For last year's go here: Camp J 2011
Thursday:
-Hangin’ with the
cool kid
:: My fellow lifers couldn’t make it tonight so I jammed
with one of their little brothers. He’s a cool kid, pretty funny and really
interested in camp stuff. Helped carry mattresses across camp, took pictures of
the walk-in freezer, helped with pre-registration stuff. When we get there
Thursday night one of the first things we do is make sure every cabin has a fan
and do a mattress count to make sure we have space for everyone. He volunteered
us to do the girls side. I’d never seen someone so excited to check more cabins
and deliver more fans – the boys side only has 4 cabins while the girls has 7.
His reason? He’d never seen the inside of the Mary Lee cabin. That’s the giant
one way on the far east side. So we did our fan deliveries and mattress counts,
then set up some tents for the extra boys. Oh the joys of working with the Jim’s.
-“What is wrong with
this picture?”
:: So, usually I’m up until like 2AM writing skits on
Thursday night. Camp starts Friday morning and our first session is at like
1PM, but I find my greatest skits are written at 2AM. Apparently that’s when
the creative genius kicks in. Anyway, finished them before 10 tonight. It was
crazy, all I had left was to print them off. My only freakout moment was when I
ran out of black ink, but I found a way around that, the cheater’s way I
printed them in color. I’ll get more ink tomorrow morning before the kids get
here.
Breakfast at 8, Walmart trip at 9, Counselor meeting at
10:30, Campers arrive at 11:30.
DAY ONE:
-“Buzz the Lightyear”
:: Walmart runs rock. Except of course when you forget the
ink cartridges you were going there for in the first place. But that’s cool, I’ll
get them later. Not on our list but we bought them anyway were some super sweet
flashlights. I’ll get to the headlamps later, but Megan found these sweet Buzz
Lightyear and princess flashlights that were also lanterns. Jim O wanted the
princess one so Megan took the “Buzz the Lightyear” one.
-“I hear the nerds.”
:: Also not on our Walmart list were the 100 Sci-Fi classic
movie collection and massive stock of candies. Nerds being one of them. The
quote came after hitting a bump on the ride back.
-“Eh, they signed a
waiver.”
:: This was the theme for camp this year. Well, Jim and my
theme for camp this year. The actual theme was “The Ultimate Transformer” and
as it is a religious camp there was much talk of transformation with Christ. But
I quoted our theme probably three times a day, every day - basically whenever
there was some sort of emergency, or the possibility of some sort of emergency.
I mean, we fixed the problems because we’re good people, but there’s always
that joking moment when poles fall off buildings or children come in with
bloody noses after getting hit in the face with a ball where you sit back and
ask, “they signed a waiver that covered that right?” “yeah, we’re good.”
-Ninja flyswatter
:: We made weapons at camp this year. Again. We being myself
and the people keeping me sane aka Katey, Ryan, Jim, Liz, Steve and Pastor. We
made a sword and a knife and a cleaver. If it makes you feel any better they
were for a skit. Tankety-tank-tank to be exact. I used the skit previously so
you could either find it on here now or wait until I post it tomorrow. I wanted
to make a lightsaber and throw in a “force-ity force-force” but didn’t have the
necessary ingredients to pull it off. The “Ninja Flyswatter” was our original
sword, a skewer covered in foil. Turns out the only thing it was good at
killing was flies so we gave it to Pastor and a made a new one out of
cardboard.
-Purse in the
microwave
:: Sleeping in Oldest Sister’s camper was the bomb, for
serious. Megan and I joined her instead of sleeping in our usual tent or the
un-air-conditioned storm shelter. In a camper you “gotta take advantage of storage
options.” As we were plugged in for air conditioning but didn’t plan on doing
any cooking that left the oven and microwave available for storage. Megan took
advantage and shoved her purse in the microwave. Then took a picture. I have
one as well, look for that later in the week. She’s always highly amusing so
her camper tour was hilarious. “I already told you I broke it, why are you
surprised?”
-“Those are gonna be
some weirdass rashes”
:: Flashbacks to the port-a-potty year. Megan and I were
explaining to Oldest Sister our exploits from Camp J 2010 – aka the “we pooped
in a bucket and you can too” year- one such exploit involved not finding/using
the port-a-potties until nightfall when we couldn’t see and of course didn’t
have flashlights with us. Darkness in a port-a-potty makes it even more awkward
so we made some commentary "not a sink, don't touch that", then realized how close we were to a cabin. “We’re
commentating their dreams.” “Those are gonna be some weirdass dreams.” Oldest
Sister said if we couldn’t have found the port-a-potties – so if Judy wasn’t
there to point her flashlight in their general direction when we asked at like
11PM – we could have squatted by a tree. HOWEVER, there is poison ivy by those
trees so instead of “those are gonna be some weirdass dreams” it became “those
are gonna be some weirdass rashes.”
-“Night Patrol
Anonymous”
:: Megan and I pulled night patrol. Was glad to have someone
with me this year. We were pretty stoked cause on the Walmart run this morning
we found these sweet Cars headlamps, like they were red and had McQueen on them
and you put them on your head and hit the button and they rocked. So we went
around at night, turned them off when we got close to the cabins, snuck up to
the windows of the cabins still up past lights out, and turned them on right up
against the windows. They screamed and we rejoiced. The best part was they were
super bright so they couldn’t see who was wearing them. “Who are you guys?” “It’s
night patrol anonymous, we don’t have names.” “Aren’t you the lifeguard and
that music lady?” “Crap.”
-“They stole my weed,
Megan bawls.”
:: More flashbacks, this time to a Delayed…Reaction reference
based on yet another experience with Megan and Bethany. Whilst on our way to
the tent like 3 years ago Megan almost walked into the weeds that could have led
to the “those would have been some weirdass rashes” therein came the phrase “Avoid
the weed!” We do a lot of cheering when we bowl at teen camp so when Megan went
up I yelled “Avoid the weed!” and she fell and lost it. In the song it became “Avoid
the weed! Megan falls.” This year we realized that all of that weed was gone.
Camp got a makeover and apparently that was a part of it. So now it’s “They
stole my weed! Megan Bawls.”
DAY TWO
-“And you thought
your name was bad.”
:: Catalina Madelina definitely earns the weirdest name
award. Campfire songs are always fun. Unless they are the sheep song. I don’t
want to be a sheep. I don’t want to baa, baa, baa, or baa. I also don’t want to
have the song stuck in my head throughout the entire camp experience. It was so
bad that Megan and I were like pseudo-napping and we both ended up singing it
pre-teen camp instead of sleeping and I kept singing it on and off all the way until now. Not
again.
-“No her name was not
“Mary Again”
:: When looking for a woman’s name in the bible and you can’t
find it Mary is a safe bet. This year instead of tubing we went with more crafts,
more swimming, more games and bible trivia. Pastor led the trivia and there was
a lot of stuff I had no idea about. Like who Timothy’s mother and grandmother
were.
-Get down with the sickness.
:: It was about mid-day when I got word that one of our
counselors was feeling sick and was down for the count. Shortly after his teen
helper came down with the same one and we were freaked we’d have to send the
kids home or quarantine them. Instead our head nurse and her mother sanitized the
place top to bottom twice. And it must have worked cause that was all
we heard of it. Though they did pilfer one of my teen helpers to cover, blah.
-“That’s not part of
the snack”
:: Every year we feed the kids snacks before bedtime. Pastor
announced this after campfire right after he announced that anyone who had
medications needed to stop by and get them before bed. Shortly after he included, “that’s
not part of the snack.”
DAY THREE
-“And *pbbt* you was
gone.”
:: Actually remembered to alternate the skits with the 7th
and 8th graders singing. Last year I forgot until after like the 5th
grade skit and instead I went with the verses all together instead. Had a lot
of great verses this year, though nothing can top this one:
I’ll post this year’s tomorrow.
-With a “wet stone”
:: Yet another never ending stuck in your head song was the
ever popular “There’s a Hole in the Bucket”. We told the boys to enjoy it while it lasts cause
it’s the only last word they’ll ever get. Joel – our new guitar guy – threw in the quotations
hand gesture while saying “wet stone” cause really, what is a wet stone? Does
it have to be wet in order to sharpen things? Totally changes the song, I’m
adding the quote gesture to my list of actions. Maybe I should add in “then
google it, dear Henry.” as a final verse. I used to finish with “use the other one” but then
Kracke came back with “we’re poor, we can’t afford another bucket.”
-“To be fair I did
say avoid the parents.”
:: I guess tiny children weren’t included in that statement
so when one of the skits involved throwing a bucket of water on one of the
campers the majority of it ended up on one of the little kids in the audience.
Needless to say she wasn’t happy.
-“Eat a lotta, eat a lotta, eat a lotta pizza.”
:: Oh the more joys of campfire music. It truly is the joy that never ends. Just keeps on giving. Especially whilst shelving in the jNonfiction section. I sang a lot in that corner. This one was a
variation of one we already knew, and for some reason – okay it was my fault –
the kids started singing it so they would smile when the parents were taking
their group pictures. I’m sure Mom will send me copies within the next few
days. Unless she’s already sent them through email.
-“Jo-Pastor!”
:: Gotta remember to watch myself when calling Pastor “Josh”
as the kids really don’t. I heard somewhere that if the pastor isn’t yours you
can call them by their first name, and since I was used to hearing him being
addressed as Josh about 3 years ago I greeted him with “Hey Josh!” to which he
replied “Finally! Someone who doesn’t call me Pastor!” So I stuck with Josh.
But then of course had to stop myself and call him Pastor in front of the
teens.
DAY FOUR
-“Guacamole smash-age”
:: Megan rocked the guac. Smashing it to mush and adding
ingredients. I was banished to fly swatting and foil wrapping after I
meat-cleaver-chopped one of the watermelons. No faith man, no faith. But I didn’t lose any limbs so he
eventually let me help again. Actually learned a lot of new recipes, Mom would be proud. Cobler, cheesy potatoes, rice crispies and all that.
-“Yay, now I can play
Apples to Apples”
:: Noel and the Kansas crew arrived today. We both
immediately went “woohoo, someone who understands my references!” She totally would
have picked Jesse Jackson for the fake card but instead the award went to Dolly
Parton. I guess she could be considered as fake, some of that hair has to be synthetic.
-“Nope, no cellphone
in my pocket this time.”
:: Went down to the pool this year. Told Jim we didn’t swim
last year so we had to swim this year. This way we can stick with the every
other year tradition. Or start one at least. I got pushed in by some schoolers.
As did Katey. We picked up the ringleader and threw her in later. First time it
wasn’t Scuba Steve. He did ask if I had a cellphone in my pocket which meant it
was soon to come. Wouldn’t be my first cellphone ruined in that pool. Not my
fault. GADE man, GADE.
DAY FIVE
-“We gave it the old
college try.”
:: Past camp theme songs are good…when you remember the
verse melodies. I mean, I did, but I’m used to Liz playing them in a certain
rhythm and as she wasn’t there it threw me off a bit. But Kracke was fantastic
on the guitar so I was grateful it wasn’t acapella as my voice is shot.
-Cook everyday like
the health inspector is coming to visit.
:: I work down the street from HHS so when I saw the lanyard
I went, “crap.” First time we’d had one come in and inspect and really the only
thing wrong was the cholorine level in the pool. And that’s not us, that’s the
manager’s responsibility so she came out and fixed it. Oh, and the gravy. Apparently
he needed a wider Tupperware thing so it could cool properly. We avoided a lot because
of flail-age. He went to check the pool first so Noel and I jumped up and with Jim
threw out and dated all we needed to while Cory was the lookout. Rocked it.
-Impromptu dance
party
:: Wasn’t as big as last year, though it was a different
atmosphere inside the building instead of outside the old one. Oldest sister
and I kept selecting “Tubthumping” but they kept switching it. Sometimes I
forget how young they are until something like that happens. Then I feel old.
Much like the Apples to Apples thing.
-“Is Yoda the green
guy?”
:: Instead of our usual “Cosmo’s War of the Planets” we switched
to the Star Wars original trilogy instead. I know, I know, it’s tradition but
with the new air conditioned building it wasn’t the first one to be broken. And
there were a few who hadn’t seen the originals – sad I know – but now they are
cultured. It was sweet, had it on the projector pulled way back so the screen
was giant and speakers right next to us so it was the theater. Though I think my favorite part was after Cindy fell asleep on the air mattress next to me - we convinced her to stay - and there was that scene in 6 when they're riding the bikes through the woods. There's this line that's like "Look there's more over there!" She sat straight up, looked around, mumbled something about too many bikes, then went immediately back to sleep.
-“Even four-year-olds
can suck bubbles.”
:: More nighttime snackage, this one was during
intermission. Monday night we watched Star Wars 4, then Tuesday night we watched
5 and 6. Root Beer floats this time - Noel made me one. My cup runneth over
with bubbles. I was supposed to suck up the bubbles so we could avoid the mess
but my bubble-suckage skills are lacking and I wasn’t fast enough. Apparently
even 4 year olds can suck the bubbles so it doesn’t get all over. 20 minutes
later it ended all over the floor anyway. I put it on a bench and then that bench got
plowed over cause the bench was dark and so was the room.
DAY SIX
-Rock and Roll McDonalds.
:: Did keep one tradition with our McDonald’s lunch on Wednesday
after camp. Usually it’s just Scuba Steve, Jim and myself. This year we added
Kracke and Pastor and sat in our usual area. Chicken mcnuggets this year instead
of my usual chicken selects. It was good stuff. We attempted to count calories
but the results were too depressing.
More will be added as I remember and am reminded.
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