It's cold out and I'm not wearing pants, where are you?

Huzzah for a day off.

Slept in, it was fabulous.

Watched a ton of my DVR'd X Games - winter edition, go Kelly Clark!

Did a ton of laundry - and folded most of it...

Did a ton of editing - and am loving it.

And played a ton of Lords of the Realm 2 - just cause I could. Made it to level three then looked up and realized it was 11:30 and I should probably go to bed.

See, I didn't think I was one of those gamers that would play stuff like that for hours and not even realize it, but then I found that game and it just never ends.

Blame my brother, he's the one that gave it to me in the first place.

So I was semi-productive, right?

Oh and I watched 2 episodes of Hollywood Game Night - holy crap Angie Harmon is competitive... - and then of course The Blacklist - intensity man.

So I'm boring, and I'm sorry. I'll be more exciting tomorrow cause it's date night.

Today was just too cold to do anything.

Oh and I finally set up my fancy new coffee maker. It's fantastic. The only problem is now I have three - yes three coffeemakers. They all work, I just don't know what to do with them.

Guess I could have a coffee taste-off.

With like 10 of my friends, cause they each make a ton.

Yes "ton" is the word of the day. Pretty much every day of my life cause there's always a ton of things going on and it seems the only word worthy to capture that amount specifically.

I guess there are others.

Massive.

Large.

Mahoosive.

Oh, and I wrote thank you notes to the professors who wrote me recommendation letters for grad school.

I don't know why mahoosive made me think of that.

Well, it went: Mahoosive.

Moose.

Gazelles.

Gazelle swagger.

Fiction Writing.

ZH.

Long story.

I realize I'm making no sense.

Sorry.

I think it's all the caffeine from the new coffeemaker.

Or I'm just losing my mind, I did go outside in shorts today to take the trash out.

Which would be fine but it's like 10 degrees out.

But I'm an idiot like that. College classmates used to yell at me cause I would never wear coats, just hoodies, and then Sketch would be like, um, yeah. Have you ever met her before?

"It's cold out and I'm not wearing pants, where are you?"

Shorts. I was wearing shorts. They're not pants, but it came out wrong.

Speaking of Sketch, it's her birthday today. So in honor of that I shall re-post two of my favorite Sketch-centric Sketch and Edit's in her honor. Cause I can. And let's face it this post was going nowhere anyway.

Originally posted here and here. Should really make an inventory post for these things. Here's links to this particular storyline if you get lost.

First was this: Sketch Gets Some Flowers
Next was this: Sketch and Edit Buy Some Plants
Code reference comes from here: Sketch and Edit Cook a Turkey

Sketch Meets the Parents
*Sketch enters front door and slams it*
Sketch – “Would someone please tell me what is up with guys?!”
Edit from couch – “You don't really expect me to have an answer to that do you?”
S – “He wants me to meet his mother.”
E – “What?!”
S – “Yeah.”
E – “I didn’t know it was that serious!”
S – “Neither did I!”
E – “When?”
S – “Now, tonight, I gotta go get ready.”
E – “You’re shaking!”
S – “I’m meeting the parents! Who meets the parents on the third date?!”
E – “A mama’s boy?”
S – “But seriously? His mother? Seriously?”
E – “Where does she live?”
S – “Over on Elm Street.”
E – “Ah, suburbia, where they tear down the trees then name streets after them.”
S – “I gotta find something to wear, come on.” *Edit jumps off couch and follows Sketch upstairs*
E – “You’re asking me for fashion advice? Really?”
S – “You’re my only option.”
E – “Good point.”
*Sketch goes into closet while Edit sits on bed*
Sketch returns with dress – “What do you think of this dress?”
E – “Ummm, stick some candles in it and make a wish?”
S – “Bad, got it. Moving on.” *goes back into closet and yells* “Why am I doing this again?”
E – “I don’t know, some plantman-induced psychosis?”
*Sketch re-enters in dress*
E – “Oh, don’t even try using the laser vision on me with that dress on.”
S – “Bad?”
E – “It’s…interesting.”
S – “Interesting as in not pretty. Got it.” *goes back into closet and yells* “But seriously, why am I doing this?”
E – “Love is a damn crazy thing.”
S – “Is it really?”
E – “I don’t know, that’s what my college roommate told me when she was drunk on her 21st birthday and I had to take care of her.”
S – “Point taken.” *returns* “What about this one?”
E – “Much better.”
S – “Okay, makeup.” *move into bathroom across the hall, Edit leans in the hallway* “But, it’s like, he calls me and acts all sweet and asks me out to dinner. So I say yes, clearly stating I have no other plans. Then he drops the bomb. ‘Oh, it’s at my mother’s. So dress nice. Okay, see you at seven!’ CLICK! He hangs up! But what was I supposed to do? I can’t say I have plans when he knows I clearly have no plans. So there was no escape route. But, I like him. I mean, I think I like him. Maybe it will be okay.”
E – “Do you need me for this conversation?”
S – “Maybe she won’t be this horrible horrible bitch that I can imagine her being because her son is such a jerk.”
E – “And yet you continue to date him.”
S – “Well, not really.”
E – “You’re meeting his mother! That’s like the definition of dating!”
S – “You’re really not helping my nerves here.” *turns away from mirror* “What do you think?”
E – “Hot.”
S – “But not like slutty. Cause that would be bad.”
E – “Nope, not slutty enough to be a hoe yet not nun-like enough to be celibate.”
S – “Um, thanks?” *Sketch starts downstairs Edit follows*
E – “So, what is plant man’s real name anyway?”
S – “No.”
E – “He’s Chinese? Is that his first or last?”
S – “Absolutely not, cause you’ll run a background check or hack into his computer. No!”
E – “Oh come on! How am I supposed to be petty and judgmental without having all the facts?”
*Sketch glares*
E – “What?”
S – “I’m trying to imagine you with less personality.”
Edit grins – “How’s that working for you?”
S – “Kiss it.”
E – “Suck it!” *sketch opens door* “Good luck!”
S – “Watch out for the code!” *closes door, Edit crashes on couch with phone*


A Nightmare on Elm Street aka Sketch Uses the Code
*Edit’s phone beeps*
Text message from Sketch: “as;dflkjasfdlparlay”
*Edit dials*
*Sketch’s phone rings at dinner table, Mother glares*
Edit – “Curses, King Henry has cut off my head!”
S – “I have to take this, excuse me.” *goes outside while Edit rambles*
E – “You need to come home because I am decapitated. And even though I can still talk it is, in fact, an emergency and I need you to come and drive me to the hospital. Now. You need to come now, there’s blood all over the couch and I’m hungry and I can’t eat without a head because I can’t see the food to eat it and I don’t have a mouth to put it in and then there will be no food because I have no head so then I will die, like actually die and…”
S – “We’re clear, I’m outside. Are you watching The Tudors again?”
E – “Yep. Bad?”
S – “You know Hitler?”
E – “Not on a first name basis, but yes, I’m familiar with him.”
S – “Imagine him with long brown hair staring at you while you’re trying to eat a salad.”
E – “Is this with or without the mustache?”
S – “You need to come get me.”
E – “You don’t think they’re going to see through that?”
S – “I know. I hate you.”
E – “You like this guy right?”
S – “I’m eating dinner with his mother, I think that’s a definite sign.”
E – “Well, it’s not like you had much choice in the matter, but you seem to like the guy and you glow when you come home and you’re all happy giddy Sketch all the time. He seems worth all this and you don’t want to throw that away because you can’t stand to be in the same room with his mother for more than an hour, do you?”
S – “No.”
E – “So just finish the salad-”
S – “But she’s staring at me!”
E – “Then stare back!”
S – “What if her jaw unhinges and she bites off my head?”
E – “Well, then we’re screwed cause I’m already decapitated.”
S – “Who will drive us to the hospital?”
E – “Plantman?”
S – “Maybe.”
E – “Oh, is he not on our side anymore?”
S – “Undetermined. But he can’t think it’s going well, right? I mean, when your mother grills your dates about their personal lives and finds a way to make every answer sound like they’re a hillbilly with no hope or future do you think it’s going well?”
E – “Don’t know, haven’t really had a relationship that’s lasted longer than a mento so there’s been no need for introductions.”
S – “That’s cause you’re a commitment-phobe.”
E – “Look who’s talking.”
S – “Hey, I’m here aren’t I?”
E – “Yes, but you don’t want to be. Just breathe, go back inside, finish the salad and say it’s a school night so you need to get back to work on lesson plans. Which it is, and you do. I’ll see you when you get home.”
S – “If I don’t jump out on the interstate first.”
E – “Don’t jump out on the interstate – drive a motorcycle and get someone to door you, it’s a much better way to go.”
S – “Alright. I’m going back in. Thanks.”
E – “Anytime. By the way, was that a ‘parlay’ at the end of that text?”
S – “I thought it was fitting.”
E – “I think we found our new codeword.”

BTW that phone call actually happened. My college roommate coded me and I responded with a decapitated rambling.

It was quite fascinating really.

Alright, that's all I got. I hope you all had an awesome Monday.

Music and I'm out.

Follow Your Arrow - Kacey Musgraves


not bad.