Mom officially has Facebook. Watch out world.

I got a new phone today.

Well, I should say, I bought a new phone today.

I don't get it until next week.

I know you're all oh-so-excited.

But you have no idea how frustrating my current phone is.

In order to make a phone call I have to go into my contacts and pick a name, I can't just enter in a number. It takes me back to the home screen as soon as I hit send.

Then when I'm texting the words don't show up on the screen and I have to restart the phone.

I can't see photos on Facebook.

And then half the time the internet doesn't pick up a signal so I have to restart for that too.

It got to the point where I was restarting my phone like 7-8 times a day.

And I've had it since college so yeah, definitely excited to get my new one on Monday.

Cause I have Sunday and Monday off again next week, woohoo!

So yes, I gave you a break and took the weekend off from posting.

Actually our internet was down.

So.

Yeah.

No, actually it was nice just kind of getting away from everything for the weekend.

Had a lot of fun with friends and family back home.

Started off with a camp meeting on Saturday afternoon.

Sent out our postcards with info about registration.

Actually it was funny because usually we send out individual forms and it takes like 5 hours, this time we put labels on postcards directing people to our website to print out the forms - they're also being sent to churches and they will print paper copies - and it took like less than 30 minutes.

We didn't know what to do with ourselves.

So we got icecream.

Which is a recurring theme.

And then just jammed for a while.

Afterward I dropped my stuff at home - long enough for Dad to make me watch 30 seconds of American Hoggers cause apparently I couldn't wait a day until seeing what the dad looks like.

Yeah.

I'll get there.

And then headed up to see the boyfriend.

It stormed.

He put my car in.

Such a nice boyfriend.

We watched a movie.

For the life of me I don't remember - oh yeah, the Whole Nine Yards.


Two of my favorite actors - Matthew Perry and Bruce Willis.

Actors of Awesomeness.

I had seen the sequel - like 10 years ago I don't remember anything about it - but I hadn't seen the first one.

It was pretty good.

After that I headed out to the farm, went to the home church, got to see some old friends there.

Went out to lunch with the parentals and Homey G-Wigger.

Took a nap.

And then - okay, so here's the funny part of the weekend.

For Mother's Day all Mom wanted was for me to come home and clean my room.

The funny part about that is that none of the stuff that we cleaned was mine.

So while yes, it was my room, it was not my stuff.

Cause her office has exploded onto my floor.

But now it's all clean, and almost unrecognizable.



Well, to those of you who know me anyway.

They used to laugh because it was always a pit and there was just a path from the door to the bed and then the rest was covered in junk.

But now even the closets are clean.

And I cleaned out her fridge.

Threw out the cheese from November 2012.

Which I'm pretty sure was when I last cleaned out her fridge.

Limited the cream cheese stash from 9 boxes to 6.

Second Sister brought out her kiddos and we ordered burgers from Strang.

Population 50.

Best food around, you should check it out.

The boyfriend came out so then of course while he had both of us there Dad made us watch American Hoggers.

Since the boyfriend knew the title of the show according to Dad he was a fan - he was not a fan - so after burgers we watched not one but two episodes.

What I don't get is that the girls on there are so normal!

Like, they look like they could be city girls living city life - there's no overwhelming accent or personality - and then you see the dad and the brother and you're like whoa....

Yeah, no.

I'll stick with Swamp People.

I can live with being subjected to that.

American Hoggers not so much.

Remember my Dad's DVR post?

Should do that again next weekend cause there are soooo way more of them now.

So that was Sunday.

Since Second Sister and her kids took my room - which was clean but wasn't for long while they were there - I got the north room and fell asleep watching All That.

I miss 90's TV.

My favorite non-animated show from childhood.

Cause it was that, Scooby Doo and Garfield.

Classics.

If you haven't seen it it's basically the kid version of SNL.

I have a post on here about it somewhere.

Yeah.

"Oh no, the babysitter exploded!"

They have this sketch with Lori Beth Denberg where she's this obnoxious librarian.



"quiet!! this is a library!!!"

Ha, right.

What's cool is that Keenan started on that and now he's on SNL.

Anyway, so this morning Jim O and Homey G-Wigger and I went golfing.

9 holes, we rocked it.

Par'd it up.

But our par is different than other peoples' par.

Cause we go with like 6-8 strokes as par.



Cause that's par for us.

Except during the actual tournament then we keep track.

Well, Pastor keeps track.

We joke that he gets us to the green so we just need to be able to put.

But we had some good ones this morning.

Like I used a wedge and hit from like 40 feet away to like 2 feet from the hole.

Picked up a couple of extra golf balls, lying about.

And she didn't throw me out of the cart so I'm calling it a victory.

After that ate supper with the family, played some softball with the kiddos.



Everyone kept throwing the ball at mom and she freaks out every time.

It's so funny, when she had to play church softball cause we were short on girls we put her in right field. A ball got hit over her head and as she's running toward it I hear "you told me they never hit it out here!!"

But softball was fun, it was just the kids that bat.

Batted?

Hit the ball.

We fielded.

Then I set Mom up on Facebook.

I know, watch out world.

She's excited to keep up with family and look at pictures.

After they all left I went up to look at phones.

Long line, took forever, but I found one that's similar to the one I have now yet completely different and super new.

And the chick who got me set up put an order in for one for herself and she knows way more about phones than I do.

I'm excited.

Stopped by the boyfriend's place on the way back home.

Went out to eat then I headed back.

Came through the door and Carter about tackled me.

He was not pleased when I closed the bathroom door to take a shower cause then it was like I was leaving him again.

I know, he's spoiled.

But he's cute.

Alright, gonna konk out.

Hope you had a good weekend.

Back to work tomorrow plus the backlog for being closed today.

Love Somebody - Official Double Take cover

awesome cover.

Remember, Remember the Fifth of November: Take Three

Oh....my....god.

Just.

There are no other words.

To describe what happened today at work.

Okay, so in college my friend Schwartz (even though she is no longer schwartz but i will call her that until we die) and I formed this group on Facebook called "Awkward Moments at Concordia" and we filled it with stories about awkward moments that happened at Concordia, like your car alarm going off repeatedly in the parking lot and how it wouldn't even stop going off as you were driving down the road, or getting a rose on the first date from this guy you took a math class with, or having people assume you're engaged because you shared a hymnal with someone at chapel, and so on and so forth.

Today I'd like to add a new category to this blog entitled: Awkward Moments at the Library.

Today's awkward moment topped even the "likes ass or jazz" conversation mentioned here: My Life in Closed Captions: This Magnet Moment...

Topped it by far.

Topped the whole freaking list.

Soared over the whole freaking top of the list.

That I could spell out to you in detail, or you could just read the blog, it's full of awkward recollections of awkward moments.

Anyway, so yeah. Okay, how do I put this in words?

I'm still a little in shock.

Basically,

Um,

So I was helping this older lady in the lab download some files onto her flashdrive. And she wanted to make sure that they had loaded. So we unplugged it and plugged it back in and she clicked on one that was a video. And, this is when we learned, that if you open a new video in window's media player, the former video that was playing on it, remains there.

And um, I should probably mention that this was an unfiltered computer. And leave the rest up to your imagination.

Just. Oh my god. Imagine the worst video that could pop up on the screen when you're showing someone who could be your grandmother how to make sure her files downloaded.

Oh my god.

Just oh my god.

Um, yeah, "closing out of that window."

She was horrified.

As was I.

Oh my god.

And, as I stumbled out of the lab and approached the desk at what was now shift-change, there were literally no words that came out of my mouth.

Athough I was apparently completely red.

The Reference Queen - yes we have a queen and the king is so-named "infoman" - says she's never seen me that speechless.

And continued to tease me for the rest of the day.

As did the Queen of the Known Universe, asking if I'd learned anything new.

Oh my god.

Seriously.

Just, there are no words.

So, we're just gonna move on and ignore the tears currently rolling down my face from laughter at this whole thing.

See, it's funny now. But at the time, I just. Oh my god. Worse than being yelled at by angry patrons. See, with them, I can walk it off and go back and do my job knowing that the percentage of the next person in line being more bitchy than the bitch before them is very low.

But see, now I'm like scarred for life from the lab and helping people download files. Cause. Just. No. I don't. There's not. I can't. Just no. No.

Of all the people that I could have been helping it had to be a older lady. and then AND THEN, the kid across the aisle jumps up and asks "are you having computer problems? cause I'm a computer student." I literally jumped up from my knees and yelled, "no! no, we're good. thanks." Because as fun as it would be for that to get announced in a crowded enclosed space, it would just make this nightmare worse.

So yeah, that was my day. I mean, it was good up until then. Slept in, had a good lunch, made plans for Friday, got to work with some of my favorite people, but yeah. That's what's burned into my brain from this day.

And, maybe, showing you some of these will make that one go away. Oh my god.

Alright, continuing the "one year" theme, here's some pics from across the year.

I'll start with ones you haven't seen.


My Life in Closed Captions: Our drinking team has a golfing problem I think this was around hole number eight. Or maybe it was more like five. Either way, it was a day of awesomeness.



My Life in Closed Captions: This is a week of my favorite things Day Three: Te... White walls and sterylized equipment. Yeah. I think we got it.


My Life in Closed Captions: 2G's version of Oh Lord of Light The finalized verses of our version.


I have no explanation for this, I just think it's the best plant ever. Something even I couldn't kill.


My Life in Closed Captions: And no one's getting fat except mama cass. Taking a break from post-camp processing.


Carter likes to sleep on my stomach. All the time.


It's the Death Star of Awesomeness. Star Wars going away party at work.


He likes to pounce on the door. So I put up an obstacle. And he freaking climbed the obstacle and was still able to pounce on the door.


My Life in Closed Captions: I've never heard silence quite this loud. And *pbbt* you was gone.


My Life in Closed Captions: Camp J 2011 Highlights JANSEN!


Plus some you have seen:

My Life in Closed Captions: Well I ain't first class, but I ain't white trash.... Spawn of Awesome

My Life in Closed Captions: To dye, or not to dye? That is the question. Receipt Printers Gone Wild

alright, tomorrow is clips and quotes and probably some other random stuff as well.