when you went away you took my cow Bessie, I miss her darling more than I miss you.

Remember how last year I said, hey I'm going to feel like crap immediately following camp so I should take the rest of that week off?

And then this year when requesting vacation I said, I need to save vacation because of all the hell that's going to break loose in the fall, I'll be able to handle it?

Guess how well that worked out.

Feeling a lot better today than I did yesterday, but that's not really saying much.

My whole body hurts, my voice is gone and I'm exhausted.

But I had to actually get off the couch today - which is more than I can say about yesterday - so I only slept until 4 because the boyfriend's sister is getting married tomorrow and we had the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner to go to tonight. Met even more family and then we went to the fair with his brother.

Remember the quarter game he's addicted to? With the trucks and you put it in the tube and then it lands and it pushes stuff forward? We played for hours. Got like 48 red coins and won 2 bigass stuffed creatures. He got a parrot and I got a ninja banana.

I would post a picture but it's in my car and I'm too lazy to go and get it. Perhaps tomorrow.

But it's awesome. I'll put it next to the giant guitar we won last year.

His brother won his wife a giant Nemo, which was also cool but not AS COOL as my giant ninja banana.

Anyway, aside from the whole lady gunning for my job thing camp was pretty good. Had a lot of fun with the usual gang and we are meeting up on Sunday to finish up camp stuff before our golf tournament next weekend!

So, as promised, here are the skits I used for this year's round of Skits and Worship.


3rd boys: Two Suckers On a Stick Camping Skit
One camper is the store owner and the other 3 campers are customers that enter the store one at a time. Ask the two counselors nicely if they will stand on a tree branch on the stage and tell them they're "scenery".
Customer 1: Do you have any Hershey's?
Owner: Sorry, I'm all out.
Customer 2: Do you have any M&M's?
Owner: Sorry, I'm all out.
Customer 3: Do you have any Snickers bars?
Owner: Sorry, I'm all out.
Customer 3: Well, what DO you have?
Owner: All I have are these two suckers on a stick.



3rd Girls: Bravest Camper in the World Camping Skit
MC: Campers, Parents, and Guests - welcome. We have with us today a very special camper. Sally, please come up here. This young woman has proven her bravery through trials and challenges most of us would never dream of let alone live through. Sally is afraid of nothing! She has traveled through Transylvania during a full moon, even camped out alone in a cemetery.
MC: I'm sure some of you probably don't believe anyone could be so brave so I've rounded up some of the most gruesome monsters that have ever walked the face of the earth. Sally will demonstrate her bravery for you. Here comes DRACULA - a blood-thirsty fiend from the old country!
(Dracula glides up to Sally and raises her arms about to attack.)
(Sally smiles and shakes her hand.)
(Dracula dejectedly shuffles off behind Sally while werewolf is coming on.)
MC: And now, a foul werewolf from England - a ferocious beast of the night!
(Werewolf charges in, growling and clawing the air.)
(Sally yawns as she looks at the werewolf.)
(werewolf whimpers away behind Sally as mummy comes in.)
MC: The mummy! an undead creature from Egypt!
(Mummy walks in with arms straight ahead, groaning and mumbling.)
(Sally checks her wristwatch and looks bored.)
(mummy shuffles away as next monster comes in.)
MC: As you can see, nothing scares this bravest of campers, not even the most hideous monsters of the world. And, to recognize Sally's bravery, our leader will now present her with a small trophy. Good job, Sally!
(Sally needs to keep looking out at the audience and smiling. As the leader gets close to her and holds out the trophy, Sally turns from the audience to look at her. Then with a terrified look on her face she runs away from the leader screaming. All the monsters and MC also run away yelling, screaming, and moaning as they leave the stage.)


4th Boys: SFX script
Group of campers make sound effects in parenthesis
Narrator: It's summer time at Camp J. One big day of rain (THUNDERSTORM) and two days later the birds are out (CHIRP), the counselors have come out of hibernation (WHO MOVED MY MATTRESS).
It's like the end of school, everyone cheering (CHEERING), and the campers come out (MOM DID YOU PACK MY SWIM TRUNKS?), and the music crew is jamming on their guitars (PHARAOH PHARAOH OH BABY LET MY PEOPLE GO).People put on sunscreen (SPLORT) and sit in the shade and watch the kids playing kickball (HOW DID YOU MISS THAT?!).

The camp is full of people, counselors (PUT DAT DOWN. DON'T EAT DAT.) and kids playing volleyball (HIT IT OVER!) And birdwatchers watching for snipes. (I SAW ONE! NO YOU DIDN’T! YES I DID! NO YOU DIDN’T! YES I DID!)

The big news was the 50-ton gray whale who washed up in the lagoon (SPLASHING, WALLOWING) — evidently all the excitement interfered with his navigational equipment (ELECTRONIC CHAOS) but there he was in the lagoon, all 50 tons of him and the campers came out and sprayed him with garden hoses (SPLASH) and they poured Kool-Aid on him (SPLASH) and he started singing. He seemed to be singing doo-wop (DOOWOP) and they x-rayed him and found that he had swallowed a member of the cast of "Forever Plaid" from a cruise ship in the Caribbean — so they got the whale to swallow a rope and the guy got hold of it and they pulled him out (HEAVE! HEAVE!)

When he came out, so did some car tires (SCREECH) and bubble wrap (POP) and a 1995 Mazda which still worked (VROOM VROOM) and now the whale really felt like singing. He sang some show songs. (OKLAHOMA) Like Oklahoma. And "Sound of Music" (THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC). And it was pretty exciting at first, but then it was clear that his repertoire was limited. And when the whale sang, "Love will keep us Together" (LOVE WILL KEEP US TOGETHER THINK OF ME BABE WHENEVER) over and over and over, they called in a tugboat (BOAT HORN) and they towed him out of the lagoon and into the little blue and everybody at camp had to stop what they were doing for one whole afternoon so the whale could regain his navigational system and then he rose up huge and gray in the river and he blew (AIR) and he blew again (AIR) and off he went to rejoin his group.


4th Girls: Look What I Found Fishing!
Campers walk on one by one each with an object they caught fishing
Camper 1: I went fishing and I found an octopus
2: I went fishing and I found a penguin.
3: I went fishing and I found a snake.
4: I went fishing and I found Ariel.
The last camper is dragging the leader behind her, and announces all she got fishing was A CRAB!


5th Boys: Walk On Selections
Camper walks in wearing a flashlight headlamp. Walks around center stage awhile, looking somewhat confused or dreamy.
MC: What's the matter?
Camper : I'm feeling a little LIGHT-headed.
Campers walk in wearing the same item of clothing, we used a skirt.
MC: What are you guys doing?
All Campers: It says 'One Size Fits All!'
A camper runs on stage looking all over.
Camper : Where is it? I can't find it.
MC: What are you looking for?
Camper : The humor in that last joke/skit!
2 campers walk on carrying tree branches with leaves loosely connected so they can be shaken off. They shake their branches as they walk across the stage, leaving leafs behind.
MC: You guys need to get off the stage!
Campers: Don't worry - we're just LEAFing.
Camper runs on, looking frantic.
Camper : It's all around me! It's all around me!
MC: What is it? What's all around you?
Camper : My Belt!
Camper runs on stage frantically waving his arms.
Camper : They're after me! They're after me!
MC: Who's after you?
Camper : The squirrels - they think I'm NUTS!
Camper walks across stage dragging a rope.
MC: Why are you pulling that rope through here?
Camper : Ever try to PUSH one?
Camper runs to center stage with companion.
Camper : And, now, its time to make a Spot announcement.
Companion: BARK!
Camper : Thank you, Spot!
Camper walks to center stage and starts throwing a ball up and catching it.
MC: Hey, what are you doing?
Camper : I don't feel very well and I'm THROWING UP!
Camper walks to center stage while yelling 'ATTENTION! ATTENTION!'
MC: Hey, what are you doing?
Camper : I'm just looking for a little attention.
Camper runs onstage
Camper : Mr. Scott, the Tribles are after me. BEAM ME ABOARD!
Camper offstage throws a board to land in front of the camper.
Camper : Thank you! picks up board and runs off


5th Girls: Smoke Signals Skit
#1: Wow, it's great to be out here in the wild.
#2: Hey, what's that over there? Looks like smoke signals.
Two campers wave a blanket back and forth to make signals
#1: Fortunately, I learned smoke signaling at camp last summer. Let me see if I can read them.
#1: (looking through binoculars and sounding out each word)
Help . . . our . . . blanket . . . is . . . on . . . fire.
#1: Huh. (walk off uninterested)

6th boys: Run-aways Camping Skit 
Run-away #1: Quick, we've got to hide. The warden with his dogs are right behind us!
Run-away #2: Hey, climb these trees and pretend to be an animal.
Run-away #3: They'll never catch us up there!
Run-away #4: Good idea!
Climb counselors posing as trees - all climb a different tree
Warden comes on stage, with two dogs barking and sniffing the trail to the first tree. The dogs start barking up the tree
Run-away #1: Tweet, Tweet, Tweet
Warden: Dumb dogs, there's just a bird up there, let's go!
dogs bark and sniff to the 2nd tree
Run-away #2: Meow, Meow, Meow
Warden: Dumb dogs, that's just a cat up there.
dogs bark and sniff to 3rd tree
Run-away #3: Hoo, Hoo, Hoo
Warden: Dumb dogs, that’s just an owl.
dogs bark and sniff next tree
Run-away #4: Mooooooo!
Dogs bark in a frenzy and warden gets the run-away

6th Girls: Not Enough Parachutes Camping Skit
Pilot: to arriving passenger Good afternoon. Please tell me who you are so I can cross-check our passenger list.
President: I am the President of the United States.
Pilot: Welcome aboard, Mr. President. Please take a seat.
Pilot: Good afternoon. Please tell me who you are so I can cross-check our passenger list.
Elvis: I’m Elvis, thank you very much.
Pilot: Welcome aboard, please take a seat.
Pilot: Good afternoon. Please tell me who you are so I can cross-check our passenger list.
Queen Elizabeth: I am the Queen, do you even need to ask.
Pilot: Sorry, welcome aboard. Please take a seat.
Pilot:  Good afternoon. Please tell me who you are so I can cross-check our passenger list.
Angelina Jolie: I’m Angelina Jolie, the famous movie star.
Pilot: Welcome aboard, please take a seat.
Pilot: Good afternoon. Please tell me who you are so I can cross-check our passenger list.
Donald Trump: I’m Donald Trump, check out my hairdo.
Pilot: It looks very nice sir. Please take a seat.
Pilot: Good afternoon. Please tell me who you are so I can cross-check our passenger list.
Smart Woman: importantly I am the Smartest Woman in the World. I've just been awarded this wonderful 'Smart Girl' award and I'm heading to my laboratory to think about important things.
Pilot: Welcome aboard, ma’am. Please take a seat.
Pilot: Good afternoon. Please tell me who you are so I can cross-check our passenger list.
Person: I am a Camper on my way to Camp J.
Pilot: Welcome aboard. Please take a seat.
Pilot: takes seat in cockpit This is your pilot. We are cleared for take-off. Please buckle your seatbelts and enjoy the ride.
plane takes off and everyone looks out the windows for a few seconds then make siren noises
Pilot: looks nervously at controls. I'm sorry to report that we have a major malfunction. The plane is losing altitude and we will crash in 2 minutes. We will need to parachute to safety. Please follow me.
pilot counts parachutes and addresses passengers.
Pilot: I have more bad news. We only have 7 parachutes.
President: pushing past pilot to rear and grabbing a parachute I am the President! My country needs me! and he jumps out
All make excuses on why they should get parachute
Smart Man: pushing past pilot to rear and grabbing a parachute I am the world's Smartest Woman! I must live so I can do important things! and she jumps out
Pilot: to camper Well, there's only one chute left. You take it. I guess the pilot will go down with his ship.
Camper : Actually, there are 2 chutes left.
Pilot: Really? How is that possible?
Camper : Well, the Smartest Woman in the World just jumped out with my knapsack!


Hee Haw 7th/8th Grade
perform between each grades skit, all sing final refrain at each other
BOYS: Down here on the farm the weather is messy -- lying around with nothing to do -- when you went away you took my cow Bessie -- I miss her darling more than I miss you.
Where Oh Where are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and thought I found true love. You met another and *pbbb* you was gone.
GIRLS: Now birdies eat seeds and some people plant them -- And now I’ve got seeds but what can I do -- Beyond any doubt I really don’t need them -- But they came with a tomato like you.
Where Oh Where are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and thought I found true love. You met another and *pbbb* you was gone.

BOYS: Remember you phoned me a-sobbin' and cryin' -- The dog bit your maw, and drug her around -- You said she looked pale and thought she was dying -- I said "Don't worry, I'll buy a new hound."
Where Oh Where are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and thought I found true love. You met another and *pbbb* you was gone.

GIRLS: You had six kids and I had eleven -- We had four more and they bloomed like flowers -- I wish you’d come back without you ain’t heaven -- Cause your kids and my kids are beating up ours
Where Oh Where are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and thought I found true love. You met another and *pbbb* you was gone.

BOYS: Remember the night we went to the church dance -- You came and asked me if your lipstick was smeared -- Now you got so mad cause I told the truth dear -- I can’t see your lips through you mustache and beard
Where Oh Where are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and thought I found true love. You met another and *pbbb* you was gone.

If you don't know Where oh Where watch this:



For previous years skits go here or here.


Song of the Day:

Heard this at the fair and did a doubletake.

Now You're Gone - Basshunter


I was obsessed with this song back in college (ask sketch) when it was still Boten Anna. He made an English version - though the lyrics have totally changed - because the original one was so popular.

I discovered it while writing a speech on the dangers of online chatrooms. Here's the original in Swedish.



and that's all i got. have a good one.

"I'd rather take advice from a ham sandwich."

I don't know how, but Carter just knows.

Like when I'm having a bad day and I'm all emotional he just sits with me and doesn't bite or anything.

Sleeps all curled up on my stomach facing me to make sure I'm okay or something.

Last night was ridiculous. I hate throwing up, it's gross and awkward.

But what makes it even worse was that I think it was me and my messed up headspace that was making me sick in the first place.

Because I was fine all day - I felt off, but that's not unusual - and then I start freaking out about stuff and throw up. And then it just doesn't stop and I start burning up.

Just blah.

So I was up pretty late doing that, and then I was too hot to sleep so I watched Storage Wars.

Oh the excitement, I know.

Crashed about 3 or 4, woke up at 8 and Superwoman told me to stay home.

Which means tomorrow I'm gonna have a mega workload cause of all the stuff that needed to get done yesterday.

Mostly program planning stuff, need to submit everything to my bosses to they can approve it and send it on.

So today I slept it all off.

Woke up around noon. Watched Dredd.



4/10 on the Scale of Awesome. Oh my god cheesy. Like bad cheesy. I gave it a chance cause of Karl Urban but totally not worth it.

and Alex Cross



6/10 for that one, not so great either. More cheesy acting. I just can't take Tyler Perry seriously after all the Madea stuff. It's like taking Eddie Murphy seriously. Just doesn't happen.

After that I did homework.

Started at 4:30, just finished at 10:30.

All for the same assignment.

And freakin' furby McDermott decides that he's gonna wake up and talk nonstop in the middle of it.

Yay headphones.

But now it's done.

And submitted.

So now I'm gonna watch some Winter X-Games, thanks Instacake. DVR'ing the rest of them.

We're kind of nerds for all things X-Games.

oh my god, watch this commercial.


seriously?

Alright, women's halfpipe. I'm out.

oh, and remind me to not post again when i'm all emotional and rambly cause it causes people to call and panic.

like my mother.

twice.

pre-midnight post, holy crap tag in use.

is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe...

Gonna start off by saying I feel like crap.

I need at least 6 hours of sleep to function and since I got less than 4 last night my stomach is all acidy - does anyone's get that way or is that just me? Like even if I stay up all night on purpose like at lock-ins and stuff when I was a kid - my stomach turns into complete acid and hurts and I'm nauseous and it throws off my whole day. Plus I was burning up this morning but too tired to go get thermometer so I'm really hoping I'm not getting whatever flu is going around cause that means the boyfriend will now get it and he's been sick enough.

Needless to say I slept all day, finally waking up around 5:30 to eat and then crashing back on the couch to watch Bones, Malibu Country and NCIS.

I did however, register for not only summer classes but fall ones as well and did some homework before getting on here to post so the day wasn't a complete loss.

This summer I'll be taking Foundations which is a 1 credit class completely online that you can apparently finish in like a week - yay. And then Library Systems which is 3 credits completely online but it's only in June so with that combination I should be fine for camp in July.

In the fall I'm taking Youth Services which only makes sense since I'm in it and then doing my practicum at the Regional Center. Did I mention Tom is in? I about jumped up and down but then realized that would look bad and I don't want to scare him off already.

Anyway, 3 credits for Youth Services and 2 for 90 hours of Practicum and then I'll be done completely.

After taking comps of course.

Which is going to suck big time.

It's the equivalent of writing a thesis, except that it's four of them basically. She told us to take that week off of work completely.

Oh joy.

I'm already nauseous this is just making it worse.

Okay new topic. Let's go with yesterday.

So, from the beginning, since apparently me not posting means I'm dead on the side of the road.

Sunday, March 2nd,

scratch that, March 3rd,

See, can't even function properly. Good thing I wrote down the class names and numbers before attempting to register today.

Anyway, woke up at 9:50, went to church. Mom was there cause of Grams birthday party, she came early to help the Cool Aunt set up. After church went out with Oldest Sister's family plus Mom plus the Cool Aunt to the awesome Greek restaurant for some flaming cheese - which my niece and nephew are obsessed with cause they light it on fire and yell opa - and some eggs and sausage, cause apparently they have a breakfast menu.

It was awesome.

Afterwards I came back to the apartment, showered, and figured out numbers for classes and added them to a cart so all I had to do was hit enroll and I'm good. Which I did so I'm good.

Then headed over to Grams place for the party. It was a good turnout, some of her siblings were there and their kids, then the Cool Aunt's family and a couple of uncles, one with his wife and a daughter and then ours minus Second Sister who is sick.

So I'm basically screwed cause our family is sick and people at work are sick. I'm hoping it'll just be today and then I'm over it. Granted it's worse cause of the lack of sleep but I don't think that's the entire cause of the thing. Got the gross runny nose and cough to go with it too but I've had that all week.

Blah.

Anyway, we sang and ate cake and jammed out for about an hour with the family. Nice to see some extended family I haven't seen in like years. And Grams was happy so that was good. We took a lot of pictures and I got to talk to my uncles about some family history that I've been attempting to collaborate. Scroll down a few posts, well it might be a few pages by now since you've gotten Jax and Matt Harper since.

I know all this stuff about my Dad's side but really nothing about Mom's side which is weird cause I lived with Grams.

Anyway, I asked my uncles about a family legend - basically my grandpa was a kickass baseball player. And I'm not just saying that. He was a pitcher and no one could hit off him. He played for a farm team in Kansas in the semi-pros and legend has it he got called up to the big leagues, but the day before he was going to leave his throwing arm got hit by a stray ball and his career was over.

But it's legend because my uncles have heard it through extended family and not from their own dad because grandpa was never about showing off. He wrote a book - a novel - and it got published and they didn't even know about it until after it came out.

Which was posthumous, btw.

But he didn't tell them. He was good man, my grandpa, and I'd like to learn more about him but with Grams the way she is with the Alzheimer's I'm almost too afraid to ask her. Cause I don't want to upset her if she doesn't remember.

And it's a hard topic anyway.

I have his journals. Well, sections of his journals that my artist uncle uploaded. But those only go so far, like I said he wasn't one to show off.

So I shall continue to attempt to get my facts from extended family.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, birthday, Grams was happy and it was fun.

After that came back to the apartment to get ready for the concert. The boyfriend has this thing that DRIVES ME NUTS where I tell him to be here at 5 and then he'll text me at like 4:55 saying he's just leaving - there's an hour drive between his place and mine - and then I start freaking out and then 5 minutes later the buzzer on my door goes off and he's here.

Cause he's full of crap and was in the parking lot the whole time.

Mean.

So we left about 5:15, got to the arena around 6:30 and parked in the lot cause we don't really know that area as well. I go there with the Cool Aunt for the CWS but she drives and really, whenever I go there for school I stick to 72nd and Dodge. That's literally all I know. BTW lot parking, bad idea, but I'll get there.

Went in, showed our tickets, found our seats - front row mezzanine on the balcony it was awesome I was like 50 feet away from Adam Levine, holy crap.

The boyfriend said if he lost his voice - like last week - his sister could fill in for him.

First off, Adam Levine and Avril Lavigne are not related.

Which he knows, but did I mention that he's often full of crap just to bug me?

So the seats were great, the guy a couple seats down from us was not so great. We were on the end - and being on the end is awesome - except when people keep insisting on getting up to leave and go talk to the people in the row behind you. Eventually they just went and sat back there but there were at least 5 times he had to walk back and forth in front of us before that happened.

Anyway, Owl City was first.



They did about 5 songs - I knew 2 of them, apparently I need to listen to their new album cause all I could sing were Fireflies and Good Time. Fireflies was super cool cause everyone had their phone out in the pitch dark and it looked like fireflies.



Then came Neon Trees - whom I love.



See, I got their single Animal free off itunes way before they were on the radio. So then when I heard it on the radio I went nuts - same thing with Hey Monday and La Roux. They played Animal, Everybody Talks, some others from their new album and then covered Don't You Want Me by the Human League. The audience went nuts, we went nuts. The boyfriend even sang that one.

But the sociology minor in me kicked in during this whole thing cause the majority of the people in the audience were either 40 or teenagers. And then there was like me and him and Beej (who was there with a group of teenagers.) Anyway, so it was hysterical because when they covered that all the "old" people - they're not old, don't scoff, I'm just saying in the context of audience members they were old compared to the teenagers - so all the "old" people were yelling out the lyrics while the younger ones sat back and went, "what the hell is this song and why do you know the words?" So they rocked it, but not nearly as much as Maroon 5 rocked it.

Holy crap. So while Owl City and Neon Trees sang about 5 a piece, Maroon 5 sang about 20, and it was awesome.

They started with Payphone and it all went uphill from their, even including classics like Sunday Morning, She Will Be Loved, Harder to Breathe, and This Love. Other ones you might know are Wake Up Call, Won't Go Home Without You, Makes Me Wonder, Misery, Moves Like Jagger, and then their newest One More Night, Daylight, Lucky Strike, and Love Somebody - amongst others. It was awesome.



So they sang 3 out of my top 5 - Won't Go Home Without You, Misery, and Moves Like Jagger only missing Back At Your Door and How. But I love them all and making that top 5 and leaving others out like Man Who Never Lied, Doin' Dirt, Get Back In My Life, One More Night and Lucky Strike are painful, but they're in my top 10.



Did I mention I was a fan?

Blame Second Sister.

She's the one that gave me the Hands All Over CD that brought them back in my life - after the first album I got distracted by other artists. Now they're back full-force.

And she's the one that called today demanding details.



Anyway, one of the coolest things was how much he featured James Valentine. Kept calling him a native and saying how excited he was to do the show for months and how he deserves the most camera time.

Held up his guitar pick that said Jimmy V.



Loved it.

For those of you who don't know James Valentine is his guitarist.

And he's from Lincoln.

Plus he's awesome so it's a trifecta.

And speaking of natives - Neon Trees' sound engineer is from Omaha so he and his kid ran onstage before the performance and took a picture in front of the crowd.

I literally cannot ramble enough about how awesome Maroon 5 were live.



I mean, Neon Trees was fantastic. Tyler has some excellent dance moves - and cool shoes - plus their female drummer is phenomenal, but Adam, James and the rest of their crew were even better.



It was amusing because at one point they gave Adam a camera and he went around introducing his band members.

They sang for a while then left the stage and I'm like, are they not gonna sing Moves Like Jagger? I was in shock. Then they dropped the bridge which was up in the ceiling to the platform in the middle of the crowd and they came back out and sang that was plus She Will Be Loved - acoustic with James - Stereo Hearts, and Daylight.



Instead of Xtina it was some brunette, who I'll have to Google cause I have no idea who it was. She was good just not as good as Xtina. She did has kickass boots though.

As do a lot of people lately so apparently I need some. Which Oldest Sister keeps insisting but see the only place I go is work. And the last time I wore boots to work was on a dare - the cowboy ones after Myers, sorry Connelly's wedding - and they kicked my ass. That was painful.

There's a reason I don't wear heels, you should have seen me in drama senior year, oh geez.

Silver high heels as Elaine Harper in Arsenic and Old Lace attempting to flee Jonathan and his henchman Einstein (who just happens to be the current boyfriend.)

"Run across the stage in these and don't make noise that the floor mics will pick up."

Yeah, right.

I got so much crap from Juwanna. Still have a picture of us holding them after a performance.

Where was I?

See what I said about ramblings? Amped just talking about the concert - it was this times ten last night which is why I couldn't sleep.



It rocked, so they sang and we sang - boyfriend included.

Which he will deny I'm sure so please bring it up in the future.

But he did good.

Was the perfect present.

So of course afterward he's like, you know I'll never be able to top that, right?

Ever the romantic showing up at work with flowers and all that.

He'll think of something.

After we got out of the building we got stuck in the lot for an hour, and like I said they sang about 20 plus the other 10 so it was way way way late by the time we got back.

Which is why I'm going to bed early tonight - early meaning midnight.

Which is 5 minutes from now.

So I should stop rambling and post the music and fiction and then crash.

As expected you're gonna get a lot of Maroon 5 for the next week.

Or two.

So get used to it.

Figuring out how I'm gonna divide this up. Think I'll go by album so favorites from Songs About Jane - came out 2002 - of course I can't post them all so you'll get 3 and then tomorrow you'll get more from SAJ and then it'll go from there on...

Harder To Breathe



This Love


She Will Be Loved


THEY LOOK SO YOUNG!

alright, all fantastic and now it's on to the Jax's finale. or should i say beginning.

In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni - Part Six

I get about halfway done with my own grave before my arms start shaking and I can’t dig anymore. The taller man looks at me, then at the dead girl, then at me again. I shake my head no. It doesn’t matter what I say, I’m dead anyway.

The taller man points his gun at my head. “Any last words, Mr. Jameson?” he asks.

I just stare at him.

“Go with God,” he says, cocking his gun.

“If there was a god, there wouldn’t be people like me,” I reply, closing my eyes waiting for the gunshot.

“Jax…Jax,” says a female voice.

Who was that? How do they know my name? I open my eyes and look around, seeing only the two men in front of me and the dead girl to my left. None of the three have moved since I closed my eyes or seem to notice another female presence.

“What?” I ask.

“Your alarm is going off,” says the voice.

Alarm? I blink and I’m gone. Ceiling. No stars. A dream. “Right, sorry,” I say reaching for my phone and turning off the alarm. Eight A.M. I sit up, throwing my legs over the side of the bed, and run my hands over my face. It was a dream. Stop sweating. In my stomach I can feel her eyes on me. I turn around and see the girl smiling at me. It’s probably against regulations to sleep with your assigned partner the night before a mission but I’ve never been one for following rules. She looks a lot better without the blood-splattered face. I should really get her name before the op tonight. She only knows mine, or one of my aliases rather, because I paid for the hotel room with a credit card.

I grab my duffel bag and walk to the bathroom to take a shower. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. After I’m done I return to find her dressed and cleaning her gun. Eight-fifteen A.M.

“Ready?” she asks, looking up at me from the chair in the corner.

“Yeah.”

She pulls a phone out from her bag and hands it to me. I hold down the number two key, activating the speed dial. It takes two rings before someone picks up.

“I can get you what you want,” I say simply. There is a pause.

“Blue building, corner of thirty-third and Thomas,” says a German voice. “Eleven P.M. Through the back door and up the stairs to the second floor. Come alone.” Dialtone.

I look at the girl. “Phase one, complete.”

***11:15 P.M.***

“Do we have an understanding, Herr Jameson?” the German asks, staring at me through the darkened office. 

...

In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni - We go into the circle by night and are consumed by fire.

and then it starts over again. cause it's a circle.

...for more pictures see facebook album...

"Don't tell the elf." "Not a word."

Sickness Day One:

- Woke up with a fever, headache, was exhausted and sore.

- Laid on the couch freezing and overheating attempting to sleep and watching Lord of the Rings movies 1, 2, and 3. Which I didn't realize was an all day affair until I attempted it.


Sickness Day Two:

- Already had the day off, had plans all of them cancelled.

- Woke up with a fever, headache, was exhausted and sore started coughing again.

- Laid around on the couch attempting to sleep and watching an all-day marathon of NCIS.



Sickness Day Three:

- Woke up with a fever, no voice, exhaustion and frustration!

- Laid around on the couch attempting to sleep and do homework. Caught up on Leverage.

I'm going stir crazy so I'm going in tomorrow. My fever is gone and I can stay in this apartment no longer.

Do you know how hard it is to sleep not only when you're freezing one minute and then overheated the next but with a 22 POUND CAT SLEEPING ON YOUR STOMACH?!

Normally this is cute and fine and a nightly occurrence but I was freezing so I'd put on more blankets, and then I'd be hot so I'd attempt to throw them off but you can't when there's a 22 POUND CAT SLEEPING ON YOUR STOMACH!

Cause he's cute and fluffy, but he gets mad when you wake him up from his nap. And he naps A LOT! But then, when I finally fall asleep he decides he wants to get up which means he wants me to get up.

I know this cause if I don't he'll jump on me and walk around on my stomach and stare at me.

Or lay across the room and glare at me until I get up and play with him.

He's smart though cause he bites normally but not when I'm sick which is super weird. It's like he knows. Though the fact that I laid around in the fetal position for like 3 days isn't exactly subtle.

Livin' on popsicles and flavored water, ah the good life.

No, I'm fine, it's fine, we're fine, the boyfriend's almost fine as is the rest of the family.

See there are two strains going around in our family there's the stomach flu that my Mom had plus Oldest Sister and Squirt and my brother. And then there's the Influenza that me and the boyfriend had.

And apparently that lasts for like a week so I'm cutting it short and going to work tomorrow. Cause it's all mental. Only reason I keep staying home is cause of the fever, otherwise I probably would have sucked it up and went in.

I'm like my dad like that. I don't really take sick days.

Anyway, tomorrow it is. But I did get some homework done today. Finished the IT paper that's due tomorrow at 10 AM - huzzah - next up is the paper due Sunday - cause I already finished the one due Saturday. And then the one that's due next Saturday is after that.

And then I'm done for the semester!!

But then January will come and I will once again be overrun by assignments. Which is fine. Cause next December I will be done done.

As in done eternally.

As in no way am I going for a doctorate.

I already feel crazy enough for going back voluntarily, I ain't doing it again. Power to the ones crazy/brave enough for it.

Alright, off to sleep now. Work tomorrow then the weekend off. 9 hours, I can power through 9 hours. I'll be fine. It's all mental.

i'm sorry but tracy morgan is the best part of this skit every time they do it.


He's cute but he's fat.

2012 skits, sickness, olympics and a giant guitar.

I didn't factor in the exhaustion that appears immediately following camp into my work vacation.

I will do that next year.

Needless to say I texted Superwoman this morning - cause I knew if I called she'd laugh at my lack-of-voice. I think she secretly enjoys putting me at the desk right after camp cause I can't talk and it's amusing.

But then she had BossLady call me, so my plan failed.

And she laughed at my lack-of-voice.

I couldn't talk, I felt like crap cause I didn't sleep well, and I was just physically exhausted so I went back to sleep and woke up at 4.

PM.

After that I was fine.

And I'll be fine for tomorrow.

It's just my back that's bugging me now. Think I need to visit a chiropractor. I keep saying that but I never do, I think Sketch is getting tired of hearing it.

You said that last week.

And the week before that.

Only gotta do 8 hours tomorrow and I'm off for the golf tournament on Saturday and post-camp stuff Sunday.

After the sleep-a-thon I headed out to see the boyfriend cause I missed him. We hit up the county fair where he won me - but I helped - a neon orange giant stuffed guitar in this bulldozer vs tokens game. We didn't do any rides or anything though we did watch some lawn mower racing.

Now I'm back watching taped olympics. The Americans just won gold in women's gymnastics. Sad Jordyn couldn't make the all-around but at least she got gold for this. Cool to see Shawn Johnson in the crowd, would have been cooler if she competed but apparently she was injured. Missing Nastia Luikin as well. Next up swimming. So more Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte. Actually Lochte hasn't been all that impressive and Phelps is gonna have to pick it up if he wants more medals to be the winningest in history.

Okay, as promised, here are the skits from Camp J 2012. I'm not taking credit for any as I found them all online then tweaked them a bit to fit our camp. Maybe that's why I finished them before 2AM Thursday night.

3^rd boys: Bologna

Counselor: “Did you know that Camp Jefferson has an echo? All you have to do is yell and it will repeat what you say.”

Kid: “Let me try it. I love Camp Jefferson!”

Echo: “I love Camp Jefferson!”

Kid: “3^rd grade boys rule!”

Echo: “3^rd grade boys rule!”

Kid: “Cheese!”

Echo: “Cheese!”

Kid: “Crackers!”

Echo: “Crackers!”

Kid: “Bologna!”

Echo is silent

Counselor: “It must be broken, let me try it. I’m the greatest counselor in the world!”

Echo: “Bologna!”

3^rd/4^th girls – Yaputcha

Campers: “Counselors, is it time for Yaputcha?”

Counselors check time: “No, not time yet.”

*repeat* add check wind speed, sniff the air, look into distance

Campers: “Counselors, is it time for Yaputcha?”

Counselors: “Yes, it’s time for Yaputcha.”

*all stand up*

All: “Ya-put-ya-left hand in, ya-put-ya-left hand out…”

4th boys – Outhouse
Children in a line facing pacing father
Father: "As you know, someone has pushed the outhouse into the river.(To first son) Was it you?"
First Son: "No Father!"
Father: (To second son) "Did you push the outhouse into the river?"
Second son: "No Father!" *He asks all of them, and they all say no.*
Father: "George Washington chopped down his Father's cherry tree. He told his Father 'I can not tell a lie'. When his Father heard this, he did not punish him, but he honored him for telling the truth." Now can someone tell me who did this?"
Second son: "I cannot tell a lie either Father. It was me!"
Father: "Why you little!"
He runs up after his son and other chase them
Second son: “Father! Why are you chasing me when I told you the truth? You said George Washington did not get punished!"
Father: "George Washington's Father was not in the tree when he cut it down!!"

2 kids lay in sleeping bags, 2 other pretend to be thugs
Thugs beat up 2nd kid and run off
2nd kid: “Two thugs just came through the woods and beat me up."
1st kid: "It was just a dream, go back to sleep."
*goes back to sleep and happens again*
2nd kid: “They did it again!”
1st kid: “I told you it’s a dream. Stop being a wimp and go back to sleep!”
*goes back to sleep and it happens again*
2nd kid: “They beat me up again!”
1st kid: "Fine, if it will make you feel better, I'll switch places with you."
*thugs come back*
Thug: "This guy's had enough, let's get the other guy."
2nd Kid: "Not again!!"
1st Kid: "I'm trying to sleep over here!"

5^th Grade Girls – TV Surfing 7 kids – have kids write TV stations on signs

Counselor: “Wonder what’s on the news tonight.” *hits button*

1: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, this is Seymour Skidmarks bringing you the latest news in the world of sports. The annual football game between the Huskers and the Hawkeyes was played last week to the enjoyment of a large crowd who went wild at the crucial point during the game when Coach Pelini sent in … (click) 
2: …three eggs, a cup of buttermilk, and a pinch of salt. Stir well and pour into a flat greased pan or… (click) 
3: …your new fall hat. This year, fashion decrees that women shall wear a large variety of charm bracelets. A most popular design is to make them of… (click) 
4: …old whiskers? If you do, just shave them off with Bates’ Better Shaving Cream. Use this cream, and you will be so handsome that all the girls will… (click) 
5: …bend over and touch the floor twenty times. This exercise is superb for general reducing. All right now, again, let’s bend over, up, over… (click) 
6: …(singing) the ocean. My Bonnie lies over the sea. My Bonnie lies over the ocean, oh bring back my Bonnie to … (click) 
1: …Jim Oberlander who sailed down the field for a touchdown that tied the game. What a play! What a perfect… (click) 
3: …ly darling little summer bag that all you girls simply must have. At first glimpse they may remind you of… (click) 
7: …a bowl of soup. But it was tooooo hot. The second bowl was as hot as the first, but the third was just right. Goldilocks ate, and ate, until she could… 
4: …feel the stiff beard with your hand. Does that appear to be very romantic? Our foolproof way to get a girlfriend is to… (click) 
5: …breathe deeply four times, and pound on your chest with your fists after inhaling each breath. This enlivens the tissues and makes one feel… (click) 
2: …puffy and full of air. This effect can be had by beating the mixture with a rotary eggbeater for five… (click) 
3: …hundred years. The things our grandmothers wore then are the most popular things today. Already fashion leaders, prominent society women are trying to bring back more old-fashioned manners. Their cry is "Bring back…" (click) 
6: …(singing) my Bonnie to me, bring back, bring back, oh bring back my Bonnie to me. Bring back, bring back … (click) 
4: …a nice soft chin and a host of compliments. If you use our cream, those whiskers will come out with a … (click) 
7: …CRASH!! Goldilocks had broken the little chair all to pieces. Then she jumped up and started up the stairs. There she saw three beds. The first bed was covered with a bearskin rug, which was too soft. The second bed was covered with… (click) 
1: …what looked like crawling things from the press box, but it was only the players in hard scrimmage. We are looking forward with expectations for the Huskers and their 100^th championship this fall. The players are in good condition and average weight is… (click) 
5: …110 pounds. You, too, can weigh this much if you but follow these simple exercises. Don’t take them too hard at first or you will probably have to… (click) 
6: …(singing) lay on a pillow. Last night as I lay on my bed; last night as I lay on my pillow, I dreamed that my Bonnie was… (click) 
2: …cooking in a hot oven about 450 degrees Fahrenheit. For an extra treat, garnish, add cloves or whole… (click) 
7: …bears? Will Goldilocks get home safely? How will the story end? Keep your radio tuned to this station until tomorrow at this time for the next episode of this thrilling story. Until then kiddies, be sweet and don’t forget too… (click) 
4: …shave off the whiskers with Bates’. Our motto is… (click) 
5: …stand on your head and wave your feet in the air. Gym clothes are best for this exercise, but… (click) 
3: …an ostrich feather will do just as well. Take my tip and you girls will be as fashionable as… (click) 
1: …Greg Schwartz to whom we are looking for great things this year. This is your friendly announcer, Seymour Skidmarks signing off and saying… (click) 
3: …Buh-bye!

6^th Boys – Tankety Tank Tank

*a group of campers are standing around at boot camp and another camper - the drill sergeant - strides onto the scene.*

Drill Sergeant: ATTENTION!

*The campers scurry into line and salute.*

Drill Sergeant: Today, we'll be doing a war simulation. Get your equipment and MOVE OUT!

*The campers run to the box on the middle of the stage filled with fake weapons. When the last camper arrives there are none left.*

Drill Sergeant: Private Zammerman, I'm afraid we're short on supplies. Seeing as how your name is last on my list, you will not be receiving a gun or knife.

Private Zammerman: Awwww...

Drill Sergeant: However, the troops take their training very seriously and if you pretend to shoot or stab them they will play along. Now MOVE OUT!

*The campers line up in a single file line, all facing Private Zammerman who's at the opposite side of the stage

the first camper holds up a gun. Private Zammerman holds up an imaginary gun at the camper and says...*

Private Zammerman: Bangity-Bang-Bang!

*The camper acts as if shot and falls onto the ground.

Next camper steps up, this time holding a knife. Zammerman holds up an imaginary knife and points it at the camper while saying...*

Zammerman: Stabbity-stab-stab!

*The camper acts as if stabbed and falls to the ground.

Cleaver – Choppity-chop-chop

Sword – Slicity-slice-slice

Nunchucks – Whooshity-whoosh-whoosh

The last camper slowly approaches Zammerman in a straight line.*

Zammerman: Bangity-bang-bang!

*The camper ignores the shot and keeps approaching Zammerman*

Zammerman: Stabbity-stab-stab!

*still nothing*

Zammerman: Zappity-Zap-Zap!...Slicety-Slice-Slice!...Choppity-chop-chop!

*The camper pushes Zammerman over and walks passed him.*

Zammerman: Hey! What do you think you're doing?!

*The camper turns, faces Zammerman and YELLS...*

Kid: TANKETY-TANK-TANK! TANKETY-TANK-TANK!

*then keeps walking*

6^th grade girls – Enlarging Machine

1 scientist, 1 machine worker, 1 baby, 1 business person, 1 little girl, 6 passersby

Scientist: I, Madison Einstein, after many years of intense research have created my masterpiece. An enlarging machine! With this device, what goes in comes out twice its size.

1: What’s this?

Scientist: It’s an enlarging machine.

1: What’s it do?

Scientist: Well, you put something in here, and it comes out here greatly enlarged!

1: Can I try?

Scientist: Sure, but be careful!

*throws in a twig, big stick comes out*

Same thing again with

-coin - dollar

-ping pong - softball

-hairbrush - broom

-lifesaver – hula hoop

-kid with pebbles, “stop that!” gets hit in head by a big rock

Businessman: What is this contraption? Why did you put it here? Can’t you see I’m trying to get to work? Do you even have a license for this thing? It’s a piece of junk, it belongs in a dump!

*spits into machine gets bucket of water dumped on head*

Little Girl: What’s that?

Scientist: It’s an enlarging machine, don’t touch it!

Little Girl: What’s it do?

Scientist: It enlarges things. Leave me alone!

Little girl: *sticks tongue out and throws baby doll in it*

Scientist: What have you done? Oh no, my machine! My enlarging machine!

*baby comes out and chases scientist*

Baby: Mama! Mama! Mama!

and last but not least 7th and 8th grade girls and boys HeeHaw verses, sang between all the other skits, alternating sides and including the refrain in each. 

You liked to save on things for the house dear

It was something that I could not understand

But now I know why you never bought dishes

You wanted me to eat out of your hand

When I look at you I get melancholy

You make me feel like a bump on a log

You’re not for real, I mean it by golly

A head like a melon and a face like a dog.

All of my money you’re spending on makeup

You’re trying to look like those Hollywood greats

Your mouth is too big and your nose really matches

Your eyes are so lovely too bad their not mates

I brought you a saw to save time wood-cutting

I thought cutting logs you’d get to enjoy

You said it’s too hard to work this contraption

I pulled the starter, you said what’s that noise?

The morning I felt our love start to weaken

I said to myself well I’ll grow a beard.

But that didn’t get the love I was seeking

You started laughing and said I looked weird.

Your old uncle Fudd thought he was an airplane

Went to the airfield and set off alarms

He tried to take off and fly ‘cross the ocean

With twelve bald eagles scotch taped to his arms

My daughter said John asked me to marry

I said go ahead with my blessing too

She said daddy dear how can I leave mother

That suits me fine dear just take her with you

When you went away you took my heart with you

I’ve been so upset I’m losing my head

I miss you all day I’m worse in the evening

Can’t sleep a wink now cause you took the bed

The neighbors know well the reason we broke up

I found out the way you got your enjoys

You used to send back the gifts I would send you

But you would keep the delivery boy

Where oh where are you tonight?

Why did you leave me here all alone?

I searched the world over and thought I found true love.

You met another and *pbbt* you was gone. 

What's an enigma?

Almost made it.

Got to the halfway point and it all went south.

Stupid food.

Made me sick.

First actual meal I've eaten in like 3 days. Serves me right, I'm going back to fasting man.

Mom picked me up halfway through the day and took me to the doctor.

He says it's strep.

Fantastic.

But he gave me some good drugs.

Speaking of, I will probably be out soon.

So I better make this quick.

You know when you're sitting in the doctor's office, after the nurse leaves, and you're patiently waiting for the doctor to show up?

And that's when the most random of thoughts or songs or quotes or whatever just hits you?

Is that just me?

Cause it's like that at the dentist too.

That's why I bring my ipod.

To drown out the crazy random.

Yes, the crazy random.

Go with it.

Today, I figured he wouldn't be long since it was really just us in the waiting room, so I left the ipod in my pocket.

I wasn't wrong...I mean, I wasn't right, but I wasn't wrong, but then I had to think of something to think about that wasn't going to make me nauseous. Cause there were pictures of needles and organs gross stuff that made me nauseous.

And that's the common denominator in all of my problems lately. Nausea.

So I'm thinking...hmm...what's a good and awkward song to sing in a doctor's office that you've never been to before?

No, not really.

It actually just came out of nowhere, like most of the songs that get stuck in my head do.

I got hit with this one.

"Glee Club Rehearsal"


We did "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown" my junior year of high school. And this scene was probably my favorite of the whole thing. We did pretty well, but one of the nights I totally broke out laughing during this thing live onstage.

I was Peppermint Patty, my boyfriend - at the time - played Linus, haha um my current boyfriend - but was not at that time - played Charlie Brown.

Oh yeah, and then to make things more awkward since you know Patty is supposed to be secretly in love with Chuck and all that, for One Act that same year we did this play called "Candid" in which I was the girlfriend of my current boyfriend, but again at that time I was with...I'm just gonna call him Linus cause that'll make things easier.

The NEXT year, we did "Arsenic and Old Lace" in which I was engaged to Linus, but at that time, I was dating my current boyfriend.

So there was that switch.

But it really made a lot of scenes very awkward, especially those geared toward romance.

Yeah.

There were a lot of those.

Somehow I was typecast as the girlfriend.

Huh.

High school drama, eh.

Anyway, I loved every minute of that. And if I could go back I totally would. We had so much fun, even backstage dancing behind the scenes. I'm pretty sure I told you about the gum story.

We put gum into one of the Valentine's that Charlie Brown opened onstage - we always do a lot of weird stuff like throw in extra stuff on the last night - and he was like, WHAT?!

Awesome.

Yeah, found it, for more pictures and behind-the-scenes stuff go here: My Life in Closed Captions: Christmas time is here, Happiness and cheer

We had too much fun.

Glee Club Rehearsal

i really love everyone's facial expressions in this one just because they all individually make me laugh.

Arsenic and Old Lace

yes a dress - there was actually more than one dress, the other one took 2 people to get me into it - plus silver heels. you should see those things man, they killed me - i had to run across the stage in them without like making loud clacking noises or dragging my feet and sliding all over the place cause we had floor mikes. that was fun. and took coordination. which took time. cause i don't wear heels.

Okay, I'm going to go take some drugs.

That sounds really bad, but the doctor told me to, I swear!

And then I'm gonna konk out.

And wake up tomorrow to do all my homework for this weekend.

I hope you have a good weekend. If you don't hear from me I'm probably sleeping.

i'm not clever enough at this point to think of a good title for this post.

This is so weird. I don't take sick days, let alone two in a row. I got a letter from the mayor last year for perfect attendance for crying out loud. This bites.

Okay, so here is my deal.

My new attitude in life is "it's all mental." I blame my high school basketball coach, he used to say it over and over in practice, but I've learned to live by it now.

If I feel like crap I power through and cover for anyone else, But when I have a fever and it's legitimately contageous, that's when I crash and burn.

Yesterday and today have been ridiculous.

Yesterday I was freezing, literally freezing, and had the heat on high.

It drove Carter nuts, he was sitting by the glass doors to stay cool.

Today I was burning up and opened the glass doors to let in the cool air.

I didn't eat anything yesterday - that's how I knew I was actually sick - today I force-fed myself ice-cream cake - how can anyone seriously say they force-fed themselves ice-cream cake? that sounds like an oxymoron - but now I just feel nauseous.

But see, that's my thing though.

Cause I'm nauseous all the time anyway.

So, how can I tell if it's a symptom of whatever the hell I have at this time, or if it's just the regular nausea thing that has turned into daily life?

Like, am I sick and nausea is a part of it? or am I just nauseous AND sick?

Did that make sense?

I don't think it did.

I can't even freakin' sit up at this point in time. I tried to shower but couldn't stand up long enough.

According to my mother I have what's going around the family and it takes a while to get through it. Oh, and she also told me I'm supposed to gargle saltwater - gross, that might legitimately make me throw up - but I passed on that.

So here's the deal for tomorrow.

I'm going to bed IMMEDIATELY after this post. If I wake up tomorrow and I have a fever or I can't stand up for longer than two minutes, as was the problem this morning and afternoon, then I'm going to the doctor. Or having my sister take me there, cause driving probably isn't a good idea.

If there is no fever, and I am able to walk around my apartment and stand for longer than two minutes, then I'm going to work.

I have Friday off, all I need to do is power through 8 hours on Thursday, come home and work on that presentation, and then I can crash for another entire day.

It's all mental, I can do that.

Yesterday I slept pretty much all day, when I wasn't texting the boyfriend or my mother. Today I spent on the couch, working through the DVR. Yeah. Too exhausted to even get up to put in a DVD. But I got through Castle, NCIS, The Voice, oohh, I forgot about Bones. Oh well, I'll save it for later.

Right now I am out. For like 11 hours, hopefully. Whenever I sleep I like alternate between being too cold and too hot. And cough up a lung. And Carter sits on me and stares at me - he has decided that if I'm home then I need to pay attention to him.

Or he's just mad I stole his spot.

Afterall, it is HIS apartment, I just stay here.

Or that's what he thinks at least.

Guess it depends on tomorrow. Wish me luck.

I'm out.

Greetings from Boondocks, Iowa!

So Sketch and Edit's Excellent Adventure was this past weekend.

We rocked it.

Met up halfway between her place and mine, aka Williamsburg, Iowa. Which is like population 2000, but the home place of Roxy's Bar, the Sundown Lounge, a brand new public library, and the Tanger Outlet Mall. Plus, it's about 10 miles away from the Amana Colonies - which we drove through for fun.

We stayed at this Best Western - ya, for population 2000 the place had 3 hotels, 3 Casey's (no seriously, 3 Casey's), and an outlet mall. Where was all that in G-Town? Seriously? We had 1 hotel. Which actually makes me laugh cause there's a story about it involving my sister and a bird, but I'll let you read that here: My Life in Closed Captions: Joys of Small Town Nebraska

So yes, Best Western. And the Best part of all of its Western charm was the random assortment of items that decorated the rooms and hallways. It was like 7's, birds, pineapples and farm animals. Plus some wicker furniture. And a broken pool - not that we're really swimming people, but still.

There were 7's on all the lamps - there were 4 lamps in the room all with 7's and wings on them. I wondered if that was the number lamp they were on, you know with the rock and roll crazies who throw things out the window.

we were surrounded.

And there were pineapples everywhere. Like as fake candleholders in the hallway and decorative headpieces on the bed.

Why?

The lobby was covered in birds. Literally, they were sitting all over the place. All fake. I hope. But it was like we couldn't escape them.


I was a little disturbed by this one:

um? creep factor?

And the pictures were all of either birds or other farm animals. Which I guess makes sense since it was a Best Western, but still.

Remember the Victorian themed room that brought out the Whorehouse vs. Whore's House debate? go here: My Life in Closed Captions: I've liked you for a thousand years, a thousand ye...

Found it. But I'm pretty sure no whores were involved, there were maybe like 3 cars in the parking lot total the whole time we were there. If whores were involved I'm sure creepers of all ages would swarm all over the building.

I think there were more themed rooms than there were regular. We were sane so we went with the regular, but you could stay in the the Oriental Suite, the Hi-Tech Suite (which i wanted to check out), the Frontier Cabin Suite, the Huntsman Suite, the Prarie Cabin Suite, the American Suite, the Vintage Cabin Suite, and the Flyway Suite.

Weird factor.

Even weirder?

Remember how I said there were 3 hotels? 1 of them was in town - we were outside of town, but number 3 in that lineup was next door.

No, literally NEXT DOOR.



It looked like the two hotels were attached, but there was a line of trees between the properties. Reviews said that the people who work at Super 8 - the attached hotel - are super creepy. However, the people that worked in ours were nice so apparently the trees hold off the creeps for another few feet.

We're not big partiers, but it was cool to get together and jam out.

I was sick on Saturday. I get this thing once a year, usually around winter where I'm nauseous all the time for about a month. I went to the doctor once about it and he thought it was morning sickness. Which, obviously it was not, so now I no longer go to the doctor about it.

Here are some interestings notes, questions, quotes, and other random crap I learned on my journey to and from Iowa.

-"Interesting is code for Disgusting." but only when I'm talking about food. cause then I called someone interesting and it backfired on me. well. i guess it could work for some people. i'll work on that one later.

-"Funeral Advantage? Really? Why would you name your insurance that?" i'm still wondering.

-"Diplomat Coffee" yeah, our room rocked. we didn't get just any old coffee, we got diplomat coffee.

-There are apparently 100 things that make a guy undateable. Ask VH1. The countdown was highly amusing.

-"Speed Limit 70" do all states have 70 as the max on their interstates? is 75 just a Nebraska thing? is it because we learned to drive 5 years before everyone else? with all that farm equipment? does that give us the 5-mph-edge?

-What's with the white lines on the interstate in Iowa? I'm not talking about the ones down the middle, there's a white line in the left lane that goes perpendicular to the way you're driving and it's painted like every .2 miles. What's up with that?

-Subway Drama: so this dude I guess got locked in the bathroom at Subway when we were there. He and some other dude and chick went and complained the manager saying he was stuck in there - like Sketch and I got there, ordered, sat down, ate lunch, didn't see the guy this entire time until someone let him out so he must have been in there for a while - so I went over there and there's a sign on the door that said clearly "lock is broken, you may get locked in." so yeah. how he wasn't expecting that confused me. I told Sketch if that happened to me I would text her. She said she'd just laugh and leave me. Thanks for that btw. But I HAVE THE KEYS!

-There is one thing I can escape from if I'm locked in, Sketch's trunk! She has a glow in the dark handle you can pull on if you're locked in and it'll let you out.

i know that this happens all the time on TV, but do people really get locked in other peoples' trunks?
we just really enjoyed the picture because it's not like the guy is just pulling the tab and getting out, he's pulling the tab and running like hell!though i guess i would too if i were in his situation.

-I really can listen to my ipod without skipping songs after all. Turned the thing on when I left town, didn't mess with it at all until I pulled in the drive. 67 songs straight. I was proud. You would be too if you knew how many songs are on there and on average how many I skip to get to a good one.

So, now the prodigal Library Service Associate has returned to a life of library, a fat cat, and a very pregnant Second Sister. Woohoo! Telling you, if she has a boy I'm golden! I don't have to have any! Cause it'll even it out!

Not that I won't have any.

Just.

You know.

Not anytime soon.

Unless you want them to be named The Chad and Batgirl.

Moving on.

Ran into BK today at the library, showed her some good music biographies and introduced her to our music librarian. Was cool seeing her around, will have to meet up sometime for food and a movie.

Work was basically work today, stocking supplies, checking-in the backlog, working public service.

Took Squirt home today after work and got to eat ribs with Oldest Sister and family.

Quotes of the night:

Trivia King: "Math club boys need girlfriends too." apparently Squirt toured her future high school and the boys at the math club table were drooling over her.

Bubby when I was tickling him: "This is the Bubby merchandise, hands off!" the boy cracks me up.

alright, i'm off to bed. carter about tackled me when i got home last night, slept on my stomach and wouldn't get off. i have a feeling it's going to happen again soon within the next few minutes.

OUT!