Today I did everything I kept pushing off and avoiding.
And the funny thing was that it took like maybe an hour.
Combined.
It wasn't like big stuff.
That's why I kept putting it off, cause it wasn't, well I mean it was. One of them was a life plan that I have to submit and people have to approve, so I guess that's kind of big, but the rest weren't as bad as I thought they'd be.
Besides those things that aren't so big, but I guess were kind of huge, I signed up for a parking spot, huzzah! I get to use it tomorrow. Now watch me lose my key. That'd be fantastic. I'd have to call Oldest Sister to come and get me. She'd love that.
I also cleaned my apartment today.
My big fat cat approves.
He doesn't approve of the vacuum, but he likes the clean apartment. He can now prowl the floor. All of it. Not just a path I have cleaned for him to walk through.
This is, afterall, his apartment. I just stay here. or that's what he thinks. Right now he's thinking "get that camera out of my face. I'm trying to sleep you crazy woman". He sounds a lot like Garfield. Looks a bit like him too.
Anyway, so we're up to the W's, and holy toast man, there are a lot more W's than I thought there would be. I had to do some major cutting. One of them, of course, I couldn't cut. AND I'd give you the original recording but I'd first have to find it. Then upload it. Then put it on youtube. Then post it here.
It's a process.
But I gotta find it first.
Cause it's around here somewhere.
Anyway, moving on.
"The Way" - Fastball
this song was originally on my old computer, back when i had first started uploading all my music. you know, before it crashed and i had to do it all again? anyway, i never knew it's actual name until recently when i went through and fixed everything. up until a couple years ago it was just entitled "THE SONG THAT IS ALWAYS STUCK IN MY HEAD" capital letters included. this was mostly true when i was in arizona for basketball, but it comes back with a vengeance at the most random of times.
"We Both Reached For The Gun" Richard Gere, Christine Baranski, Renee Zellweger and Chicago Cast
"are you sorry?" "are you kidding?" love the puppet factor, super cool.
saw this movie with my mom and oldest sister when it first came out in 2002 and loved it. i'm kind of a musicals junkie so glee was like perfection. notice the "was". not so much anymore. i actually haven't watched a single episode from this season. there's too much drama involved now. it was funny and original at first. now it's just like trying too hard or something. i don't know, maybe that's just me. thoughts?
"Who's That Guy" Cast of Grease 2
people you will recognize: Michelle Pfeifer and Shooter McGavin. yes, Tommy Jefferson can sing.
did i mention i'm a musicals junkie?
i love this movie. it's incredible cheesiness makes for a great break from reality. clearly not as well-written and popular as the first one, but it makes an effort. it takes place at the same high school, just after the seniors had graduated and they're replaced by new ones. Frenchie guest stars, but she's the only student crossover. The teachers and Coach whatever is still there as well. Michael is a tranfer student who falls in love with Michelle Pfeifer's character but she only dates "Cool Rider"s - she dedicates a song to it as she dances down a street (sketch dared me to do that dance passed the cafeteria) - so he buys a bike and learns how to ride it. Throw in a Luau and some Calendar Girls and you've got the movie in a nutshell.
"We Didn't Start Camp J" Delayed...Reaction
so this is my fake band. well, i guess we write and perform music so we're not so fake.
we write a different song every year the both of us are at camp.
it started back in 2007. it was his first year at camp and we wrote and performed a song to cheer up one of our counselors. i said i always wanted to name a band delayed...reaction, he liked it and it stuck. now we karaoke and all that.
This is my favorite of our songs. I like the original recording better as it's more spontaneous and funny, but I'll get to that one later.
We write down anecdotes and highlights throughout camp, then put them all together, make the rhyme and film it the night before our last day.
Pretty much every line has a reference to a specific incident from that year. Like in this one...okay, I guess I can't really nutshell it.
Though I will tell you my themes for that year were "Inappropriate Comment Withheld", and "Dead people don't giggle!" which you will often hear me say since I direct the skits and worship stuff.
But, since I have the time, Here. Try this.
Fairbury Nebraska – location of camp
Warmer than Alaska – duh
Sitting here at a camp – at a table in the cafeteria
Watching rain make it damp – pouring rain
Decided to write a song
Sure it will be plenty long – we had four pages of memories and anecdotes that we cut down
We decided to convey
Highlights of Camp J – originally we were going to use the tune ‘Pop Muzik’ “Talk about, Camp J!” but this one worked better with the lyrics
Wrote a song about GADE – “The Ballad of GADE” aka “His Name Was GADE”, Camp J 2007 for Kitzworld’s amusement mostly because of an interaction with a certain camper. We substituted GADE for the name because at that time I could only play those four chords on my guitar (but we only used the g-chord anyway)
On YouTube it often played – uploaded (thanks Philip) onto YouTube
Next year was sci-fi – more specifically “Cosmo’s War of the Planets” which is fabulous and if you haven’t seen it you really should. I mean it’s terrible, but it’s worth it.
Watching little aliens fry – “War of the Planets” to the tune of “War” by Edwin Starr has yet to be finished…
Writing skits at one at night – cause I’m a procrastinator and this happens yearly
Won’t stop ‘til we get it right – cause we didn’t have a choice – btw thanks partner
Made them eat some killer eggs – the main one we wrote, “Killer Eggs,” at 1AM went over the best
Then they fell upon their legs – major crowd-pleaser, gotta love the slow motion, speed it up, hate the camera-girl thing
We didn’t start Camp J – since I wasn’t born in ’82 and he was like 1 we definitely were not apart of that whole pioneer family process
It’s a one week stay – for those of us crazy enough to take part in teen camp as well as regular camp
Cause we get no pay – if it were any longer we would be demanding something
We didn't start Camp J
Writer's Block - okay so we had no idea what to finish the refrain with so we told the truth. Writer’s block. Major writer’s block. So we used it.
The kitchen’s hot – looked around, hey it’s kitchen. And it’s hot. Look that semi-rhymes with “writer’s block”
Carrie’s corn in the trunk – my parents decided to pack the trunk of my car with 300 ears of corn for the kids,
Have to take out all the junk – kitchen workers were thrilled ‘til they had to help unload it
Cheesy movies on the wall – Cosmo’s War of the Planets was of course one of them, we use the projector and aim it at one of the walls to the cafeteria. Clue has become another yearly tradition
Watching Adeline fall – our camp mascot, Adeline is our new pastor’s daughter and had some major spills. Not really her fault with all the massive tree roots and junk all over
Lots of Greg Schwartz hugs / Jim Cantrell hugs, there were two versions of this line as I got hugged by them both more than once.
Steve and all his water jugs – gotta love those water balloons? steve is our games leader
No wireless service – frustration for David and I
Heidie serves no purpose – THIS WAS NOT MY LINE. I love you Heidie. You are one of the coolest people with a bicycle that I know. Cory!! Wrote this line because we were trying to use Heidie for her wireless internet but she was busy. Basically we just needed someone to go to YouTube and play GADE for us because we couldn’t remember our own lyrics. long story.
Jim O’s answering machine – if you were lucky enough to catch his voicemail before the power went out in Grafton and erased it you would know to what we are referring to. If not… Jim O had a female friend set up his voicemail message for him in a suggestive way. Haha. That’s all I’m saying.
Cherokee wasn’t clean – Jim, Liz and I had to inspect cabins for the “cleanest cabin” award and when we entered that cabin which was occupied by the teen girl help we decided it was more like a boys’ cabin than a girls’ one
Creature in the chimney – some animal, bird, squirrel, bat, something was making noises
No Brandon Richie?! – confusion ensued when one of our counselors mysteriously didn’t show up
Ancient Indians, Astronauts – two skits I used that year were “How ancient Indians used to tell time” and then one about astronauts telling jokes in space. I made the 8th graders sing and tell jokes. It was fabulous. They hated me.
Children have to sleep on cots – more like air mattresses but that didn’t rhyme
Blame it all on Vista – okay if you know me this makes sense. If not, here you go. I blame everything on Vista. Even if it has nothing to do with computers. There was a lot of blaming Vista during this whole camp thing with the admissions, registration, cabins, schedule, campers, counselors, nametags, folders, t-shirts, bank account, song books, skits and worship etc. etc. process.
Carson took a pista – one camper in particular enjoyed going to the bathroom outside
We didn’t start Camp J
It’s a one week stay
Cause we get no pay
We didn’t start Camp J
Writers block…
Watchin’ you like a hawk – this was a James Coates original, centered around one of his campers and a girl in the same grade. they were constantly around each other and James would gesture that he was watching him when the girl was around because it would freak the boy out. Whether or not I’m related to the girl has yet to be determined. Okay she just happens to be my niece. Whatever.
Boggs and Martha MIA – two of our very favorite people missed out on teen camp this year and we were saddened enough to include it in our song.
No Harper Valley PTA – Jess was too cool for karaoke – not really, she was just busy with her triplets but Josh told us to make her sing Harper Valley PTA.
Jess: Wanna hear a story about a Harper Valley widowed wife?
Me: The one who had a teenage daughter who attended Harper Valley Junior High?
Jess: That’s the one!
Aaliyah, Wham, Beat Goes On - songs/artists Cory and I sang for karaoke
Summer Nights, dirty song – pastor and his wife sang Summer Nights from Grease but the adult parody version played on the screen by accident…for like a second until it was realized and fixed. yeah bet you didn't know that even existed, huh? me neither.
Screaming out Menominee – every time I read or heard or said Menominee, which is the name of one of the cabins, I was reminded of the muppets sketch of Mahna Mahna and started singing the song. It was a long camp process.
No knuckles for Cory – because he was mean. So I refused to give him knuckles. He tried to win me back with his sudden correct usage of the English language and cheesy jokes and eventually redeemed himself.
No more alcohol – Teen Camp Jefferson 2008. don’t ask.
Avoid the weed, Megan falls – walking back to the tents in the dark with Megan and Bethany is always an experience. Just a weird phrase I said. And it’s weed. Not weeds. Then while bowling I yelled it while Megan was up to screw her over and she fell over laughing. Awesomeness.
Cantrell’s quarter game – every year he hides a quarter beneath a piece of trash and if the kid brings it to him and the piece of trash then he’ll give them a dollar. Some weird bribe to get kids to pick up the trash lying around camp.
Collecting trash is so lame – general statement.
If you build it they will come
It you burn it they will run – another weird phrase that came to me while sitting at the table with pastor before we both fell asleep at that table from boredom between camps.
Red carpeted awards – liz and I made them walk down the red carpet to receive their awards
Cassie, Katey, fake swords – my backstage help for skits, they made me the weapons used in the 5&6th grade boys “Boot Camp” skit. Bangity-bang-bang. Stabbity-stab-stab. Etc.
Butter knife, fatty steak – trying to eat steak with a butter knife is harder than it sounds
Leaking jug of Kool-Aid – big red stain left on one of the tables in the cafeteria
We didn’t start Camp J
It’s a one week stay
Cause we get no pay
We didn’t start Camp J
Writer’s block…
Greta stop!! – Greta is the first victim to get hosed by the monster in “Cosmo’s War of the Planets.” Screaming “Stop!!” at the cafeteria wall does NOT stop her from going into that cave.
Karaoke no one sang – well they did, just not a lot of them.
Often times the bell rang – apparently the phrase “often times” is not a grammatically correct phrase in the English language.
No tubing, too much bank – not enough water in the river to go tubing
Tankity-tank-tank – final/punch line to the “Boot Camp” skit. this line sticks with almost every one i know that was there that year. we still say it repeatedly because it's a fantastic skit.
Softball in the dark – played softball ‘til it was dark. then continued playing anyway.
Miss the old Mariokart – casual conversation
Lights, Camera, Action theme – theme for this year, hence the red-carpeted awards
Snipes vs. Gangrene – softball in the dark’s teams
New sound system losing voice – Jim O is awesome and donated a bunch of microphones and speakers and stuff to camp this year, and my voice is always toast after a week straight of singing
No campfire it’s my choice – cause I didn’t want to run a campfire this year so we did it in the chapel
You are not the boss of me – Cantrell bossing me around when technically I was the boss of him
Girls with the munchies – went to Walmart around midnight and in the lane next to us two teenage girls checked out with pizza
We didn’t start Camp J
It’s a one week stay
Cause we get no pay
We didn’t start Camp J
Writer’s block…
But we just can’t stop – somehow still going
Buying out Ray’s Applebarn – grocery shopping for camp with Jim is always an adventure. even though technically it's ray's apple market.
Adapter made for three prongs – stupid three-pronged chords
Ahren’s prayer, frogs are green – Ahren, one of the teens, volunteered to say a prayer, every year I make Jim a necklace that says “frogs are green” because one day in vbs like 6 years ago he told me frogs are red. Totally not red.
Jim Cantrell is really mean – general statement, though i don't think so anymore. after a year doing night patrol i understand.
Hillman’s sad Carrie won’t share – wrong place, wrong time, sitting by the cafeteria when josh and the boys decide to talk about which stalls they use in the bathroom, I get up to leave cause um, gross, and josh asks me. When I refuse to answer and continue walking I hear “Shaaaaaare!!!! Carrie won’t shaaaaare!!” in this high pitch voice that still cracks me up.
Clothesline filled with underwear – it rhymed with share
80s music, happy bird – listened to a lot of 80s music, Jim O hates happy birds – camp J 2008, don’t ask (he also hates cheesy towel racks, sanding ceilings, song books, addressing and mailing a massive amount of letters and many other things that I could list. Camp is really long process in which you get to know your partner very well.)
“Really” is a funny word – my nephew says “really” in this really weird voice and it’s catching on
Playing lots of tetherball – we didn’t but the teens did
Air mattress, Taj Mahal – more procrastination, Jim O and I set up Meg, Beth and my air mattresses in the dark of night and one of them was ginormously tall. Yes I am a writer and yes I did just use the word ginormously. The two person one for Meg and Beth literally knocked him over. (add air mattresses to that list.)
Night blindness, camera flash – took pictures of them playing softball and it had a blinding effect
Poison ivy gives you rash – general statement. Be on the lookout.
Drinking coffee when it’s hot – I made fun of Cory ‘til I needed it too then Josh made fun of us…
DVD of Hitchcock – Walmart cheap dvd set that has yet to be watched, I’m guessing at least
Pizza with your girlfriend – is it absolutely necessary to sit next to your girlfriend while you’re eating pizza at a camp?
West Side Story, does it end? – movie was longer than expected
We didn’t start Camp J
It’s a one week stay
Cause we get no pay
We didn’t start Camp J
Writer’s block…The smores are hot – and good too…
And hot and hot and hot…We didn’t start Camp J
Keeping Carrie sane
Or she’ll lose her brain – true statement, I told Cory and Jim they needed to get me through camp and somehow they did it
We didn’t start Camp J
We’re counting down the days
‘Til we leave this place… - and we were…
