Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof.

I know, I know, I've been off the radar for a few days.

Long story short I realized working at a public library and having a public blog kind of kills my whole privacy thing.

So, it's not that I don't love you, it's just that I've decided to slow down in postings and wait until I actually have things to post about instead of just overloading you every night with mindless ramblings.

Not that they're not entertaining, but it's about time.

This was the first year in years that one of my resolutions wasn't 300 posts by the end of year. I don't know if it was subconscious or what...but anyway, instead of 7 posts a week it will probably be down to 2 or 3.

So I'm not disappearing completely. Besides this blog is kind of how Sketch makes sure I'm still breathing so it's not like I can give it up all together.

And it's become a part of me, as weird as that sounds, so I can't give it up, it'd be like chopping off a limb or something.

So, what have you missed?

Well, there was Wednesday.

Work was fine. Trained an intern. She's actually one of our regulars who decided to go to library school.

After work went out with Homey-G-Wigger for jalapeno margaritas cause she was in town. Graded papers for a while at the library so I got to introduce her around.

She got a call. That's what we Lutherans call a job offer at a different school.

When there's an opening they call a teacher and if they decline then they call another. It's a whole official process and goes through synod channels and all that. G hasn't taken a call in over a decade, which we're grateful for. Her last one was from Florida to which I responded, "Friends don't let friends move to Florida" and she stayed. But now this one is closer to her home. It would totally suck to lose her cause she basically keeps that school alive. Plus you know, 2G golf and our softball team would be severely lacking. But we would understand if she left. Anyway, it was cool to catch up.

Thursday I had off. Spent it running errands and watching Person of Interest.

I know, I'm so exciting.

Today felt super weird cause I'm never off on Thursdays so it felt like a Saturday. Attended a booktalk this morning cause I'm giving one in a few weeks and they let me go watch so I would know what to expect.

Public speaking and I are not friends, whatsoever.

But they did a good job.

It was nice to meet the people and introduce myself and also pick up pointers like, handouts are appreciated, and bringing books with you will give them a chance to check them out after, etc.

I think I had like 10 stats total all day cause I spent most of it either at a booktalk or off desk.

I did put holds on all my books I'll be talking about so I can actually come up with something to say about them.

Might even post it on here, if it doesn't suck that is.

Tonight was the hockey game. Our forth loss in a row. This one was sad too cause it was tied 2-2 and the goalie tried to land on the puck to make it stop and it went through his legs with like 3 minutes left.

Gonna have to pick it up cause it's another rivalry game on Valentine's Day.

Speaking of, if your boyfriend buys you flowers what is an appropriate gift to get him?

He's not big on gifts so I was thinking a hockey shirt. Something he could actually wear.

Hm. We'll see.

And that's all I got. It's snowing here like madness. Driving home felt like the Millenium Falcon on hyperdrive.

Yes, I'm a nerd, get used to it.

Song of the Day:

Happy - Pharrell Williams


count the cameos.

legit pre-midnight, holy crap tag in use.

Never rob a bank across from a diner with the best donuts in three counties

Actually accomplished a lot at work today. Stocked all my supplies, did a bunch of Summer Reading stuff, added more to my list of innovative library projects for the library's Strategic Plan...feeling better about it now, but more on that tomorrow.

After work headed out to see the boyfriend. Dinner and then we watched 2 Guns.



Scale of Awesome says 6/10. It had its moments. I liked the Marky Mark/Denzel combo, they were good as partners.

I forgot to mention earlier this week that the boyfriend introduced me to Heavyweights.

"I'm feeling skinny Tony."

Has anyone else seen this besides him?



Judd Apatow before he was, you know, Judd Apatow.

It's basically Dodgeball obnoxious fitness nut Ben Stiller but about 20 years ago and instead of trying to take over a gym, he took over a fat camp to turn it into a money-making infomercial.

Lars was my favorite.



"don't pee in the water...don't drink the water he peed in it!"

Alright, I should crash. Training a practicum student tomorrow which means I need to get more than the 3 hours of sleep that I got last night.

Plus Homey-G-Wigger is coming to town. Gonna jam at the library for a while before we hit the town.

Clip of the Day:

Weekend Update interview with Olya Povlatsky


one of my favorite weekend updates ever. loving kate mckinnon.

and i'm out.


they try to make me go to rehab and i say is it warm?

It's cold out and I'm not wearing pants, where are you?

Huzzah for a day off.

Slept in, it was fabulous.

Watched a ton of my DVR'd X Games - winter edition, go Kelly Clark!

Did a ton of laundry - and folded most of it...

Did a ton of editing - and am loving it.

And played a ton of Lords of the Realm 2 - just cause I could. Made it to level three then looked up and realized it was 11:30 and I should probably go to bed.

See, I didn't think I was one of those gamers that would play stuff like that for hours and not even realize it, but then I found that game and it just never ends.

Blame my brother, he's the one that gave it to me in the first place.

So I was semi-productive, right?

Oh and I watched 2 episodes of Hollywood Game Night - holy crap Angie Harmon is competitive... - and then of course The Blacklist - intensity man.

So I'm boring, and I'm sorry. I'll be more exciting tomorrow cause it's date night.

Today was just too cold to do anything.

Oh and I finally set up my fancy new coffee maker. It's fantastic. The only problem is now I have three - yes three coffeemakers. They all work, I just don't know what to do with them.

Guess I could have a coffee taste-off.

With like 10 of my friends, cause they each make a ton.

Yes "ton" is the word of the day. Pretty much every day of my life cause there's always a ton of things going on and it seems the only word worthy to capture that amount specifically.

I guess there are others.

Massive.

Large.

Mahoosive.

Oh, and I wrote thank you notes to the professors who wrote me recommendation letters for grad school.

I don't know why mahoosive made me think of that.

Well, it went: Mahoosive.

Moose.

Gazelles.

Gazelle swagger.

Fiction Writing.

ZH.

Long story.

I realize I'm making no sense.

Sorry.

I think it's all the caffeine from the new coffeemaker.

Or I'm just losing my mind, I did go outside in shorts today to take the trash out.

Which would be fine but it's like 10 degrees out.

But I'm an idiot like that. College classmates used to yell at me cause I would never wear coats, just hoodies, and then Sketch would be like, um, yeah. Have you ever met her before?

"It's cold out and I'm not wearing pants, where are you?"

Shorts. I was wearing shorts. They're not pants, but it came out wrong.

Speaking of Sketch, it's her birthday today. So in honor of that I shall re-post two of my favorite Sketch-centric Sketch and Edit's in her honor. Cause I can. And let's face it this post was going nowhere anyway.

Originally posted here and here. Should really make an inventory post for these things. Here's links to this particular storyline if you get lost.

First was this: Sketch Gets Some Flowers
Next was this: Sketch and Edit Buy Some Plants
Code reference comes from here: Sketch and Edit Cook a Turkey

Sketch Meets the Parents
*Sketch enters front door and slams it*
Sketch – “Would someone please tell me what is up with guys?!”
Edit from couch – “You don't really expect me to have an answer to that do you?”
S – “He wants me to meet his mother.”
E – “What?!”
S – “Yeah.”
E – “I didn’t know it was that serious!”
S – “Neither did I!”
E – “When?”
S – “Now, tonight, I gotta go get ready.”
E – “You’re shaking!”
S – “I’m meeting the parents! Who meets the parents on the third date?!”
E – “A mama’s boy?”
S – “But seriously? His mother? Seriously?”
E – “Where does she live?”
S – “Over on Elm Street.”
E – “Ah, suburbia, where they tear down the trees then name streets after them.”
S – “I gotta find something to wear, come on.” *Edit jumps off couch and follows Sketch upstairs*
E – “You’re asking me for fashion advice? Really?”
S – “You’re my only option.”
E – “Good point.”
*Sketch goes into closet while Edit sits on bed*
Sketch returns with dress – “What do you think of this dress?”
E – “Ummm, stick some candles in it and make a wish?”
S – “Bad, got it. Moving on.” *goes back into closet and yells* “Why am I doing this again?”
E – “I don’t know, some plantman-induced psychosis?”
*Sketch re-enters in dress*
E – “Oh, don’t even try using the laser vision on me with that dress on.”
S – “Bad?”
E – “It’s…interesting.”
S – “Interesting as in not pretty. Got it.” *goes back into closet and yells* “But seriously, why am I doing this?”
E – “Love is a damn crazy thing.”
S – “Is it really?”
E – “I don’t know, that’s what my college roommate told me when she was drunk on her 21st birthday and I had to take care of her.”
S – “Point taken.” *returns* “What about this one?”
E – “Much better.”
S – “Okay, makeup.” *move into bathroom across the hall, Edit leans in the hallway* “But, it’s like, he calls me and acts all sweet and asks me out to dinner. So I say yes, clearly stating I have no other plans. Then he drops the bomb. ‘Oh, it’s at my mother’s. So dress nice. Okay, see you at seven!’ CLICK! He hangs up! But what was I supposed to do? I can’t say I have plans when he knows I clearly have no plans. So there was no escape route. But, I like him. I mean, I think I like him. Maybe it will be okay.”
E – “Do you need me for this conversation?”
S – “Maybe she won’t be this horrible horrible bitch that I can imagine her being because her son is such a jerk.”
E – “And yet you continue to date him.”
S – “Well, not really.”
E – “You’re meeting his mother! That’s like the definition of dating!”
S – “You’re really not helping my nerves here.” *turns away from mirror* “What do you think?”
E – “Hot.”
S – “But not like slutty. Cause that would be bad.”
E – “Nope, not slutty enough to be a hoe yet not nun-like enough to be celibate.”
S – “Um, thanks?” *Sketch starts downstairs Edit follows*
E – “So, what is plant man’s real name anyway?”
S – “No.”
E – “He’s Chinese? Is that his first or last?”
S – “Absolutely not, cause you’ll run a background check or hack into his computer. No!”
E – “Oh come on! How am I supposed to be petty and judgmental without having all the facts?”
*Sketch glares*
E – “What?”
S – “I’m trying to imagine you with less personality.”
Edit grins – “How’s that working for you?”
S – “Kiss it.”
E – “Suck it!” *sketch opens door* “Good luck!”
S – “Watch out for the code!” *closes door, Edit crashes on couch with phone*


A Nightmare on Elm Street aka Sketch Uses the Code
*Edit’s phone beeps*
Text message from Sketch: “as;dflkjasfdlparlay”
*Edit dials*
*Sketch’s phone rings at dinner table, Mother glares*
Edit – “Curses, King Henry has cut off my head!”
S – “I have to take this, excuse me.” *goes outside while Edit rambles*
E – “You need to come home because I am decapitated. And even though I can still talk it is, in fact, an emergency and I need you to come and drive me to the hospital. Now. You need to come now, there’s blood all over the couch and I’m hungry and I can’t eat without a head because I can’t see the food to eat it and I don’t have a mouth to put it in and then there will be no food because I have no head so then I will die, like actually die and…”
S – “We’re clear, I’m outside. Are you watching The Tudors again?”
E – “Yep. Bad?”
S – “You know Hitler?”
E – “Not on a first name basis, but yes, I’m familiar with him.”
S – “Imagine him with long brown hair staring at you while you’re trying to eat a salad.”
E – “Is this with or without the mustache?”
S – “You need to come get me.”
E – “You don’t think they’re going to see through that?”
S – “I know. I hate you.”
E – “You like this guy right?”
S – “I’m eating dinner with his mother, I think that’s a definite sign.”
E – “Well, it’s not like you had much choice in the matter, but you seem to like the guy and you glow when you come home and you’re all happy giddy Sketch all the time. He seems worth all this and you don’t want to throw that away because you can’t stand to be in the same room with his mother for more than an hour, do you?”
S – “No.”
E – “So just finish the salad-”
S – “But she’s staring at me!”
E – “Then stare back!”
S – “What if her jaw unhinges and she bites off my head?”
E – “Well, then we’re screwed cause I’m already decapitated.”
S – “Who will drive us to the hospital?”
E – “Plantman?”
S – “Maybe.”
E – “Oh, is he not on our side anymore?”
S – “Undetermined. But he can’t think it’s going well, right? I mean, when your mother grills your dates about their personal lives and finds a way to make every answer sound like they’re a hillbilly with no hope or future do you think it’s going well?”
E – “Don’t know, haven’t really had a relationship that’s lasted longer than a mento so there’s been no need for introductions.”
S – “That’s cause you’re a commitment-phobe.”
E – “Look who’s talking.”
S – “Hey, I’m here aren’t I?”
E – “Yes, but you don’t want to be. Just breathe, go back inside, finish the salad and say it’s a school night so you need to get back to work on lesson plans. Which it is, and you do. I’ll see you when you get home.”
S – “If I don’t jump out on the interstate first.”
E – “Don’t jump out on the interstate – drive a motorcycle and get someone to door you, it’s a much better way to go.”
S – “Alright. I’m going back in. Thanks.”
E – “Anytime. By the way, was that a ‘parlay’ at the end of that text?”
S – “I thought it was fitting.”
E – “I think we found our new codeword.”

BTW that phone call actually happened. My college roommate coded me and I responded with a decapitated rambling.

It was quite fascinating really.

Alright, that's all I got. I hope you all had an awesome Monday.

Music and I'm out.

Follow Your Arrow - Kacey Musgraves


not bad.

Then I got sober and two robots called me and asked me to make an album.

The Stars are off their roll. We lost again last night vs. Des Moines. It was wildly depressing and we need to pick it up or we're not gonna make the playoffs.

It's weird, we can beat the number one team in the league but then we lose to everyone else.

Granted it is Omaha and it's a rivalry thing.

Oh well, Lampasso was awesome again, and even made the paper.


Today was good. Had lots of visitors at the library.

Second Sister came to pick up her painting and brought Bek Kate and Tessa Jo. We jammed in the kids area on my break. They liked the puzzles and felt board.

Tessa ran to me, I felt special.

I want one.

Just not right now.

Then later the boyfriend stopped by to drop off my keys before heading out.

I always feel bad waking him up cause he has to work nights. Blah.

Hopefully not forever, but it's better than second.

After that it was back to awards season.

Grammy Highlights:

-Could anyone understand the words coming out of Beyonce or Jay Z's mouths? It was like Ozzie up there.
And then Ozzie was up there...and needed subtitles.

-People playing the hat drinking game at home got hammered because of Pharrell, for serious. Was he supposed to be a mountie? It looked more like Only Pharrell Williams Can Prevent Forest Fires.

-Why was Steve Coogan at the Grammys? And why was his speech the best of the night? "Two of the Beatles or all of the Jonas Brothers..." "It's hard out there for a pimp. It's not too easy for the hookers, either." Not sure why Julia Roberts was there either, but she is America's Sweetheart so I guess she's allowed to be at any American award show she pleases.

-Robin Thicke still looks like a pedophile even when he's surrounded by all of Chicago.

-Lorde rocks, just not at public speaking.

-Jamie Foxx is the worst presenter ever. He hit on Beyonce all through his speech forgetting entirely about the other artists up for the award.

-Steven Tyler and Taylor Swift's dance moves. They should go on tour. Just for their moves alone. Although I did love him singing to Smokey Robinson and getting the crowd into it. That was cool.

-As much as I love classic country, Kris and Willie looked a bit out of their element onstage tonight.

-Daft Punk Domination. I wish the robots would have talked, though Pharrell was amusing speaking for them.

-Snape on Twitter - yes, Professor Snape has a Twitter account and he's hilarious - was concerned about Katy Perry being surrounded by Dementors on stage. He also congratulated Bruno Mars, expressing his hope that one day he'll finally figure out why someone was throwing grenades at his girl, and wishes that he could have cue music to make people shut up.

Which I agree with, that would be awesome.

Now I'm on to the X Games. Stoked to watch them on my day off.

Song of the Night:

This was epic.

Get Lucky - Daft Punk, Pharrell and Stevie Wonder


see what i mean about forest fires? love the mashup elements.

everyone in the crowd was into it, i loved it.

legit pre-midnight, holy crap tag in use.

You must be the dream I've been dreaming of.

The boyfriend and I went to see Lone Survival tonight.



Before you ask yes, that is Alexander Ludwig aka Cato from the Hunger Games. That speech is much longer in the movie and it immediately follows him doing the Napoleon Dynamite dance, song included.

That was literally the only funny part of the entire movie. The boyfriend said it was probably the goriest war movie he's ever seen. Definitely mine as well, there were so many gross bloody parts that I just literally couldn't watch. And just when you think it's done there's more.

Scale of Awesome says 7/10. It was good, but nothing I want to ever see again.

Kind of like Zero Dark Thirty but with much more blood and bones sticking out of places they're not supposed to be sticking out of.

Blah.

That's pretty much the highlight of today. Other than sleeping in of course. Watched some more Person of Interest, did some laundry.

Now I'm on to the Winter X-Games. Last night it was snowmobile freestyle.

Yes, apparently that is a thing. It's a lot like BMX, except instead of a bike doing flips it's a 450 pound snowmobile.

Stupid idea, but interesting to watch.

Tonight is snowboarding, my favorite. Super excited for the Olympics.

Alright, music and I'm out.

Long day tomorrow.

It Must Be Love - Alan Jackson


classic.

oh what a feeling, it must be love.

Walk west 'til your hat floats.

It's kind of like saying "take a long walk off a short pier" but better.

And apparently it's a song by The Henry's.

Though not available through YouTube or that would be the song of the day.

Pretty much sums up my day.

Received my first major assignment after getting my Master's.

They're writing a new Strategic Plan and have enlisted my help, along with a few other coworkers throughout the system.

Basically we're researching innovative libraries and then everyone is sending myself and Katie images and stories to put into a powerpoint to impress the stakeholders.

Powerpoints I can handle, I'm actually pretty good at making them.

It's the presentation part that scares the crap out of me.

Keyword: Stakeholders.

No pressure.

I hate public speaking.

I'm terrified about my upcoming booktalk in front of 20 old ladies, so you can only imagine how I feel about this one.

Thankfully I'll have people with me.

Oh well, plenty of time to freak about that. Let's think about something different.

Queen of the Known Universe and I talked life motto's today.

What is one simple phrase that sums up your life?

Like, if you were to write a memoir what would the title be?

I joked with the Reference Queen a while ago because every day she wears Birkenstocks so hers could be called "And I did it all in Birkenstocks."

One of my classmates, and now coworkers and I joked during class once about her working at a counseling center and she named hers "I Chase Naked People."

Through the years I've come up with quite a few and am still debating my best option.

Here are my choices so far:
-Black in the Crevices
-I'm just coloring in the chicken feathers
-Well, that's something to scrapbook
-Just wave
-Social life in progress...
-At least the baby stopped crying
-I’m just not hooked on your phonics
-That's a second Friends reference for those of you counting.
-Because everyone should have someone to scream at in a giant elephant.
-The Sideways Hat Theory
-I live my life behind the tab
and of course
-My Life in Closed Captions

Each has a story of its own.

Black in the Crevices is one of my favorites because it came purely by accident. Second Sister was getting me ready for my job interview, because apparently I couldn't be trusted to dress myself, and she said that my black nail polish was unprofessional or inappropriate or something so she attacked it with polish removal. Then she got mad because she couldn't get it all off. "There's still black in the crevices!" So I covered it with some silver. Because that's who I am. Still there, like the black, but hidden by the air of confident silver that enables me to do my job. How's that for psychology crap? Blame it on the Sociology minor. Took too many Behavioral Sciences classes in college. And, she may have been right, I did get that job. Well, jobs.

I'm just coloring in the chicken feathers was a Slim Shady reference. She was avoiding reacting to something by sitting and coloring a chicken and it made for a good life motto. Cause we do we do in life really that isn't just coloring in the chicken feathers?

That's something to scrapbook is another one of my favorites cause it makes me laugh. And that's its purpose. I say it when something horrible happens in an effort to get past it.

Just Wave was an Oldest Sister's invention. When she got caught riding on the back of some guy's motorcycle in high school after being told not to ride with him she decided that instead of hiding from Mom and Dad she would just wave instead.

Social life in progress... was a school theme. I attempted to be social while still being overloaded with homework and work work.

At least the baby stopped crying was a Homey-G-Wigger original. We went to see a movie - I think it was the last Harry Potter - and there was this baby there and it crying the entire time. And then we were sitting in the back toward the stairs to the balcony and there was a constant stampede of super loud people going up and down. So mid-stampede she leaned over and goes "at least the baby stopped crying."

I'm just not hooked on your phonics is a line from one of Ke$ha's lessen known songs, but I love it and say it repeatedly when surrounded by idiots.

That's a second (or third) Friends reference for those of you counting. When you're as big of a Friends nerd as I am you quote it constantly and catch on when other people quote it. But every once in a while you have to keep count because when you're on a roll you're on a roll.

Because everyone should have someone to scream at in a giant elephant is a Moulin Rouge reference. I was obsessed with that movie in high school and always wished I would one day have someone of my own to scream at in a giant elephant.

The Sideways Hat Theory and Living Life Behind the Tab are both Camp J references. The first is my tradition during registration. I wear my hat sideways and the parents with concerns walk straight past me cause I look like a junior counselor. It's all fun and dandy until they run into an adult who then redirects them back to me in the first place.

I Live My Life Behind the Tab is because we have these song books in binders and there is a tab between the sacred songs and the silly songs. And every once in a while in life it's better to be silly than serious.

My Life in Closed Captions is the title of this blog because it was fitting at the time, and it still seems to fit.

What do you think is best? I'm leaning towards Black in the Crevices, Life in Closed Captions, or That's Something to Scrapbook.

Hm....Maybe a combination of the three.

Perhaps this blog is just a big lead-in to me writing my memoirs. Though that would mean my life would need to be much more exciting so I would have stuff to include.

Though knowing me the format of my memoirs would be something close to Sketch and Edit's format where it's just dialogue. I'll have to work on that.

Song of the Day:

Say Something - A Great Big World & Xtina


i'm not sure how i haven't posted this yet, i love it. another life motto for you.

Alright, that's all I got for today. Off tomorrow - huzzah!! Gonna sleep in, clean, do some laundry, and hopefully see the boyfriend at some point.

Hope you all have rockstar weekends.

It's a green, it's a green, it's a green green light...

So weird hearing Beth Riesgraf call someone else Parker.

Even if she did preface it with Ranger.

Anyone else watching Killer Women?

Just got caught up.

She's the reason I DVR'd it in the first place. Though it is interesting watching Carla from Burn Notice play on Team Justice.

aka the good guys.

She was kind of a bitch on Burn Notice.


Today's a good day cause work flew by and now I'm back to editing.

One of my life's true joys. Writing, editing, the whole process. As long as it isn't homework that is.

I'm a nerd, but I'm not that big of a nerd.

I actually just took a break to eat and watch Killer Women but I'm headed back to the story after I post.

It's fun playing editor because you're a part of the story, but it's still able to shock you cause you don't know what's coming.

Nerd.

Get used to it.

The only problem with editing is that it gives me motivation to go back to my old stuff.

And then I get distracted.

Priorities.

I will finish that damn apartment story at some point or another.

go here.

The sad thing about that list that out of the 10 only Jax is finished.

And that's cause it was for an assignment.

Yes, I wrote about an assassin for an assignment.

And I passed.

Take that world.

To be fair Sketch and Edit are never ending.

And I should really send Sketch the unpublished ones cause I have lots.

Well, I guess I could change Life of a Teenage Writer, stick Kate in an apartment instead of a house and use that....

But that would be cheating.

Hmmm....

Just need to actually set aside time and work on it.

But gotta finish editing first.

So, music and I'm off.

Just cause I can and they're stuck in my head:

Bright Lights Bigger City/Magic - Treblemakers



Price Tag/Don't Forget About Me - Barden Bellas


looking forward to the sequel.

legit pre-midnight post, holy crap tag in use.

oo, apparently christina ricci is doing a lizzie borden movie on lifetime. she and jimmy kimmel are arguing if she's guilty or not. apparently his book saying she's innocent trumps her online research saying she's guilty.

way to go books.

okay last clip i promise.



hysterical. love it. new song to sing while driving.

"Beth De Woodi, the sands of time are trickling through my hourglass." "Patsy Stone, I hope you're wearing thick pants!" "Edina Monsoon, stand on the bloody bin bag!"

Had an AbFab flashback today and had to pull out my DVDs to watch this episode.

This part is my favorite of the whole series.

Menopausal's Anonymous


If you've seen it you're well-versed in the characters and know what's going on. If not you're missing out on life and should check it out. Basically, Patsy (the blonde) breaks her arm and Saffy (the daughter) gets obsessed with making sure her mother Eddy (the brunette) and Patsy are educated about Menopause and brings in this group of random strangers.

And now it's going to be made into a movie, I'm stoked! But apparently Jennifer Saunders (Eddy) is a procrastinator so who knows how long that'll take. But I'd rather wait for a good one than sit through a fastly written flop.



she tried to crowd surf and the tide went out. i used that in a sketch and edit at one point.

Anyway, today wasn't all about AbFab. I spent the last couple days at the farm. Slept in today - after staying up 'til like 3, long story - then lunch with the fam. Abby Cadabra was there for a while. She's cute stuff.

Then I headed back, ran to Target to pick up a picture for Second Sister. Massive. The guy at the checkout line gave me the look like, "are you going to be able to fit that in your car?" But I did. And now it's jamming out in my hallway.

Tonight was hockey. Why is it that every game we go to ends in overtime or a shootout?

I mean, it makes for a good game, but it gives me a heart attack every time.

We did have a good shootout record, but the past two times we lost.

And sad day cause we tied so it went into sudden death shootout.

I know, there's just more, it never just ends.

Tonight we used our backup goalie the whole game. He made have earned a starting spot, he did pretty great.

After our starter played like crap last week.

Sad day, cause I like him a lot.

And speaking of things I like a lot, I caved and bought a jersey.

So now I can go in style.

And that was my day. Tomorrow's back to work so I should crash.

Song of the Day:

This Wheel's on Fire - The Band


yes, it's the theme song, get over it. i love it.

legit pre-midnight, holy crap tag in use.

This is geopolitics, not couples therapy.

So apparently Omaha is going to the Superbowl.

Which makes me feel obligated to cheer for the Broncos.

If that makes sense.

Apparently he calls the play "Omaha" a lot and people from Nebraska are going nuts and giving a bunch of money to charity every time he yells it.

It's kind of a big deal.

Not that I was big fan of Seattle, but I can honestly say I have never before cheered for the Broncos and it will be a totally new experience.

Broncos were my ex's team, if you couldn't figure that out.

I was always more of a Titans girl, but they sucked it up this year so they had no chance.

Current boyfriend really doesn't give a crap about pro football, or college really just the Huskers, so I don't even know if we'll watch it. We did last year for the commercials.

But I'm pretty sure at least 70% of the viewers only do watch it for the commercials.

Don't give me that look, you're probably one of them.

Anyway, it'll be interesting for sure.

And I guess Nebraska was gonna be featured anyway since we made that Pepsi commercial.



Look it's Bruce Lee.

Or Lee Brice, sorry Sketch.

I think if I say it enough times she'll get mad enough to drive all the way down here just to smack me.

From Illinois.

Anyway, they filmed it here in like 15 degree weather so... looking forward to seeing that finished product.

Whatever, what else?

I'm jamming at the farmhouse. Going back at some point tomorrow cause we got the hockey game tomorrow night.

Slept in this morning, ate good food, watched some TV, just jammed out. It was nice to get away from everything for a couple of days.

Mom and I watched some Castle, Major Crimes, and Hollywood Game Night.

I about had a heart attack when I realized both Alyssa Milano and Paget Brewster were on in the same episode, though on opposing teams. Which sucked. Alyssa won, btw. And next week is Angie Harmon. Which means my screams will be louder and more frequent. Perhaps I should prepare the neighbors.

I'm a nerd, get used to it.

And then Lola Glaudini - aka Elle Greenaway - was on Castle, another Criminal Minds alum. Gotta love it. Though I guess Paget is coming back for the 200th cause JJ got kidnapped. Which means I may have to actually watch that one.

I'm way behind.

But I was lazy today. To be fair I was more active yesterday. Work then out with the boyfriend. We saw Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit.



It was alright. Interesting seeing the director play the bad guy. Scale of Awesome says 6/10. It would have been better if the guy behind us stopped talking and the guy in front of us got off Facebook.

For serious.

That's really all I remember about yesterday.

No wait, the cops were called cause of a drunk guy.

And this other guy continues to follow me around.

More on that later.

I'm zonked. Gonna crash. Hope you all had an awesome holiday.

Song of the Day:

Your Woman - White Town


one of my favorite songs from the 90's. which makes me sad cause the boyfriend had never heard of it. i can't believe i haven't posted this recently, i've heard it over and over.

if you don't know, become educated, it is wicked.

and i'm out.

Oh, did anyone watch SNL? Loving the new girl! Drake wasn't bad either.

How many librarians does it take to start the wave?

Apparently more than three, cause it didn't catch on when we tried it.

Granted we were in a room filled with people double my age.

At least.

And they weren't really paying attention to us anyway.

I'll get there.

Today was incredibly dead at the library, but went surprisingly fast.

I spent most of the day working on TAB stuff and learning random facts about the Olympics.

Did you know General Patton competed in the Olympics? Apparently in ancient Olympia married women weren't allowed to watch cause they weren't pure and could be killed in caught. There's more but I'll save them for later.

I think the reason it went so fast was because we were all so excited for what came after.

I had a hot date.

With Queen of the Known Universe.

That's right, made fun of me all day, then all night. Didn't even buy me supper.

Worst first date ever.

Joking of course, we had fun. Got supper and then hit up Info-Man's play.

Barefoot in the Park.

Excellence in the making.

He stole every scene, and I'm not saying that cause I'm bias.

Okay, I am bias, but really, he did steal every scene.

The whole cast was great though, even the minor roles.

"I feel like we've died and gone to heaven - only we had to climb up."

I was very proud.

We all were. It was like library-central, we had a whole section.

I joked that we should have made signs to hold up at intermission that said "Go Info-Man!" That's when we attempted the wave but failed.

But that would be have been embarrassing and unprofessional...which we never are...at work or after it...

Anyway, it's a day for drama cause now I get to watch the SAG Awards.

Here are a few of my favorite moments:

Lupita Nyong'o: "Dad, do you know Brad Pitt? I'm going to be in a movie with him."
Dad: "I don't know him personally, but I'm glad you got a job."

Julia Louis-Dreyfus's speech.

Totally Veep.

Ty Burrell

Modern Family is sweeping it man.

Huzzah for Helen Mirren.

Sasha Alexander as a presenter. Love her.

Bryan Cranston's "I won a SAAAAAG AWAAAAARD"

Wait, Mr. Dursley died?!

Cate again. Her speeches are always so great.

Gonna have to see that movie.

American Hustle gets best cast. Awesomeness.

Alright, song of the day and I'm out.

You Hear a Song - Cassadee Pope


still alive and kickin'

out.

"Six days does not a week make."

You've got a new horizon it's ephemeral style, a melancholy town where we never smile.

So I was hoping for a good game, but not that good of one.

Bubby and his school sang the national anthem. I would have thought it was pretty cool, but of course the boys hated it.

I could hear him cause his voice is lower than the other kids.

I'm guessing he's looking forward to high school so he doesn't have to do these kinds of things anymore.

Stars were up 3-0 for most of the game, my favorite guy even scored one - go Lampasso - but then Chicago scored 3 in a row, tied it up, and beat us in the shoot out.

They made 2 in the shootout, we couldn't even make 1.

Something must have happened with our goalie mid-second period cause it was all downhill for him from there.

The bad part is that the other team was like 0-10, but then a couple weeks ago they started winning and now that's like 5 in a row.

So a comeback story for sure.

Ugh, hockey drama.

I didn't listen to the aftershow, it was too depressing.

Sorry. You don't care. I get that. But I have grown to love them. But I guess that's what happens when you buy your boyfriend season tickets.

The rest of today was good.

Slept in, ran some errands, stocked up on some groceries, jammed out with Carter, and started Person of Interest.

Taking a short break from The Closer.

This always happens, I want to watch a show all the way through and I get distracted by another.

Anyway, Person of Interest.



So far, so good.

You should check it out...if the library ever purchases it. I've requested it for years but it has yet to go for it so I gave up and bought it. Same thing happened with Arrow. Week after I get it, the library did.

I'll time this one too.

And that's all I got for today.

Back to work tomorrow.

Oh, I met another neighbor.

Remember how I only meet them is really weird circumstances? Today was another. I was taking out the trash and I had this giant box that I was gonna toss.

This chick walks down the hall: Are you gonna throw that box away?
Me: Um, yeah?
Chick: I'll take it.
Me: Um, okay?
*walks off with box*
Me: Um, okay?

Okay, now that's all I got.

Music and I'm out.

Feel Good Inc - Gorillaz


miss this song. all of theirs actually, where did they go?!

i remember an awesome cover of this I ran across a while ago where a chick plays it all herself. see if i can find it...

HA!

Cover by Josie Charlwood


wicked.

legit pre-midnight post, holy crap tag in use.

"What are you doing?" "Being nice." "You're not nice. And you're on duty." "Well, give me the afternoon off."

Today...

More supplies fun.

Made up a spreadsheet so everyone knows where to find stuff.

Yes, that has become my life.

Isn't it exciting?

I feel stuck.

There's so many changes being made and I don't know what to think about them.

Am I actually happy there?

Do I want to stay?

I have the degree, should I be looking around for other jobs?

Everyone keeps telling me to.

I don't know. Maybe it's just been one of those weeks.

I'm sure it'll be fine.

I like the people, I like the patrons - well most of them - I like the location, I don't mind the hours so I guess I'm happy.

I have TAB.

They make me happy.

It just sucks that all the girls my own age bailed on me. But that's okay, I still have friends there.

In fact, the New Guy and I talked about library staff hitting up Vegas sometime for a conference.

That'd be awesome. I can see us all walking the strip, playing craps, seeing shows.

It's making me look forward to the boyfriend and I's upcoming vacation.

Going to see Pentatonix and that's about all we have planned so far.

We'll probably do some gambling, but not a lot. Last time we went there the majority of our time was spent walking the strip, and it was a lot of fun.

Though this year I'll attempt to keep everything in my pockets.

Or get one of those cheesy fanny packs.

Apparently Drew loves them, who knew?

I'm back on the Closer. Up to season two.



Remember how I'm a nerd?

Anyway, I've got that and hockey to entertain me for the next 24 hours.

Bubby's singing the national anthem at tomorrow's game. Well, his school is. It always amuses me cause the boys always look like they're in pain whenever they're forced to do anything like this in front of people.

Reminds me of my directing musicals days.

Did I mention that? Used to help out at my old grade school. We did plays every year and they were awesome. Drug my college friends out to watch them and they would always laugh because my boys always looked like they were the worst thing in the world.

But the girls and all the younger kids loved them.

And the boys had fun too, it's just day of they had to be cool.

I miss those days.

Part of the reason I'm excited that TAB's gonna start filming a web series to promote library services. Get to write and direct every month. Huzzah.

Maybe that will bring the fun back.

Let's hope so.

Alright, music and I'm out.

Who I Am - Danielle Bradbery


you cried, don't even lie.

ironic song choice for the post, i'm aware. but it was stuck in my head all day.

legit pre-midnight, holy crap tag in use.

Why don't you ever just call me and say "I'm going to be running around today and while I'm out I might be ruining your life."

Post #1006

Watching The Closer.

Season one.

Looks like love.

I love that I brought that back in the finale.

Along with her purse and all that candy.

I miss this show. Thankfully Major Crimes has a very similar feel, and most of the major characters.

Minus Chief Johnson of course.

and Gabriel.

and Pope.

I wonder if they'll bring them back for the trial?

That seems to never ever happen...

Maybe next season.

Today was good.

Bit of a roller coaster, we were swamped at times and dead at others.

I did get all my supplies up on the shelves I hung with the aide yesterday. Huzzah. And added all the stuff from the workroom cabinet. So now the cabinet is just filled with stuff specific to that room.

I know it sounds boring to you but it was very exciting to me. Especially cause I got to get rid of a bunch of stuff.

And when I say "get rid of" that actually means took them upstairs to the Supplies Queen to be redistributed.

The ladies on three were very excited to go through the stuff.

There's only one guy on the floor, and he was less than enthused. Or busy. Probably busy.

I just realized he's the only guy up there now cause the other one, our previous AD, left for Wisconsin like years ago.

Huh.

Where was I?

Right, supplies, cleaning was fun.

And speaking of rearranging our upstairs desk arrangement is completely changed as well.

Not my doing.

I'm not a fan of change.

Or haven't you noticed?

I guess we'll get used to it.

And that was my day.

I'm zonked, gonna crash...after watching more of the Closer that is.



This is a crime scene ya'll.

Music.

Anything You Can Do - Tallulah Bankhead and Marlene Dietrich


Joan Crawford vs. Bette Davis as sung by one of my favorites and her "rival". Step aside buster.

legit pre-midnight, holy crap tag in use.

"Responstible is not a word!" "We made it up." "Well, un-make it up." *hides music to Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.*

I got to hang shelves at work today, which normally is easy, but this time the support beams were off cause one was upside down.

I didn't hang those.

No levels to be found, and I didn't have enough time - or motivation - to dig through the basement backroom so Bosslady's like, "I have an app for that." Which led to me downloading a free level app.

Which I will never use again.

So, the question is, do I keep it? On some whim that I will ever need it again?

Or delete it and then find myself lacking a good level if the need arises?

Whatever, I'll leave it and forget about it and then years from now I'll be cleaning out my phone and go, "what the crap?" and think back to this moment.

So the boyfriend and I finally saw Saving Mr. Banks.



Scale of Awesome says 9/10. I loved it. Way better than I expected, though I will never watch it again.

Cause it's depressing. But good. And funny. But still depressing.

I am going to put a hold on Mary Poppins tomorrow at work though.


Two of my favorites came back this week - Blacklist and Castle - along with the season finale of Major Crimes.

All three had their holy crap moments, especially Major Crimes.

*Spoiler Alert*

Love Beckett and Castle's wedding planning, but loved the return of his dad even more. I literally screamed at the TV. Pretty sure the neighbors think I'm crazy.

Blacklist was epic as always. I lost count of how many people Red killed within the hour. I'm still curious about the guy behind it all. He seemed to be his 2nd in command in the episodes he appeared in but we still don't know anything about him.

Major Crimes is done 'til the summer, I'm assuming. Crimony Provenza, that was a hell of a shot. And I love that it tied back to the comedy episode with him and the glasses. That was excellent. Plus Jeri Ryan guest starred as the obnoxious lawyer. aka Tara Cole from Leverage. I'm a fan. Even though the shot was epic my favorite part of the episode was probably during the trial when he got those letters entered as evidence. Busted.

Although now that it's done for the season I feel like starting the Closer from the beginning and working my way through to Major Crimes. By the time I finish it'll be on again...

Yes, I'm a nerd. But you knew that already.

Alright, that's all I got. On to the music and I'm out.

Somebody Like You - Tonic Sol-Fa


saw these guys live in high school at choralfest, they were excellent.

"It's the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age."

Saturday:

Slept in. It was glorious. Then dinner with the parents, stopped by to see Grams, and unpacked the rest of my Christmas presents that Mom and Dad brought up.

After that it was all hockey. The boyfriend and I are on a roll. Every game we've gone to they've won in super close matches. Last night we played Fargo, won in a shootout, it was awesome. We were down to 3 players plus goalie in overtime when they were full force, I was crazy nervous. The game was great, except for the group of kids sitting next to us slamming chairs and screaming repeatedly. The mother was doing nothing to stop it. My thing is, if you're going to take a kid to a game then they should be old enough to understand it. Unless you're teaching them the game, like my brother takes my nephew to football games. That counts too. These kids had no interest in the game whatsoever and it was super obnoxious. But thankfully, we won so that cancelled it all out.

Oh and some guy proposed. Right after his girlfriend won a gift certificate to Super Saver. Though she seemed more excited about the gift certificate than the ring. There was no cheering at all, they just walked off afterward. Poor guy, I thought it was romantic.

Sunday: 
This morning was church, went out to eat with Oldest Sister and Bubby, then we came back and were lazy with the Globes and Olympic prep. I'm so excited for February, I'm such a nerd.

Notes from the Globes

Things I liked:
-Tina and Amy rocked it. I wish they would have been on stage even more. Their opening monologue was definitely my favorite part.

"Because this is Hollywood and if something kind of works then they'll just keep doing it until everyone hates it."

"Explosion at the Wig Factory" = alternate title for American Hustle

"It's the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age."

"He lost 45 pounds, or what actresses call being in a movie."

"You may know Andy from his hit song I'm on a Boat which this year was adapted into the Tom Hanks' film Captain Phillips."

They had some great shoutouts. Poor Tam Honks. He just looked so confused every time he was on screen.

And Matt Damon. "It's me the Garbage Man." But they handled it very well.

Also, Randy. "Do you want to go live with your father?!" "I can't you won't tell me who it is!" Oh my god, I love Amy and Tiny's impressions, especially when she's on stage with Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon. "Her mother is the Closer!" Sosie looks a bit different than she did on The Closer.

-Julia Louis-Dreyfus switching sides mid-way through the show...and Reese Witherspoon's selfie cameo, that was great.

-J-Law made for a great start with best supporting actress - brutally honest as always. "I actually did watch all the movies that year - not all of them, but you know what I mean."

-Robert Downey Jr's speech. "Let's see how this plays out for me."

He was just one of the many Avengers that presented, also on stage were Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, and Mark Ruffalo. And I'm sure Scarlett was in the audience since Her was up for so many awards.

-Drunken Emma Thompson.

Snape tweeted "Is Professor Trelawney drunk?!" Loved it. He also commented on Emma Watson on stage. "10 Points for Gryffindor."

-Melissa McCarthy as Matt Damon. or Melissa McCarthy as anyone really.

-Michael Douglas to actual Matt Damon: "The only reason you're not here is I had more sequins."

-Alfonso Cuaron: "Thank you for not quitting when I said Sandra I'm going to give you herpes, when I really meant Sandra I'm going to give you an earpiece."

-Drew's "sh, I get sent out wrong, I'm sorry." Love that she got to announce best picture. Awesomeness.

-Cate Blanchett's speech was probably my favorite of all the acceptance speeches.

stick with it 'til the end.

-Matthew McConaughey 's "alright, alright, alright." I'd expect nothing less.

-Steve McQueen calling Sarah Paulson the Bette Davis of America.

Things I didn't like:
-What the hell was up with Jacqueline Bisset? It took 20 minutes for her to get to the stage and then another 30 for her to get off of it. Goes to show that even if you don't think you'll win you should still definitely write a speech. Good god, that was horrible.

-Shut up P-Diddy. No one wants to hear you talk in the background.

-Who would have thought that Bono would win a Golden Globe? Again?

-Brooklyn 99 beating out Big Bang Theory twice. Actor and Series. Really? I tried one episode and couldn't finish it. It was cute that it was Seth that announced it though. Go SNL.

-I get that you're stubborn, but Woody Allen, if they're giving you a lifetime achievement award like that one you should probably show up to give some sort of a speech. Diane was great though.

and that's all I got so on to the music.

Kickstart My Heart - Motley Crue


just one of many from the game last night. i love it.

and i'm out. legit pre-midnight. holy crap tag in use.

"You look like hell." "I look like college."

Finally watched Man of Steel.



Scale of Awesome says 6/10.

I love comic book movies, but I'm not really a big Superman fan. Plus the fight scenes in this one seemed eternal.

I know they need to be epic, but they ended up just dragging on.

Now I'm on to Lost Girl.

SyFy series.

Reminds me of Blood Ties.

Private Eye, quirky goth sidekick, focus investigations on the supernatural...

But no vampires so far.

Oh, and they're both Canadian series.

Hm.

This one's pretty fun, but I think I liked Blood Ties a little better.

However, I'm only like a disc in so that could change.

I'm so excited for this weekend.

I'm off. And I have no homework or projects hanging over my head so I can legitimately sleep in and watch movies without feeling guilty.

Plus there's a hockey game tomorrow night.

Gonna be awesome.

That's all I got. Don't really remember anything about work.

Other than sending a guy to jail.

Oh yeah.

Dude from the incident yesterday came in and I recognized him so we called the cops who picked him up.

Never boring at the library.


Clip of the Day:

Kenzi-isms


Go Method or Go Home.

She reminds me of the awesomeness that is Allison Scagliotti in Warehouse 13.



yep. definitely a resemblance.

out!

You have failed this city.

Today was just weird.

There are no other words that better describe it.

It started out normal enough. Staff meeting. Worked the lab desk. Went to lunch.

But it was the afternoon that changed all that.

First, I got to scoop snow outside the building.

Master's Degree and all.

No, it was fine, I didn't mind it. I did stuff like that all the time when I was at the home branch, but the problem with doing stuff like that at the work branch is because of our location there are people everywhere.

And these people feel the need to commentate.

Some of them on bicycles, circling the block and on every pass they make fun of you more.

The hour after that was spent playing Mad Scientist in the backroom.

aka mixing chemicals and adding labels to bottles.

Don't worry, it's just cleaning stuff we use to get the gunk off stuff.

After that things got even weirder.

Massive incident report.

Some dude attacked the security guard.

Can't exactly repeat the details, but it was ridiculous.

Cops called and all that.

Girlscout and I had front row seats.

Oh the joys.

Like I said, weird.

So I came home and escaped the weird - minus the robot vacuum running in the background.

I'm pretty sure I got the dumb one.

It vacuums but it runs into everything in the process.

It's actually amusing to watch, but Carter hates it.


I'm back to Arrow. Last disc, after which I'll have to catch the rest online.

It's actually really good, if you haven't watched it you should check it out.



There's a TON of back story that it basically has to spoon feed you, but it's really good.

And that's all I got for today.

Yes, I'm becoming one of those comic book movie/tv show nerds.

The boyfriend likes DC best.

I'm torn, cause Marvel is good too.

Red is one of my favorite movies of all time, but how can you pass by the Avengers?

I like them both. I have enough t-shirts to prove it.

Okay, on to the clip of the day.

I love dumb commercials. Especially when they're narrated.



I miss this show. Used to watch it almost every night in college. Pretty sure Sketch was tired of it, but I loved it. Almost makes me want to order an extended Dish package. Hmm...

Here, maybe these are better.



i'm sorry but 1:28 is epic. and 7:12. and 7:37. and 8:17. and 8:20.

and i'm out.

legit pre-midnight, holy crap tag in use.

"Nope, it's there forever. Like Maggie Smith and her tramp stamp."

Post #1001

Took last night off. Figured you'd heard enough from me the night before.

Yes, it was epic.

But I promise it won't happen again for another 500 posts at least.

A few things you missed:

1. Watched Trance with the boyfriend.



Weird. Weird. Weird. It started out really good and then everything circled back so it was okay, but in the middle it got really really weird. Scale of Awesome says 6/10.

2. Killer Women finally premiered. So excited for the return of Beth Riesgraf. It was weird seeing Carla play the cop instead of the bad guy. Or girl, sorry. I miss Burn Notice already.

3. Jordis Unga now follows me on Twitter.

I know, I freaked. The only problem is that I found out at lunch when I was surrounded by people. I could feel my eyes pop out of my head, it was ridiculous.

For those of you know who don't know, Jordis Unga is wicked awesome. She was on the Voice season two and she was my pick for the winner but she got beat out mid-season.

Here she is on INRX cause my Voice clips aren't working.



Epic.

And her new single is officially out.

So take that world.

4. It snowed like crazy today. Like all day. It was supposed to stop in the morning, then at noon, but it went on until like 3. I like snow, I do, but driving on it sucks.

5. TAB meeting this afternoon. We picked out the teen Summer Reading events for this year and planned out our first web series episode. Maybe I'll post a link when it's published.

6. The People's Choice Awards were on tonight. Sketch and I did some commentating as always. Lots of fun.

Here are some things I learned:

-Not all of those waitresses were female. "Some of me are definitely dudes."

-Ellen Degeneres bakes a hell of a cookie.

-Justin Timberlake thinks putting the dishes in the dishwasher is healthy for your marriage.

-People still watch The Good Wife.

-They're bringing Chuck back but they're calling it Intelligence.

-Beth Behrs can sing. And rap.

-Adam's speech was still my favorite. 3 guesses why.



If you know me you got it in 1.

-Drew loves fanny packs. That is one thing I didn't know about her.

-Sarah Michelle Gellar and Britney Spears somehow majestically have never won a People's Choice Award until tonight. What happened when they were popular the last time?

-Le man, Le myth, LeBlanc has still got it. Unfortunately he couldn't perform his honky-tonk LeBlanc-a-donk cause they were in a rush.

-2 Broke Girls still rock, even when live.

and that's all I got.

on to the music.

Who Needs Sleep - Barenaked Ladies


miss these guys too.

I Almost Do - Taylor Swift


love this one. yeah i know, she's juvenile, whatever, it's a good song.


out. legitimate pre-midnight post, holy crap tag in use.

Post #1000: My Top Library Moments of All Time

That's right, 1000 posts.

Kind of a big deal.

So I debated topics but then it hit me, my top moments at the library of all time.

Well, library system that is since I've worked at two branches.

So, here's a list of my favorite (and not so favorite at the time but now find them amusing) moments since I started back in 2010.

And yes, this post is epically long. Don't worry, you won't have to worry about that again...until post 1500 or 2000 or 2500...

To make it easier to follow I divided them up into categories. They're not really in order of importance, except for the Magnet category. That one is.

Magnet Moments
1. Likes Ass or Jazz
-I have a problem at work. I seem to attract a serious amount of creepers. Slim Shady called me a magnet once and it stuck. "Likes Ass or Jazz" is my number one magnet moment. It goes as follows: I helped a guy find sheet music and asked "can I help you with anything else?" He gave me the once over and I have never said the phrase ever again at work. Instead, now I say "can I help you find anything else?" Anyway, he asked for my number, I said I don't date patrons then went back to work. I thought I had escaped until about 20 minutes later when he showed up to check out at the front desk. While I was busy scanning his sheet music he grabbed a pen and paper and wrote something down then slid it in my direction. I waited until he left to look at the paper. On it was his name - illegible - followed by his number and the phrase "Likes ass or jazz." Needless to say I did not call him. And of course he just happened to be outside when Slim Shady and I walked out to our cars so we pretended to be in deep conversation when passing him and his friends so I wouldn't have to face him.

2. Everything that everybody warned about
-Likes ass or jazz is number one on my list, but it's not the most intense of the group. That honor goes to Tom. Tom is a long story that I will try to sum up in a paragraph. I was working upstairs in the lab when this guy came up and asked about bank phone numbers. He smiled, I smiled, whatever. Anyway, later in the day I was downstairs shelving DVDs when he showed up behind me and asked for my number. Tom is the reason for the no dating patrons rule, just so you know, unfortunately for me that means the rule wasn't in existence yet and he seemed sane so I gave him my number. Turns out he wasn't. My favorite part of the whole experience was going back to the desk and hearing my work brother tell me he was bad news and then another coworker saying that my work brother would know bad news because he used to be bad news himself. Anyway, so we met up after work at a bar, played darts, and it was fun. In fact all was fun until I woke up the next morning with 30 missed calls on my cellphone. I decided then that he was too much for me and ended it over the phone. When he wouldn't listen and continued to call me all day I turned off my phone and later listened to a voicemail saying if I didn't answer he was going to show up at the library the next day and make a scene. Which meant I had to tell my bosses and the guard. That was fun. I also told Second Sister who then called me every hour on the hour for 24 hours just to make sure I wasn't locked in a trunk somewhere. She insisted if he showed up at my apartment that I was supposed to do the "intercom breakup", starting a new trend for breakups everywhere. Needless to say after that I never dated a patron again.

3. Grey shirted foreign guy
-So I had this patron at the work branch who would ask me out and I replied, sorry I don't date patrons. He then learned that I worked at the home branch and started showing up there and asking me out. I told him the rule applied to patrons systemwide. Then he started talking about marriage and settling down and it became even more awkward. When he showed up the next day at the work branch I told my work brother to not leave me alone with the foreign guy in the grey shirt. About half an hour later I'm helping out this guy who happened to be foreign and wearing a grey shirt, but it wasn't the actual guy, and my work brother shows up out of nowhere, hands me a book and says "take this to the back room." He then took over and when I came back the guy was gone. While I was glad he was watching out for me, it was still amusing because it was the wrong guy.

4. Hey, Little Red Riding Hood
-"Love at the library" is what Slim Shady called this one. This guy was on a computer and wanted to know about dry camping so I helped him find some info yet completely forgot now what dry camping is in the first place. Anyway, I had red hair at the time and he started calling me Little Red Riding Hood. It continued for a week until he stopped coming in.

5. Karaoke Mike
-Mike was a guy who would hit on me every time he came in and I did my best to avoid him but for some reason he was very consistent. During our last encounter he asked me to go karaoking with him and gave me the address to a bar here in town with a time and date. Fortunately I was busy and couldn't go and that was the end of that.

6. Jerry
-True creeper this one. This older guy who would come in and get DVDs and then he'd tell me he'd see me in his dreams. He asked for a picture of me once, it was really awkward.

7. Old Lady Stalker
-Unfortunately it's not only men that follow me around the building. I have a woman that does that too. This one told me her life story while looking for books on Suzanne Somers. While I thought she was being nice I was told she actually has a history of stalking female employees and now whenever she comes in I'm required to leave the area.

8. Commenting Creeper
-While on my way to the back room I passed a drunk guy seating next to the doorway. All the sudden I hear "nice ass..." and kept walking in fear of turning around and having him leer more at me. When I told this to my coworkers in the backroom one of our former aides said she would have cussed him out in Russian. We went back out but he was already gone. Bummer.

Incident Reports
1. Fortune Teller
-We have these things called Incident Reports that we have to fill out when anything bad happens and once they're submitted they get emailed to the rest of the staff. By bad I mean patrons showing drunk, people throwing fits, just anything that is bad enough that needs to go on record. I've filled out quite a few of these throughout my three years but one sticks out in particular. A lot of the time people that call in want phone numbers. This is fine, we have lots of resources, it just takes time to find them. One lady called in wanting personal numbers and when I couldn't find them fast enough she started to insult me repeatedly. I did my best and eventually found the ones she was looking for and that's when she became all sweet and said she wanted to tell me something. Apparently, she could tell from the way that I spoke that within the next two weeks I was going to find a mate. Also, the world was going to end so I needed to right all my wrongs and never take advantage of anyone. Because of her threatening nature earlier in the call I had to write up an incident report and include her ramblings of my finding a mate within the next two weeks. Needless to say I got a lot of responses about that one. Coincidentally, less than 2 weeks later I met Tom...

2. The code
-We have this code - I can't tell you what it is cause that would negate the code - but we have a code that we use when we're in trouble at the desk and need to get away. We call someone at a different desk and say the code or sometimes when people notice we're having trouble they come and take over and send us to find the code. There was once such instance that stands out the most. Queen of the Known Universe and I were working in the lab when this guy came up to the desk and kept asking me all these personal questions. I remember it was around Thanksgiving and he basically invited himself over to my house for Thanksgiving. QoftKU happened to be there so she went out into the stacks and using her cellphone she called the desk. I answered and then acted like I needed to go find something for her. She then went to the desk to cover. After a few minutes he realized I wasn't coming back so then he started to talk to her. I saw this from the stacks so I decided to call her desk from my cellphone and she used that as an escape method as well. We met up in the middle of the nonfiction and watched as he stood by the desk waiting for us to come back. When he finally realized we weren't coming back he left and we returned to the desk.


Home Branch Fun
1. "I know this is ridiculous but..."
-My first day of work at the home branch, and for the library system in general, was spent in the back room. We had these plastic bags that we gave out for Summer Reading and apparently the legal department decided they were dangerous because if a kid put it over their head they would suffocate. I can still remember Glee-Loving Boss's voice when he said, "I know this is ridiculous..." and handed me a 3 hole punch so I could punch holes in the bottom of each of our plastic bags.

2. Dirt System
-Space Cadet and I were having a conversation about shifting stuff around the library. I said something like, "what happens if I just move it?" and she responded with something like, "you don't have the power to do that you're dirt. no, you're below dirt mining for minerals." This is back when I was an aide. I actually enjoyed that immensely because for the next 3 and a half years I got to say, "she called me dirt" in a little kid whiney voice and then she felt all fake bad about it. It actually led us to creating what we called the Dirt System. It represented the library's hierarchy and goes something like this:

Director - Sun
Assistant Director - Moon
Branch Manager - Clouds
Admin Staff - Sky
Librarians - Trees - though Sensei wanted to be a shrub
LA3's - Grass
LA2's - Dirt
Aides - Below dirt, mining for minerals aka Subdirt

I was excited because I was able to bring it back this week. I asked if I was still dirt if I had my Master's degree.

3. Flu Mist Nasal Spray
-Every year I get a flyer for Flu Mist Nasal Spray sent from an anonymous source through interdepartmental mail and it's because of this incident. I hate needles. If you know me at all you know that already. I pass out in their very presence. I told this to Glee-Loving Boss when he talked about getting a flu shot. He said that I should get the shot or I would get sick and I said I would rather get the flu than get the shot. At that very moment Oldest Sister decided to walk in, cause she used to come to the home branch all the time back when I was there. Glee-Loving Boss relayed this story on to her and she agreed that I needed to get a flu shot and that she would go with me just to hold me down. That's when Glee-Loving Boss said that they now make a nasal spray that works just as well. I still said I would rather get the flu and somehow majestically escaped getting the shot, I think Oldest Sister got too busy and distracted, yay. Anyway, I forget about it and then every year around December in the mail comes an ad. I have them hanging all over my desk and locker.

4. Shirley's Face
-You know how some people have their volume turned up really loud on their phone and even though you don't want to hear their conversations you do anyway? This happened once at the home branch when I was helping our volunteer with the self-check. There was a woman on the computer next to the self-check and he phone rang. When she answered if you could hear the gentlemen on the other side of the line say VERY LOUDLY "I've got diarrhea bad!" I will never forget the look on Shirley's face when she turned and looked at me. Horrified is one word to describe it and the expression is forever burned into my brain.

5. Screw the fan, you want an e-reader!
-This one came after the Christmas when e-readers were THE hot gift and we would get calls at the library every hour asking how they could download e-books from our catalog. We were told that instead of avoiding talking about e-readers with our customers that we needed to embrace them and be enthusiastic about them because they were the future. During a particularly amusing Tuesday night Space Cadet and I really took this one to heart repeatedly throwing out the phrases "yay e-readers!" and "we're enthusiastic about e-readers!" We then got into a discussion about how her husband is very handyman-like and fixes things around the house. One thing he was fixing was the ceiling fan. Apparently the lights flickered - which he fixed - but then the fan stopped working even when you pulled the string so I was like, "well maybe you should get a new fan", and she was like "it is new!" So I yelled "Well then screw the fan! You want an e-reader!" She died.

6. Sea cow vs. Snow leopard
-This is another Space Cadet Tuesday night. We used to work together every Tuesday night, Tuesday nights were my favorite cause I was only there for 2 hours. It was Space Cadet at first, then the Queen of Awesome, and Joe Studley, it was always a lot of fun. Anyway, when it was slow Space Cadet and I would have debates. One famous one was who would win in a fight a sea cow or a snow leopard. Random I'm aware, but we read that sea cows were extinct and she had recently had a dream with a snow leopard in it. I have no idea why. Anyway, our conclusion was that a sea cow would win because they're too big to leave the water and the snow leopard would never last that long under water.

7. 9/11 Parking Lot Adventure
-Why is it that all the bad things happen when you're alone in the building? The home branch is a particularly small library and sometimes there's only 1 person there to close. One night about 5 minutes to close a woman came in crying, hands all scratched up and covered in blood. She had tripped over a curb in our parking lot and wanted to know if she could use our bathroom to clean herself up. She was an older lady so after she returned from the bathroom I helped her apply some bandages and asked if I could help her to her car. She seemed really shook up so I called Superwoman and asked what to do. She came over to the library and we decided to call 911. An ambulance and fire truck came and checked her out. She ended up leaving in the ambulance for further tests.

8. "You looked all serious." "I am serious, I gotta get rid of this 7Up!"
-Another Space Cadet reference. One morning she came up to me looking all serious and I thought I was in trouble. She proceeded to tell me how she inherited this box of 7Up and wanted to know if I would take it. I said sure and then said I was worried because she "looked all serious." She responded, "I am serious, I gotta get rid of this 7Up!"

9. Sunny D Utility Belt
-When I used to work mornings at the home branch I would bring a bottle of juice with me for breakfast. I was prone to leaving it somewhere while shelving. Queen of Awesome told me that I should get a utility belt to put it in so I wouldn't forget it.

10. Dead limbs
-You know how sometimes when your cat bites you your limb goes numb? Anyone? Anyone? No it's not a good sign, but it only happened once and eventually came back so it was fine. The only problem with that was in the meantime I had to go to work and on this particular day Superwoman needed me to get on a step stool and hang up artwork. This may be easy for a person with two arms, but when one of those arms is dead you're left trying to figure out how you're supposed to hold up the picture above your head along with the stapler and then how you're going to staple with the stapler. I ended up using the dead arm to hold the artwork and stapler to the wall then I bashed the stapler with the good arm. Skills.

11. Contents: Weed
-As an aide you do a lot of boxing. Donations mostly, but every few months the branches run what they call "weed lists" which are lists of items that need to be weeded from the collection. Pulling the items was not a problem but what made me laugh was the signs we had to tape to the sides of the boxes to make them recognizable. Contents: Weed

12. Shelver's Curse
-As an aide you also do a ton of shelving. You are the backbone of the library whether they like it or not. Thankfully when I was one I had a very supportive crew with me. Anyway, since you shelve repeatedly you get to know the call numbers and their locations. I started calling it the Shelver's Curse but it's actually quite useful when you're out in the stacks. The only problem is that I was a shelver at the home branch and learned my call numbers and locations from there so now when I need to locate an item I visualize the shelves at the home branch and judge what the call number is by where it's shelved in my mind. 2 years after retiring as a shelver at that branch.

But, if someone asks,
Computers are 005's,
Encyclopedia's are 031's,
Bibles are 220's,
Finance are 330's,
True Crime 364.152-154,
Foreign languages are 400's,
Math and Science crap is 500's,
Health and exercise is about 612-620,
Car manuals 629's,
Gardens are 635,
Animals are 636,
Cookbooks start at 640 and go through about 649 which is when you'll hit the
resume books at 650.14,
after that it's knitting and sewing in the early 700's,
Comics and how to draw stuff is in the 741's-745's,
Decorating is 747's,
780's are music,
790's are sport stuff,
800's are mostly classic literature stuff and
some comedy around 817,
all the travel stuff is in the 900's,
US travel is like 917s,
917.82 or 917.822 is Nebraska central.
For some reason you get baby names at 929. No idea why.
Then you've got US and world history after that in the late 900s,
And then it's all biographies from there.

13. The Lost in Transit Band
-We had a merry band of coworkers so we once decided we should start a band called the Lost in Transit - that's another one of the lists you run when you're an aide. We all played different instruments so we figured we had it all covered. QofA plays flute, Glee-loving boss plays trumpet, Sensei plays piano, I play guitar and Joe Studley was our lead singer. We were very different people but it seemed to work. In fact, we all had very different majors - genealogy, theology, nutrition, english, and business but that just helped us to be better as a unit.

14. "She says I should get a sticker. Or a gold star. Or a pizza." 
-Space Cadet loves pizza. In fact we used to order pizza and eat it at our staff meetings then she and I would debate about who in town had the best pizza and breadsticks. I did well on something, I think it had something to do with the point system, and Space Cadet told me I needed to tell Superwoman that I deserved a prize. So, I said the above quote and she hit me with, "Oh good grief, she would say pizza." In the end I got a snowflake sticker to put on my nametag. The kind we gave away at the desk that she didn't know about until she showed up that morning and said, "hey cool snowflake stickers."

15. But I am shy!
-If you knew me before the library you know that I'm very antisocial. Or was very antisocial. And shy.
We were scanning books and Joe Studley claimed that I can't be a shy person because I was in drama in high school and I direct a kids camp and I sing and I'm on YouTube. I yelled, "But I AM shy!" And with seriously perfect timing Glee-Loving Boss walked in and said "Since when?!"

16. "Are you free tonight? Do you need to call your mother?"
-So Superwoman and I give each other a tremendous about of crap. It works for us, but it started a long long time ago. The first of which that I can remember was this. She asked me to cover a night shift, and since I didn't have a life - at that point that is - I said yes, not realizing that my mother had this family thing planned. Last minute I called SW and she covered for me, however, the next time she asked me to work late she preceded it with "Are you free tonight? Do you need to call your mother?"


Work Branch Fun
1. Bird in the back room
-This is probably the funniest memory of them all cause I don't think I've laughed so hard, after you know screaming really loudly in a corner that is. So there's this fake bird somewhere in the building and I know this because it was on Superwoman's chair and I screamed bloody murder when I first ran into it. A few weeks later I went into the back room and saw what looked like that fake bird sitting on a cart of books to be checked in. Thinking that Superwoman was pulling a prank on me I approached the bird and then...it moved. I went to the guard and told him about it and he went with me to get it back outside. I should mention that the guard on staff that day was an elderly gentlemen who was a big guy and used to be in the military. I pointed out the bird, closed the door behind me and hid in the corner. The guard noticed that the delivery man had left the door open and that's how it must have gotten in. He then decided that the best way to get the bird back out the door was to herd it in that direction so he raised his arms, started screaming, and ran at it. The bird decided that instead of flying back outside it would fly at my head instead. So I'm crouched over in the corner screaming bloody murder while the bird flies at my head and the guard chasing it around the back room screaming and waving his arms the whole time - reminder this is a big ex-military guy - eventually the bird flew out the door but not before making a mess everywhere. Me, not wanting to touch any of that, thanked the guard and went out to tell my boss running into my coworkers first. Apparently they heard the screams, so still living that one down. I found BossLady and showed her the mess the bird had made all over the place. She said she'd clean it up so I followed her around the room and handed her sanitizing wipes which she decided to chase me around the room with after. Mean. "Scared the crap out of me." "Scared the crap out of it too."

2. Point System
-Since I started right before Summer Reading began my training was being thrown to the wolves. And I survived so I'm stronger for it. Since she didn't get a chance to train me properly Superwoman used to schedule herself with me and quiz me on things. This is where the Point System started. I started at 0 and have worked my way up and down to 156.58 and I'm stuck there. She did give me points for graduating but I think it was like 2 so barely. 156.58 is great, except that my Mom has 150 points and Space Cadet has 175. These are my own fault. Space Cadet got 150 points for sending an email with an attachment which I showed her how to do. Then got another 25 later on cause Superwoman knows I'm gullible and competitive. Mom got 150 cause she sent an email with an attachment and I relayed that to Superwoman. Like I said, gullible and competitive.

3. "Tell them you worship snakes."
-This one came from Cabin Fever about Tom. She was the first one who responded to my Fortune Teller Incident Report and then told me I had to be mean to Tom or he would follow me to the corners of hell. I asked her what I could do to make creepers stop following me and she said she tells telemarketers or religious people that come to her door that she worships snakes cause that usually shuts them up long enough for her to hang up or close the door. She also said I should find something unattractive about myself and emphasize it when creepers are around so they'll leave me alone. I replied - too loudly - "what's unattractive about me?" and another coworker walked by and asked if I was having a bad day.

4. What Was I Thinking: The Hindsight Bias
-Another Cabin Fever reference, because of the multitude of bad dating experiences and just awkward experiences in general we have compiled we decided we should one day write a book entitled: What Was I Thinking: The Hindsight Bias. My first chapter will be called "So I dated a conman - dating mistakes, mishaps, and malfunctions".

5. Lottery Debate
-Every few weeks the Queen of the Known Universe buys lottery tickets that we all go in on. We're convinced that one day we will win it big and don't feel bad now that we know that admin does their own batch buying. We've debated as to what we would buy if we were to win. QoftKU wants a gulfstream stocked with cowboys and firemen, Old New Guy has decided on a yacht with a helipad so we can come visit, and I'm still working on my list of items. It has to be something that goes with the group theme and not something lame like a mansion with a nice sound system. I'm thinking something to do with trains would go over well with my boyfriend.

6. Hulk Taxes
-Every year the library offers tax assistance. One year we did it on Sundays and we open late on Sundays so it didn't start until 1PM. InfoMan, myself and an aide were opening the main floor when suddenly the front doors were Hulk-ed open and a man came in and headed toward the elevator. Infoman explained that we were closed - the lights were still off - and that he needed to go back outside and wait. The man insisted that he needed to be first in line to get his taxes done and proceeded to walk to the elevator. Infoman insisted he needed to wait outside and followed him closing the doors behind him. I can't think of a word better than Hulk-ed his way in, because literally he pried the two doors open and busted his way in. I can only imagine that that's exactly what happens when the Hulk needs tax assistance.

7. Bats at the library
-This one is a little more recent, and yet another opening discovery. While shelving the DVD's I looked up at the ceiling and noticed there was bat hanging next to the light. Crazy birds aside usually I'm not squeemish when it comes to small animals, but at the time my girlish shriek and repeated yelling of my boss's name would suggest otherwise. She thought he was cute. We called Animal Control and he came in with tupperware and a ladder. I went, seriously? That's your bat catching equipment? Not outloud of course, just in my head as I hid in the corner. He put the ladder under where the bat was located, climbed up, placed the tupperware against the ceiling around the bat and shook it until the bat fell into the bowl. He then put a lid on it, climbed down, picked up his ladder and left, shutting me up in the process.

8. "College"
-I have a lot of nicknames for people as you've noticed, and have gained a few myself along the way. My favorite of these is "College" which was given to me by my work big brother. We have a virtual services unit, filled with computer people specifically there to fix things, but whenever there seemed to be a computer problem and he and I were scheduled together he would call me "College" and tell me to go fix it. Which usually I could.

9. Internet down, cellphone reference
-One day last year our internet went down and anything that happens it's a travisty because that's why half of our patrons come to us. They get restless so we do the best we can. The added problem now is that our system is on the cloud so we can't access our library stuff either. This means we have to quick on our feet. During this particular instance wiring had been hit during construction and had to be re-individually spliced so we knew it would be a while. In the meantime I used my Shelver's Curse to find items for people and when that didn't work I looked stuff up on my phone's internet.

10. Bird vs. Glass door
-For some reason bosses always have people train with me. I don't know if it's because I'm young or new or still excited about the library, whatever reason I've trained a ton of people. During one training session I was in youth services when we heard this big THUNK. A bird had flown into the glass door and its feathers were scattered all over the ground. It sat there stunned as were we, trying to figure out what to do. When in doubt, call the guard. We felt bad for laughing while explaining this to the guard but by the time we went over to show him where he was it was gone.

11. 9/11 Fire Trucks Galore
-I was in the back room when one of my volunteers came in and said, "it smells like smoke on second floor." I was about to go confirm this when suddenly the fire alarms went off. 2 hours later we're still outside surrounding the building. We meaning our entire staff - admin included - a bunch of firefighters, and massive patron base all itching to get back on the internet computers. Sad day for them being we closed off second floor due to the smoke smell so they were all re-routed. The best part was when InfoMan decided to get rootbeer icecream from the place across the street. He's sitting there eating icecream in the middle of us just standing around, it was awesome.

12. Food Drive
-One of the joys about being new and active in the library is that you get assigned to a lot of things. One of these was the Food Drive. The first year I was the Padawan with Fearless Leader as my master, the next year I was the leader with my own Padawan learner. Leave it to me to decide we should open the drive up to the public instead of just the staff. After getting that approved we needed even more barrels which meant I had to drive my brother-in-law's beast of a truck around town delivering them to all of the branches. It's harder than it sounds, especially when you're new in town and can't see out of the back window. Anyway, we made it into a competition between branches. The first year it was just the most collected items, my second year we had them make sculptures out of the donated items and then outside judges picked the winner for most creative. My branch won when Fearless Leader and the New Girl created a Very Hungry Caterpillar out of our items.

13. Plant MIA
-There are many quirks at a workplace. One of ours used to be plant placement. We had this volunteer that would come in every few weeks and water our plants. One time she came in and one of the plants was missing. I remember there was a staff-wide email about its whereabouts and everything. One of our employees was currently relocated in our basement and had decided it was dead so she threw it out. Her nickname went from Koha Queen to Plant Killer.

14. TAB Apples to Apples
-I love my TAB kids but my favorite memory with them would probably be our holiday parties - last year in particular. They love to play Apples to Apples the regular addition because they think the junior version is too young for them. This is fine, until they run into a card for Nicolas Cage, Al Pacino, Mike Myers, Georgia O'Keefe, Jacques Cousteau, or even Princess Diana and draw a blank. We started a new rule. If you run into a person you don't know just discard them and draw again. This year they added a new rule for me, even if I know them but I think they won't I have to discard and pick a new one.

15. The Boyfriend
-So it's official. My coworkers now believe my boyfriend is real and not just a figment of my imagination. They can't say it anymore now that they've physically met him. And don't even fake it, I know that's why half of you came to my grad party, you knew he'd be there. The boyfriend has been a hot topic ever since he and I started back up again. And timing-wise it was great because Slim Shady met her now fiance right around the same time. That's when our conversations turned from movies, books, and Harry Potter 20 Questions to boys, every time, all the time. The moments that stick out the most when it comes to the boyfriend both come on Valentine's Day. Him and his damn flowers. It's sweet really. The first year I was in the back room with Girlscout and Info-man when Fearless Leader walks in with a big bouquet. I got out of the way cause I thought she was walking past me to get to Girlscout but she stopped in front of me. Apparently my face has never been so red. I told the boyfriend that my coworkers were giving me crap about him sending me flowers so the next year he hand-delivered them. It was like 5:30 and I was sorting DVDs when I hear Mentor clear her throat. I look up and he's there at the desk with a big bouquet. Sweet. But again, massive amount of crap from coworkers. It's okay, it's worth it.


Off-Desk Adventures
1. Booze Cakes
-That night was like a year in the making. We saw this book called Booze Cakes and thought it was hilarious. Eventually we were like, screw it, we should try it out so one night Fearless Leader and I went over to Slim Shady's apartment and created one. It was a mudslide cake and it was glorious. I left the baking to the pros - I burn soup so yeah - it was a lot of fun. We ate it while watching a marathon of Parks and Rec and I ended up taking a huge hunk of it home with me.

2. Movie Night/Jalapeno Margaritas/Noodlewhatevers
-Not only did we bake but we also saw a lot of movies together, King's Speech, Hunger Games, and This Means War are just a few, not including the ones we watched at Slim Shady's place. We used to eat out a lot as well. I took Slim Shady out for jalapeno margaritas and she hated them with a passion. The next time we went she said, and I quote, "Are you gonna order a gross margarita?" One time we tried this one place and I still can't remember the name of it. I just call it Noodlewhatevers even though noodle is nowhere in the title. It actually has something to do with pickles. I went there a few months ago and texted her that I was at Noodlewhatevers and she knew where I was talking about. It was nice having people my own age so we could do things. Not so much anymore.

3. Barnes and Noble w/ Queen of the Known Universe and Nights out w/ QofA
-But that's okay cause I still have QotKU and the QofA to go out and do things. One time QotKU and I met up at Barnes and Noble after work and joked about the urge to fix their shelving. Then reminded ourselves we didn't work there and it was there problem. We dramatically read summaries from the backs of books and ended up buying a few more than planned. Gave me pause when I looked for a spine label and didn't find one. Not a library. Right. Knew that. QofA and I meet up a lot outside of work as well. Mostly for food and conversation. One of those nights we'll actually make it to a movie.

4. TAB Leader Initiation Night
-And when they're not around apparently I have other options. After a TAB Cosplay Party myself and the other TAB leaders decided to go out for drinks and appetizers. Was fun getting to know them and joking about library stuff. The best part was that the bar we went to was under investigation because the previous week they got busted for strippers on the premises.

5. Inservice Go Fish
-Technically this was off-site at Inservice so I'm including it in this category. QofA and I got back from lunch early and decided to have a rousing game of Go Fish. After which I taught her how to play Old Maid. She kicked my butt. Beginner's luck. Then QotKU jumped in and we played some King's on the Corner.


Conferences 
1. NLA 2011 Green Bags and Nametags
-I like to call NLA (Nebraska Library Convention) GNC (Glorified Nerd Convention). We're nerds, we own it. Get used to it. The first NLA conference I ever went to we walked in and they gave us these green bags to put our stuff in. Fearless Leader labeled them as "library swag". They were awesome, especially when everyone left for lunch and half of downtown was carrying them around while the other half wondered if we were in some sort of cult. I love NLA cause I run into all my fun classmates, some of them even present.

2. NLA 2012 The Full Monica/Fake it 'til you make it
-NLA is different when you're a GA. I spent most of my day, well days I was there both days, running all over the place and taking photos of Mizzou alum presenters. It's more awkward than it sounds. 1 because they don't know me so they're confused as to why I'm taking a picture of them and not the other presenters and 2 because you walk in in the middle of their presentation and then leave abruptly after. There are bonuses to being the Library Goddess's GA. You get to meet everyone, including famous authors like Stephanie Bodeen and Mary Downing Hahn. Was a lot of fun, even though it was crazy weather outside.

3. NLA 2013 Truck Yeah
-Waking up at 4:30 and leaving at 5AM makes for a rocky start but it ended up to be a lot of fun. Road with QotKU in our big badass rented truck and the New Guy joined us last minute. We decided we were hot babes - we'd been hit on a lot that week - so it made for an excellent adventure. The conference was good too. Learned about 3D printers, even saw one in action, got lost on the way to lunch, listened to some government chick talk about promoting library services, and then ended it listening to some of my cooler classmates present about essential technology for special libraries.

4. Inservice 2013
-I was worried because we only had 1 guest speaker the entire day instead of breakout sessions so if she sucked we'd be stuck with her. She was actually highly entertaining. Here are a few of my favorite quotes:
-"Thank you for cheering for that, people in Minnesota don't even cheer for that anymore." (about Vikings going to championship)
-"You don't call AAA, you call Uncle Ray!"
-"You might read a book! *mumbles* librarians...."
-"Middle class has made alcohol good for you, thank you! Exercise? No thanks, I've got red wine!"


Misc
1. Nicknames
-As you've noticed I have a ton of nicknames. Basically everyone has one and its works cause I'm pretty sure they don't want to be first-named in a blog. Here are a few: Superwoman, BossLady, New Guy, Old New Guy, New Girl, Trainee, Mentor, Girlscout, Cabin Fever, Slim Shady, Info-Man, Library Judge, Reference Queen, Fearless Leader, Super Librarian Status, Koha Queen/Plant Killer, Queen of Three, Queen of the Known Universe, Queen of Awesome, Joe Studley, Sensei, Glee-Loving Boss, LLCoolAide, Little Shelver Boy, Space Cadet (shortened from Sleep-Deprived Space Cadets which is when we're both there and half awake) there are more but I'm blanking. Each one has a story behind it and I love them all.

2. Letter from the mayor
-A year or two ago I got a letter from the mayor for perfect attendance. Remember the I had no life reference? It was true. It has not happened since.



Quotes best left unexplained:
-"Public transportation is sexy..."

-"Show me your chest hair."

-"Do you date?"
-"Yes, I date."
-"Men?"
-"Yes, I date men."

-"You guys okay?"
-"I have hay fever. She's hungover."

-"What's the name of that big blue thing that blocks off the restroom?"
-"A gift from god?"
-"I was actually going for partition or divider, but gift from god works too."

“There’s no crying in Koha.” 


Supervisor: "Don't run in the library."
Kid: "I'm jogging!"

Me: "That'll be me in 50 years."
Space Cadet: "But you'll use your inside voice. Unless you're too deaf to hear it."

Fearless Leader: *holding up a copy of Legally Blonde the Musical* THIS is why I hate musicals!

Trainee: "It's like, what's that mean? and then Why are you reading my ass?" about the shorts with words on them.

Slim Shady: "They say it's a psychological thriller. I want to know what that means in the context of ballerinas."

Koha Queen: "I'm way passed bananas."

Girlscout: "My orca is gonna attack your porpoise!" 

Reference Queen: "This shirt is older than you are." 

Me: “Was it Patience or Fortitude?”
Slim Shady: “I think it was Patience.”
Me: “You don’t know do you?”
Slim Shady: “No idea.” take a picture in front of the lions

LLCoolAide: “Jam hands bring nothing but pain.” 


And there you have it. My favorite library moments. I'm sure there are more, and will be more, but I'll save those for post 1500.


On to the music. More of my favorites from 2013:

Troublemaker - Olly Murs


Mama's Broken Heart - Miranda Lambert