But then, you know, there's always drums, and bass, and maybe even one day a tambourine.

So, I don't know what the heck happened this morning, but when I woke up to the steam cleaning dude knocking on my door - 9:30AM - my left leg was asleep and I fell three times on the way to the door.

It's like 10 feet from the couch to the door so it was every freaking step.

I can only imagine as to what he was thinking outside my door cause every time I fell a different expletive came out.

And not quietly.

It explained the amused look on his face when the door swung open.

And Carter was just laying there like what the hell?

Like, by the time I made it to the door I was holding on to it for dear life, then stood against the wall for a while just to make sure I wasn't gonna faceplant in front of him.

The last time that happened to me in the morning - that I can remember, though a lot of my mornings are fuzzy cause I hate mornings - was in high school. And actually it was because I was injured.

So, if you know me or you've read this long enough you've probably heard of the sleeping walking incident.

If not, here's the short version.

Basically, I had this dream that I was crabwalking through a tunnel on a college visit and it turns out I was actually crabwalking down my bed. And the metal bar that I felt by my feet was real. I stepped on an office chair and it flew out from under me so naturally I grabbed the closest object to me to regain my balance, that just happened to be a dresser.

I woke up on the ground - tile floor was especially cold that night - with something really heavy on top of me and I couldn't move. About 10 minutes later, after the panic attacks had stopped - I realized that I had a roommate.

Juwanna thought the screaming was just me having a bad dream. So did I - somewhere between all the flailing and the blacking out - though that changed when she turned the lights on and went "oh my god!"

Then, when I could actually see that the giant object crushing me to the floor was in fact my own dresser, filled with my clothes and covered in my radio and my random crap that was now scattered all over my floor, I was able to realize that no, this was actually happening and it would probably be a wise idea to, in the future, just sleep on the floor of a room with padded walls.

Anyway, my ankle got crushed somewhere between the dresser falling and it being lifted off of me.

Juwanna went to get the dorm-mom, who naturally had to call the Dean - oh yeah, the Dean of the high school - at like 2AM - then she gave me a glass of water and put me back to bed.

I woke up in the morning with her at the base of my bed asking if I could get up.

I took one step and totally face planted - again on the cold tile floor.

That's when she said, "well, guess we should call your parents."
"Crap."

Still haven't heard the end of that one.

Yes, that was the short version.

Granted I don't remove painting from walls like one former coworker but I'm pretty sure that one can top any of your sleep-walking stories.

I lost myself.

Oh right, so yeah, that's the last time I remember having no control of my body and not being able to regain my balance before I fell straight to the ground.

So that made for a fun morning.

The dude was actually very efficient.

And chatty.

So that made the fact that he was cleaning my carpet as I sat on the couch less awkward.

Carter hid out in the kitchen the whole time - he's not so good with loud noises - but the carpet has never looked cleaner.

It took all day for the carpets to dry, watched 10 Things I Hate About You amongst other things, much funnier than I remember. But hysterical cause I was quoting it as it went. Didn't realize I had watched it that many times growing up, but apparently so.

Now everything is back in its place.

Though I'm thinking of asking my parents if they can take my foosball table and store it for me until I have a house and a place to put it.

Cause I can't get rid of it, cause it's like a memorabilia thing, you know? And the third best Christmas present ever.

The first being Maroon 5 tickets from my boyfriend and the second being a signed script from Charmed from Second Sister.

Yes, I am one of those Charmed nerds.

I could be queen of all Charmed nerds can cause I can list episode titles from all 8 seasons and quote from each of them as well.

Speaking of quotes, so my original intention - before all these ramblings - was to go through my box of random crap that I've collected since I moved here that's filled with all sorts of coworker and patrons quotes from the three years that I've worked in the library system.

Yes, as of today, it has officially been three years of working at the work branch - technically it was 3 years in the system as of the 16th cause that's when I started at the home branch, but I already did a big post about the home branch my last day there, so, here's to three years.


Things overheard at the library:

"It takes two to screw up a tango. Or something like that."

"Why would anyone want to eat anything that pink?"

"My sickle's in the car."

"Give me the one with the naked dancing men."

"Don't give me virgins, no!"

"There's so much water around the mosquitoes are gonna be as big as small birds this year!"

"We could call it PITA - Pain In The Ass!"
"Yeah, BYOP - Bring Your Own Painkiller."

"That's my mean look."
"You need practice."

"I left it on a cruise ship."

"She kept constantly murdering people in hopes of meeting Angela Landsbury."

"Do you get paid to sit there and look pretty?....And she's smart too!"

"I would have cussed him out in Russian."


Coworker Moments:

Fearless Leader holding up a copy of Legally Blonde the Musical: "THIS is why I hate musicals!"

Little Shelver Boy: "Can you check out anything in the library?"
Slim Shady: "Yes."
Little Shelver Boy: "Then can I check you out?"
Slim Shady: "Don't you have books to shelve?"

Queen of Awesome: "Trash it and do a happy dance."

Space Cadet: "Screw the fan, you want an e-reader!"

Me: "He went all Hulk and broke in!"
InfoMan: "The lights were still off!"

Me: "I just got an LOL from Superwoman. Brings me back to my MSN Messenger days. 'BRB' I'm not actually going anywhere but neither is this conversation."

Shirley: "You've been naughty so here's the scoop. Your Christmas gift is snowman poop!"

Girlscout: "My orca is gonna attack your porpoise."

Me: "Wicked? It's like the ultimate fan fiction."

Patron: "Hey, I'm trying to get my groove on here."
New Guy: "You're gonna have to get your groove on somewhere else."

Space Cadet: "You deserve like a sticker. or a gold star. or a pizza."
Superwoman: "Oh good grief, she would say pizza."

Space Cadet: "If I yell-"
Me: "I will run."

Superwoman: "It's a psychological thriller."
Slim Shady: "What does that mean in the context of ballerinas?"

Super Librarian Status: "Someone tried to flush a copy of The Economist down the toilet."
Me: "Irony."

Queen of Awesome: "I am envious of your boxes."

Me: "You looked all serious."
Space Cadet: "I am serious, I gotta get rid of this 7Up!"

Me: "You're a fan of Charlie's Angels?"
KPH: "I'm a fan of girls in general."

Me: "Here is my phone number so you can stop calling my mother."
Superwoman: "Maybe we like talking to your mother."

Fearless Leader: "I tried to use p-slip as a verb, p-slipping, don't do it."

Me: "Codeword: Josh."
Slim Shady: "You're good. You're really really good."

Me: "Some dude got bit by a rattlesnake at Walmart."
Library Judge: "Yeah, but it only caused 60% damage."

QotKU: "I don't want to cougar him."

QotKU: "I'll wait for the hot firefighters."

Me: "We should write a book called 'What the hell were we thinking: The Hindsight Bias.' We could have a chapter called 'Relationship Mistakes, Mishaps and Malfunctions."

Cabin Fever: "Tell them you worship snakes. Always works for me."

Darth Scheduler: "A joyous observation on the day of your birth!"
Me: "What?"
Darth Scheduler: "Happy birthday."

Me: "You threw away the plant?"
Koha Queen: "It was dead!"

Me: "Well, in the words of Eric Overmeier..."

KPH: "I'm a sweater addict, I admit that freely. She wanted fashion in the 80's, has that changed?"

Me: "Does the coffee machine in the breakroom work?"
Fearless Leader: "Don't do it!"

Me: "Just say no to vending machine orange juice."

Me: "Justin Bieber wants to know if I like pie. What do I say? Now he's threatening to mug me if I don't answer."

Sensei: "I think this is a lovely start to the book you're going to write. I will be happy to provide color commentary."

InfoMan: "What happens in the library stays in the library."
Girlscout: "Or checks out for three weeks."

Supervisor: "Let's take 'em down!"
Me: "I gotta go upstairs, you're gonna have to 'take 'em down!' with Jeff."

Darth Scheduler: "Arg the pirate caveman."

Slim Shady: "Just say 'ew' and walk away."

Me: "Does that container say 'barf chips'?"
Glee-Loving Boss: "Yes, they are waste pickup deoderizers."

Me: "What are face aerobics?"

Extra
Second Sister: "If he shows up at your apartment do not let him in. Break up with him over the intercom."
Me: "An intercom breakup?"
Second Sister: "Oh yeah, they're all the rage."

Seth Godin: "We need librarians more than we ever did. What we don't need are more clerks who guard dead paper."

Random Notes in bin
$0.25 for slot machine from Supply Queen - quarter spent in Vegas



Wow.

That was a lot.

But it was three years.

Three years of awesomeness.

Here's to three more.

"Don't you ever interrupt me while I'm readin' a book!"

Okay, it's official.

People at the library know me.

And not just any people.

Coworker people.

Because the pranks have begun.

And it's on. Like Donkey Kong.

Today I came in to work and- okay, I love my family. They're terrific. Oldest Sister included. But see, she comes into the library and enjoys embarrassing me, fixing my clothes, making fun of my hair, etc. Which just gives my coworkers ammo.

Like the time when she wanted me to go get a flu shot and I said I'd rather get sick than get the shot.

It's a proven theory. I got H1N1 in college. Oh yeah, I was one of those. And suffered through it gladly because I don't like needles and pass out at the sight or mention of blood.

But she gave me crap, saying she'd go with me and hold my hand. Meanwhile my Glee-Loving Boss just laughed.

Today I check my mailbox and find a flyer for "Flumist Nasal Spray!!"

Guess who put that there.

It's on Mr. Boss Man. Glee-Loving Boss is going down. No idea how I'll get him back. Perhaps I'll ask for a consult. I bet Sensei would have ideas.

Quotes of the Day: yes, they're all library-related. deal.

Space Cadet: "We gotta get rid of that tacky looking junk!"
we worked on weed lists today. which are always fun. until you have to weed a book that you actually read and enjoyed. sad day.

SLS: "I have Super Librarian Status."
Me: "Well, there's a new nickname."
This coming from the supervisor at my first real interview ever, who, when I was working with him right before my 21st birthday said, "Take it from me. You can't drink all the liquor in town. I've tried." I enjoy him, he's quite amusing. And now he'll be known as "Super Librarian Status."

Girlscout: "It's the 7up!"
SLS: "I hate that stuff."
he's not the only one in that place who hates it. last year Space Cadet pawned a case off on me.

Me: "You looked all serious, I thought I was in trouble."
Space Cadet: "I am serious, I gotta get rid of this 7up!"

Me: "You rock Superwoman!"
Superwoman: "I feel sort of rocky at times!"
cause she tells me I work too many hours.

then she recommends music.

check this one out:

"I'm Reading a Book" Julian Smith

i busted out laughing at 2:05 just because of the randomness. that's fantastic.

Here are some recommendations back for you.

Librarians Go Gaga

"don't forget the databases..."


Librarians Will Survive

"alphabetize!"


Dewey Decimal Rap

i especially like it when he breaks down the system saying what's in each area. sad thing is i knew all that.


and just because i think it's fantastic:
Masters of Library Science Croquet Tournament

"passed the sand trap, around the water hazard..." awesomeness.

Originally I was 9-8 tomorrow, now I'm 1-8 instead. Will enjoy sleeping in while it lasts. Should konk out soon if I'm going to enjoy it. Oh, maybe watch some Criminal Minds I've recorded. I attempted to watch Harry's Law but I don't know if I like it as much anymore. There's all these new characters and they work in a new setting and blah. I like that Tommy is around more, but still, they've completely changed the show. However, Harry is still the same, so I'll stick with it.

Music for the night:....other than those clips above...

This Midwest Week is turning more into a Central Time Zone Week but "Midwest Week" sounds better so I'm sticking with it.

Here's your South Dakota and some more Texas.

"The Deadwood Stage" Calamity Jane

love 2:42-3:42.
this was my favorite movie growing up. i blame that on my aunt. this and oklahoma. yes i was a musicals kind of girl. explains a lot.

although in the movie i think this is my favorite:
"I Can Do Without You"

doris day says it's her favorite movie she's ever done. no question why. you should check it out, it's worth it.

"All My Ex's Live In Texas" George Strait

george strait really is the king.

I sang that in the jNonfiction section while shelving once, not realizing that there was a woman there. She smiled so I kept singing.

that's all she wrote...