Greetings from Boondocks, Iowa!

So Sketch and Edit's Excellent Adventure was this past weekend.

We rocked it.

Met up halfway between her place and mine, aka Williamsburg, Iowa. Which is like population 2000, but the home place of Roxy's Bar, the Sundown Lounge, a brand new public library, and the Tanger Outlet Mall. Plus, it's about 10 miles away from the Amana Colonies - which we drove through for fun.

We stayed at this Best Western - ya, for population 2000 the place had 3 hotels, 3 Casey's (no seriously, 3 Casey's), and an outlet mall. Where was all that in G-Town? Seriously? We had 1 hotel. Which actually makes me laugh cause there's a story about it involving my sister and a bird, but I'll let you read that here: My Life in Closed Captions: Joys of Small Town Nebraska

So yes, Best Western. And the Best part of all of its Western charm was the random assortment of items that decorated the rooms and hallways. It was like 7's, birds, pineapples and farm animals. Plus some wicker furniture. And a broken pool - not that we're really swimming people, but still.

There were 7's on all the lamps - there were 4 lamps in the room all with 7's and wings on them. I wondered if that was the number lamp they were on, you know with the rock and roll crazies who throw things out the window.

we were surrounded.

And there were pineapples everywhere. Like as fake candleholders in the hallway and decorative headpieces on the bed.

Why?

The lobby was covered in birds. Literally, they were sitting all over the place. All fake. I hope. But it was like we couldn't escape them.


I was a little disturbed by this one:

um? creep factor?

And the pictures were all of either birds or other farm animals. Which I guess makes sense since it was a Best Western, but still.

Remember the Victorian themed room that brought out the Whorehouse vs. Whore's House debate? go here: My Life in Closed Captions: I've liked you for a thousand years, a thousand ye...

Found it. But I'm pretty sure no whores were involved, there were maybe like 3 cars in the parking lot total the whole time we were there. If whores were involved I'm sure creepers of all ages would swarm all over the building.

I think there were more themed rooms than there were regular. We were sane so we went with the regular, but you could stay in the the Oriental Suite, the Hi-Tech Suite (which i wanted to check out), the Frontier Cabin Suite, the Huntsman Suite, the Prarie Cabin Suite, the American Suite, the Vintage Cabin Suite, and the Flyway Suite.

Weird factor.

Even weirder?

Remember how I said there were 3 hotels? 1 of them was in town - we were outside of town, but number 3 in that lineup was next door.

No, literally NEXT DOOR.



It looked like the two hotels were attached, but there was a line of trees between the properties. Reviews said that the people who work at Super 8 - the attached hotel - are super creepy. However, the people that worked in ours were nice so apparently the trees hold off the creeps for another few feet.

We're not big partiers, but it was cool to get together and jam out.

I was sick on Saturday. I get this thing once a year, usually around winter where I'm nauseous all the time for about a month. I went to the doctor once about it and he thought it was morning sickness. Which, obviously it was not, so now I no longer go to the doctor about it.

Here are some interestings notes, questions, quotes, and other random crap I learned on my journey to and from Iowa.

-"Interesting is code for Disgusting." but only when I'm talking about food. cause then I called someone interesting and it backfired on me. well. i guess it could work for some people. i'll work on that one later.

-"Funeral Advantage? Really? Why would you name your insurance that?" i'm still wondering.

-"Diplomat Coffee" yeah, our room rocked. we didn't get just any old coffee, we got diplomat coffee.

-There are apparently 100 things that make a guy undateable. Ask VH1. The countdown was highly amusing.

-"Speed Limit 70" do all states have 70 as the max on their interstates? is 75 just a Nebraska thing? is it because we learned to drive 5 years before everyone else? with all that farm equipment? does that give us the 5-mph-edge?

-What's with the white lines on the interstate in Iowa? I'm not talking about the ones down the middle, there's a white line in the left lane that goes perpendicular to the way you're driving and it's painted like every .2 miles. What's up with that?

-Subway Drama: so this dude I guess got locked in the bathroom at Subway when we were there. He and some other dude and chick went and complained the manager saying he was stuck in there - like Sketch and I got there, ordered, sat down, ate lunch, didn't see the guy this entire time until someone let him out so he must have been in there for a while - so I went over there and there's a sign on the door that said clearly "lock is broken, you may get locked in." so yeah. how he wasn't expecting that confused me. I told Sketch if that happened to me I would text her. She said she'd just laugh and leave me. Thanks for that btw. But I HAVE THE KEYS!

-There is one thing I can escape from if I'm locked in, Sketch's trunk! She has a glow in the dark handle you can pull on if you're locked in and it'll let you out.

i know that this happens all the time on TV, but do people really get locked in other peoples' trunks?
we just really enjoyed the picture because it's not like the guy is just pulling the tab and getting out, he's pulling the tab and running like hell!though i guess i would too if i were in his situation.

-I really can listen to my ipod without skipping songs after all. Turned the thing on when I left town, didn't mess with it at all until I pulled in the drive. 67 songs straight. I was proud. You would be too if you knew how many songs are on there and on average how many I skip to get to a good one.

So, now the prodigal Library Service Associate has returned to a life of library, a fat cat, and a very pregnant Second Sister. Woohoo! Telling you, if she has a boy I'm golden! I don't have to have any! Cause it'll even it out!

Not that I won't have any.

Just.

You know.

Not anytime soon.

Unless you want them to be named The Chad and Batgirl.

Moving on.

Ran into BK today at the library, showed her some good music biographies and introduced her to our music librarian. Was cool seeing her around, will have to meet up sometime for food and a movie.

Work was basically work today, stocking supplies, checking-in the backlog, working public service.

Took Squirt home today after work and got to eat ribs with Oldest Sister and family.

Quotes of the night:

Trivia King: "Math club boys need girlfriends too." apparently Squirt toured her future high school and the boys at the math club table were drooling over her.

Bubby when I was tickling him: "This is the Bubby merchandise, hands off!" the boy cracks me up.

alright, i'm off to bed. carter about tackled me when i got home last night, slept on my stomach and wouldn't get off. i have a feeling it's going to happen again soon within the next few minutes.

OUT!