Remember, Remember the Fifth of November: Take Six

Oh my god, Oh my god, the snake on Bones, totally disgusting. Did anyone else watch that? I'm still screaming.

Alright, more Quotes of the Year

Friends:

Lori: "Give him a pamphlet and tell him to find Jesus."
advice for making stalkers go away

Ben at the derby: "I could be wearing them now, You don't know what I'm wearing under these jeans." fishnet stockings...

Me: "That was pretty."
Ben: "That wasn't pretty at all. It was hardcore."
Me: "Right it was hardcore pretty!"

Wordsmith: When do I get a blender?
W's Mom: When you get married.
Wordsmith: How do you expect me to get a woman if I can't blend a margarita?

Me: “How do I make it go woo?”
D...R partner: “Tripods don’t make that noise.”
…
Me: “Did it work?”
D...R partner: “I guess we’ll find out if it falls down and breaks.”
pre-recording our Delayed...Reaction new songs

Juwanna: “That’s why I don’t know anything about babies, I ran after you!”
i'm sorry! but watching that on tv was just not appetizing at all!

Smo: “Show me your T-Magic!”
yeah, she actually said it. to T-Magic. well, yelled it at him as he was leaving.

Pastor: “Cause when I think of cheerleaders I think of the Golden Girls.” golfing. enough said.

Taylor: “Where’s your lost and found?”
Carrie the nurse: “Somebody lose their skivvies?”
Me: “Just put it on the table.”
Carrie: “Don’t put them there, I keep meds there!”
camp fun.

Jim/Me/Ken: JANSEN!
more camp fun.


Grad School:

Classmate: "I was in nursing until I realized I have no bedside manner." on life before the library

Classmate: "Just don't be a D-bag."
Me: "That's your mission statement?" that's his life code.

Classmate: "Unless he was quelling their rebellion by boring them to death." someone's comment of joy about the diary of a certain one of shackleton's crew members

Presenter: "Why do we collect statistics? Anyone?" *silence* "Okay!"

Classmate: "Yeah, but there's a difference between that and forgetting to put sauce on a big mac!" this chick is married to a military officer so they were talking about discipline and then this other dude's former boss was an officer and flipped out at this dude at mcdonalds for messing up his order. somehow that mistake got tied to officers making mistakes and having consequences.

Professor: "Note to self, it there's ice and a ship, don't go!" about titanic and shackleton.

Professor: "You need a plan, Shackleton."

Library Goddessisms:
-"That could bore the paint off walls..."
-"I'm so glad that spellcheck doesn't have a 'duh'... It took me five times to spell weenie..."
-"Got sexier than their server will support!"
-"Why are we looking up magazine articles on the Titanic? It sunk, we're over it...Why would you go to that movie? We know how it ends! I can save you some money, it sinks!"
-"Interoperability...haha, FACE!" excited she could spell it
-"Who, When, What, Where and then we have another Who...ish" about citation
-"That's why there are 800 books named 'Frog'!!.......I don't know where that example came from." since you can't put a copyright on a title
-"Ha! plus five!" pronounced a difficult last name correctly
-"Donkey Hotey" okay...I can't explain that one
-"I don't care if you have a girl middle and a boy high or a boy middle and a girl high...school! High school!" yeah...haha, gotta include school on that one.
-"Take the call but go down the hall, don't say Hey by the door. We don't care about your hey." but it was like "Hey" as in "Hey, Ho, Hey, Ho" hysterical.
-"You will not get a handout for your marriage." true dat.
-"They call it the highrise because it's the only building there with 2 stories."
-"Support a para-professional a year, pay your library fines!"
-"Hoarders...one time's all you need."
-"Practice in your car, they'll just think you're singing."
-"I've been booktalking since dirt!"
-"I've read that book four times and I still don't know what happens!"
-"Like we'd know if you mess up...if it falls apart just lie!" booktalks
-"Big plastic fish thing." Jaws, she was talking about Jaws.


TV:

Claudia (Warehouse 13): "Well, Serendipity is my stripper name." Oh Claudia, how much you add to Warehouse 13's already awesome level.

Wolcott: "Is there not a man in London you haven't charmed?"
Helena (HG) Wells: "Oscar Wilde, and not for lack of trying."

Castle: “How do you know when you’re in love?”
Beckett: “All of the songs make sense.”

Roz (Frasier): “Just passing by, thought I’d stop in for a career.”

Frasier: “We’ve decided to think it’s charming.”

Maya (Just Shoot Me): "Competition brings out the worst in people!"
Nina: "Actually bike shorts bring out the worst in people..."

Nina: “Guess what I got!”
Finch: “Why, are they stumped down at the clinic?”

The Chief (Carmen Sandiego): “If cheese isn’t safe in Wisconsin, nothing is safe in Wisconsin!”

Victoria (Hot in Cleveland): "God I hate jocks!"
Joy: "You were married to a wide receiver!"
Victoria: "I still don't know what sport that is!"

Carrie Fisher: “I just have basically too much personality for one person but not enough for two.”

Magwilde (Bonekickers): "It's like graveyard jenga down here." Freaking Bonekickers. Every thought in my head for weeks came out in a Scottish accent.

Victoria (Mike and Molly): “So yes, I do believe in Bigfoot. And yes, I think he’s a total jerk.”

Elphaba (Wicked): “Not everyone can come and go by bubble.”

Scott Pilgrim vs. the Universe: “He punched the highlights out of her hair!”

Kelly (Charlie's Angels): “You move it turkey, we were here first!”

General Beckman (Chuck): “It’s longer than my copy of Atlas Shrugged!”

Castle: “And now, I own a boat!”

love the horn at the end.

Random:

-Bumper Sticker: “Hit me, I need the excitement.”

-Rasputin was poisoned, shot and drowned.

-An Angler on the Amazon hit a beehive with his stick. In order to avoid the angry bees he jumped into the river and was eaten by piranhas.

-When in doubt shelf-read the jNonfiction. That place is always a disaster area.

-In 1865, in the war between Uruguay and Brazil, one of Uruguay's ships ran out of cannon balls so they fired chunks of stale Dutch cheese out of the cannons. One of them dismasted an enemy ship and killed two sailors.

-If you've ever had to haul a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor you may be a redneck.

-People used a rhyme in the olden days to remind others to stay away from Oak trees in a lightning storm. "The oak brings the stroke." Apparently oak trees were thought to be highly conductive.

-It's lucky to spit in your hand before you pick up your bat. It's unlucky to share bats with someone else. ....and now totally gross if you play with superstitious people.


A random collection of knowledge I know. That's the beauty of public libraries. The information is limitless, unlike academic or special libraries. Booyah.


New Life Mottos:
-Social life in progress
-Well that’s something to scrapbook
-At least the baby stopped crying
-I’m just coloring in the chicken feathers
-Black in the crevices
-I’m a constant surprise
-I’m just not hooked on your phonics
-That's a second Friends reference for those of you counting.
-Because everyone should have someone to scream at in a giant elephant.
-Another day another margarita
-And don't go all shrink on me. If you tried to analyze my crazy you'd drive yourself there.
-Is she telling me this because she expects me to be social?
-The Sideways Hat Theory
-I live my life behind the tab.


and that's all she wrote.