Hyvenese = Chinese from Hyvee

Oh the lessons I learn from my coworkers. I've never had their Chinese, but their sushi isn't awful.

I mean, it's not good, but it's not awful.


How does one say goodbye to a friend of 14 years?

From the outside it may appear as if she was only my 7th and 8th grade teacher, but the reality is so much more.

Let’s start from the beginning.

You know how there’s always that one kid that’s better friends with their teacher than their classmates?

The nerd who gets all their jokes and hangs out with them at recess?

That was me.

I blame it on the fact that my siblings are way older than me so I get along better with people who are older.

G Wigger and I bonded over the TV show Friends – the first of many shows we bonded over – and it went from there. I used to write her notes and draw her pictures. I’m pretty sure I was the favorite cause she let me where sunglasses indoors. Again, nerd.

When asked about that later she responded “you have to pick your battles.”

She put up with my tantrums when it came to math – it was not my favorite subject – and even after school got out we stayed in touch. Jump forward a few years and you’ll hit where the nerd in me decided that Jim and I could take over Camp J – no problem. Ha!

We invaded her classroom almost daily for an entire summer cleaning out boxes, updating files, creating schedules, assigning counselors, stuffing lanyards, and then sorting t-shirts and sending out mailings. She called herself Camp J’s “number one fan” and helped out even though she avoided the actual camp like the plague.

It was during all this Camp J prep that 2G was formed.

Every year my old high school hosts a golf tournament as a fundraiser for the school. We decided – having no golf experience whatsoever – that we would start a team of our own and compete. The team was made up of Pastor (our leader and the only one with actual golf talent from the start), Jim O, G-Wigger and myself. We came up with the nicknames Blackstone, Dash Riprock, Homey G-Wigger, and Choot ‘em Lizbet, respectively.

Eventually we’d put those nicknames on bright orange t-shirts so you could see us at all times.



Though, we were told, you didn’t need to see us to know where we were cause we were the loudest ones there so you could hear us from across the course. But hey, our drinking team has a golfing problem – what can we say?

Two out of the four years we’ve competed I was unceremoniously thrown from the cart. Though that might have been partly my fault since I was leaning out to grab wayward golf balls.

Plus I had to save Bertha. Don’t ask.

But it was worth the bumps and bruises.

Golf isn’t the only sport 2G competes in. Softball is actually our specialty. We play scrappy but we dominate. Every game G-Wigger and I would warm up together and after every game we would stop for icecream.

We told her that since the golf tournament is in the summer that she should come back for it every year, however since softball games are usually on Sunday nights in the fall that won’t be an option.

Our team will never be the same.

Sports weren’t our only thing recently. We’d go to movies – see post “At least the baby stopped crying” – or out for jalapeno margaritas.

The adventures are so numerous she even has her own tag. "Homey G Wigger". And only my favorite people get their own tag.

So how does one say goodbye to someone who’s had such an impact on one’s life?

I could thank her I suppose. For sticking with me through the good times and the bad. Tell her how grateful I am for all the times she was there for me. Not just for math but for everything.

But I still feel like that that doesn’t begin to cover how much of an influence she’s had on my life.

So I’ve decided instead of goodbye, it’s just so long for now. We’re gonna pen pal it up. And it’s not the end. She’ll be back for big events – confirmations, golf, and a wedding if it ever happens.

And that makes it easier.




Okay, on to happier, less emotional things.

Took a trip out to Illinois to visit the BFF. Sketch and Edit’s Excellent Adventure. Take Two.

Or is it three? Whatever, either way it rocked.

Minus the 9 hour drive it took to get there, that is.

We jammed. Made camo cake.

Check it out.







Gotta have orange frosting with a camo cake. It actually tasted pretty good.

Other cooking adventures included booze popsicles. Looks like sherbet, tastes like vodka.

Holy crap those were strong. It probably had to do with the fact that it wasn't just vodka it was also mixed with tequila. Knocked us on our butts.

Non-cooking adventures were catching up on Grey's, and we watched a bit of Raising Hope.

Which I’d seen part of like one episode one time, so now of course I had to check out season one from the library. It’s actually quite entertaining.

And then of course we hit up the races cause her boyfriend has a car. Like in the races. With a driver. Who's pretty good. Got second in his heat, but then it got rained out. So we jammed in the trailer. See Facebook for pictures.

It was good to see her. It had been like a year. Or two. More like two.

That should change.



What else? The boyfriend and I are doing great. We’ve been going to a lot of races lately. We hit up the World of Outlaws the other day in Greenwood and my guy won! After I had bought his t-shirt. And it’s awesome, it’s like a pit crew shirt with all the advertisements on it.

Plus he signed it.

I was proud that I picked him and that I got the shirt before he won the race instead of after. Plus he beat the guy who always wins and you gotta root for underdogs.

Races aren’t the only fun things we’re going to, a few weeks ago we went to my sister-in-law’s surprise 40th birthday party. The surprise part being the event we dragged her to Omaha for. It was a Murder Mystery party at a hotel – professionally done, it was fun.

We all had to pick aliases. I was Regina Philange.

Make me proud people, make me proud.

Mom was Cher. Dad was John Wayne. After picking the killer’s name as his alias and being told it was already in use (but not told it was the killer) the boyfriend went with Dr. Emmett Brown from Back to the Future.

I know, how does one pick the name of the killer out of the like 80 million names available? It was amusing.

The problem with their setup was that you had to be paying attention to nametags to figure out who-done-it cause the detectives who were supposed to be solving the crime did nothing but distract you. But that’s okay, we went for the fun of it and it was fun, even though I was forced to walk the cat walk to prove my innocence.

Long story.

This week we went fireworks shopping. And you know me with my fireworks. Hit up my mother ship. aka the Dorm Mom's stand. Got some good deals. I'm stoked!

After the 4th he and I are taking a trip to Iowa for another motorcar excursion so look forward to those highlights....

What else?

College World Series! My team won! Go Black Gold! The Cool Aunt was also for Vandy so anytime they did something good we’d text “black gold!” We saw them play live one of the years we went so that’s what we like them.

And speaking of a lot going on, I’ve been working tons on camp stuff. I’m getting excited, it’s coming up! Again this year we have more boys than girls but that may change since they have ‘til July 7th to turn everything in.

I'm really excited for my 7th and 8th graders skit. No HeeHaw this year but they're still singing. Don't worry, they won't hate this one.

And Smo is coming this year. I'm so excited! Gonna be my Skits and Worship helper. Which is good cause there will be lots...

Scale of Awesome’s for you:

Edge of Tomorrow


Scale of Awesome says 7/10. Interesting premise but not a huge fan of Tom Cruise.

Bowfinger


Scale of Awesome says 5/10. So horrible. Yet funny.

300


Scale of Awesome says 5/10. Am I the only person on this planet that didn't like this movie? I feel like it. It's only redeeming quality?



Gerard Butler. And the "This is Sparta" kick. That was badass.

On to the music:

Strong Enough - Cher


a month later and it's still in my head. awesomeness.

and one for an upcoming concert:

From Me To You - Beatles


so excited! debating what my favorite Beatles song is. this is one of many. Probably Hey Jude. Maybe Yesterday. Blackbird. Day Tripper. Paperback Writer. Hello Goodbye. Let it Be. Love Me Do. Yellow Submarine. She Loves You.

Too many good ones to choose from...

And I'm out. I promise it won't take me another month to post.

"Don't trip over the drainage pipe!"

Okay, another speed writing/speed reading post.

You have to read it fast to get the full effect.

Ready?

Go.

So yes, yesterday mostly sucked, but today made up for it.

Parade this morning - I drove the T-Bird while my niece sat on the back and threw candy.

We actually made it all the way through without running out of candy.

Which never happens.

I snagged some good ones - skittles, starbursts, etc.

Since we were car #5 we were able to park and then watch the rest of the parade.

I got beads.

It made me laugh because my cousins says I just attract them.

My old car used to have them hanging off of every surface.

In my new one they're in the drink holder in the back seat.

Now I have more to add to my collection.

After the parade I went home and took a nap.

It was awesome.

Oh and watched the Castle marathon on TNT.

Also awesome.

Still speed reading?

The siblings came out around 6 and we jammed at the house for a while until dinner at 7.

For some reason, even though we were eating inside, Mom put the cooler of pop outside - cause I think we were gonna eat at the cabin originally - anyway, so I went outside to get pop, grabbed some, closed the cooler, look up and there walks the boyfriend.

He surprised me.

Didn't think he could make it cause he had to work tonight.

So then all in my world was good again.

Ate our burgers and starting lighting stuff off.

We had fun with our Missouri purchases and then came the tank war.

See, I told him that Bubby was gonna be gone - cause they went to a wedding - so he had to take his place in the tank war. So we bought lots of tanks and various other automobiles. And some sort of hen thing.

Anyway, we attempted to be strategic in our set up.




He had the train, I had the boat. And like mega tank. But he had the plane - which actually went off twice and scared the crap out of me.

The goal of the tank war is to light off as many as possible all at once and then hope the others get hit by the fire and light themselves.

Then whoever's tanks are the least damaged wins.

In the end it was a huge char-fest but I'm pretty sure he won.

Though he did cheat when he grabbed a string of firecrackers and laid it over the top of my remaining tanks.

Still speed reading?

The real highlight was the 10 lanterns we lit off in a row.



We had many shapes and colors. This one was highly amusing, don't ask.

We lit so many Dad just got a blowtorch. Which started them much easier.



Mom thought they were illegal cause she couldn't find any, but I think some people don't sell them because they don't like them.

"Snakes and sparklers" sorry, Joe Dirt.

Anyway, after like the 10th one my brother was like, "well we know they're not illegal cause the cops would have been here by now."



The funniest part of the whole thing was watching them try to get them to fly cause you have to run with them so the wind will pick them up and it kept getting darker. The boyfriend fell in the same culvert twice in like 5 minutes.

And it was dark so all I could see was his outline going down and then hear my brother laughing.

My brother's approach was to give it words of encouragement as he ran. "You can do it" "Fly damnit!"

The boyfriend told him to act like he was at his kids' ball games to which my sister-in-law replied, "then it would be, oh my god how did you not catch that?!"

The lanterns were fun. The boys had fun racing to see who could get theirs up the fastest. The triangle ones we said looked kind of like KKK masks which led to us quoting Django for the rest of the night.

"I think we all think the bags were a nice idea."

And that was my night.

More fun will take place Saturday for the brother-in-law's birthday, huzzah! But first tomorrow is work and then homework.

Blah.

So I'm out.

Hope you had a happy fourth.




"So it'd be nice to see!"

Horribly racist but wildly entertaining.

I speak whale.

Okay, fastest post in history of posts.

You'll have to speed read it to get the full effect.

Ready go.

Today was good.

Met up with my practicum rep and it was awesome. For my 90 hour practicum I basically get to build a remote library from scratch. And we're gonna use the BISAC method - which is bookstore, not Dewey for those of you who just went, what? - so I'm gonna look into subject headings we should have and then we're gonna hit up the library's booksale and stock up to start it.

I'm stoked.

Was nervous cause I wasn't sure what to expect but now I feel so much better.

Though I still have to write up the plan and draft schedule to send to the Library Goddess to approve.

Got an impromptu text from Oldest Sister saying she was going out to the farmhouse to light off fireworks so I went too - taking with my three boxes, though I didn't even get through one of them.

Mostly cause I'm saving all the stuff that the boyfriend and I bought together so that we can light it on the 4th, though I wasn't aware of how much I had left over from last year.

We actually had a grill out at dad's cabin by the pond.

Oh yes, remember the cabin that we all had to help build?

I did a whole like 2 nails with the nail gun and freaked out the whole time?

Anyway, so it's finished and has been moved next to the pond on a cement block and soon there will be electricity and air conditioning.

And I'm hoping some outdoor lighting.

Cause I couldn't see anything without lanterns.

Bubby, Squirt and I threw a lot of firecrackers off the dock and into the pond in order to make a splash.

Bubby was successful in spraying us with pond water.

Which was gross.

I was throwing them farther away than that.

And Dad of course brought out his favorite fireworks that he bought in high school and lit one of those on the dock.

And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

Mom is mad cause I got him more.

Sort of, they don't make those anymore, but I got him the runner-up to them.

Woops.

Anyway, it was fun. We ate hamburgers and smores and jammed in the cabin.

Had our tank war.

I won, take that!

Squirt had a mega tank and Bubby laid his out strategically with firecrackers but I think it was my massive frogs in the back row that did it.

Victory.

Are you still speed reading cause I'm speed typing, this is 3 minutes so far.

Didn't really light any big ones off cause like I said, I'm saving them but my brother did light off a few.

Bubby and I continually quoted Finding Nemo.

"You touched the butt!"

"I speak whale."

"You guys made me ink."

Those are literally the only lines I remember so they were the ones we kept repeating.

To the point where Mom was totally confused.

Quote of the day:

Bubby: "I'm not gonna twerk in front of grandma!"

It's a dance, nevermind.

Still speed typing, this is 5 minutes.

Okay, what am I missing?

Ummm.....meeting, dinner, fireworks, crazy family....think that's all I got.

Oh, except where Squirt drove up to the house.

"How do you turn on the lights?"

Thought I was gonna die.


Song of the day:

okay, now I have to think.

aw man, I was doing so well.

Let's go with clips instead.






swim away!

oh, favorite youtube comment ever:

Two whales walk into a bar.
"AAAAOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOAAAAAA, AOUUUUUUAAAA OOOOO," says the first whale.
The second whale replies, "Shut up, Steve, you're drunk."

yay, 10 minutes and I'm done!

"What the heck?" "That's what I was gonna ask." "Is that legal?" "That's what I was gonna ask."

Said by the boyfriend and I after seeing a kid riding his bike down the median.

Not across it to get to the other side of the road.

Legitimately down the median.

Pretty sure that's not legal.

Sorry, just practicing for 4th of July.

"That's not legal" is a family quote, but we say it in a sing-song kind of way.

Well, Oldest Sister says it more than the rest of us.

Mostly cause her husband buys the not-so-legal stuff.

'tis the season.


Okay, I know I didn't post yesterday, but yesterday was horrible from start to finish so if I was to post it would be horrible too.

Our internet was down at work.

I got yelled at.

There were training issues.

I lost my datebook and broke open my foot in the process of retrieving it - thankfully a nice man found it and called me.

And the Mad Maxines lost by like 200 points.

Which is backwards because usually we win by 200.

Technically, we were skating against the number 2 team in the world - not the nation, the world - so it wasn't completely unexpected, but we are - well, were - ranked 25th in the world.

So...it was just awful though cause our jammers kept getting so frustrated because the refs weren't calling anything on the other team and they got called constantly for cutting the track. It got to the point where our jammer was in the penalty box for at least 50% of the entire bout.

And by the end they had just given up.

It was awful.

I actually wasn't planning on going until I walked out of the door from work. Then I got there and a lady gave me a free ticket so that sealed the deal.

I actually don't mind going to the derby by myself because I feel like my obsession out-ranges my friends' love for the sport.

So I cheer and I stand up and all that.

And it's nice not having to worry about if they're having fun.

Which they do, but you know what I mean.

It's like Del going to the Mumford & Sons concert by herself, because no one loves Mumford like Del loves Mumford. And she doesn't want anyone to hold back her love for said Mumford.

But she also knits in bars.

Cause she's a badass.

And I owe her big for She & Him.


Anyway, so yesterday was total crapsuck, but today was much better.

Ate my muffin and drank my coffee.

Was pretty busy, but not overly. Still had time to update my TAB website and send out all my reminder emails. Mock up some JPEG's for Superwoman.

Range of stats = 30s

So not bad for a Sunday.

Working the weekend means I'm off tomorrow!

Huzzah!

I'm meeting with my practicum rep and going over details. 90 hours of that coming up in the fall and no idea what to expect.

Here are some of the precise guidelines that the Library Goddess has for us to follow:

- Make sure you dress in a professional manner and ask about a dress code during the meeting.
- Review the library's website before you go. This will support good questions and discussion during your first meeting.
- Make sure you make your hosts laugh at least 3 times during the meeting!
- Make sure you work hard to be flexible in terms of hours you're available so that you get the most out of your practicum.

Will do my best to make him laugh. And dress professionally. Should probably figure that out tonight while I'm still conscious.

Wear makeup and all that.

Oh yeah, so tonight I went out to see the boyfriend and his word of the night was women.

Not like in a sentence like "women are, you know, whatever it is we are" just women in that tone that only a man can say it in.

You know that one?

And it wasn't my fault!

For the most part.

I mean, it started when we were listening to the radio and the song "Don't Talk About Him, Tina" came on - the Pistol Annies you know?



Yes, I know, I've posted it already, get over it.

Anyway, so it came on and I told him the inspiration for the song which you can read about here: http://www.accesshollywood.com/pistol-annies-dish-on-bra-inspired-song-dont-talk-about-him-tina_article_79106

To which he replied "women."

And then we're out eating and this employee is out in the parking lot sitting there on a bench for 15 minutes straight brushing her hair.

Just sitting there, middle of the parking lot, not talking to anybody, not on her phone, no one is with her, she's just sitting there brushing her hair.

For 15 minutes straight.

To which he replied "women."

Although that may be what average women do, who knows, maybe I've been doing it wrong all of my life.

And then we're buying fireworks - yes, more fireworks cause I needed more tanks and I got another, "women."

But I told him that since Bubby is gonna be gone it's up to him to take his place in the tank war. So we bought him tanks. And a train. And I got a boat. So it's gonna be tank on tank - and there are different types of tanks involved - and then it'll be train vs. boat.

Should have paid for it with some of those singles in my wallet, but I used my card instead.

Cause people look at you funny when you pay for things in singles.

I have all these singles and not for the normal reason a woman my age would be carrying around a wad of singles, but because our 93-year-old volunteer was in the hospital and everyone chipped in for flowers and since I'm the Volunteer Supervisor I got to be the one to buy the flowers and send them to her.

So, basically, the opposite reason of why a women my age would normally be carrying around a wad of singles.

But this woman is seriously Wonder Woman. We sent her flowers and the next day she was back volunteering.

And very grateful for her flowers.

I don't know anything about sending flowers so I had to have like 5 people look over the arrangement before I committed to it.

Women. 

We're perfectionists like that.


And that's all I got for today.

Tomorrow is that meeting and then cleaning and homework.

And trying to get this smoke smell out of my apartment.

Stupid burnt popcorn.

I keep bringing in more fireworks, my neighbors are probably like, ummm....


Alright, song of the day...was already posted, so let me find another one.

Barefoot and Buckwild - Lauren Alaina


heard this song tonight and was jamming.

apparently she was runner-up on American Idol from last year or the year before or something.

i don't know, i don't watch it.

neither does the rest of america either apparently.

fired 2 of the judges because their ratings sucked - but seriously? mariah carey and nicky minaj? what were they thinking in the first place? - and then randy left so all that's left is keith.

now they're flailing and looking for new judges.

Cause THE VOICE rocks.

and they can't compete.

okay, i'll shut up now as i promised my Voice ramblings were over 'til next season.

no i couldn't help but fall in love again.

The half hour lunches suck, but they make two weekdays off worth it.

That was today.

Slept in, watched X-Games, did laundry and dishes.

Though my apartment still smells like smoke.

Attempted to spray stuff, overpower it with other food smells, but it's never ending.

Ideas?

At least the hallways are clear.

Maybe I need to air it out some more.


Went out to see the boyfriend tonight and we went to my TRUE MOTHERSHIP.

aka the Dormmom's fireworks stand.

Got the essentials, but still haven't done inventory on last year's stuff so I have a feeling I'm going to be flailing back closer to the date.

The boyfriend was impressed that I spent like half the amount of money I spent last year. But I do have the Missouri stuff too. Though I didn't get much there, just stuff I couldn't get here.

Thinking about doing fireworks at the farmhouse like last year. Parade in the morning and all that.

Sister and her family won't be there - which sucks - but that's okay. We'll have enough to cover.

Hopefully the boyfriend will be able to make an appearance as he will be working.


After fireworks we watched Broken City.



Marky Mark Wahlberg, Russell Crowe, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Kyle Chandler.

It was...interesting.

Was confused most of the time, but I guess it might be entertaining if you're into political drama.


Alright, off to bed.

More She & Him week.

In the Sun



I Thought I Saw Your Face Today


love these guys.

out.

"But avoid the Super 8 there like the plague...unless you want the plague."

Guess what?

I had fun.

Worlds of it.

Literally.

In case you weren't aware, the boyfriend and I went to Worlds of Fun this weekend.

It was packed, but we got fastlane passes so we were able to jump lines.

Ironically, the line for the fastlane passes was the longest line we stood in all day.

Got there at around 11AM and stayed until about 11:45PM.

Did my 17 roller coaster rides - he did more - for some reason I kept getting nauseous which confused me cause last year when we went I was fine the whole day.

Though last year we went in October so it wasn't 90 degrees.

Plus we actually ate stuff.

This year not so much.

But I did wear sunscreen so my mother will be proud.

It was a lot of fun.

When I wasn't having a panic attack and running all over the park retracing my steps.

Why is it that whenever we go somewhere I lose things?

We went to Vegas I lost my camera.

We went to Boone I lost my ring.

We go to Worlds of Fun and I lose my phone.

Temporarily.

The nice man at the Mamba saved it for me.

Pretty sure my mom got called in the process.

Sorry.

The whole time the boyfriend was the picture of cool.

Same with the previous losses.

It's clear which one of us is the more sane.

Though was that really ever questioned?

Anyway, once it was found we went to the car and I left everything in it but the keys.

I did manage to take some pictures before I ditched it though.

We actually took some time to see shows since we had all day.



These guys were pretty good.



Country Junction.

Took a few videos, may upload them later.

AND the spyglasses worked.

So rock on.

Got some cool coaster and drummer videos from them.

Which I will hold off on posting as they are loud and long and I need to fix them first.

It was well worth the trip.

Afterward we were both zonked so we didn't want to drive all the way back.

Stopped at the Super 8 first cause it was right across the street but they were full.

However, their nightshift employee was highly entertaining.

Directing us to other hotels yet warning us to stay away from a different branch of their franchise.

See title of post.

Gotta love it when they're honest.

Ended up staying at a different Super 8 - not the one with the plague - and then came back this morning.

Stopped at a Waffle House along the way.

Awesome chocolate chip waffles.

And raisin toast.

Which reminds me that I need to eat something else today.

Anyway, right before we left Missouri we saw this mega fireworks stand.

And it was kind of like the mother ship was calling me home.



If I were to own a fireworks stand - which I dream about - this would be how I would do it.

Giant warehouse in their backyard.

Posters and figures all over the walls.



(love that paris is in jail with spock as the guard)

Awesome music playing in the background - I'm talking a mix of the best from all the decades.

Plus some awesome discounts - if you spend a certain amount of money you get so much stuff free, however it applies to your next visit.

The staff being as awesome as it was said to go to my car, unload my fireworks and then come back.

Cause that would count as a separate visit.

Did I mention how much I love awesome employees?

Needless to say I spent far too much on fireworks, though it was only certain stuff cause the rest I get from my Dorm Mom.

Who gives me free stuff cause she loves me.

Speaking of, gonna call her this weekend.

I love it, she knows my number so she answers the phone with "yes, we're open!"

Ah, how well she knows me.

Alright, it is getting late and I need to work more on the paper that's due tomorrow at midnight.

Which I have started but just barely.

I did read through all my sources and I have an outline planned.

Now it's just the whole typing thing and the sources thing and the you know, coming up with actual words to say thing.

So, the usual.

Will be glad to be done in December!

Okay, music.

Treasure - Bruno Mars


i'm still debating if i like this song or not. heard it first on the voice - this performance, love the retro jackson 5 approach - and then we heard it on the way back so i'm posting it.

Don't Phunk With My Heart - Black Eyed Peas


another Song You Know But Forgot You Knew It - heard this one on the ride back as well. coincidence that it is also 70's style.

like them better as the Black Eyed Peas than I do separately as will.I.Am and Fergie.

Alright, back to the homework.

Legitimate pre-midnight post, holy crap tag in use.

"I'm explaining our body/trunk situation." "Awesome!"

Oh, the smell of gunpowder in the morning. There will be even more of it tomorrow.

This is probably my favorite holiday. Well, this and Christmas. Maybe some Thanksgiving, nah, mostly 4th of July and Christmas.

Today was actually fantastic. Went to the right branch this morning, woohoo! Lunch with Slim Shady, conversation with Library Goddess about NLA conference coming up in October apparently I'm going both days, then a really interesting discussion in the backroom with BossLady and The Intern.

The last time it was just the three of us in the back room was with the bird so you knew it'd be an interesting hour, both times ended with us laughing hysterically. Basically it all started with talk about 4th of July plans and I told them about me driving one of my dad's cars in the parade tomorrow and my fear that he's gonna stick me with one of his slutty manikins.

Have I told you about the slutty manikins? I don't remember. Okay, so my dad is a collector and he has all these model trains and old cars and he likes to put these manikin women in them, I have no idea why, he just does.

Anyway, so the last time I came home Mom was like, you have to see the outfits he bought for his manikins. Dad brought one inside and my jaw just dropped. "Why do you have slutty manikins?!" "They're not slutty, that's how the girls dress on Hee-Haw."

Right.

With the button down shirts tied in front.



That's not slutty at all.

Everyone woman dresses like that on a regular basis.

So I had this fear that he was gonna stick me in a car with one and I told that to BossLady and I was like, "if that happens I'll wait 'til he leaves then I'll stick in the trunk, do the parade, then take a detour, take it out of the trunk, drive back to the start point and act like nothing happened."

I look over and she's laughing hysterically, and she hits me with, "I would call the cops and say 'I think I saw Carrie shoving a body in the trunk.'"

Yeah, there would be like a blockade at the end of the parade...

So then we changed it to putting one in dad's trunk, then calling the cops and saying something to the effect of, "I saw him shove a body in the trunk and I haven't seen my mom all afternoon..." He'd get through the parade and they'd pull him over be like, "Sir, we're gonna need you to step out of the car..."

Would be the best prank ever.

Though he probably would not think so at the time.

But thoughts for the future.

It is a serious small town parade though. Floats and tractors and all that. Is Nebraska the only state that includes tractors in a parade? Total rednecks. I'm guessing they don't exactly make an appearance in any parades in New York.

But that's just a guess.

After work I packed up my fireworks, bought far too many, but now I have my tanks for the epic tank war between myself and Bubby, more on that tomorrow, and headed out to the boyfriend's house. We went out and bought even more fireworks then went back to watch the town's firework show. Jammed with his parents for a while, they're pretty cool. Sane. Which I appreciate immensely.

Though she did mention something about worrying she'll never have grandchildren. We'll see about that.

Big day tomorrow so I should probably konk out. Finally talked the boyfriend into coming out and driving in the parade. He's gonna save me from the slutty manikin. I sense a story.

And not a good one.

But that's true for most of mine as of late.

Alright, soon to be out, here's a couple of songs that were stuck in my head all day for no reason.

"A Little Bit Stronger" Leighton Meester

originally by Sara Evans, covered by Leighton Meester for Country Strong and Jordis Unga on The Voice.

love it. don't get me started on Jordis, we'd be here for a while.

If you want to read them find a "voice" or "jordis unga" tag.

"Mario Live"

it was the theme song that was a stuck in my head, but oh my god so cool! dude performs the entire first level of Super Mario Bros. Live. love that flag at the end.

OUT!

ps -  i enjoy immensely that now i get to have a tag for "slutty manikins". awesome. will attempt to use it again in the future.

Fireworks, Ted, Summer Songs and a Binary Solo

I'm free!!

Until August!!

From school that is, now it's Camp J in high gear. Meeting this weekend with an impromptu golfing session after, but that's really more for our sanity and practice for the big tournament in August.

It was a good day at least. Left early this morning cause I took the Library Goddess with me. I didn't get pulled over and I only ran over one curb with her in the car so I'm calling it a victory.

Class was good, talked about literacy strategies and then presented our digital book projects. I'm just glad it's done, included everything from the syllabus but we shall see.

After that it was the pizza party. Basically a get together meal for all the library students. I met a lot of people, and it's amusing because I get introduced as the Cool Aunt's niece and they all know her so it's like an immediate, "oh yeah!" kind of thing. Highly entertaining.

Added something to the Cool Aunt's haiku, then took off and headed out to see the boyfriend and buy some fireworks.

Hit up my dorm mom's stand, called her enroute of course and she answers, "yes we're open where are you?" The woman knows me all too well. And she gives me free stuff...cause I buy stuff....lots of stuff.

To be fair I did warn him in advance that he was about to see his girlfriend spend an obscene amount of money on something that will literally blow up in her face.

But he'll probably be lighting off half of it anyway.

All I have left to buy is tanks. And I can get those from the Strang stand the day before. They have one in the Dollar General parking lot that I always hit up to support their baseball team. I used to play softball there so gotta show some support. In Strang, not the Dollar General parking lot. Just to clear that up.

After fireworks we went out to eat with his fantastic sister and her amusing boyfriend. They're pretty great so it was cool hanging out with them. And then we hit up Ted. Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, talking stuffed teddy bear, etc.

It was....interesting. I mean, not awful. Heart-warming at times. Highly inappropriate at others.

Scale of Awesome would rate it somewhere around 4/10. It wasn't bad, I laughed, I just don't plan on watching it again.

Very Family Guy-esque. Since it was the same dude it kind of makes sense.

If you don't know the premise, it's basically this kid has no friends so he makes a wish that his teddy bear could come to life and they could be best friends forever. And it works, and then the story jumps to like 25 years later when he's 35 and has a girlfriend who's sick of the bear and all that.

Here:



like i said, interesting.

And, as is tradition. Out for the summer means a new Summer Song.

Cause I'm a nerd and declare the first song that plays after I'm officially out for the summer to be my summer song and I can't skip it for the entire summer. Which works out for some, and not so well for others.

2008: Kat Deluna's "Whine Up"

this was one of them that got old fast.

2009: "Tomorrow Still Comes" Will Dailey

he's a bit quirky, just go with it.

2010: "Remember Last Time" by Avi Buffalo

yes they're kids and his voice is much different recorded, this is live.

2011: "Tonight, Tonight" Hot Chelle Rae

technically it was the radio version, but i found this one and as i've posted the other multiple times, i'm posting this one now. shockingly not sick of this one yet.

which leads me to 2012 and...drumroll....or not. 

Big surprise here, though it wasn't planned I hit shuffle as usual.

2012: "Want U Back" the US version of course

get tired of the kid rapper on the uk one.

the grunts really do make the song though, found this one and it's just not the same.

she is fantastic live.
and like 18.

and getting married.



and here's a little something extra just because i can.

Flight of the Conchords "Robo Boogie"

love the binary solo.

OUT!

you can call me your fool, only wanna be with you...

Why are all the sculptures of the Greek gods naked?

Seriously?

I'm trying to make a powerpoint with images of the gods and I can't exactly include those since a parent might complain, but those are the best examples because they're holding the symbol that represents them like a trident or lightning and they're not animated. Though animation might not be bad since it's for kids.

So yeah, Greek mythology. I'll post the link when I'm done if you're into that stuff. I'm kind of a nerd for it. Well, that and ancient Egypt...and Drew Barrymore, Women's Murder Club, Chuck, Leverage, Castle, the list goes on.

Today was not the best of days but it wasn't completely awful so I'm calling it a victory. It was the morning that mostly was bad but I was stressed and then something else just freaked me out and pushed me over the edge, needless to say I spent my lunch hour lying on the couch trying to make it all go away. Didn't work.

And that just makes it sound bad, which is was, but not because of work at the moment really. It was sea of estrogen at the home branch today total awesomeness - got called over there since a coworker is sick - and it was fun, like 5 of us total plus the aides and 2 supervisors for a staff meeting. Superwoman brought us pizza. I used to love that cause I got pizza, but now I'm full-time elsewhere and we get nothing. Mentor and I pretended to be bitter. Maybe Superwoman can pacify us with some donuts or juice as our meetings are in the morning instead of the afternoon.

Cleaned up a little in the backroom, shifted some stuff around, it's becoming quite the black hole for stuff, but it is summer reading so you can't keep it anywhere else.

Any big plans for the 4th? Mine are still a work in progress but mostly buy too many fireworks and head to the farm to light them off with the family. Always a lot of fun, we buy far too many, it's ridiculous. What's even more ridiculous is that I have yet to buy any at all. And I get a text from Mom going na-na na-na-na cause she bought some. Gonna have to call up my dorm mom to make sure they're open and head out there this weekend. It's amusing cause it's tradition that I call and she answers something to the effect of "yep, we're open!" Don't even have to ask, she just knows. For like the past 5-6 years.

Does anyone else feel like they're losing circulation in their arms at night and need to immediately go to sleep because it's starting to hurt and if you're asleep you won't feel it? And then wake up and it's fine? Is that normal?

Part of my arm is swollen, no idea why though I wouldn't be surprised if it was from Carter biting me. I'm so covered with them I can't tell whether he bit there or not. Awkward angle, I'll check it in the mirror momentarily.

If I regain circulation in my arms.

Made a lot of progress on the digital book project for Children's Lit. This is the only major one left aside from posting the ones I read online and writing reviews about audience, appeal, and awards. Then I'll be done! Until August! Woohoo!

I want a popsicle so I'll go get one. Just because I am. Maybe it'll bring back the circulation. Is that normal? Am I gonna like lose my arms or die or something? Question of the day.


Song You Knew But Forget You Know It

"Only Wanna Be With You" Hootie and the Blowfish

I know it's only been like 7 years but this one just feels like a classic. You know?

love the random dance moves


Out!

I love the smell of gunpowder in the evening.

Huzzah for too many fireworks.

Okay, so not a full post tonight, just a quick update to let you know that I made it through both the wedding and the 4th. And I'll post tomorrow all about the shenanigans involved in both. Lots of fun.

And, just so you know, I would totally wear those cowboy boots to work tomorrow if it wasn't going to be such a long day. I'm proud of those calluses.

So yeah, this week it'll be wedding/4th/warped central. And I'll even post some pics because some of you *cough*uncletheartist*cough* don't have Facebook and won't see them there.

Hope you all had a happy and safe 4th!

banjos duel as grandma has an unfortunate encounter with a reindeer.

I love my job. Just gonna put that out there. Today the Queen of Awesome brought me super hero crazy bands so I went around today with Iron Man, Captain America and Spiderman.
And it was super funny this morning because it was our Post-4th-of-July party and my Glee-Loving Boss made a bracelet out of pipe-cleaner and beads, hands it to me and says, "Here, you can't say I never gave you jewelry."

Another thing I love about my job - interlibrary loan. Currently I'm watching Best of Match Game. The pilot isn't as funny but it has Brett Somers' husband on it. He agreed to do it if they let Brett join the show as well. Every answer he has he makes fun of his wife. Funny stuff.

Okay, so if you haven't seen the pictures on Facebook that I was tagged in - I haven't posted mine yet - for the love of God do it now. That way we can get over it and move on faster. Yes, I wore a dress. No, that's not happening again anytime soon. I will, however, wear the cowboy boots to work. I'm thinking Thursday since it's my shorter day.

The wedding was awesome. Outdoor on a ranch, seriously pretty. There was a slight rain delay but it was a baseball wedding so they're used to those. Well, not like a baseball themed wedding but the groom is a baseball coach and their family is linked to the SF Giants. The bride was super calm the whole time, no bridezilla moments even when he sat around in the basement for like 4 hours.

After I got back it was fireworks central. And me and my niece and nephew are pretty goofy so Oldest Sister took a lot of pictures of us posing. There's a super awesome one of me and M holding confetti guns and looking like we're gonna peek around the corner of it and attack. Definitely one to post on here. It's my profile pic on Facebook. Plus Charlie's Angels with J. "It's Bubby's Angels. Who the heck is Charlie?" This is second general CA, I went as Dylan with my two friends as the other angels. We had shirts made and everything. Love it.
Other fun quotes:
-"Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water." I had this neverending fountain in the road and a car pulled up and sat there for like five minutes then when it looked like the fountain was done he passed it and right at that moment it started shooting a bunch of stuff again right as he was passing it. Awesomeness.
-"Not as comfortable with strobes up your butt?" I sat down to watch the finale and the chair was super uncomfortable.... yeah forgot to take the bag of strobe lights out of my back pocket. After that it was much better.
-"I feel bad drinking out of this. But Jesus drank wine! So its okay." Sister-In-Law and I got koozies at the parade and they had religious stuff on them. We used them to hold our alcohol.

How does one "Watch their language". Just curious.

Songs from the weekend

"Dueling Banjos." Deliverance

A dedication for Beej who spent an hour trying to think of the title of this movie. We knew it was one word so we kept guessing titles that sounded western.
That kid is awesome.

"Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" - Dr. Elmo

was stuck in my head all day today. I have no idea why or where it came from. No grandma or reindeer books at all.
I swear it sounds like he's saying Grandpa got run over and not Grandma but I'm going with it.
I love 0:58. Pause. Turn. Sing. SEND THEM BACK!

Alright, all for tonight. Today was 9-12, 1-5 and 6-8 so I'm gonna was MG and crash.

Drapes, Fireworks, Hairless Cats, Flex Seal, CWS, Music Overload

Dear Blogspot,
Today I was a Ninja of Awesome. I was a kickass shelver this morning - shelved for four hours straight while avoiding the mass of children that had congregated in the middle of the library to watch a musician. He was pretty good actually but now I have that "green grass grows all around" song stuck in my head. Ugh.

Just wanted to let you know that my Mom is pretty much awesome. Today, we bought drapes. Yes, after living here for over a year I'm officially sick of waking up to the sun at 5AM. So she bought me drapes. Plus the curtain rods. Now we just gotta get the maintenance dudes to install them. They are also pretty cool guys. Then, I went fireworks shopping while she got my oil changed - also her idea. And then, I hit up the McDonalds drive-thru right behind her and I went to pay for my pop and the chick gave me the weirdest look ever and said, "Um...the lady in front of you paid for yours. So, you're good to go." and I was "That's my mom." and the look on her face became like one of those epiphany looks "Ohhh! Okay!" So I called Mom and she said when she said that to her the chick probably thought it was some pay it forward kind of thing. But seriously, the look on her face was hysterical. So yeah, my Mom is awesome.

And, speaking of mothers, got to see my dorm mom today! She loves me. Bought some fireworks and stayed under 100. Which is impressive for me. I know that that may seem high to you but I go all out. When I see the fireworks tents go up I'm like ecstatic. It's like when they start selling candy canes. I'm addicted to those things and stock up. I still have 2 boxes in my cabinet. But yeah, fireworks! Totally stoked! Before we used to do this big block party thing at Oldest Sister's place but then they moved so since then we haven't really found a permanent replacement. This year we're going to Second Sister's house. I think we did that last year as well. Maybe that'll be our new place. Dad is making steaks. Or so I've heard. I told Oldest Sister that she has to make frog-eye salad - anyone else know what that is? it's fantastic - because she owes me. Even though she doesn't really. Or she could just teach me how to make it. I don't think I could burn that. But you never know, I did burn grilled cheese. Go here: My Life in Closed Captions: Sketch and Edit Make Grilled Cheese

Another highlight, I pulled into my parking lot earlier today and saw this plastic looking cat in a windowsill sitting like stock still. And I was like, "I hope that's fake, cause if not that's a really unfortunate-looking cat." And then....it moved. So someone in my building has a really unfortunate-looking cat. One of those hairless cats, you know? And I love cats, I am a cat person. Even though mine bites me. But hairless cats just freak me out. Plus it kinda reminds me of that episode of Friends where Rachel gets a hairless cat because her grandma had one and it's like vicious so they give it to Gunther.

Dude! I want Flex Seal! It's rubber in a can! You could like make anything waterproof. And the second can's free!

Sorry, more ESPN commercials. Maybe tonight I'll dream about building a raft with spray-can rubber. That Alec Balwin thinking I'm Jesus dream was just plain weird.

I'm sad that the CWS - that's College World Series, not Carpooling With Santa *cough*SecondSister*cough* might be over tonight. Even though I want SC to win it. It would be super cool for them to win the last game in Rosenblatt and the first game in Pseudo-Rosenblatt. Yes, Pseudo Rosenblatt. Because TD Ameritrade is just too long.


So, it was a good day, which is funny because the next few days for the past couple of years have kind of sucked. Long story. But we need some good jam out music for a good day.

"I've Had the Time of My Life" Glee Cast Version

Wow, Sam with short hair. Retro.

"Forget You" Glee Cast Version

Is it weird that my favorite Glee cast member is a guest star? Holly Holiday is my hero. Seriously. Constant Ninja of Awesome.
and yes, I know I've posted this more than I've posted any other song. Want me to post the other 2 I post more than any of the others too?

Why not.
They're good dancing tunes. Well, the first one is. The second will be more of a cool down I should go to bed thing.

"You Drive Me Crazy" Shakin' Stevens

He's Welsh. And it was the 80's. Deal with it. I love it!

"Reflecting Light" Sam Phillips

Cool down time. It's in my top 10. Pretty sure these last three are all in my top 10.

Gonna finish the game then crash.

OUT!

And all you're ever gonna be is mean.

You know what's worse than Wendy's new natural cut fries? Cold Wendy's new natural cut fries. What's with this healthy crap? Fries aren't supposed to be healthy. We know that going in. Fry is in the freaking title. What's healthy that's fried? They make deep fried beer now. Not sure how that works but sounds intriguing.
Oh well, they still got the frosties and the chili so I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Actually that's what Grams and I lived on for a summer when I was staying with her. Cause I can't cook and she wasn't allowed to. It was an interesting summer. Luckily the cool aunt was always around when needed. Plus the bookstore aunt brought us this awesome microwaveable bacon so we could make bacon and tomato sandwiches. Not BLT's. Cause that would imply that there was lettuce. Is that just a my family thing? That it's just a bacon and tomato sandwich? Probably.

OMG! So I've been having the weidest dreams lately. In one of them Alec Baldwin thought I was Jesus. And at some point I was wearing a crown of thorns. The only logical explanation for that is that I watched the "Judas" video by Lady Gaga right before I went to bed and I've watched nothing but ESPN all week and that freaking Alec Baldwin credit card commercial runs every five minutes.

Today's Highlights:
-Got a package in the mail from an old friend! Huzzah! Warper Tour pics from back in '05. Gonna have to share a few with you later when I get them uploaded. Totally stoked!
-I talk to my dorm mom twice a year. Once when I call her to see when her fireworks stand opens and second when I see her at the fireworks stand. So, today when I called, the first thing she says is "Tomorrow!" Definitely headed out there between shifts tomorrow! 4th of July and Xmas are my favorite holidays. And I splurge a bit for both. Totally stoked! I got some already today on sale and I'm gonna go through inventory tonight to figure out what I gotta stock up on tomorrow.
-Oh the joys of camp. What started out as camp files and updating ended in cleaning the church basement since it flooded. My brother, the saint, came on the run to help. But we did get done what we needed to do and we'll meet up again in two weeks when I've gotten all the application forms. And now we have fun codenames. Which will be revealed later on.


Aaannd on with the show as promised. Four more and then I'm done.


Book #9 - "Dirty Little Secrets" by CJ Omololu
Everyone has secrets, but Lucy has a big one. One that, if someone even entered her house, would blow up in her face. Her mother's a hoarder and has been for some time. So what happens when something tragic occurs? Does Lucy face facts and go get help or does she try to take care of it herself?
Scale of Awesome says 7/10. I literally had to shower after this book. And that's as much of a summary I can give you without giving anything away since the event took place like only 10 pages in. But seriously, I mean I know that my parents and myself and my family hold on to stuff. But if it ever gets that bad, please say something. Seriously.


Book #10 - "The Unsinkable Walker Bean" by Aaron Renier
Walker Bean loves his grandpa who just happens to be dying. He's dying because he has this haunted skull that's supposed to be in a cave with witches. If it's returned to their cave he will be saved so Walker takes the skull and tries to return it to the cave. On the way there he makes friends with pirates, avoids his father who wants the skull for himself and tries to keep the skull a secret.
Scale of Awesome says 3/10. I'm sure it would be entertaining for a young adult boy since it's a graphic novel and the coloring is awesome but the storyline is just confusing. And it cuts off so there's supposed to be a sequel. I'm still lost.


Book #11 - "Wicked Girls" by Stephanie Hemphill
This story follows the Salem Witch Trials and the group of girls who's lies started them. Each page is basically a different journal entry by one of the girls - they kind of alternate - and it's completely in verse.
Scale of Awesome says 7/10. It's actually pretty clever and since I'm kind of obsessed with the whole Salem thing it was hard to put down.


Book #12 - "Out Of My Mind" by Sharon Draper
Melody is handicapped and spends her life in a wheelchair. And she's brilliant but she can't communicate so people underestimate her. Finally she gets this computer than can talk for her but are people going to like what she has to say?Scale of Awesome says 5/10. I was totally into this book until the ending. Complete buzzkill and killed my SOA rating for it. And I'm sure that's exactly why she ended it that way, because it makes you think. But it was totally mean cause it was the last book I read the whole semester. And I started with Revolution which was this mind-blowing book. Like I said, total buzzkill.

Songs for tonight:
"Mean" Taylor Swift

diggin' it. love the dudley do-right aspect.


"The Cha-Cha Slide" DJ Casper

big fan of this one throughout high school and college
love the video cause you've got all generations covered. i'm gonna make sketch dance with me like that when we're in the nursing home. i mean, when we're not racing scooters. cause that comes first. scooter jousting. we've got big plans. watch out world.

Tomorrow's split shift plus FIREWORK SHOPPING! and just got a phone call from Oldest Sister who's using me and making me go to the Saltdogs game on Wednesday - long story - you know, you're lucky I don't have a life outside of work. I could have plans..... right.