Are they laughing at or with me?

Stop Class #2?

Much more entertaining than the first time around.

Think it had everything to do with the teacher.

First time I went - granted it was in a smaller town and at a library, ironic - it was taught by a cop.

Today we had a sub.

I knew it would be interesting when she was showing clips from Wipeout on the projector before class started.

Every time we took a break she'd show more AFV or just random clips that she had collections of, mostly people doing stupid stuff.

The majority of them had something to do with a vehicle. So it was almost appropriately class related.

We'll call it class adjacent.

It was perfection.

Anyway, she understood that we didn't all want to be there so she flew over the material pretty quickly, not repeating things that we already knew. Answered a lot of dumb questions. I think we all passed.

Though the dude next to me was annoying the crap out of me and I wish he failed.

Does that make me a bad person?

He was playing games on his cellphone the whole class.

Then it died and he wanted to borrow my charger.

Which I didn't have. Even if I did I wasn't going to hand it over to him in the middle of stop class.

Why is it that I always end up at the table with the people who talk?

You know, they think they're whispering but they're clearly not cause she keeps looking back at them every 30 seconds.

I think that just goes with sitting in the back corner.

Did that through the majority of college, unless it was a small enough class for all of us to be forced to the front.

Gonna have to switch it up a little I guess.

I did for the Library Goddess, but then she kept using me as an example. Made me sound brilliant, I should thank her for that.

Though I sat in the back for her next class and she still did it.

So maybe it's just me.

Paying me back for the coffee.

Makes me sound like a genius librarian. In front of other library people.

Guess we're even.

But I'll still bring her coffee.

Where was I?

Oh right, Stop Class.

Didn't totally suck.

And I will forevermore be wearing my seatbelt.

It wasn't like a "click it or ticket" message thrown our way, it was more of a "click it or die" kind of message. All these videos and pictures and horrible stories. Scared into submission. Gross.

Plus, tires make me paranoid now. Did you know if they're older than 4 years that's dangerous? Not as in I've used them for four years, as in they've existed for four years. Including the years they've sat in the shop. They showed us the numbering system, I'm checking mine next time I go to the car.


Quotes of the Day:

-"Nebraska has two seasons: football season and road construction."

-"Grammatically that's a horrible sentence."

-"You know that 'oh crap' moment, right when you realize you're about to crash?"

-"We're all zombie drivers."

-"Have you ever seen an adult text? 'How do I backspace?!'"

-"He was speeding too casually."

-"You wouldn't think a minivan would go offroad."

-"It doesn't matter who I'm running over, as long as the coffee doesn't hit the interior!"

-"Beard or below is bad." does everyone know about this whole Abe Lincoln tire check thing? Was that a driver's ed thing? I'm a farm kid. We don't do driver's ed. We drive giant farm equipment far too early in life to worry about something like that.

-"You are completely allowed by law to spend 80 bucks on duct tape and make a window."

-"If your passengers are laughing kick them out. They'll stop laughing."

-"Number One: Know your material or you suck. Number Two: Know the answers or it's back to number one, you suck."

-"So it's like diet beer? Ew!"

-"Is velveeta really cheese?"

-"Fine, let THEM eat the re-tread!"

-"Take a wrong turn and you end up in Iowa!"


-"Point number three: Never screw with the Queen of England."

Though the HIGHLIGHT of the ENTIRE DAY!! was totally my bad. I mean, nobody else really noticed. Except the annoying guy to my right and the annoying teen to his right.

Have you seen this commercial? Bridgestone tires?



If you haven't, you should watch it.

NOW.

I did a spit take. Literally. I was swallowing my coffee and the second that first squirrel screamed it came out of my mouth and back into the thermos. Laughing and swallowing and coughing at the same time is just awkward. Luckily the majority of my classmates were out of the room on break.

But dude.

I'd seen it before too, I just didn't remember it.

Classic spit take.

Not one of my shining moments.

But it just got worse cause them I kept thinking about the video and laughing when I really shouldn't have been laughing cause she's talking about death and destruction.

A lot of the stuff just reminded me of this episode of NCIS when Abby and Tony are talking about driving classes and Abby is commenting on the videos. "Drink, Drive, Die" was the name of one she wanted on DVD.

And it's like the time that I couldn't stop laughing at this quote from Just Shoot Me and it made working in the lab, where there are just two of us, really awkward.

But that's when you take a lap.

And roam the floor.

Can't stop laughing at something Nina Van Horn said like 9 years ago?

Perfect time to go check the biographies to make sure no one's dealing drugs, sleeping, peeing on the material or doing anything else back there.

The joys of a public library.

Another joy of a public library?

We're open on Sundays.

Which means I will be there.

So I should sleep.

"At Or With Me" Jack Johnson

It's okay Jack. I hate him too. Beat him up. Gotta say, 2:59, best part ever. I cheered. Cannot stand that guy.

Is it bad to cheer for something like that hours after you leave a stop class?

and to all a goodnight.