and that's when she became all sweet and said she wanted to tell me something. Apparently, she could tell from the way that I spoke that within the next two weeks I was going to find a mate. Also, the world was going to end so I needed to right all my wrongs and never take advantage of anyone. Because of her threatening nature earlier in the call I had to write up an incident report and include her ramblings of my finding a mate within the next two weeks. Needless to say I got a lot of responses about that one. Coincidentally, less than 2 weeks later I met Tom...
2. The code
-We have this code - I can't tell you what it is cause that would negate the code - but we have a code that we use when we're in trouble at the desk and need to get away. We call someone at a different desk and say the code or sometimes when people notice we're having trouble they come and take over and send us to find the code. There was once such instance that stands out the most. Queen of the Known Universe and I were working in the lab when this guy came up to the desk and kept asking me all these personal questions. I remember it was around Thanksgiving and he basically invited himself over to my house for Thanksgiving. QoftKU happened to be there so she went out into the stacks and using her cellphone she called the desk. I answered and then acted like I needed to go find something for her. She then went to the desk to cover. After a few minutes he realized I wasn't coming back so then he started to talk to her. I saw this from the stacks so I decided to call her desk from my cellphone and she used that as an escape method as well. We met up in the middle of the nonfiction and watched as he stood by the desk waiting for us to come back. When he finally realized we weren't coming back he left and we returned to the desk.
Home Branch Fun
1. "I know this is ridiculous but..."
-My first day of work at the home branch, and for the library system in general, was spent in the back room. We had these plastic bags that we gave out for Summer Reading and apparently the legal department decided they were dangerous because if a kid put it over their head they would suffocate. I can still remember Glee-Loving Boss's voice when he said, "I know this is ridiculous..." and handed me a 3 hole punch so I could punch holes in the bottom of each of our plastic bags.
2. Dirt System
-Space Cadet and I were having a conversation about shifting stuff around the library. I said something like, "what happens if I just move it?" and she responded with something like, "you don't have the power to do that you're dirt. no, you're below dirt mining for minerals." This is back when I was an aide. I actually enjoyed that immensely because for the next 3 and a half years I got to say, "she called me dirt" in a little kid whiney voice and then she felt all fake bad about it. It actually led us to creating what we called the Dirt System. It represented the library's hierarchy and goes something like this:
Director - Sun
Assistant Director - Moon
Branch Manager - Clouds
Admin Staff - Sky
Librarians - Trees - though Sensei wanted to be a shrub
LA3's - Grass
LA2's - Dirt
Aides - Below dirt, mining for minerals aka Subdirt
I was excited because I was able to bring it back this week. I asked if I was still dirt if I had my Master's degree.
3. Flu Mist Nasal Spray
-Every year I get a flyer for Flu Mist Nasal Spray sent from an anonymous source through interdepartmental mail and it's because of this incident. I hate needles. If you know me at all you know that already. I pass out in their very presence. I told this to Glee-Loving Boss when he talked about getting a flu shot. He said that I should get the shot or I would get sick and I said I would rather get the flu than get the shot. At that very moment Oldest Sister decided to walk in, cause she used to come to the home branch all the time back when I was there. Glee-Loving Boss relayed this story on to her and she agreed that I needed to get a flu shot and that she would go with me just to hold me down. That's when Glee-Loving Boss said that they now make a nasal spray that works just as well. I still said I would rather get the flu and somehow majestically escaped getting the shot, I think Oldest Sister got too busy and distracted, yay. Anyway, I forget about it and then every year around December in the mail comes an ad. I have them hanging all over my desk and locker.
4. Shirley's Face
-You know how some people have their volume turned up really loud on their phone and even though you don't want to hear their conversations you do anyway? This happened once at the home branch when I was helping our volunteer with the self-check. There was a woman on the computer next to the self-check and he phone rang. When she answered if you could hear the gentlemen on the other side of the line say VERY LOUDLY "I've got diarrhea bad!" I will never forget the look on Shirley's face when she turned and looked at me. Horrified is one word to describe it and the expression is forever burned into my brain.
5. Screw the fan, you want an e-reader!
-This one came after the Christmas when e-readers were THE hot gift and we would get calls at the library every hour asking how they could download e-books from our catalog. We were told that instead of avoiding talking about e-readers with our customers that we needed to embrace them and be enthusiastic about them because they were the future. During a particularly amusing Tuesday night Space Cadet and I really took this one to heart repeatedly throwing out the phrases "yay e-readers!" and "we're enthusiastic about e-readers!" We then got into a discussion about how her husband is very handyman-like and fixes things around the house. One thing he was fixing was the ceiling fan. Apparently the lights flickered - which he fixed - but then the fan stopped working even when you pulled the string so I was like, "well maybe you should get a new fan", and she was like "it is new!" So I yelled "Well then screw the fan! You want an e-reader!" She died.
6. Sea cow vs. Snow leopard
-This is another Space Cadet Tuesday night. We used to work together every Tuesday night, Tuesday nights were my favorite cause I was only there for 2 hours. It was Space Cadet at first, then the Queen of Awesome, and Joe Studley, it was always a lot of fun. Anyway, when it was slow Space Cadet and I would have debates. One famous one was who would win in a fight a sea cow or a snow leopard. Random I'm aware, but we read that sea cows were extinct and she had recently had a dream with a snow leopard in it. I have no idea why. Anyway, our conclusion was that a sea cow would win because they're too big to leave the water and the snow leopard would never last that long under water.
7. 9/11 Parking Lot Adventure
-Why is it that all the bad things happen when you're alone in the building? The home branch is a particularly small library and sometimes there's only 1 person there to close. One night about 5 minutes to close a woman came in crying, hands all scratched up and covered in blood. She had tripped over a curb in our parking lot and wanted to know if she could use our bathroom to clean herself up. She was an older lady so after she returned from the bathroom I helped her apply some bandages and asked if I could help her to her car. She seemed really shook up so I called Superwoman and asked what to do. She came over to the library and we decided to call 911. An ambulance and fire truck came and checked her out. She ended up leaving in the ambulance for further tests.
8. "You looked all serious." "I am serious, I gotta get rid of this 7Up!"
-Another Space Cadet reference. One morning she came up to me looking all serious and I thought I was in trouble. She proceeded to tell me how she inherited this box of 7Up and wanted to know if I would take it. I said sure and then said I was worried because she "looked all serious." She responded, "I am serious, I gotta get rid of this 7Up!"
9. Sunny D Utility Belt
-When I used to work mornings at the home branch I would bring a bottle of juice with me for breakfast. I was prone to leaving it somewhere while shelving. Queen of Awesome told me that I should get a utility belt to put it in so I wouldn't forget it.
10. Dead limbs
-You know how sometimes when your cat bites you your limb goes numb? Anyone? Anyone? No it's not a good sign, but it only happened once and eventually came back so it was fine. The only problem with that was in the meantime I had to go to work and on this particular day Superwoman needed me to get on a step stool and hang up artwork. This may be easy for a person with two arms, but when one of those arms is dead you're left trying to figure out how you're supposed to hold up the picture above your head along with the stapler and then how you're going to staple with the stapler. I ended up using the dead arm to hold the artwork and stapler to the wall then I bashed the stapler with the good arm. Skills.
11. Contents: Weed
-As an aide you do a lot of boxing. Donations mostly, but every few months the branches run what they call "weed lists" which are lists of items that need to be weeded from the collection. Pulling the items was not a problem but what made me laugh was the signs we had to tape to the sides of the boxes to make them recognizable. Contents: Weed
12. Shelver's Curse
-As an aide you also do a ton of shelving. You are the backbone of the library whether they like it or not. Thankfully when I was one I had a very supportive crew with me. Anyway, since you shelve repeatedly you get to know the call numbers and their locations. I started calling it the Shelver's Curse but it's actually quite useful when you're out in the stacks. The only problem is that I was a shelver at the home branch and learned my call numbers and locations from there so now when I need to locate an item I visualize the shelves at the home branch and judge what the call number is by where it's shelved in my mind. 2 years after retiring as a shelver at that branch.
But, if someone asks,
Computers are 005's,
Encyclopedia's are 031's,
Bibles are 220's,
Finance are 330's,
True Crime 364.152-154,
Foreign languages are 400's,
Math and Science crap is 500's,
Health and exercise is about 612-620,
Car manuals 629's,
Gardens are 635,
Animals are 636,
Cookbooks start at 640 and go through about 649 which is when you'll hit the
resume books at 650.14,
after that it's knitting and sewing in the early 700's,
Comics and how to draw stuff is in the 741's-745's,
Decorating is 747's,
780's are music,
790's are sport stuff,
800's are mostly classic literature stuff and
some comedy around 817,
all the travel stuff is in the 900's,
US travel is like 917s,
917.82 or 917.822 is Nebraska central.
For some reason you get baby names at 929. No idea why.
Then you've got US and world history after that in the late 900s,
And then it's all biographies from there.
13. The Lost in Transit Band
-We had a merry band of coworkers so we once decided we should start a band called the Lost in Transit - that's another one of the lists you run when you're an aide. We all played different instruments so we figured we had it all covered. QofA plays flute, Glee-loving boss plays trumpet, Sensei plays piano, I play guitar and Joe Studley was our lead singer. We were very different people but it seemed to work. In fact, we all had very different majors - genealogy, theology, nutrition, english, and business but that just helped us to be better as a unit.
14. "She says I should get a sticker. Or a gold star. Or a pizza."
-Space Cadet loves pizza. In fact we used to order pizza and eat it at our staff meetings then she and I would debate about who in town had the best pizza and breadsticks. I did well on something, I think it had something to do with the point system, and Space Cadet told me I needed to tell Superwoman that I deserved a prize. So, I said the above quote and she hit me with, "Oh good grief, she would say pizza." In the end I got a snowflake sticker to put on my nametag. The kind we gave away at the desk that she didn't know about until she showed up that morning and said, "hey cool snowflake stickers."
15. But I am shy!
-If you knew me before the library you know that I'm very antisocial. Or was very antisocial. And shy.
We were scanning books and Joe Studley claimed that I can't be a shy person because I was in drama in high school and I direct a kids camp and I sing and I'm on YouTube. I yelled, "But I AM shy!" And with seriously perfect timing Glee-Loving Boss walked in and said "Since when?!"
16. "Are you free tonight? Do you need to call your mother?"
-So Superwoman and I give each other a tremendous about of crap. It works for us, but it started a long long time ago. The first of which that I can remember was this. She asked me to cover a night shift, and since I didn't have a life - at that point that is - I said yes, not realizing that my mother had this family thing planned. Last minute I called SW and she covered for me, however, the next time she asked me to work late she preceded it with "Are you free tonight? Do you need to call your mother?"
Work Branch Fun
1. Bird in the back room
-This is probably the funniest memory of them all cause I don't think I've laughed so hard, after you know screaming really loudly in a corner that is. So there's this fake bird somewhere in the building and I know this because it was on Superwoman's chair and I screamed bloody murder when I first ran into it. A few weeks later I went into the back room and saw what looked like that fake bird sitting on a cart of books to be checked in. Thinking that Superwoman was pulling a prank on me I approached the bird and then...it moved. I went to the guard and told him about it and he went with me to get it back outside. I should mention that the guard on staff that day was an elderly gentlemen who was a big guy and used to be in the military. I pointed out the bird, closed the door behind me and hid in the corner. The guard noticed that the delivery man had left the door open and that's how it must have gotten in. He then decided that the best way to get the bird back out the door was to herd it in that direction so he raised his arms, started screaming, and ran at it. The bird decided that instead of flying back outside it would fly at my head instead. So I'm crouched over in the corner screaming bloody murder while the bird flies at my head and the guard chasing it around the back room screaming and waving his arms the whole time - reminder this is a big ex-military guy - eventually the bird flew out the door but not before making a mess everywhere. Me, not wanting to touch any of that, thanked the guard and went out to tell my boss running into my coworkers first. Apparently they heard the screams, so still living that one down. I found BossLady and showed her the mess the bird had made all over the place. She said she'd clean it up so I followed her around the room and handed her sanitizing wipes which she decided to chase me around the room with after. Mean. "Scared the crap out of me." "Scared the crap out of it too."
2. Point System
-Since I started right before Summer Reading began my training was being thrown to the wolves. And I survived so I'm stronger for it. Since she didn't get a chance to train me properly Superwoman used to schedule herself with me and quiz me on things. This is where the Point System started. I started at 0 and have worked my way up and down to 156.58 and I'm stuck there. She did give me points for graduating but I think it was like 2 so barely. 156.58 is great, except that my Mom has 150 points and Space Cadet has 175. These are my own fault. Space Cadet got 150 points for sending an email with an attachment which I showed her how to do. Then got another 25 later on cause Superwoman knows I'm gullible and competitive. Mom got 150 cause she sent an email with an attachment and I relayed that to Superwoman. Like I said, gullible and competitive.
3. "Tell them you worship snakes."
-This one came from Cabin Fever about Tom. She was the first one who responded to my Fortune Teller Incident Report and then told me I had to be mean to Tom or he would follow me to the corners of hell. I asked her what I could do to make creepers stop following me and she said she tells telemarketers or religious people that come to her door that she worships snakes cause that usually shuts them up long enough for her to hang up or close the door. She also said I should find something unattractive about myself and emphasize it when creepers are around so they'll leave me alone. I replied - too loudly - "what's unattractive about me?" and another coworker walked by and asked if I was having a bad day.
4. What Was I Thinking: The Hindsight Bias
-Another Cabin Fever reference, because of the multitude of bad dating experiences and just awkward experiences in general we have compiled we decided we should one day write a book entitled: What Was I Thinking: The Hindsight Bias. My first chapter will be called "So I dated a conman - dating mistakes, mishaps, and malfunctions".
5. Lottery Debate
-Every few weeks the Queen of the Known Universe buys lottery tickets that we all go in on. We're convinced that one day we will win it big and don't feel bad now that we know that admin does their own batch buying. We've debated as to what we would buy if we were to win. QoftKU wants a gulfstream stocked with cowboys and firemen, Old New Guy has decided on a yacht with a helipad so we can come visit, and I'm still working on my list of items. It has to be something that goes with the group theme and not something lame like a mansion with a nice sound system. I'm thinking something to do with trains would go over well with my boyfriend.
6. Hulk Taxes
-Every year the library offers tax assistance. One year we did it on Sundays and we open late on Sundays so it didn't start until 1PM. InfoMan, myself and an aide were opening the main floor when suddenly the front doors were Hulk-ed open and a man came in and headed toward the elevator. Infoman explained that we were closed - the lights were still off - and that he needed to go back outside and wait. The man insisted that he needed to be first in line to get his taxes done and proceeded to walk to the elevator. Infoman insisted he needed to wait outside and followed him closing the doors behind him. I can't think of a word better than Hulk-ed his way in, because literally he pried the two doors open and busted his way in. I can only imagine that that's exactly what happens when the Hulk needs tax assistance.
7. Bats at the library
-This one is a little more recent, and yet another opening discovery. While shelving the DVD's I looked up at the ceiling and noticed there was bat hanging next to the light. Crazy birds aside usually I'm not squeemish when it comes to small animals, but at the time my girlish shriek and repeated yelling of my boss's name would suggest otherwise. She thought he was cute. We called Animal Control and he came in with tupperware and a ladder. I went, seriously? That's your bat catching equipment? Not outloud of course, just in my head as I hid in the corner. He put the ladder under where the bat was located, climbed up, placed the tupperware against the ceiling around the bat and shook it until the bat fell into the bowl. He then put a lid on it, climbed down, picked up his ladder and left, shutting me up in the process.
8. "College"
-I have a lot of nicknames for people as you've noticed, and have gained a few myself along the way. My favorite of these is "College" which was given to me by my work big brother. We have a virtual services unit, filled with computer people specifically there to fix things, but whenever there seemed to be a computer problem and he and I were scheduled together he would call me "College" and tell me to go fix it. Which usually I could.
9. Internet down, cellphone reference
-One day last year our internet went down and anything that happens it's a travisty because that's why half of our patrons come to us. They get restless so we do the best we can. The added problem now is that our system is on the cloud so we can't access our library stuff either. This means we have to quick on our feet. During this particular instance wiring had been hit during construction and had to be re-individually spliced so we knew it would be a while. In the meantime I used my Shelver's Curse to find items for people and when that didn't work I looked stuff up on my phone's internet.
10. Bird vs. Glass door
-For some reason bosses always have people train with me. I don't know if it's because I'm young or new or still excited about the library, whatever reason I've trained a ton of people. During one training session I was in youth services when we heard this big THUNK. A bird had flown into the glass door and its feathers were scattered all over the ground. It sat there stunned as were we, trying to figure out what to do. When in doubt, call the guard. We felt bad for laughing while explaining this to the guard but by the time we went over to show him where he was it was gone.
11. 9/11 Fire Trucks Galore
-I was in the back room when one of my volunteers came in and said, "it smells like smoke on second floor." I was about to go confirm this when suddenly the fire alarms went off. 2 hours later we're still outside surrounding the building. We meaning our entire staff - admin included - a bunch of firefighters, and massive patron base all itching to get back on the internet computers. Sad day for them being we closed off second floor due to the smoke smell so they were all re-routed. The best part was when InfoMan decided to get rootbeer icecream from the place across the street. He's sitting there eating icecream in the middle of us just standing around, it was awesome.
12. Food Drive
-One of the joys about being new and active in the library is that you get assigned to a lot of things. One of these was the Food Drive. The first year I was the Padawan with Fearless Leader as my master, the next year I was the leader with my own Padawan learner. Leave it to me to decide we should open the drive up to the public instead of just the staff. After getting that approved we needed even more barrels which meant I had to drive my brother-in-law's beast of a truck around town delivering them to all of the branches. It's harder than it sounds, especially when you're new in town and can't see out of the back window. Anyway, we made it into a competition between branches. The first year it was just the most collected items, my second year we had them make sculptures out of the donated items and then outside judges picked the winner for most creative. My branch won when Fearless Leader and the New Girl created a Very Hungry Caterpillar out of our items.
13. Plant MIA
-There are many quirks at a workplace. One of ours used to be plant placement. We had this volunteer that would come in every few weeks and water our plants. One time she came in and one of the plants was missing. I remember there was a staff-wide email about its whereabouts and everything. One of our employees was currently relocated in our basement and had decided it was dead so she threw it out. Her nickname went from Koha Queen to Plant Killer.
14. TAB Apples to Apples
-I love my TAB kids but my favorite memory with them would probably be our holiday parties - last year in particular. They love to play Apples to Apples the regular addition because they think the junior version is too young for them. This is fine, until they run into a card for Nicolas Cage, Al Pacino, Mike Myers, Georgia O'Keefe, Jacques Cousteau, or even Princess Diana and draw a blank. We started a new rule. If you run into a person you don't know just discard them and draw again. This year they added a new rule for me, even if I know them but I think they won't I have to discard and pick a new one.
15. The Boyfriend
-So it's official. My coworkers now believe my boyfriend is real and not just a figment of my imagination. They can't say it anymore now that they've physically met him. And don't even fake it, I know that's why half of you came to my grad party, you knew he'd be there. The boyfriend has been a hot topic ever since he and I started back up again. And timing-wise it was great because Slim Shady met her now fiance right around the same time. That's when our conversations turned from movies, books, and Harry Potter 20 Questions to boys, every time, all the time. The moments that stick out the most when it comes to the boyfriend both come on Valentine's Day. Him and his damn flowers. It's sweet really. The first year I was in the back room with Girlscout and Info-man when Fearless Leader walks in with a big bouquet. I got out of the way cause I thought she was walking past me to get to Girlscout but she stopped in front of me. Apparently my face has never been so red. I told the boyfriend that my coworkers were giving me crap about him sending me flowers so the next year he hand-delivered them. It was like 5:30 and I was sorting DVDs when I hear Mentor clear her throat. I look up and he's there at the desk with a big bouquet. Sweet. But again, massive amount of crap from coworkers. It's okay, it's worth it.
Off-Desk Adventures
1. Booze Cakes
-That night was like a year in the making. We saw this book called Booze Cakes and thought it was hilarious. Eventually we were like, screw it, we should try it out so one night Fearless Leader and I went over to Slim Shady's apartment and created one. It was a mudslide cake and it was glorious. I left the baking to the pros - I burn soup so yeah - it was a lot of fun. We ate it while watching a marathon of Parks and Rec and I ended up taking a huge hunk of it home with me.
2. Movie Night/Jalapeno Margaritas/Noodlewhatevers
-Not only did we bake but we also saw a lot of movies together, King's Speech, Hunger Games, and This Means War are just a few, not including the ones we watched at Slim Shady's place. We used to eat out a lot as well. I took Slim Shady out for jalapeno margaritas and she hated them with a passion. The next time we went she said, and I quote, "Are you gonna order a gross margarita?" One time we tried this one place and I still can't remember the name of it. I just call it Noodlewhatevers even though noodle is nowhere in the title. It actually has something to do with pickles. I went there a few months ago and texted her that I was at Noodlewhatevers and she knew where I was talking about. It was nice having people my own age so we could do things. Not so much anymore.
3. Barnes and Noble w/ Queen of the Known Universe and Nights out w/ QofA
-But that's okay cause I still have QotKU and the QofA to go out and do things. One time QotKU and I met up at Barnes and Noble after work and joked about the urge to fix their shelving. Then reminded ourselves we didn't work there and it was there problem. We dramatically read summaries from the backs of books and ended up buying a few more than planned. Gave me pause when I looked for a spine label and didn't find one. Not a library. Right. Knew that. QofA and I meet up a lot outside of work as well. Mostly for food and conversation. One of those nights we'll actually make it to a movie.
4. TAB Leader Initiation Night
-And when they're not around apparently I have other options. After a TAB Cosplay Party myself and the other TAB leaders decided to go out for drinks and appetizers. Was fun getting to know them and joking about library stuff. The best part was that the bar we went to was under investigation because the previous week they got busted for strippers on the premises.
5. Inservice Go Fish
-Technically this was off-site at Inservice so I'm including it in this category. QofA and I got back from lunch early and decided to have a rousing game of Go Fish. After which I taught her how to play Old Maid. She kicked my butt. Beginner's luck. Then QotKU jumped in and we played some King's on the Corner.
Conferences
1. NLA 2011 Green Bags and Nametags
-I like to call NLA (Nebraska Library Convention) GNC (Glorified Nerd Convention). We're nerds, we own it. Get used to it. The first NLA conference I ever went to we walked in and they gave us these green bags to put our stuff in. Fearless Leader labeled them as "library swag". They were awesome, especially when everyone left for lunch and half of downtown was carrying them around while the other half wondered if we were in some sort of cult. I love NLA cause I run into all my fun classmates, some of them even present.
2. NLA 2012 The Full Monica/Fake it 'til you make it
-NLA is different when you're a GA. I spent most of my day, well days I was there both days, running all over the place and taking photos of Mizzou alum presenters. It's more awkward than it sounds. 1 because they don't know me so they're confused as to why I'm taking a picture of them and not the other presenters and 2 because you walk in in the middle of their presentation and then leave abruptly after. There are bonuses to being the Library Goddess's GA. You get to meet everyone, including famous authors like Stephanie Bodeen and Mary Downing Hahn. Was a lot of fun, even though it was crazy weather outside.
3. NLA 2013 Truck Yeah
-Waking up at 4:30 and leaving at 5AM makes for a rocky start but it ended up to be a lot of fun. Road with QotKU in our big badass rented truck and the New Guy joined us last minute. We decided we were hot babes - we'd been hit on a lot that week - so it made for an excellent adventure. The conference was good too. Learned about 3D printers, even saw one in action, got lost on the way to lunch, listened to some government chick talk about promoting library services, and then ended it listening to some of my cooler classmates present about essential technology for special libraries.
4. Inservice 2013
-I was worried because we only had 1 guest speaker the entire day instead of breakout sessions so if she sucked we'd be stuck with her. She was actually highly entertaining. Here are a few of my favorite quotes:
-"Thank you for cheering for that, people in Minnesota don't even cheer for that anymore." (about Vikings going to championship)
-"You don't call AAA, you call Uncle Ray!"
-"You might read a book! *mumbles* librarians...."
-"Middle class has made alcohol good for you, thank you! Exercise? No thanks, I've got red wine!"
Misc
1. Nicknames
-As you've noticed I have a ton of nicknames. Basically everyone has one and its works cause I'm pretty sure they don't want to be first-named in a blog. Here are a few: Superwoman, BossLady, New Guy, Old New Guy, New Girl, Trainee, Mentor, Girlscout, Cabin Fever, Slim Shady, Info-Man, Library Judge, Reference Queen, Fearless Leader, Super Librarian Status, Koha Queen/Plant Killer, Queen of Three, Queen of the Known Universe, Queen of Awesome, Joe Studley, Sensei, Glee-Loving Boss, LLCoolAide, Little Shelver Boy, Space Cadet (shortened from Sleep-Deprived Space Cadets which is when we're both there and half awake) there are more but I'm blanking. Each one has a story behind it and I love them all.
2. Letter from the mayor
-A year or two ago I got a letter from the mayor for perfect attendance. Remember the I had no life reference? It was true. It has not happened since.
Quotes best left unexplained:
-"Public transportation is sexy..."
-"Show me your chest hair."
-"Do you date?"
-"Yes, I date."
-"Men?"
-"Yes, I date men."
-"You guys okay?"
-"I have hay fever. She's hungover."
-"What's the name of that big blue thing that blocks off the restroom?"
-"A gift from god?"
-"I was actually going for partition or divider, but gift from god works too."
“There’s no crying in Koha.”
Supervisor: "Don't run in the library."
Kid: "I'm jogging!"
Me: "That'll be me in 50 years."
Space Cadet: "But you'll use your inside voice. Unless you're too deaf to hear it."
Fearless Leader: *holding up a copy of Legally Blonde the Musical* THIS is why I hate musicals!
Trainee: "It's like, what's that mean? and then Why are you reading my ass?" about the shorts with words on them.
Slim Shady: "They say it's a psychological thriller. I want to know what that means in the context of ballerinas."
Koha Queen: "I'm way passed bananas."
Girlscout: "My orca is gonna attack your porpoise!"
Reference Queen: "This shirt is older than you are."
Me: “Was it Patience or Fortitude?”
Slim Shady: “I think it was Patience.”
Me: “You don’t know do you?”
Slim Shady: “No idea.” take a picture in front of the lions
LLCoolAide: “Jam hands bring nothing but pain.”
And there you have it. My favorite library moments. I'm sure there are more, and will be more, but I'll save those for post 1500.
On to the music. More of my favorites from 2013:
Troublemaker - Olly Murs
Mama's Broken Heart - Miranda Lambert
Sunday, January 5, 2014
If I fall for you I'll never recover, If I fall for you I'll never be the same.
Post #999
Alright, I'm gonna keep this post short because today was super slow and not a lot happened, but also because I'm already starting on tomorrow's post.
It's gonna be epic, so tune in.
It's actually inspired by events of today.
I have a new stalker that always comes to my desk to ask for stuff and then lingers after every transaction.
It's super awkward but apparently he does it to BossLady too so I'm not completely alone.
He keeps asking me for my name every time he comes in and always has to track me down to say hi, even if I'm like youth services or no where near him whatsoever.
And I feel bad avoiding him cause maybe he's just a nice guy, but he seems too nice and it's creeping me out.
Anyway, so I was thinking about that and previous encounters that Slim Shady so lovingly dubbed my "magnet moments" and came up with the topic of tomorrow's 1000th post.
My Top Library Moments Of All Time.
So if you've worked with me at some point tune in, I'm sure you'll be in there cause the list is huge.
To be fair it has been 3 years, well, more than 3 years now, more like 3 and a half cause I started in May of 2010, so there's a lot to cover.
If you're a frequent reader of the blog you've probably heard of a few but this post will include all my top moments so I'm excited.
That's really all I got for today. It was freezing so no one was there all morning. Like the New Guy and I started in the lab and usually there's a line to get on to the computers...we looked at the clock 10AM, no one, 10:10AM, no one, 10:15AM, no one, 10:20AM, one guy.
We thought the doors were broken or something, but apparently not. It's just that damn cold.
And tomorrow's gonna be worse.
Thankfully I don't go in until noon so it'll be a little warmer than in the morning.
They talked about closing the schools tomorrow because of the cold. Probably a good idea, I wouldn't want my kid walking to school in negative temperatures.
Okay, on to the music, then back to tomorrow's post.
More of my favorites from 2013:
I Love It - Icona Pop
Love Somebody - Maroon 5
out.
Alright, I'm gonna keep this post short because today was super slow and not a lot happened, but also because I'm already starting on tomorrow's post.
It's gonna be epic, so tune in.
It's actually inspired by events of today.
I have a new stalker that always comes to my desk to ask for stuff and then lingers after every transaction.
It's super awkward but apparently he does it to BossLady too so I'm not completely alone.
He keeps asking me for my name every time he comes in and always has to track me down to say hi, even if I'm like youth services or no where near him whatsoever.
And I feel bad avoiding him cause maybe he's just a nice guy, but he seems too nice and it's creeping me out.
Anyway, so I was thinking about that and previous encounters that Slim Shady so lovingly dubbed my "magnet moments" and came up with the topic of tomorrow's 1000th post.
My Top Library Moments Of All Time.
So if you've worked with me at some point tune in, I'm sure you'll be in there cause the list is huge.
To be fair it has been 3 years, well, more than 3 years now, more like 3 and a half cause I started in May of 2010, so there's a lot to cover.
If you're a frequent reader of the blog you've probably heard of a few but this post will include all my top moments so I'm excited.
That's really all I got for today. It was freezing so no one was there all morning. Like the New Guy and I started in the lab and usually there's a line to get on to the computers...we looked at the clock 10AM, no one, 10:10AM, no one, 10:15AM, no one, 10:20AM, one guy.
We thought the doors were broken or something, but apparently not. It's just that damn cold.
And tomorrow's gonna be worse.
Thankfully I don't go in until noon so it'll be a little warmer than in the morning.
They talked about closing the schools tomorrow because of the cold. Probably a good idea, I wouldn't want my kid walking to school in negative temperatures.
Okay, on to the music, then back to tomorrow's post.
More of my favorites from 2013:
I Love It - Icona Pop
Love Somebody - Maroon 5
out.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
maybe it was memphis.
I hate it when creepers make up excuses to talk to me at the desk.
Though tonight's actually rather amusing because he had really bad timing.
Meaning Wordie and Queen of the Known Universe were there.
He looked around my age - anyway, comes up to the desk and goes, "how long have you lived her."
and of course I'm not gonna answer that so I ask why.
He claims that he just moved to the area and he wants to know where to meet new people.
Since I'm boring and don't go places I don't know the answer to that question so I turn to Wordie and ask, "Hey Wordie, what's a good place to meet people?"
and the look on the dude's face was hysterical. He went from all flirty to "aw crap."
Like he wasn't actually looking for an answer to that question but now he's stuck at the desk listening to people list off possible places.
Me not being one of them.
Queen of the Known Universe made it a point to say, "but you have an out-of-town boyfriend" letting him know that I'm not on the market - it was humorous.
So that was the highlight of the day.
I honestly don't know how the day flew by that fast. I did a wellness survey in the morning, used the copier and guillotine in the afternoon and worked on the desk in between.
After work the boyfriend came up. We watched The Voice.
I know, isn't he sweet.
Aaannd as I hoped, tonight's was much better than last nights. Blake's country team rocks and Shakira's got Sasha so she'll be in for the finals.
All 16 of the artists have performed the votes will be counted and then tomorrow night is the results show. Two artists from each team with the most votes stay and then the coach gets to save one other but the 4th goes home leading us into next week's top 12 performances.
After that I think they're going back to the competition as a whole like last year so anyone can go home regardless of team.
I think, at least.
I liked that last year. It didn't matter who's team you were on. Before the top four were always one member from each team but you lose quality singers because too many good ones were on one team.
Thought last year there were a lot more singers as well cause they went from 12 on each team to 16....now they're back to 12 that was far too many.
Alright, enough with the ramblings, on to the music.
Here are my favorites from tonight.
Maybe It Was Memphis - Danielle Bradbery
Shakira said it best, "holy crap."
I haven't heard this song in like a decade. Back when I still actually listened to country music.
But that's also back when there was actual country music to be listened to.
Oh Darling - Sasha Allen
Hard to top Juliet Simms' cover from season two but this definitely comes close.
so this next one wasn't as fantastic as these previous two but i feel i must post it because it's a family thing.
Meet In The Middle - Justin Rivers
and since apparently you find my family stories amusing here's another.
although i'm pretty sure I've posted it on here already.
Our family changes the words to songs frequently but this is the most famous.
anyway, so the refrain that they sing goes like this:
I'd start walking your way,
You'd start walking mine.
We'd meet in the middle
'Neath that old Georgia pine.
We'd gain a lot of ground
Cause we'd both give a little.
Ain't no road too long
When you meet in the middle.
but our version goes like this:
I start walking your way,
You sit on the couch.
We meet in the middle
Because I'm such a grouch.
We gain a lot of ground,
Cause we both eat a little.
You are the queen,
But I'm, I'm just little.
except when Second Sister sang it she sings:
You start walking my way,
I sit on the couch.
We meet in the middle
Because you're such a grouch
We gain a lot of ground,
Cause we both eat a little.
I am the queen,
But you, you're just little.
and points at me.
thanks for that btw.
My guess for tomorrow's results are:
For Adam - Amber Carrington and Sarah Simmons will be saved and that Adam will save Judith Hill sending Caroline home - which would suck cause i love her.
For Blake - Danielle will definitely be safe, along with Holly I'm hoping. He'll probably save the Swon Brothers sending Justin home.
For Shakira - Sasha is safe, no question along with probably Karina, I'm hoping at least. She'll save Garrett.
And then Usher - no question that Michelle is safe but the rest is a complete toss-up. I'm thinking VEDO will be safe and he'll save Josiah. Even though he completely sucked and Cathia is much better.
Enough about that, DID YOU WATCH SPLASH?!
okay *spoiler alert* but dude, did you see Nicole land on her back?! that had to hurt.
I picked Rory and Drake from the start so I'm glad they finished 1,3 and Nicole definitely deserved to make it to the finals, she was a major surprise.
And it was ironic that she needed saving by the lifeguards with those big red floatie things since the role everything knows her from is Baywatch where she played a lifeguard and saved people with those big red floatie things.
Drake turned into kind of a jerk toward the end of the season so I'm glad Rory pulled it off and got the trophy. It was cool to see all the stars come back and dive again.
As dumb as this concept is I'm still hoping for a second season.
Cause it's surprisingly addicting.
And I'm curious as to who would be brave enough after seeing all these injuries to join it for a second season.
Alright, I'm gonna crash. Already midnight and I'm attempting to stop going to bed at 2 cause it's messing with my head.
Though tonight's actually rather amusing because he had really bad timing.
Meaning Wordie and Queen of the Known Universe were there.
He looked around my age - anyway, comes up to the desk and goes, "how long have you lived her."
and of course I'm not gonna answer that so I ask why.
He claims that he just moved to the area and he wants to know where to meet new people.
Since I'm boring and don't go places I don't know the answer to that question so I turn to Wordie and ask, "Hey Wordie, what's a good place to meet people?"
and the look on the dude's face was hysterical. He went from all flirty to "aw crap."
Like he wasn't actually looking for an answer to that question but now he's stuck at the desk listening to people list off possible places.
Me not being one of them.
Queen of the Known Universe made it a point to say, "but you have an out-of-town boyfriend" letting him know that I'm not on the market - it was humorous.
So that was the highlight of the day.
I honestly don't know how the day flew by that fast. I did a wellness survey in the morning, used the copier and guillotine in the afternoon and worked on the desk in between.
After work the boyfriend came up. We watched The Voice.
I know, isn't he sweet.
Aaannd as I hoped, tonight's was much better than last nights. Blake's country team rocks and Shakira's got Sasha so she'll be in for the finals.
All 16 of the artists have performed the votes will be counted and then tomorrow night is the results show. Two artists from each team with the most votes stay and then the coach gets to save one other but the 4th goes home leading us into next week's top 12 performances.
After that I think they're going back to the competition as a whole like last year so anyone can go home regardless of team.
I think, at least.
I liked that last year. It didn't matter who's team you were on. Before the top four were always one member from each team but you lose quality singers because too many good ones were on one team.
Thought last year there were a lot more singers as well cause they went from 12 on each team to 16....now they're back to 12 that was far too many.
Alright, enough with the ramblings, on to the music.
Here are my favorites from tonight.
Maybe It Was Memphis - Danielle Bradbery
Shakira said it best, "holy crap."
I haven't heard this song in like a decade. Back when I still actually listened to country music.
But that's also back when there was actual country music to be listened to.
Oh Darling - Sasha Allen
Hard to top Juliet Simms' cover from season two but this definitely comes close.
so this next one wasn't as fantastic as these previous two but i feel i must post it because it's a family thing.
Meet In The Middle - Justin Rivers
and since apparently you find my family stories amusing here's another.
although i'm pretty sure I've posted it on here already.
Our family changes the words to songs frequently but this is the most famous.
anyway, so the refrain that they sing goes like this:
I'd start walking your way,
You'd start walking mine.
We'd meet in the middle
'Neath that old Georgia pine.
We'd gain a lot of ground
Cause we'd both give a little.
Ain't no road too long
When you meet in the middle.
but our version goes like this:
I start walking your way,
You sit on the couch.
We meet in the middle
Because I'm such a grouch.
We gain a lot of ground,
Cause we both eat a little.
You are the queen,
But I'm, I'm just little.
except when Second Sister sang it she sings:
You start walking my way,
I sit on the couch.
We meet in the middle
Because you're such a grouch
We gain a lot of ground,
Cause we both eat a little.
I am the queen,
But you, you're just little.
and points at me.
thanks for that btw.
My guess for tomorrow's results are:
For Adam - Amber Carrington and Sarah Simmons will be saved and that Adam will save Judith Hill sending Caroline home - which would suck cause i love her.
For Blake - Danielle will definitely be safe, along with Holly I'm hoping. He'll probably save the Swon Brothers sending Justin home.
For Shakira - Sasha is safe, no question along with probably Karina, I'm hoping at least. She'll save Garrett.
And then Usher - no question that Michelle is safe but the rest is a complete toss-up. I'm thinking VEDO will be safe and he'll save Josiah. Even though he completely sucked and Cathia is much better.
Enough about that, DID YOU WATCH SPLASH?!
okay *spoiler alert* but dude, did you see Nicole land on her back?! that had to hurt.
I picked Rory and Drake from the start so I'm glad they finished 1,3 and Nicole definitely deserved to make it to the finals, she was a major surprise.
And it was ironic that she needed saving by the lifeguards with those big red floatie things since the role everything knows her from is Baywatch where she played a lifeguard and saved people with those big red floatie things.
Drake turned into kind of a jerk toward the end of the season so I'm glad Rory pulled it off and got the trophy. It was cool to see all the stars come back and dive again.
As dumb as this concept is I'm still hoping for a second season.
Cause it's surprisingly addicting.
And I'm curious as to who would be brave enough after seeing all these injuries to join it for a second season.
Alright, I'm gonna crash. Already midnight and I'm attempting to stop going to bed at 2 cause it's messing with my head.
Monday, April 29, 2013
It's Shakespearean, it's Dickensian, it's Kardashian.
Back at work today.
You could tell it was Monday.
Lots of tired staff and not a lot of patrons so it was a little slow.
Which is fine cause it gives me time to work on other projects like more Summer Reading and volunteer stuff.
Got one of my adult volunteers started on shelving Youth Services.
She's Russian and used to work in a library in Russia so she picked it up very quickly.
So quickly in fact that I barely had to train her at all. When I went through each category she pointed out where they go and when I started her on shelving she put them in the exact space they're supposed to go.
I'm making her tag them so I can look over them, but still, I'm impressed.
That's really all I can remember about today.
Oh, except for the part where some dude asked if he could take a picture of my Green Lantern t-shirt.
But what do you say to that, really?
I told him he could find pictures of it online or find it at Target.
Guess that's what I get for wearing fun shirts.
He's another one that makes up excuses to come to the desk to talk to me. Last week he rambled about some sort of chemistry meteorology thing, I don't know I can't remember.
Tried to block it from my brain.
But Queen of the Known Universe was laughing.
Dangit, just when my stalker count was lowering out.
Castle tonight was epic. Love the flashbacks. Kind of cheesed up the drama part, but she was standing on a bomb so you had to have some sort of comic relief.
And Bones was alright. For a season finale I was expecting more. I am super depressed for Brennan now though.
2 Broke Girls was humorous.
Yes I spent a lot of tonight on the couch watching TV but I need a night off from homework and stress and all that.
Anyway, they filmed an episode - well, fake filmed - an episode of SVU in the diner and hired Max and Caroline as extras.
That's where the status is from, basically they're pimping themselves out as actresses so they can get money to pay for Chesnutt's shoes - he's a horse.
The Voice was also on tonight and of course I'm saving it for last cause I get all rambly.
Battles were last week - check out this video cause it's awesome:
Dropping it down from 12 members to 8.
I love that video, that's cool.
Tonight was Night One for Knockouts - Team Adam and Team Shakira, tomorrow will be Team Blake and Team Usher. Each artist picks their own song to sing and their coaches pair them up against each other. So they went from 8 to 4 members each for the live rounds which will start next week!
Big upsets tonight, I lost 2 of my top 5 - Midas Whale (huge shock) and Monique Abbadie.
But the winners deserved it.
Here's my lineups after Night One of the Knockouts.
Red = Adam
Green = Blake
Blue = Usher
Purple = Shakira
Tomorrow will be the green and the blue as Team Usher and Team Blake are up.
The most epic of tonight's battles was probably Sarah Simmons vs. Warren Stone. You can check it out here:
It's amusing because they post all these behind-the-scenes sort of videos so you can get to know the artists.
Here is my favorite for Team Adam
(Dolly Partner, is that weird? Yes it's weird.)
and Team Shakira
(don't worry I can't tell them apart either Tawnya. and Bruno Mars? I can see that.)
and of course my other music rec of the night is:
Dip it Low - Christina Milian
alright, back to Diners, Driveins and Dives.
making me want a hamburger.
You could tell it was Monday.
Lots of tired staff and not a lot of patrons so it was a little slow.
Which is fine cause it gives me time to work on other projects like more Summer Reading and volunteer stuff.
Got one of my adult volunteers started on shelving Youth Services.
She's Russian and used to work in a library in Russia so she picked it up very quickly.
So quickly in fact that I barely had to train her at all. When I went through each category she pointed out where they go and when I started her on shelving she put them in the exact space they're supposed to go.
I'm making her tag them so I can look over them, but still, I'm impressed.
That's really all I can remember about today.
Oh, except for the part where some dude asked if he could take a picture of my Green Lantern t-shirt.
But what do you say to that, really?
I told him he could find pictures of it online or find it at Target.
Guess that's what I get for wearing fun shirts.
He's another one that makes up excuses to come to the desk to talk to me. Last week he rambled about some sort of chemistry meteorology thing, I don't know I can't remember.
Tried to block it from my brain.
But Queen of the Known Universe was laughing.
Dangit, just when my stalker count was lowering out.
Castle tonight was epic. Love the flashbacks. Kind of cheesed up the drama part, but she was standing on a bomb so you had to have some sort of comic relief.
And Bones was alright. For a season finale I was expecting more. I am super depressed for Brennan now though.
2 Broke Girls was humorous.
Yes I spent a lot of tonight on the couch watching TV but I need a night off from homework and stress and all that.
Anyway, they filmed an episode - well, fake filmed - an episode of SVU in the diner and hired Max and Caroline as extras.
That's where the status is from, basically they're pimping themselves out as actresses so they can get money to pay for Chesnutt's shoes - he's a horse.
The Voice was also on tonight and of course I'm saving it for last cause I get all rambly.
Battles were last week - check out this video cause it's awesome:
Dropping it down from 12 members to 8.
I love that video, that's cool.
Tonight was Night One for Knockouts - Team Adam and Team Shakira, tomorrow will be Team Blake and Team Usher. Each artist picks their own song to sing and their coaches pair them up against each other. So they went from 8 to 4 members each for the live rounds which will start next week!
Big upsets tonight, I lost 2 of my top 5 - Midas Whale (huge shock) and Monique Abbadie.
But the winners deserved it.
Here's my lineups after Night One of the Knockouts.
Red = Adam
Green = Blake
Blue = Usher
Purple = Shakira
Judith Hill - Adam, defeated Karina in battles and Orlando in knockout round
Jess Kellner - Usher, defeated Taylor
Midas Whale - Adam, defeated Patrick, beat by Amber in knockout round
Caroline Glaser - Blake, lost to Taylor stolen by Adam, defeated Amy in knockout round
Monique Abbadie - Shakira, defeated Luke, lost to Karina in knockout round
Sasha Allen - lost battle, stolen by Shakira, defeated Shawna in knockout round
Michelle Chamuel - Usher, defeated Chelsea
Sarah Simmons - Adam, defeated Duncan in battles and Warren in knockout round
Christian Porter - Blake, eliminated during battles
Jessica Childress - Usher, eliminated during battles
Jeff Lewis - Usher, eliminated during battles
Jacqui Sandell - Blake, eliminated during battles
Karina Iglesius - lost to Judith stolen by Shakira, defeated Monique in knockout round
Holly Tucker - Blake, defeated Michelle
Garrett Gardner - Shakira, defeated J'Sun in battles and Tawnya in knockout round
Danielle Bradbery - Blake, defeated Caroline
Amber Carrington - Adam, defeated Sasha in battles and Midas Whale in knockout round
Savannah Berry - Blake, defeated Jacqui
Josiah Hawley - Usher, defeated Jeff
Audrey Karrasch - Usher, defeated Jamila
Tomorrow will be the green and the blue as Team Usher and Team Blake are up.
The most epic of tonight's battles was probably Sarah Simmons vs. Warren Stone. You can check it out here:
It's amusing because they post all these behind-the-scenes sort of videos so you can get to know the artists.
Here is my favorite for Team Adam
(Dolly Partner, is that weird? Yes it's weird.)
and Team Shakira
(don't worry I can't tell them apart either Tawnya. and Bruno Mars? I can see that.)
and of course my other music rec of the night is:
Dip it Low - Christina Milian
alright, back to Diners, Driveins and Dives.
making me want a hamburger.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
"Vader in German means father. His name is literally Darth Father."
Ah the joys of working weekends.
Day flew by fairly quickly, no major highlights at work.
Aside from the fact that I was reminded how young I am for the profession.
Though not young enough that there should be an 18-year-old following me around the library.
Yet another Magnet Moment, though without Slim Shady there to comment.
I don't need more stalkers, the aides are already laughing at me.
Good god, it was like I'm shelving DVD's so he goes to look at the DVD's.
I go upstairs to the lab so he gets on the computer then starts dancing which is something you notice out of the corner of your eye - I mean, it happens, but not often as boldly as he was doing it. BUT THEN! he's like looking at me out of the corner of his eye so I avoid him by helping other people in the lab and all that which just made the dancing bigger and more bold.
Just awkward.
Anyway, I left for lunch and he was like 5 seconds behind me on the stairs. I basically bolted to the backroom, followed the aides out of the building and thankfully he was gone by the time I got back.
After work I headed off to see the boyfriend. Went out for appetizers - him and his nachos and me with my spinach and artichoke dip. Brought half of it home.
Now I'm jamming with my big fat cat watching Pitch Perfect with commentary.
ah, Elizabeth Banks.
You are aca-awesome.
But I've already rambled enough about this movie.
Go here: Aca-scuse me, synchronized lady dancing to a Mariah Carey chart topper is not lame.
More of 2012's greatest hits
Wide Awake - Katy Perry
love the rhythm of this song. heard it once and bought it immediately.
interesting video but not surprising as katy has a flair for the dramatic. you should watch her Part of Me movie, it's actually pretty cool.
Want U Back - Cher Lloyd
still love it.
favorite memory is when oldest sister and second sister and i went out to eat and second sister heard it for the first time. literally bent over laughing.
Somebody That I Used To Know - Gotye
nice paint job.
think i like lindsay's version better but i'm holding off on posting the Voice videos until the end.
Day flew by fairly quickly, no major highlights at work.
Aside from the fact that I was reminded how young I am for the profession.
Though not young enough that there should be an 18-year-old following me around the library.
Yet another Magnet Moment, though without Slim Shady there to comment.
I don't need more stalkers, the aides are already laughing at me.
Good god, it was like I'm shelving DVD's so he goes to look at the DVD's.
I go upstairs to the lab so he gets on the computer then starts dancing which is something you notice out of the corner of your eye - I mean, it happens, but not often as boldly as he was doing it. BUT THEN! he's like looking at me out of the corner of his eye so I avoid him by helping other people in the lab and all that which just made the dancing bigger and more bold.
Just awkward.
Anyway, I left for lunch and he was like 5 seconds behind me on the stairs. I basically bolted to the backroom, followed the aides out of the building and thankfully he was gone by the time I got back.
After work I headed off to see the boyfriend. Went out for appetizers - him and his nachos and me with my spinach and artichoke dip. Brought half of it home.
Now I'm jamming with my big fat cat watching Pitch Perfect with commentary.
ah, Elizabeth Banks.
You are aca-awesome.
But I've already rambled enough about this movie.
Go here: Aca-scuse me, synchronized lady dancing to a Mariah Carey chart topper is not lame.
More of 2012's greatest hits
Wide Awake - Katy Perry
love the rhythm of this song. heard it once and bought it immediately.
interesting video but not surprising as katy has a flair for the dramatic. you should watch her Part of Me movie, it's actually pretty cool.
Want U Back - Cher Lloyd
still love it.
favorite memory is when oldest sister and second sister and i went out to eat and second sister heard it for the first time. literally bent over laughing.
Somebody That I Used To Know - Gotye
nice paint job.
think i like lindsay's version better but i'm holding off on posting the Voice videos until the end.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
"Why are they always old?!"
So, everyone keeps texting me about what to buy for the boyfriend for Christmas.
I took him shopping this weekend as mentioned in the post and picking out gifts was like pulling teeth.
Now I know how Oldest Sister feels when she takes me clothes shopping.
At least I managed to come up with a few ideas from myself. From others I've got nothing. Cause he says he wants nothing.
But at our family Christmas no one gets nothing so I'll have to come up with some ideas. We're spending actual Christmas with his family and New Year's with mine since that's when we're having our family Christmas.
Which I think I told my mother, and if not, then she knows now.
Yes, we are at that point. Afterall we did almost get married in Vegas. Which Cabin Fever pointed out is kind of a big deal.
But it's been over 11 months now.
Which is huge for me cause as previously mentioned most of my relationships don't last longer than a Mento.
And I'm happy.
Which is also new.
Anyway, speaking of relationships, so had yet another "magnet moment" today at work. I helped this dude in the lab and he kept coming up with reasons to come to the desk like to borrow a pen and then to bring back a pen and then to ask about a newspaper and then to borrow the pen again and then he needed my help in the lab again and THEN he hits me with "can I show you something" and says something about how I'm beautiful or something, I don't even remember I was too "get me the heck out of here"-d at the moment. Anyway, so then he goes back into the lab, finishes his session and when putting the pen back in the holder on the desk slips me a note asking for my number.
Needless to say I did not give it to him.
The Library Judge says I'm 6, Queen of the Known Universe says I should have said 12.
6 is props cause she's a badass. Speaking of, "The Rise of Nine" is finally out and I added it to my wishlist - aka I told Favorite Sister in Law to buy it for me. But if she doesn't perhaps Mom will. And then Homey G will immediately borrow it.
I'm wondering if they'll ever make a sequel but wouldn't be surprised if they didn't. I don't think it had the greatest following.
Where was I going again? Oh right, so then this drunk lady started hitting on our security guard, and the poor dude is so young you just feel bad. But he handled it really well. Though later he came up to me and was like, "why are they always old?!"
So apparently if they were younger and hotter he wouldn't mind as much.
I have finally come up with somewhat of a Christmas list.
The first few are boring.
-Luggage
-Bookshelves
-Vacuum
-Curtains Hung Up - still unsuccessful on that front
But then I ran into some fun stuff
-Burn Notice season five
-Charlie's Angels season five
-Once Upon a Time season one
-Pittacus Lore books "Rise of Nine" and then the one about lost legacies
Well, I called it. Sort of, no I did. Picked the final four mentioning Nicholas might slip through just cause he's got people in his corner. I'll miss Amanda, she was great. As was Melanie she just had a bad night. People are ticked. Much like when Pip got kicked off last year. Bowtie and all.
But they're young and hipster-ish and the teens love them.
But my top 2 are STILL IN IT!
And I'm rooting for Terry now as well. He was in my honorable mentions when I was originally crafting the list. And I listened to his song almost 50, well, probably well over 50 times last night while falling asleep.
And then again today.
Second year in a row for Team Blake cause of Jordis last year.
It's interesting now though that it doesn't matter your team, just your number of votes so actually Adam and Xtina don't have any of their team left in the competition. Cee-Lo has Trevin and Nicholas, Blake has Cassadee and Terry.
Alright, should crash. More work tomorrow.
What does it mean?!?
Out!
I took him shopping this weekend as mentioned in the post and picking out gifts was like pulling teeth.
Now I know how Oldest Sister feels when she takes me clothes shopping.
At least I managed to come up with a few ideas from myself. From others I've got nothing. Cause he says he wants nothing.
But at our family Christmas no one gets nothing so I'll have to come up with some ideas. We're spending actual Christmas with his family and New Year's with mine since that's when we're having our family Christmas.
Which I think I told my mother, and if not, then she knows now.
Yes, we are at that point. Afterall we did almost get married in Vegas. Which Cabin Fever pointed out is kind of a big deal.
But it's been over 11 months now.
Which is huge for me cause as previously mentioned most of my relationships don't last longer than a Mento.
And I'm happy.
Which is also new.
Anyway, speaking of relationships, so had yet another "magnet moment" today at work. I helped this dude in the lab and he kept coming up with reasons to come to the desk like to borrow a pen and then to bring back a pen and then to ask about a newspaper and then to borrow the pen again and then he needed my help in the lab again and THEN he hits me with "can I show you something" and says something about how I'm beautiful or something, I don't even remember I was too "get me the heck out of here"-d at the moment. Anyway, so then he goes back into the lab, finishes his session and when putting the pen back in the holder on the desk slips me a note asking for my number.
Needless to say I did not give it to him.
The Library Judge says I'm 6, Queen of the Known Universe says I should have said 12.
6 is props cause she's a badass. Speaking of, "The Rise of Nine" is finally out and I added it to my wishlist - aka I told Favorite Sister in Law to buy it for me. But if she doesn't perhaps Mom will. And then Homey G will immediately borrow it.
I'm wondering if they'll ever make a sequel but wouldn't be surprised if they didn't. I don't think it had the greatest following.
Where was I going again? Oh right, so then this drunk lady started hitting on our security guard, and the poor dude is so young you just feel bad. But he handled it really well. Though later he came up to me and was like, "why are they always old?!"
So apparently if they were younger and hotter he wouldn't mind as much.
I have finally come up with somewhat of a Christmas list.
The first few are boring.
-Luggage
-Bookshelves
-Vacuum
-Curtains Hung Up - still unsuccessful on that front
But then I ran into some fun stuff
-Burn Notice season five
-Charlie's Angels season five
-Once Upon a Time season one
-Pittacus Lore books "Rise of Nine" and then the one about lost legacies
Well, I called it. Sort of, no I did. Picked the final four mentioning Nicholas might slip through just cause he's got people in his corner. I'll miss Amanda, she was great. As was Melanie she just had a bad night. People are ticked. Much like when Pip got kicked off last year. Bowtie and all.
But they're young and hipster-ish and the teens love them.
But my top 2 are STILL IN IT!
And I'm rooting for Terry now as well. He was in my honorable mentions when I was originally crafting the list. And I listened to his song almost 50, well, probably well over 50 times last night while falling asleep.
And then again today.
Second year in a row for Team Blake cause of Jordis last year.
It's interesting now though that it doesn't matter your team, just your number of votes so actually Adam and Xtina don't have any of their team left in the competition. Cee-Lo has Trevin and Nicholas, Blake has Cassadee and Terry.
Alright, should crash. More work tomorrow.
What does it mean?!?
Out!
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Notes from the blender
So I'm a magnet.
For creepers.
This week has been no exception.
A guy came up to me at the desk with a "psychology question" for a class he's taking.
First it was "if someone asked you if you wanted to hang out would you say yes, no, or maybe?"
To which I didn't answer.
So then he changed it to, "do you like music?"
To which I said "sure".
And then he came at me with, "so if someone asked you if you wanted to hang out and listen to music, would you say yes, no, or maybe?"
I said it would depend on the relationship I had with that person.
"Well, you're both single." and that's when he got the ring.
Basically, when I get hit on I hold up my left hand, aka the one with the fake wedding ring, and they back off.
There's a reason I wear it every day.
And this way I'm not technically lying, they just assume I'm taken and they back off.
But it's not like this is irregular, it happens quite frequently.
But I'm too nice, so lately I've been shutting them off entirely.
I don't need another "likes ass or jazz" fiasco mentioned here: This Magnet Moment
Anyway, so I showed him the ring and he kept talking! So I looked over at John Boy who then turned to Queen of the Known Universe and she came to my rescue calling me away from the desk and saying something about going to the basement for a YA question.
So I did and ended up in cataloging talking to the New Girl and grabbing a YA item just in case I went back up there and he was still at the desk. That way I could claim the item was re-cataloged and fixed or something to that matter, but he was gone by the time I got back there.
She and I save each other frequently, though the most memorable was when this guy nearly invited himself over to my house for November so she walked out into the stacks and called the extension and told me I needed to go to the basement and get something. So I left the desk and she came back to it. Then, as I hung out in the stacks, I noticed he wasn't leaving her alone. So I called her extension with my cellphone claiming I needed her in the basement. Then we basically ended up hiding out in the stacks waiting for him to leave the desk.
Which he actually stood at for about five more minutes.
Then there was another guy who was like 30, living with his brother and said he was ready to settle down and get married.
I told him I don't date patrons.
He attempted to find a way to work around it.
Didn't work.
Speaking of the Queen of the Known Universe, she ties for first in the Quote of the Day selection.
-"I don't want to cougar him." turned it into a verb, i like it.
When our library director, aka my boss's boss's boss, is notified about a change coming from the mayer's office she responds with "what the hell are you thinking?"
What else...
Tomorrow is "meet the parents" night.
His dad's birthday party, should be interesting.
I'll keep you posted.
Have tomorrow off to run errands, clean my apartment, but most importantly sleep in.
So don't call me before noon.
I'm out. Exhausted.
American Pie - Don McLean
but something touched me deep inside the day the music died.
he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye, saying soon i'm gonna be a jedi, soon i'm gonna be a jedi.
if you haven't already heard this next version you are seriously missing out on life. check it out.
Star Wars Epic Saga - Weird Al
PS - I checked out the book that I got from cataloging. "Notes from the Blender" which reminds me of my newest obsession.
Blackberries.
Addicted.
Got a blender from Second Sister for my birthday. I'm hooked. Started making a lot of fruit smoothies with random fruit, pineapple, strawberries, blackberries, blueberries, rasberries, all that. I like it. And it's healthy, so THERE!
For creepers.
This week has been no exception.
A guy came up to me at the desk with a "psychology question" for a class he's taking.
First it was "if someone asked you if you wanted to hang out would you say yes, no, or maybe?"
To which I didn't answer.
So then he changed it to, "do you like music?"
To which I said "sure".
And then he came at me with, "so if someone asked you if you wanted to hang out and listen to music, would you say yes, no, or maybe?"
I said it would depend on the relationship I had with that person.
"Well, you're both single." and that's when he got the ring.
Basically, when I get hit on I hold up my left hand, aka the one with the fake wedding ring, and they back off.
There's a reason I wear it every day.
And this way I'm not technically lying, they just assume I'm taken and they back off.
But it's not like this is irregular, it happens quite frequently.
But I'm too nice, so lately I've been shutting them off entirely.
I don't need another "likes ass or jazz" fiasco mentioned here: This Magnet Moment
Anyway, so I showed him the ring and he kept talking! So I looked over at John Boy who then turned to Queen of the Known Universe and she came to my rescue calling me away from the desk and saying something about going to the basement for a YA question.
So I did and ended up in cataloging talking to the New Girl and grabbing a YA item just in case I went back up there and he was still at the desk. That way I could claim the item was re-cataloged and fixed or something to that matter, but he was gone by the time I got back there.
She and I save each other frequently, though the most memorable was when this guy nearly invited himself over to my house for November so she walked out into the stacks and called the extension and told me I needed to go to the basement and get something. So I left the desk and she came back to it. Then, as I hung out in the stacks, I noticed he wasn't leaving her alone. So I called her extension with my cellphone claiming I needed her in the basement. Then we basically ended up hiding out in the stacks waiting for him to leave the desk.
Which he actually stood at for about five more minutes.
Then there was another guy who was like 30, living with his brother and said he was ready to settle down and get married.
I told him I don't date patrons.
He attempted to find a way to work around it.
Didn't work.
Speaking of the Queen of the Known Universe, she ties for first in the Quote of the Day selection.
-"I don't want to cougar him." turned it into a verb, i like it.
When our library director, aka my boss's boss's boss, is notified about a change coming from the mayer's office she responds with "what the hell are you thinking?"
What else...
Tomorrow is "meet the parents" night.
His dad's birthday party, should be interesting.
I'll keep you posted.
Have tomorrow off to run errands, clean my apartment, but most importantly sleep in.
So don't call me before noon.
I'm out. Exhausted.
American Pie - Don McLean
but something touched me deep inside the day the music died.
he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye, saying soon i'm gonna be a jedi, soon i'm gonna be a jedi.
if you haven't already heard this next version you are seriously missing out on life. check it out.
Star Wars Epic Saga - Weird Al
PS - I checked out the book that I got from cataloging. "Notes from the Blender" which reminds me of my newest obsession.
Blackberries.
Addicted.
Got a blender from Second Sister for my birthday. I'm hooked. Started making a lot of fruit smoothies with random fruit, pineapple, strawberries, blackberries, blueberries, rasberries, all that. I like it. And it's healthy, so THERE!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
You can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd
Today's highlights:
-Slim Shady and I got to see each other twice today. I know right?! We called it the Apocalypse because they don't let us work together anymore. It's not that we're trouble, we just seem to never get scheduled at the same place at the same time. Today we got to eat lunch together and check-in backroom stuff. Two hours in a row. I know, right?! We were shocked.
-I applied for two hours leave so I could jam with my family for our newly instated annual pitch tournament on the 23rd. They granted my request, so technically, I will be getting paid while playing pitch until 6. Woohoo! There will be much excitement, especially if things go as awesomely as they did last year. Which reminds me that I need to go Christmas shopping so I'll have everything ready in time.
-Checked my e-mail and saw that Superwoman had sent me a message. It said, "I left a surprise in your mailbox." So I checked my mailbox. Guess what was in it. See, I was thinking "crap, I forgot to sign my timesheet again, she's gonna take away points." Which would bite since I'm stuck at 140. It took me forever to get there and now it's taking me forever to get anywhere but there! Anyway, no, it was an article. And guess what it was entitled. "How To Date a Librarian". Apparently my magnet stories are making their way around the building. I can't help that I'm nice to people! I'm sorry! Slim Shady says I'm too nice to the weird boys. But would you rather me be mean? I'm not too nice, I respect each person that comes up to the desk, I make conversation because otherwise it would be awkward. It puts them at ease and then when they come back in we develop a rapport. That's how it works. But some people, take it to heart and eventually ask me out or just follow me around the building. But that's why we have security guards. And fun coworkers who watch out for me. So it's not bad.
Anyway, the tips on dating a librarian were hilarious, I'll have to post them. It's in my locker at the moment, I wanted to highlight things and hang it on the door.
Other things.
-Yes, I have a band. a Parody Band. Multiple actually. There's "Delayed...Reaction" which is me and my friend who's a teacher at my old high school - he wasn't a teacher when i was there, let me clear that up now...and we write songs about Camp J.
And then there's my other band which is me and Homie-G-Wigger, and we call ourselves "The Teacher and the Part-Time Librarian" originally we were the "Teacher and the Failed Librarian" as I was not one at that moment, just applying to take the GRE and all that. I guess we will have to change the name yet again now that I'm Full-Time instead of Part-Time. But we performed our smash hit "Snippets of Conversation" at the grade school play two years ago. I could post the lyrics to that one as well, but again, have to find them first. They're in a notebook. Well, actually. Here's the original working draft:
though it ended up as:
Home and Garden Show Conversations
They're happening across the nation
You'd be amazed at the valuable information
Here's our own translation
we would repeat what they said, then I'd strum the guitar
and we said, "but what they really meant was this:" like
"People travel in packs."
"But what she really meant was, Beware of idiots in a group."
Yes, now that you mention it, it does look very similar to this:
aka 2G's version of "Oh, Lord of Light" lyrics here: My Life in Closed Captions: 2G's version of Oh Lord of Light
THIS is what happens when we're trapped in a room, working on camp stuff for five hours straight. and think, camp stuff is all I did, every day for an entire summer the first year that we took over. We changed everything! and added new stuff, it was a mess. Stuff like this is just part of the crazy madness that happens when we take a five minute break for icecream. You should see our sane moments. They're few and far between. We put the fun in dysfunctional! Yet, we're completely functional when we need to be.
Here's 2G in our awesome shirts when we went golfing this summer.
Homey-G-Wigger, Dash Riprock, Blackstone and Choot 'em Lizbet! We rocked it...'til I got thrown out of the cart while in motion....for the second year in a row...neither time my fault. crazy driver...but it's SO MUCH FUN! not the flying out of the cart and landing on the golf tee in your pocket part, but the golfing in our 2G crew part. it's awesome.
Alright, on to the rec's and then I've got something special as requested.
You're getting a mix of them tonight. XYandZ. So they're exy Z-Recs. Or something like that.
X - Limited options with this one so I'm gonna go with this. Just cause I like to see you cringe every once in a while.
"Xanadu" Olivia Newton-John
so, there are two references that come to mind with this. First was Friends when Phoebe finds it on TV and screams "Oh, Oh, Xanadu!" in the "Well, they were chair-shaped cows" episode, then second came Criminal Minds after Garcia goes shopping crazy for Henry. "Next stop Xanadu!" "Xanadon't ladies" they had a case.
Y - yes, this is an actual song. a CLASSIC by a classic artist.
"You Can't Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd" Roger Miller
you probably know his chug-a-lug song. sometimes i wonder how much chug he was lugging while writing this song.
and i'm sorry, but this slide show is highly amusing.
Z - I'm sensing a theme here. sorry.
"Zoot Suit Riot" Cherry Poppin' Daddies
excellent dance song. nice costumes as well. I love the spazzy lead singer, he's fantastic.
Alright, since you asked, here is the Tankety-Tank-Tank skit mentioned in yesterday's post.
Though I write the majority of our skits, sometimes I get blocked and search our old files from my predecessor, or check google.
This one I did NOT write.
I found it on google here: BOOT CAMP SKIT
We did change it up a bit though.
BOOT CAMP
*a group of campers are standing around at boot camp and another camper - the drill sergeant - strides onto the scene.*
Drill Sergeant: ATTENTION!
*The campers scurry into line and salute.*
Drill Sergeant: Today, we'll be doing a war simulation. Get your equipment and MOVE OUT!
*The campers run to the box on the middle of the stage filled with fake weapons. When the last camper arrives there are none left.*
Drill Sergeant: Private Zammerman, I'm afraid we're short on supplies. Seeing as how your name is last on my list, you will not be receiving a gun or knife.
Private Zammerman: Awwww...
Drill Sergeant: However, the troops take their training very seriously and if you pretend to shoot or stab them they will play along. Now MOVE OUT!
*The campers line up in a single file line, all facing Private Zammerman who's at the opposite side of the stage
the first camper holds up a gun. Private Zammerman holds up an imaginary gun at the camper and says...*
Private Zammerman: Bangity-Bang-Bang!
*The camper acts as if shot and falls onto the ground.
Next camper steps up, this time holding a knife. Zammerman holds up an imaginary knife and points it at the camper while saying...*
Zammerman: Stabbity-stab-stab!
*The camper acts as if stabbed and falls to the ground.
This goes on for a while, depending on the amount of kids you have. We used 5th and 6th grade boys because they were the most enthusiastic about it. There were ten boys total so it took awhile. We had a sword slicety-slice-slice, a bazooka that i think he came at with boomety-boom-boom. which i found hilarious. umm... there were nunchucks, pistols, it was like the weapons-r-us in a box. my helpers were fantastic in creating all these fake weapons. at one point i really wanted to use a lightsaber so he could scream forcety-force-force! but we skipped over that one.
The last camper slowly approaches Zammerman in a straight line.*
Zammerman: Bangity-bang-bang!
*The camper ignores the shot and keeps approaching Zammerman*
Zammerman: Stabbity-stab-stab!
*still nothing*
Zammerman: Slicety-Slice-Slice!
*keeps walking toward him*
Zammerman: Boomity-Boom-Boom!
*The camper pushes Zammerman over and walks passed him.*
Zammerman: Hey! What do you think you're doing?!
*The camper turns, faces Zammerman and YELLS...*
TANKETY-TANK-TANK! TANKETY-TANK-TANK!
*then keeps walking*
and that's that.
-Slim Shady and I got to see each other twice today. I know right?! We called it the Apocalypse because they don't let us work together anymore. It's not that we're trouble, we just seem to never get scheduled at the same place at the same time. Today we got to eat lunch together and check-in backroom stuff. Two hours in a row. I know, right?! We were shocked.
-I applied for two hours leave so I could jam with my family for our newly instated annual pitch tournament on the 23rd. They granted my request, so technically, I will be getting paid while playing pitch until 6. Woohoo! There will be much excitement, especially if things go as awesomely as they did last year. Which reminds me that I need to go Christmas shopping so I'll have everything ready in time.
-Checked my e-mail and saw that Superwoman had sent me a message. It said, "I left a surprise in your mailbox." So I checked my mailbox. Guess what was in it. See, I was thinking "crap, I forgot to sign my timesheet again, she's gonna take away points." Which would bite since I'm stuck at 140. It took me forever to get there and now it's taking me forever to get anywhere but there! Anyway, no, it was an article. And guess what it was entitled. "How To Date a Librarian". Apparently my magnet stories are making their way around the building. I can't help that I'm nice to people! I'm sorry! Slim Shady says I'm too nice to the weird boys. But would you rather me be mean? I'm not too nice, I respect each person that comes up to the desk, I make conversation because otherwise it would be awkward. It puts them at ease and then when they come back in we develop a rapport. That's how it works. But some people, take it to heart and eventually ask me out or just follow me around the building. But that's why we have security guards. And fun coworkers who watch out for me. So it's not bad.
Anyway, the tips on dating a librarian were hilarious, I'll have to post them. It's in my locker at the moment, I wanted to highlight things and hang it on the door.
Other things.
-Yes, I have a band. a Parody Band. Multiple actually. There's "Delayed...Reaction" which is me and my friend who's a teacher at my old high school - he wasn't a teacher when i was there, let me clear that up now...and we write songs about Camp J.
And then there's my other band which is me and Homie-G-Wigger, and we call ourselves "The Teacher and the Part-Time Librarian" originally we were the "Teacher and the Failed Librarian" as I was not one at that moment, just applying to take the GRE and all that. I guess we will have to change the name yet again now that I'm Full-Time instead of Part-Time. But we performed our smash hit "Snippets of Conversation" at the grade school play two years ago. I could post the lyrics to that one as well, but again, have to find them first. They're in a notebook. Well, actually. Here's the original working draft:
though it ended up as:
Home and Garden Show Conversations
They're happening across the nation
You'd be amazed at the valuable information
Here's our own translation
we would repeat what they said, then I'd strum the guitar
and we said, "but what they really meant was this:" like
"People travel in packs."
"But what she really meant was, Beware of idiots in a group."
Yes, now that you mention it, it does look very similar to this:
aka 2G's version of "Oh, Lord of Light" lyrics here: My Life in Closed Captions: 2G's version of Oh Lord of Light
THIS is what happens when we're trapped in a room, working on camp stuff for five hours straight. and think, camp stuff is all I did, every day for an entire summer the first year that we took over. We changed everything! and added new stuff, it was a mess. Stuff like this is just part of the crazy madness that happens when we take a five minute break for icecream. You should see our sane moments. They're few and far between. We put the fun in dysfunctional! Yet, we're completely functional when we need to be.
Here's 2G in our awesome shirts when we went golfing this summer.
Homey-G-Wigger, Dash Riprock, Blackstone and Choot 'em Lizbet! We rocked it...'til I got thrown out of the cart while in motion....for the second year in a row...neither time my fault. crazy driver...but it's SO MUCH FUN! not the flying out of the cart and landing on the golf tee in your pocket part, but the golfing in our 2G crew part. it's awesome.
Alright, on to the rec's and then I've got something special as requested.
You're getting a mix of them tonight. XYandZ. So they're exy Z-Recs. Or something like that.
X - Limited options with this one so I'm gonna go with this. Just cause I like to see you cringe every once in a while.
"Xanadu" Olivia Newton-John
so, there are two references that come to mind with this. First was Friends when Phoebe finds it on TV and screams "Oh, Oh, Xanadu!" in the "Well, they were chair-shaped cows" episode, then second came Criminal Minds after Garcia goes shopping crazy for Henry. "Next stop Xanadu!" "Xanadon't ladies" they had a case.
Y - yes, this is an actual song. a CLASSIC by a classic artist.
"You Can't Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd" Roger Miller
you probably know his chug-a-lug song. sometimes i wonder how much chug he was lugging while writing this song.
and i'm sorry, but this slide show is highly amusing.
Z - I'm sensing a theme here. sorry.
"Zoot Suit Riot" Cherry Poppin' Daddies
excellent dance song. nice costumes as well. I love the spazzy lead singer, he's fantastic.
Alright, since you asked, here is the Tankety-Tank-Tank skit mentioned in yesterday's post.
Though I write the majority of our skits, sometimes I get blocked and search our old files from my predecessor, or check google.
This one I did NOT write.
I found it on google here: BOOT CAMP SKIT
We did change it up a bit though.
BOOT CAMP
*a group of campers are standing around at boot camp and another camper - the drill sergeant - strides onto the scene.*
Drill Sergeant: ATTENTION!
*The campers scurry into line and salute.*
Drill Sergeant: Today, we'll be doing a war simulation. Get your equipment and MOVE OUT!
*The campers run to the box on the middle of the stage filled with fake weapons. When the last camper arrives there are none left.*
Drill Sergeant: Private Zammerman, I'm afraid we're short on supplies. Seeing as how your name is last on my list, you will not be receiving a gun or knife.
Private Zammerman: Awwww...
Drill Sergeant: However, the troops take their training very seriously and if you pretend to shoot or stab them they will play along. Now MOVE OUT!
*The campers line up in a single file line, all facing Private Zammerman who's at the opposite side of the stage
the first camper holds up a gun. Private Zammerman holds up an imaginary gun at the camper and says...*
Private Zammerman: Bangity-Bang-Bang!
*The camper acts as if shot and falls onto the ground.
Next camper steps up, this time holding a knife. Zammerman holds up an imaginary knife and points it at the camper while saying...*
Zammerman: Stabbity-stab-stab!
*The camper acts as if stabbed and falls to the ground.
This goes on for a while, depending on the amount of kids you have. We used 5th and 6th grade boys because they were the most enthusiastic about it. There were ten boys total so it took awhile. We had a sword slicety-slice-slice, a bazooka that i think he came at with boomety-boom-boom. which i found hilarious. umm... there were nunchucks, pistols, it was like the weapons-r-us in a box. my helpers were fantastic in creating all these fake weapons. at one point i really wanted to use a lightsaber so he could scream forcety-force-force! but we skipped over that one.
The last camper slowly approaches Zammerman in a straight line.*
Zammerman: Bangity-bang-bang!
*The camper ignores the shot and keeps approaching Zammerman*
Zammerman: Stabbity-stab-stab!
*still nothing*
Zammerman: Slicety-Slice-Slice!
*keeps walking toward him*
Zammerman: Boomity-Boom-Boom!
*The camper pushes Zammerman over and walks passed him.*
Zammerman: Hey! What do you think you're doing?!
*The camper turns, faces Zammerman and YELLS...*
TANKETY-TANK-TANK! TANKETY-TANK-TANK!
*then keeps walking*
and that's that.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Hello Koha!
And Ziva, my first official post from my shiny red laptop. Although it's not actually all that shiny anymore. I've had it since like I don't even remember, like 2 years ago and all I've used it for is camp stuff. Forms, schedules, website, pictures, etc. Now I have all my files transferred over - music included, that took the longest - all that's left is to hook up my ipod and it will be official. Except it can only be synced to one computer at a time and if I switch it to here it deletes everything. Which is fine because I have everything on here now. But it like deletes my playlists too. Which bites, because I have a lot of them. I know, my life is so rough. *I can hear my sister's voice saying that to her dog...or cat...who's dumb as a post...* I'll figure it out.
Okay, first day with Koha, our new fancy system at work. Yeehaw? Well, so far we're only on its offline component since not everything has transitioned from the other system. So I got to spend the day staring at barcodes. No names, no titles, just barcodes. Oh, and I hit "enter" a lot. That was exciting.
Plus sent out the motherload of all explanation emails. But no one else was doing it. I mean, Superwoman set us up with some basic guidelines but then she left and all this other stuff came up. So I man-ed up. Or Woman-ed up. Let's go with that. Female solidarity and all that crap we say when we're playing softball. "Back up! Their women can hit!" my favorite quote from another team's pitcher.
Anyway, I basically came up with detailed instructions about what to do with all the stuff that was incoming to our branch and outgoing and all that while we can't check anything in or process any holds. Then sent it to the whole branch - but just the one, not all the staff at all the branches, that would be horrifying. I did that once about a missing item and am still spazzed out.
After all that joy I spent the rest of the afternoon in the backroom organizing the delivery, packing up donations and avoiding that dude that is trying to find a loophole on getting me to date him. Mentioned here: My Life in Closed Captions: This Magnet Moment... I don't date patrons! Well, not anymore. Just say no. That's what "big brother" coworker says. So I told him no, I don't date patrons. Now he's looking for a loophole. So, while he tries to find that, I'll continue to avoid him. Which is why this afternoon, after I separated all the delivery on to carts, I decided it was time to pack up the donations. And it worked!...until I ran out of tape. It was funny, because I really wanted to get through them all because we're going to need the space, so I scavenged the supply cabinets and found ducttape! But then I ran out of that too. Which sucked. So half the donations are boxed up and the rest are still on the shelf.
I had avoided him all afternoon until I ran out of tape - the second time - but as I was emailing Space Cadet, as she is in charge of supplies, I could see him coming to the desk out of the corner of my eye.
He comes to the side of the desk,
I get up,
go to the other desk,
open a drawer,
look for an imaginary object,
don't find one,
see him coming to that desk out of the corner of my eye,
also see Joe Studley approaching on my other side,
I turn around and head back to the original desk when I hear,
"Can I help you?" Not the person he was wanting to talk to but it'll do.
Aww, Joe Studley. My hero. He's the lead singer in our work band, btw - "Joe Studley and the Lost in Transit". Mentioned here: My Life in Closed Captions: Joe Studley and the Lost in Transit
Aside from barcodes, emails, delivery, donations and avoidance I don't think there was much else. Oh wait, I forgot. Barf chips and Face Aerobics. That pretty much sums up my day. Haha. I found the "barf chips", as someone had labeled the deodorizer stuff, when I was searching for tape - the first time - and the Face Aerobics was a VHS tape part of the donations. I didn't know there was such a thing as Face Aerobics. But apparently there were all the rage in the exercise scene. Back when VHS was still a viable format. I'm joking. I don't know anything about exercise trends. But I do own a bicycle. That counts right? Nevermind that it only has one wheel. Which is more of a long story. That I think I've told you already as well. My Life in Closed Captions: "Cause even after three text messages, four missed... Yep. Definitely told you before.
Crime-ony. Have I seriously been blogging since November? I'm going to run out of amusing anecdotes here soon. Next it will be all, "this one time, at the library..." That was my best American Pie impression.
I'm going to hit you with a music rec (or 2) before I crash and burn. Songs for the day, aka the ones blaring in my headphones while I boxed donations in the back, are older. Not like old but older.
Coldplay "Yellow"
and yes, second sister, i am currently singing jimmy fallon's troll doll lyrics.
I actually like Coldplay. I think this was their first major hit that put them on the board. Definitely worth listening to.
The Beatles "I Saw Her Standing There" performed live in '64
"How could I dance with her mother when I saw her standing there...." WHAT?! You mean those aren't the words?! Kidding. I sing it like that anyway, it's more amusing that way.
Out!
Okay, first day with Koha, our new fancy system at work. Yeehaw? Well, so far we're only on its offline component since not everything has transitioned from the other system. So I got to spend the day staring at barcodes. No names, no titles, just barcodes. Oh, and I hit "enter" a lot. That was exciting.
Plus sent out the motherload of all explanation emails. But no one else was doing it. I mean, Superwoman set us up with some basic guidelines but then she left and all this other stuff came up. So I man-ed up. Or Woman-ed up. Let's go with that. Female solidarity and all that crap we say when we're playing softball. "Back up! Their women can hit!" my favorite quote from another team's pitcher.
Anyway, I basically came up with detailed instructions about what to do with all the stuff that was incoming to our branch and outgoing and all that while we can't check anything in or process any holds. Then sent it to the whole branch - but just the one, not all the staff at all the branches, that would be horrifying. I did that once about a missing item and am still spazzed out.
After all that joy I spent the rest of the afternoon in the backroom organizing the delivery, packing up donations and avoiding that dude that is trying to find a loophole on getting me to date him. Mentioned here: My Life in Closed Captions: This Magnet Moment... I don't date patrons! Well, not anymore. Just say no. That's what "big brother" coworker says. So I told him no, I don't date patrons. Now he's looking for a loophole. So, while he tries to find that, I'll continue to avoid him. Which is why this afternoon, after I separated all the delivery on to carts, I decided it was time to pack up the donations. And it worked!...until I ran out of tape. It was funny, because I really wanted to get through them all because we're going to need the space, so I scavenged the supply cabinets and found ducttape! But then I ran out of that too. Which sucked. So half the donations are boxed up and the rest are still on the shelf.
I had avoided him all afternoon until I ran out of tape - the second time - but as I was emailing Space Cadet, as she is in charge of supplies, I could see him coming to the desk out of the corner of my eye.
He comes to the side of the desk,
I get up,
go to the other desk,
open a drawer,
look for an imaginary object,
don't find one,
see him coming to that desk out of the corner of my eye,
also see Joe Studley approaching on my other side,
I turn around and head back to the original desk when I hear,
"Can I help you?" Not the person he was wanting to talk to but it'll do.
Aww, Joe Studley. My hero. He's the lead singer in our work band, btw - "Joe Studley and the Lost in Transit". Mentioned here: My Life in Closed Captions: Joe Studley and the Lost in Transit
Aside from barcodes, emails, delivery, donations and avoidance I don't think there was much else. Oh wait, I forgot. Barf chips and Face Aerobics. That pretty much sums up my day. Haha. I found the "barf chips", as someone had labeled the deodorizer stuff, when I was searching for tape - the first time - and the Face Aerobics was a VHS tape part of the donations. I didn't know there was such a thing as Face Aerobics. But apparently there were all the rage in the exercise scene. Back when VHS was still a viable format. I'm joking. I don't know anything about exercise trends. But I do own a bicycle. That counts right? Nevermind that it only has one wheel. Which is more of a long story. That I think I've told you already as well. My Life in Closed Captions: "Cause even after three text messages, four missed... Yep. Definitely told you before.
Crime-ony. Have I seriously been blogging since November? I'm going to run out of amusing anecdotes here soon. Next it will be all, "this one time, at the library..." That was my best American Pie impression.
I'm going to hit you with a music rec (or 2) before I crash and burn. Songs for the day, aka the ones blaring in my headphones while I boxed donations in the back, are older. Not like old but older.
Coldplay "Yellow"
and yes, second sister, i am currently singing jimmy fallon's troll doll lyrics.
I actually like Coldplay. I think this was their first major hit that put them on the board. Definitely worth listening to.
The Beatles "I Saw Her Standing There" performed live in '64
"How could I dance with her mother when I saw her standing there...." WHAT?! You mean those aren't the words?! Kidding. I sing it like that anyway, it's more amusing that way.
Out!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
This Magnet Moment...
Magnet Magnet Magnet...terrible. I am a freaking magnet. And I didn't even do anything this time! I was sitting at my desk and he comes up and starts hitting on me. I wasn't even in public service! I was at the lab! Answering the phone every two minutes!
Okay, so Grandma (25-yr-old-coworker, I really need to think of another nickname that doesn't take quite that explanation) calls me a magnet. Because I attract all types of weirdos and they like latch on or something. Apparently I'm "too nice to the weird boys." That's what she says every time I tell her about a new magnet moment. Which is what I call them. Unfortunately, it's a conversation I've been having a lot lately. Anyway, these "magnet moments" range all the way from being hit on and/or stalked by teenage boys to old women. Although my favorite was this guy around my age - I was helping him find sheet music cause the music goddess was already gone and he slipped me this piece of paper with his name (illegible btw) and a note at the bottom saying "likes ass or jazz". Yeah, that was something to scrapbook. It cracked myself, Grandma (25...), and my favorite college professor up majorly. Actually that was my second choice for the name of this blog, haha. But then people would have thought that it was me saying that, therefore My Life in Closed Captions won.
Today's Magnet Moment was interesting. He asked me out, I said I don't date patrons - learned that the hard way, then he tried to find a loophole saying something about how he would ask me out at the other branch or something. But he would still be a patron there so I'm confused. Whatever. But that's going to be awkward, since he goes to both branches. I'm toast. And I'm tired of being toast.
Think I'm just going to start being mean to anyone that looks at me twice. No, couldn't do that. I'd get in trouble. I'll just run instead. That works. And it helps when your "big brother" is around to save you. Haha, another fun coworker who has had unfortunate experiences with patrons as well.
It was funny, I described the guy to him earlier, then someone looking like the guy came to the desk to ask a question about parking meters and big brother comes from out of nowhere saying, "it's time to the count the money, let's go." Wrong guy, but still appreciated. Good to know I've got people who have my back. And Grandma (25... yeah that's getting old it's time for a new nickname)...where was I... oh yeah Grandma (...) says she'll play girlfriend, but I won't see her again 'til like Thursday or something since I'm at the other branch until then. And I'm sure he'll show up at that branch. Hooray...Not. Toast. Freaking magnetic qualities.
What else...oh yeah, tonight I'm going bowling...yes, bowling. I suck, but it's still fun. Usually I only go once a year when we take the kids at teen camp. We have our usual group with our usual nicknames - Boomer, Obi-Wan, Chickenfro, Maynard, this year Scuba Steve joined us as well. I'll let you guess which one of those is mine. Anyway, tonight I'm going with Boomer (there, eliminated an option for you) and Nic, plus I think Tyler will be there as well. We grew up together, same grade school and both went away to same high school so it's always fun to see him. His two little brothers have to put up with me still since I direct the play. Speaking of, I'll get to talk to Nic about that tonight, I gotta remember to ask about the rap and commercial.
Anyway, songs for tonight:
"Something's Got a Hold on Me" Christina Aguilera from Burlesque
Figured the title fit the whole magnet theme. Love the whole 50s/60s style.
"You Drive Me Crazy" Shakin' Stevens
This is at least the third time I've posted this, yes I'm aware. But it's one of my favorites. And it also fits the theme. Well, the title does. Pretty sure these people weren't sent down to give me a thrill. Someone else a thrill perhaps.
Alright, food then bowling. Have a good one.
Okay, so Grandma (25-yr-old-coworker, I really need to think of another nickname that doesn't take quite that explanation) calls me a magnet. Because I attract all types of weirdos and they like latch on or something. Apparently I'm "too nice to the weird boys." That's what she says every time I tell her about a new magnet moment. Which is what I call them. Unfortunately, it's a conversation I've been having a lot lately. Anyway, these "magnet moments" range all the way from being hit on and/or stalked by teenage boys to old women. Although my favorite was this guy around my age - I was helping him find sheet music cause the music goddess was already gone and he slipped me this piece of paper with his name (illegible btw) and a note at the bottom saying "likes ass or jazz". Yeah, that was something to scrapbook. It cracked myself, Grandma (25...), and my favorite college professor up majorly. Actually that was my second choice for the name of this blog, haha. But then people would have thought that it was me saying that, therefore My Life in Closed Captions won.
Today's Magnet Moment was interesting. He asked me out, I said I don't date patrons - learned that the hard way, then he tried to find a loophole saying something about how he would ask me out at the other branch or something. But he would still be a patron there so I'm confused. Whatever. But that's going to be awkward, since he goes to both branches. I'm toast. And I'm tired of being toast.
Think I'm just going to start being mean to anyone that looks at me twice. No, couldn't do that. I'd get in trouble. I'll just run instead. That works. And it helps when your "big brother" is around to save you. Haha, another fun coworker who has had unfortunate experiences with patrons as well.
It was funny, I described the guy to him earlier, then someone looking like the guy came to the desk to ask a question about parking meters and big brother comes from out of nowhere saying, "it's time to the count the money, let's go." Wrong guy, but still appreciated. Good to know I've got people who have my back. And Grandma (25... yeah that's getting old it's time for a new nickname)...where was I... oh yeah Grandma (...) says she'll play girlfriend, but I won't see her again 'til like Thursday or something since I'm at the other branch until then. And I'm sure he'll show up at that branch. Hooray...Not. Toast. Freaking magnetic qualities.
What else...oh yeah, tonight I'm going bowling...yes, bowling. I suck, but it's still fun. Usually I only go once a year when we take the kids at teen camp. We have our usual group with our usual nicknames - Boomer, Obi-Wan, Chickenfro, Maynard, this year Scuba Steve joined us as well. I'll let you guess which one of those is mine. Anyway, tonight I'm going with Boomer (there, eliminated an option for you) and Nic, plus I think Tyler will be there as well. We grew up together, same grade school and both went away to same high school so it's always fun to see him. His two little brothers have to put up with me still since I direct the play. Speaking of, I'll get to talk to Nic about that tonight, I gotta remember to ask about the rap and commercial.
Anyway, songs for tonight:
"Something's Got a Hold on Me" Christina Aguilera from Burlesque
Figured the title fit the whole magnet theme. Love the whole 50s/60s style.
"You Drive Me Crazy" Shakin' Stevens
This is at least the third time I've posted this, yes I'm aware. But it's one of my favorites. And it also fits the theme. Well, the title does. Pretty sure these people weren't sent down to give me a thrill. Someone else a thrill perhaps.
Alright, food then bowling. Have a good one.
Friday, February 4, 2011
yeah, i got nothing...
quick post since i plan to have a social life tonight - i know, shocker!
today was great, i actually got to work at both libraries and hang out with my superwoman boss. only a few 'magnet moments' which of course grandma (25 year old coworker) gave me crap for. she calls me a magnet cause i attract an interesting crowd. we'll go with that. "magnet, magnet, magnet..." yeah whatever, today was fun. i joked around with a patron who i've been growing closer to lately we're thinking of joining him for some karaoke. i love karaoke. it's a delayed...reaction specialty. i'll have to upload more of those videos later.
i ran up and down stairs at least 6 times all within like 15 minutes so major workout. feeling excited for tonight, burgers and glee with a friend, woohoo! there will probably be some drinking as well, should be fun.
aaaannd she's here, i'm out!
today was great, i actually got to work at both libraries and hang out with my superwoman boss. only a few 'magnet moments' which of course grandma (25 year old coworker) gave me crap for. she calls me a magnet cause i attract an interesting crowd. we'll go with that. "magnet, magnet, magnet..." yeah whatever, today was fun. i joked around with a patron who i've been growing closer to lately we're thinking of joining him for some karaoke. i love karaoke. it's a delayed...reaction specialty. i'll have to upload more of those videos later.
i ran up and down stairs at least 6 times all within like 15 minutes so major workout. feeling excited for tonight, burgers and glee with a friend, woohoo! there will probably be some drinking as well, should be fun.
aaaannd she's here, i'm out!
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