Freakin' Birds.

What a weirdass day.

No, seriously, what a weirdass day.

Where do I begin?

Woke up with still no air-conditioning so I got to call that in. Luckily our maintenance people are fantastic and it was fixed by the time I got home, needed a new fan or something.

Go to work, first thing was the staff meeting. Got to explain the prizes for the teen's summer reading program. They get a free betta fish. How cool is that? And ice cream and Saltdogs tickets and Amigos coupon, etc.

So that was fine.

Everything at work was fine up until like 10. Which is when the staff meeting ended and we opened.

After that I was toast.

Dropped an entire stack of DVDs, discs flying everywhere. That was smooth.

I screwed up telling patrons due dates twice. And I only helped two patrons at the desk that hour.

Though I did get it right immediately after I screwed it over.

But still, obnoxious. I just figured it was cause I was caffeine-less. So I went for a Mountain Dew assuming all will be healed.

...
...
...

All was not healed.

Okay.

So here's the kicker.

Off-desk hour, usually I spend stocking supplies. Which was my intended goal, so I walk into the backroom and it was just like any other time I walk in the backroom you know daily - actually like 8 times daily - except this time I look over and there's a bird sitting on one of the bookdrop carts.

Me, thinking this is a prank because there's a fake bird somewhere in the building and I know that cause it scared the crap out of me the first time, decide to go check it out.


And I'm walking and I get closer and then... it moved.

I freaked.

Ran to the safety of Queen of the Known Universe and Info-Man at the front desk.

They proceeded to make fun of me.

And told me to call animal control/Superwoman as she was the supervisor on duty that hour.



But she was at lunch, and it was just a bird, so I went with the guard instead.

This guard is a big tall guy, fought in wars, knows lots about weapons and all that so I figured I was safe.

We go to the backroom and devise a plan. Clear a path to the outside door - which was propped open cause the delivery man was there - and scare him towards it.

Sounds like a fine plan, right?

Problem is that birds are uncooperative.

The guard walked towards it making loud noises and waving his arms and the freakin' thing flies STRAIGHT AT ME! Who was standing NOWHERE NEAR THE DOOR WE WERE ATTEMPTING TO LEAD IT TO.

So I'm like crouched in a corner screaming bloody murder, the guard starts chasing the bird around the backroom, it flies all over the place except the direction we want it, and leaving messes wherever it goes - disgusting and I'll get there I promise - finally it flies into the back hallway. Which is good cause that's halfway to the door.

Then it decides to hide in a corner.

At that point I stayed the heck away from the back hallway. Now I just hear the guard yelling, bird wings flapping, and the delivery guy laughing his ass off. I round the corner, still freaking out, and see the door slam with the bird on the other side of it.

Goal.

But oh my god.

Seriously.

So, I go out to the desk still a bit freaked, actually I was basically freaked for the rest of the day but for various other reasons, and Info-Man hits me with "now we know what you're afraid of" implying there will be pranks.

Which I'm prepared for, I had a prank war going with Glee-Loving Boss until I moved to the work branch full time.

But the thing is I'm not scared of birds.

I'm just not a fan of them flying in my direction.

Which I explained to BossLady when she returned from lunch - not Superwoman, BossLady aka my immediate supervisor. I give her a tour of the backroom and all the places the bird went and she resolved to cleaning it up....after she chased me with it. Long story.

I refused to touch it cause I was still in that freak-out mindstate so I followed her around the room and handed her sanitizing wipes. Meanwhile the intern was laughing.

There was a lot of laughing about the incident.

I can now.

I told Mentor "it scared the crap out of me."
and she came back with "it scared the crap out of him too."

Anyway, the rest of the day like every time I opened a door or my locker I paused expecting stuff to fly out at me.

And sadly, that's not the end to the weirdness of today.

So I was in charge of the teen summer reading program today aka "Monster 'Dos" where the College of Hair Design people came and gave a bunch of kids colored hair and scary hairdos that they'll go home, scare their parents with and the parents will probably come back next time and be like, what the heck were you thinking?

Anyway, so I introduced a couple of my TAB kids who talked about TAB and joining and all the stuff we do.

I've seriously had 5 new members within the past two weeks.

And of course we don't meet again until September so there's gonna be a lot of reminder emails and phone calls after the summer.

The event went off without a hitch, and as there was time at the end the kids talked me into getting my hair colored.

Now I have orange lightning bolts with green stars.

They rock and I'm keeping them for the game tomorrow. Gonna rock it out at the stadium.

And since I had to do it we talked Mentor and another one of my youth services supervisors who I joke around a lot with - she's the one I always show my torn up leg to after I play softball cause she screams and tells me to wear pants - into doing it. She got pink hair and Mentor got a green star.

A lot of the little kids got some pretty crazy big hair but I'm not so big on that. Sticking with the lightning bolts and stars for now.

Which reminds me I gotta get my hair dyed before camp. They won't recognize me without it.

And my sideway hat.

Okay, so after work there's rain and hail and major wind, lots of lightning and thunder, actually still doing it. Hope I get this posted before the power goes out or something.

But I managed to get all my homework done and posted and I'm good until class on Saturday.

Will sleep well tonight with my air-conditioner fixed, though I'm guessing I'll have nightmares about birds or something.

Feel like my aunt.

One of the "favorite aunties" is deathly afraid of birds.

Probably partially my father's fault. He used to talk the other "favorite auntie" into chasing her with chickens when they were little.

Speaking of fun aunties, get to jam tomorrow with the Cool Aunt and my two cousins as we're going to the OPENING GAME for the COLLEGE WORLD SERIES! Woohoo!

It'll probably rain, it always does. First year we went and there was a 2 hour rain delay, but last year it only rained a little in the morning and then it was great all day.

Game starts at 4 but we like to go early, hit all the booths, walk around and take pictures. Oh yeah, gotta charge my camera.

So I'm working for two hours tomorrow then taking off to change, grab the camera, and meet up with them.

Stoked.

I need some new shirts.

Oh, irony of the day?

Was wearing a Batman shirt today.

Was tragically scared of winged creatures and totally not a superhero.

Will do better tomorrow.

I know, this post was super long compared to most recent ones. And, if you didn't read the above madness I'll sum it up for you now:

Bird in the Backroom
Not cool - Bird flies at you.
Cool - Guard comes to rescue.
Not cool - Bird poop all over.
Cool - Supervisor cleans up poop so I don't have to.
Not cool - Supervisor proceeds to chase me with said poop.
Cool - Anecdote to tell at work.
Not cool - Coworkers threaten bird pranks.

And then some stuff about lightning bolts and stars and storms and the college world series opener tomorrow.

There you go.

Video of the Day:


"The Birds" in 1 minute and 40 seconds

words cannot express how much i love that this is paired with kill bill music.


Freakin' birds.

I could wash my car in the rain, change my new guitar strings...

In light of yesterday's shocking I-don't-hate-onions discovery I switched up my lunch today. Ordered a Turkey and Swiss with Cheetos as opposed to my usual Chicken Salad with Cheetos. And, gonna say...totally through off my entire lunch period. Not cool.

Yes, I order the same thing every day, but at least I vary the ice cream flavor. I set goals, thinking if I shelve all the carts in the morning I deserve ice cream or if I finish a list, answer a difficult question that I wouldn't have been able to when I first started, get thanked by a patron....really any excuse that seems worthy enough to deserve ice cream. Then I get it with my lunch. Today I finished the Young Adult Weed List so I got Cookie Dough and it was awesome. So awesome that I almost forgot how much the sandwich sucked.

Not like it sucked cause it was bad. It was good. I'm just apparently not a Turkey and Swiss kind of person. I'm gonna stick with my Chicken Salad for now. It's dependable and tasty. If I don't think about what's in it. I hate mayo. And miracle whip. So that just doesn't exist in this sandwich. Don't tell me otherwise or I will hate you for eternity. This sandwich is serious business man.

Except Obi-Wan made me order something else when we went out to eat during post-camp stuff even though Chicken Salad was on the menu. So I had some sort of something that had melted cheese on it and yeah, again, not the same. I'm not a fan of melted cheese. Pretty sure I gave you the "I like cheese but I don't like cheese" speech already. If you missed it go here: My Life in Closed Captions: New Shoes, the Cheese Speech, Warped Tour and MXPX...

We went out to eat at basically the only place to eat in G-Town. Well that and the Dairy Delite which is closed for the season. There's also a barbeque joint but I don't know the hours. But this is the place that my mother basically lived off of when dad was in the hospital and we lived amongst the white walls and sterile equipment. Where else are you gonna go when you can't go home? So, of course they have their usual orders as well. Second Sister included with her to-go cup.

It's not that I'm not a variety kind of person. I like...you know...sometimes theres... Okay so I'm not a variety kind of person. Except for when it comes to media. Movies, Music, TV - I'm into it all. There. Saved my sanity. I'm all about the variety. Ha. Just not when it involves food. Which sounds weird cause I'll try almost anything. Almost. I just like my usuals when I can get them.

Anyway, so I'm done with my first assignment. Queen of the Known Universe was very helpful in this matter with tips and all that. I love my coworkers. QofA brought me farm animal crazy bands this morning - I'm wearing a yellow duck one, it's awesome. But Mission Statement is written, revised, and submitted. Due tomorrow night. Done tonight. Now I gotta read some of the text and get ready for next week's assignment.

Despite the sandwich mishap it was a good day. Mom brought me cookies - na, na, na, na-na...we do a lot of na-na'ing in our family - gave some to smart people and got a point, huzzah! I'm at 136. Gaining on Space Cadet slowly but surely.

Also, got to jam with the security guard for a while. Seemed everyone was losing all sorts of things today, cellphone covers, backpacks, lanyards, stomach contents...

Oh yeah. Real deal. It was disgusting. I was at the front desk and all the sudden we heard this like heaving. Like serious serious heaving coming from the restrooms. I look up at the guard who's looking at me with her eyebrows raised. Then I hear "Hey, you work here. Go check it out," come from one of our usuals who sits in the same chair every day reading a book. I smile, look at the guard and and make a head nod in the direction of the bathroom. I was her backup. It was awesome. And gross at the same time. But the bathroom dude had it covered. He was sober - which is unusual for someone who's heaving in our bathrooms - but the heat was apparently in the 100s so it took him out. Way way out.

Aaannnd on that note, I'm gonna hit you with some music before I go way way out to the world of sleep. I'm exhausted. Maybe it's all the variety.


Sometimes when I have no idea what to recommend for music I put my ipod on shuffle saying, "Okay, whatever song plays is going on there." And then I hit it and the song sucks. Or the intro is too boring. Or the rare occasion where I've already posted it - did I mention variety? - And I end up hitting skip like 8 times before a decent song arises. This was one of those songs.

"Better Things to Do" Terri Clark

like dance in canyons and drive in circles around you...
did you ever have an ex that whenever they took the time to actually contact you you knew that they were at that time fighting with their current girlfriend? and you didn't even have to check facebook to see if that was actually the case? this is my theme song when it comes to those moments.

"I Gotta Go" Robert Earl Keen

if you hurry you can grab it for free off itunes. love it.


i'm sorry that this has turned into some sort of country week. first it was Patty Loveless and Mary Chapin Carpenter. then The Judds. then the Dixie Chicks. now this. to be fair i did throw in some Cake. it's all about the ipod man. blame the shuffle.


here. watch this. it fixes everything.
"Mahna Mahna" Cake


go for it uncle steve. you know you want to. it's just that awesome. star wars plus cake plus the muppets. and it matches up with the beat. diggin' it.


OUT!

Circles, Squares and Ugly Women, Oh My!

I was told today that I'm "social". Yuck! That's just mean. And they wouldn't take it back! But it got me thinking, in that building I'm a totally different person. It's funny, Superwoman told me once that being in public service is a lot like being an actress. And it's so true. I get it now. Me, outside the library, totally different than the "actress" on the inside. Not that I'm a bad person. I'm just...antisocial. I prefer being by myself at my apartment not talking to people. I mean, I like my friends and I like hanging out with my friends and my family they're fun. But being told that I'm suddenly this extraverted social person is like a slap in the face. Like a big wake up call. I don't know how else to describe it and I know that sounds ridiculous, but it just proves how much I've changed. In college I had like 3 main friends. And they were pretty much the only people I talked to until senior year. Everyone else was a friend from high school. Then again I hated college so maybe that was a part of it.
And now I'm just rambling in a big circle that really has no point. Cause that's what a circle is. A never ending round thing with absolutely no point. So I should jump out of the circle and into a square. Cause that has like, four points. Yeah, didn't see that coming did you? Neither did I, moving on.

None of this post is going to make any sense whatsoever, just so you know. You should probably just skip down to the bottom right now.

SQUARE!

So, a supervisor at work, who I didn't know before we switched to the new system but now I think is awesome - the supervisor, not the system but I'll get there - anyway, I follow her around with applause literally because she's saved me on multiple occasions. But yeah, she told me today I "done good." I was like super excited. Cause I'm a nerd. And social apparently, but mostly a nerd. She said she knows she can count on me to test stuff with the new system. And this week I've decided that I'm going to stop complaining about the new system. Because, guess what, we're not going back to the old one. So either you can whine and complain because of the change or you can just go with it. I've decided to just go with it and find out any shortcuts I can and pass them on. Which is why the supervisor likes me. Cause I don't complain about the system. Or I've stopped complaining about the system, let's go with that. More rambling, freaking circle.

SQUARE!

Our security guard asked me for gum and while I went to get it I said to cover for me. So she came around and sat at the desk - decked out in her security uniform - and pretended to work. I snapped a picture and sent it to Superwoman. Her response was Quote "Damn the place is going to the cops." End Quote. I died.

SQUARE!

Maintenance people came over to put curtains up today but could only do the ones in the bedroom cause the brackets weren't long enough to cover the blinds in the living room. Then, I went over to Oldest Sister's place and we got new brackets and then pizza and beer and all that stuff then they came back here and we watched Match Game while oldest brother-in-law attempted to put up the curtains with the new brackets...which were now too small. So first too short, and now too small...and now I just have a bunch of brackets that don't work. So hopefully oldest-brother-in-law will be able to return the ones we got tonight. Cause yeah, brackets, what am I gonna do with brackets... freaking circle.

SQUARE!

Pretty sure it was Jack the pigeon dead in the parking lot last night but the cool aunt says that Jack simply left because he wanted a hot dog or to go and drive a bus. I was proud of her Mo Willems references. Made me smile.

Oh crap! I gotta email a chick about camp forms. And text mom about the curtains cause I forgot. Circle! Geez!

This is like another one of those write as you go along ones like I did with the booktalk writing. Usually I have things planned out. Not tonight. Circle.

Hey look, four SQUARE points. I should really just end this post now. Cause it's not gonna go anywhere else. We watched the boobs episode of Match Game tonight while they were here. It's funny. And yes, that's the only way I can name that episode, I'm pretty sure I posted that clip yesterday...or the day before but you should watch it if you haven't already. Fannie is awesome. "I said berries" I died.

Okay, before I ring around the circle again I'll hit you with a music rec and get the heck offa this keyboard before I say something stupid...er... than I've said earlier.

hmmm.... music.... oh!

I've heard this song like five times in the past couple weeks. And before this week I haven't heard it in like years. I mean, I have it on my computer cause it's from a soundtrack I own. But yeah, today brought it all back yet again this week.
Enjoy.

"If you wanna be happy" Jimmy Soul

this song is just mean. but funny. but still really mean. I like the screaming part from 1:38-the end. "YOUR LIFE!.....YOUR WIFE!....OF VIEW!....get an ugly girl to marry you...."


Name that soundtrack. I'll give you a hint.
"The moment I wake up.........before I put on my makeup........"