and a partridge in a peartree.

Jim O showing his mad tree breaking skills so Jim C. can park his camper properly. It only took then like 10 minutes to realize they needed something tall to stand on or an extended saw. Either way we got the failed efforts on tape.

The ridiculous walk-in freezer. I saw ridiculous because I've never seen anything like it before, especially at Camp J. Plus with Brenda's organization skills it made us seem semi-professional. Which is another thing you don't see often at Camp J. 

But that's cause we're a bunch of goofballs.

Speaking of goofballs, this was the first attempt at fans al-la-carte. Guess how long that strategy worked.









And last but not least was the "gotta take advantage of storage options" theory such as boxes in the shower, open oven space for tiny children, and a microwave to shove your purse into.












Those are only a few, there will be many more after Sunday.


Quote of the day:
Superwoman: You'll only win back Facebook friend status if you have a baby and I can see pictures.
Library Goddess: No! No babies anytime soon!

yeah. cause i don't already have enough stuff coming up.

Been watching a lot of olympics - you should vote in the pole on the right side. I'm hooked and will be sad when they're done though I've DVR'd enough of them to last me a while.

Watched The Closer with mom when I got home and was horribly, horribly depressed. Even though I saw it coming I was still horribly horribly depressed. Even though I knew these last few episodes are going to be tragic. Cause they have to be in order for Fritz to still be in it, but she's gone. Still going with shootout with Stroh and she dies. And then Raydor takes over.

I know I got the second part right. Or at least that's what the commercials are saying. I'm just hoping it won't suck and kill the franchise.

Turned on some old ones. Oh how I miss the moments of comedy. SALSA!

Golf tourney tomorrow, so I should sleep. Long day in our orange shirts, huzzah!
Gotta remember my camera.

And my clubs.

Unlike last time.

Woops.




because sadly it doesn't get old.

i wish it would.

2012 skits, sickness, olympics and a giant guitar.

I didn't factor in the exhaustion that appears immediately following camp into my work vacation.

I will do that next year.

Needless to say I texted Superwoman this morning - cause I knew if I called she'd laugh at my lack-of-voice. I think she secretly enjoys putting me at the desk right after camp cause I can't talk and it's amusing.

But then she had BossLady call me, so my plan failed.

And she laughed at my lack-of-voice.

I couldn't talk, I felt like crap cause I didn't sleep well, and I was just physically exhausted so I went back to sleep and woke up at 4.

PM.

After that I was fine.

And I'll be fine for tomorrow.

It's just my back that's bugging me now. Think I need to visit a chiropractor. I keep saying that but I never do, I think Sketch is getting tired of hearing it.

You said that last week.

And the week before that.

Only gotta do 8 hours tomorrow and I'm off for the golf tournament on Saturday and post-camp stuff Sunday.

After the sleep-a-thon I headed out to see the boyfriend cause I missed him. We hit up the county fair where he won me - but I helped - a neon orange giant stuffed guitar in this bulldozer vs tokens game. We didn't do any rides or anything though we did watch some lawn mower racing.

Now I'm back watching taped olympics. The Americans just won gold in women's gymnastics. Sad Jordyn couldn't make the all-around but at least she got gold for this. Cool to see Shawn Johnson in the crowd, would have been cooler if she competed but apparently she was injured. Missing Nastia Luikin as well. Next up swimming. So more Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte. Actually Lochte hasn't been all that impressive and Phelps is gonna have to pick it up if he wants more medals to be the winningest in history.

Okay, as promised, here are the skits from Camp J 2012. I'm not taking credit for any as I found them all online then tweaked them a bit to fit our camp. Maybe that's why I finished them before 2AM Thursday night.

3^rd boys: Bologna

Counselor: “Did you know that Camp Jefferson has an echo? All you have to do is yell and it will repeat what you say.”

Kid: “Let me try it. I love Camp Jefferson!”

Echo: “I love Camp Jefferson!”

Kid: “3^rd grade boys rule!”

Echo: “3^rd grade boys rule!”

Kid: “Cheese!”

Echo: “Cheese!”

Kid: “Crackers!”

Echo: “Crackers!”

Kid: “Bologna!”

Echo is silent

Counselor: “It must be broken, let me try it. I’m the greatest counselor in the world!”

Echo: “Bologna!”

3^rd/4^th girls – Yaputcha

Campers: “Counselors, is it time for Yaputcha?”

Counselors check time: “No, not time yet.”

*repeat* add check wind speed, sniff the air, look into distance

Campers: “Counselors, is it time for Yaputcha?”

Counselors: “Yes, it’s time for Yaputcha.”

*all stand up*

All: “Ya-put-ya-left hand in, ya-put-ya-left hand out…”

4th boys – Outhouse
Children in a line facing pacing father
Father: "As you know, someone has pushed the outhouse into the river.(To first son) Was it you?"
First Son: "No Father!"
Father: (To second son) "Did you push the outhouse into the river?"
Second son: "No Father!" *He asks all of them, and they all say no.*
Father: "George Washington chopped down his Father's cherry tree. He told his Father 'I can not tell a lie'. When his Father heard this, he did not punish him, but he honored him for telling the truth." Now can someone tell me who did this?"
Second son: "I cannot tell a lie either Father. It was me!"
Father: "Why you little!"
He runs up after his son and other chase them
Second son: “Father! Why are you chasing me when I told you the truth? You said George Washington did not get punished!"
Father: "George Washington's Father was not in the tree when he cut it down!!"

2 kids lay in sleeping bags, 2 other pretend to be thugs
Thugs beat up 2nd kid and run off
2nd kid: “Two thugs just came through the woods and beat me up."
1st kid: "It was just a dream, go back to sleep."
*goes back to sleep and happens again*
2nd kid: “They did it again!”
1st kid: “I told you it’s a dream. Stop being a wimp and go back to sleep!”
*goes back to sleep and it happens again*
2nd kid: “They beat me up again!”
1st kid: "Fine, if it will make you feel better, I'll switch places with you."
*thugs come back*
Thug: "This guy's had enough, let's get the other guy."
2nd Kid: "Not again!!"
1st Kid: "I'm trying to sleep over here!"

5^th Grade Girls – TV Surfing 7 kids – have kids write TV stations on signs

Counselor: “Wonder what’s on the news tonight.” *hits button*

1: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, this is Seymour Skidmarks bringing you the latest news in the world of sports. The annual football game between the Huskers and the Hawkeyes was played last week to the enjoyment of a large crowd who went wild at the crucial point during the game when Coach Pelini sent in … (click) 
2: …three eggs, a cup of buttermilk, and a pinch of salt. Stir well and pour into a flat greased pan or… (click) 
3: …your new fall hat. This year, fashion decrees that women shall wear a large variety of charm bracelets. A most popular design is to make them of… (click) 
4: …old whiskers? If you do, just shave them off with Bates’ Better Shaving Cream. Use this cream, and you will be so handsome that all the girls will… (click) 
5: …bend over and touch the floor twenty times. This exercise is superb for general reducing. All right now, again, let’s bend over, up, over… (click) 
6: …(singing) the ocean. My Bonnie lies over the sea. My Bonnie lies over the ocean, oh bring back my Bonnie to … (click) 
1: …Jim Oberlander who sailed down the field for a touchdown that tied the game. What a play! What a perfect… (click) 
3: …ly darling little summer bag that all you girls simply must have. At first glimpse they may remind you of… (click) 
7: …a bowl of soup. But it was tooooo hot. The second bowl was as hot as the first, but the third was just right. Goldilocks ate, and ate, until she could… 
4: …feel the stiff beard with your hand. Does that appear to be very romantic? Our foolproof way to get a girlfriend is to… (click) 
5: …breathe deeply four times, and pound on your chest with your fists after inhaling each breath. This enlivens the tissues and makes one feel… (click) 
2: …puffy and full of air. This effect can be had by beating the mixture with a rotary eggbeater for five… (click) 
3: …hundred years. The things our grandmothers wore then are the most popular things today. Already fashion leaders, prominent society women are trying to bring back more old-fashioned manners. Their cry is "Bring back…" (click) 
6: …(singing) my Bonnie to me, bring back, bring back, oh bring back my Bonnie to me. Bring back, bring back … (click) 
4: …a nice soft chin and a host of compliments. If you use our cream, those whiskers will come out with a … (click) 
7: …CRASH!! Goldilocks had broken the little chair all to pieces. Then she jumped up and started up the stairs. There she saw three beds. The first bed was covered with a bearskin rug, which was too soft. The second bed was covered with… (click) 
1: …what looked like crawling things from the press box, but it was only the players in hard scrimmage. We are looking forward with expectations for the Huskers and their 100^th championship this fall. The players are in good condition and average weight is… (click) 
5: …110 pounds. You, too, can weigh this much if you but follow these simple exercises. Don’t take them too hard at first or you will probably have to… (click) 
6: …(singing) lay on a pillow. Last night as I lay on my bed; last night as I lay on my pillow, I dreamed that my Bonnie was… (click) 
2: …cooking in a hot oven about 450 degrees Fahrenheit. For an extra treat, garnish, add cloves or whole… (click) 
7: …bears? Will Goldilocks get home safely? How will the story end? Keep your radio tuned to this station until tomorrow at this time for the next episode of this thrilling story. Until then kiddies, be sweet and don’t forget too… (click) 
4: …shave off the whiskers with Bates’. Our motto is… (click) 
5: …stand on your head and wave your feet in the air. Gym clothes are best for this exercise, but… (click) 
3: …an ostrich feather will do just as well. Take my tip and you girls will be as fashionable as… (click) 
1: …Greg Schwartz to whom we are looking for great things this year. This is your friendly announcer, Seymour Skidmarks signing off and saying… (click) 
3: …Buh-bye!

6^th Boys – Tankety Tank Tank

*a group of campers are standing around at boot camp and another camper - the drill sergeant - strides onto the scene.*

Drill Sergeant: ATTENTION!

*The campers scurry into line and salute.*

Drill Sergeant: Today, we'll be doing a war simulation. Get your equipment and MOVE OUT!

*The campers run to the box on the middle of the stage filled with fake weapons. When the last camper arrives there are none left.*

Drill Sergeant: Private Zammerman, I'm afraid we're short on supplies. Seeing as how your name is last on my list, you will not be receiving a gun or knife.

Private Zammerman: Awwww...

Drill Sergeant: However, the troops take their training very seriously and if you pretend to shoot or stab them they will play along. Now MOVE OUT!

*The campers line up in a single file line, all facing Private Zammerman who's at the opposite side of the stage

the first camper holds up a gun. Private Zammerman holds up an imaginary gun at the camper and says...*

Private Zammerman: Bangity-Bang-Bang!

*The camper acts as if shot and falls onto the ground.

Next camper steps up, this time holding a knife. Zammerman holds up an imaginary knife and points it at the camper while saying...*

Zammerman: Stabbity-stab-stab!

*The camper acts as if stabbed and falls to the ground.

Cleaver – Choppity-chop-chop

Sword – Slicity-slice-slice

Nunchucks – Whooshity-whoosh-whoosh

The last camper slowly approaches Zammerman in a straight line.*

Zammerman: Bangity-bang-bang!

*The camper ignores the shot and keeps approaching Zammerman*

Zammerman: Stabbity-stab-stab!

*still nothing*

Zammerman: Zappity-Zap-Zap!...Slicety-Slice-Slice!...Choppity-chop-chop!

*The camper pushes Zammerman over and walks passed him.*

Zammerman: Hey! What do you think you're doing?!

*The camper turns, faces Zammerman and YELLS...*

Kid: TANKETY-TANK-TANK! TANKETY-TANK-TANK!

*then keeps walking*

6^th grade girls – Enlarging Machine

1 scientist, 1 machine worker, 1 baby, 1 business person, 1 little girl, 6 passersby

Scientist: I, Madison Einstein, after many years of intense research have created my masterpiece. An enlarging machine! With this device, what goes in comes out twice its size.

1: What’s this?

Scientist: It’s an enlarging machine.

1: What’s it do?

Scientist: Well, you put something in here, and it comes out here greatly enlarged!

1: Can I try?

Scientist: Sure, but be careful!

*throws in a twig, big stick comes out*

Same thing again with

-coin - dollar

-ping pong - softball

-hairbrush - broom

-lifesaver – hula hoop

-kid with pebbles, “stop that!” gets hit in head by a big rock

Businessman: What is this contraption? Why did you put it here? Can’t you see I’m trying to get to work? Do you even have a license for this thing? It’s a piece of junk, it belongs in a dump!

*spits into machine gets bucket of water dumped on head*

Little Girl: What’s that?

Scientist: It’s an enlarging machine, don’t touch it!

Little Girl: What’s it do?

Scientist: It enlarges things. Leave me alone!

Little girl: *sticks tongue out and throws baby doll in it*

Scientist: What have you done? Oh no, my machine! My enlarging machine!

*baby comes out and chases scientist*

Baby: Mama! Mama! Mama!

and last but not least 7th and 8th grade girls and boys HeeHaw verses, sang between all the other skits, alternating sides and including the refrain in each. 

You liked to save on things for the house dear

It was something that I could not understand

But now I know why you never bought dishes

You wanted me to eat out of your hand

When I look at you I get melancholy

You make me feel like a bump on a log

You’re not for real, I mean it by golly

A head like a melon and a face like a dog.

All of my money you’re spending on makeup

You’re trying to look like those Hollywood greats

Your mouth is too big and your nose really matches

Your eyes are so lovely too bad their not mates

I brought you a saw to save time wood-cutting

I thought cutting logs you’d get to enjoy

You said it’s too hard to work this contraption

I pulled the starter, you said what’s that noise?

The morning I felt our love start to weaken

I said to myself well I’ll grow a beard.

But that didn’t get the love I was seeking

You started laughing and said I looked weird.

Your old uncle Fudd thought he was an airplane

Went to the airfield and set off alarms

He tried to take off and fly ‘cross the ocean

With twelve bald eagles scotch taped to his arms

My daughter said John asked me to marry

I said go ahead with my blessing too

She said daddy dear how can I leave mother

That suits me fine dear just take her with you

When you went away you took my heart with you

I’ve been so upset I’m losing my head

I miss you all day I’m worse in the evening

Can’t sleep a wink now cause you took the bed

The neighbors know well the reason we broke up

I found out the way you got your enjoys

You used to send back the gifts I would send you

But you would keep the delivery boy

Where oh where are you tonight?

Why did you leave me here all alone?

I searched the world over and thought I found true love.

You met another and *pbbt* you was gone. 

Camp J 2012 Highlights

This year's highlights.
For last year's go here: Camp J 2011

Thursday:

-Hangin’ with the cool kid

:: My fellow lifers couldn’t make it tonight so I jammed with one of their little brothers. He’s a cool kid, pretty funny and really interested in camp stuff. Helped carry mattresses across camp, took pictures of the walk-in freezer, helped with pre-registration stuff. When we get there Thursday night one of the first things we do is make sure every cabin has a fan and do a mattress count to make sure we have space for everyone. He volunteered us to do the girls side. I’d never seen someone so excited to check more cabins and deliver more fans – the boys side only has 4 cabins while the girls has 7. His reason? He’d never seen the inside of the Mary Lee cabin. That’s the giant one way on the far east side. So we did our fan deliveries and mattress counts, then set up some tents for the extra boys. Oh the joys of working with the Jim’s.

-“What is wrong with this picture?”

:: So, usually I’m up until like 2AM writing skits on Thursday night. Camp starts Friday morning and our first session is at like 1PM, but I find my greatest skits are written at 2AM. Apparently that’s when the creative genius kicks in. Anyway, finished them before 10 tonight. It was crazy, all I had left was to print them off. My only freakout moment was when I ran out of black ink, but I found a way around that, the cheater’s way I printed them in color. I’ll get more ink tomorrow morning before the kids get here.

Breakfast at 8, Walmart trip at 9, Counselor meeting at 10:30, Campers arrive at 11:30.

DAY ONE:

-“Buzz the Lightyear”

:: Walmart runs rock. Except of course when you forget the ink cartridges you were going there for in the first place. But that’s cool, I’ll get them later. Not on our list but we bought them anyway were some super sweet flashlights. I’ll get to the headlamps later, but Megan found these sweet Buzz Lightyear and princess flashlights that were also lanterns. Jim O wanted the princess one so Megan took the “Buzz the Lightyear” one.

-“I hear the nerds.”

:: Also not on our Walmart list were the 100 Sci-Fi classic movie collection and massive stock of candies. Nerds being one of them. The quote came after hitting a bump on the ride back.

-“Eh, they signed a waiver.”

:: This was the theme for camp this year. Well, Jim and my theme for camp this year. The actual theme was “The Ultimate Transformer” and as it is a religious camp there was much talk of transformation with Christ. But I quoted our theme probably three times a day, every day - basically whenever there was some sort of emergency, or the possibility of some sort of emergency. I mean, we fixed the problems because we’re good people, but there’s always that joking moment when poles fall off buildings or children come in with bloody noses after getting hit in the face with a ball where you sit back and ask, “they signed a waiver that covered that right?” “yeah, we’re good.”

-Ninja flyswatter

:: We made weapons at camp this year. Again. We being myself and the people keeping me sane aka Katey, Ryan, Jim, Liz, Steve and Pastor. We made a sword and a knife and a cleaver. If it makes you feel any better they were for a skit. Tankety-tank-tank to be exact. I used the skit previously so you could either find it on here now or wait until I post it tomorrow. I wanted to make a lightsaber and throw in a “force-ity force-force” but didn’t have the necessary ingredients to pull it off. The “Ninja Flyswatter” was our original sword, a skewer covered in foil. Turns out the only thing it was good at killing was flies so we gave it to Pastor and a made a new one out of cardboard.

-Purse in the microwave

:: Sleeping in Oldest Sister’s camper was the bomb, for serious. Megan and I joined her instead of sleeping in our usual tent or the un-air-conditioned storm shelter. In a camper you “gotta take advantage of storage options.” As we were plugged in for air conditioning but didn’t plan on doing any cooking that left the oven and microwave available for storage. Megan took advantage and shoved her purse in the microwave. Then took a picture. I have one as well, look for that later in the week. She’s always highly amusing so her camper tour was hilarious. “I already told you I broke it, why are you surprised?”

-“Those are gonna be some weirdass rashes”

:: Flashbacks to the port-a-potty year. Megan and I were explaining to Oldest Sister our exploits from Camp J 2010 – aka the “we pooped in a bucket and you can too” year- one such exploit involved not finding/using the port-a-potties until nightfall when we couldn’t see and of course didn’t have flashlights with us. Darkness in a port-a-potty makes it even more awkward so we made some commentary "not a sink, don't touch that", then realized how close we were to a cabin. “We’re commentating their dreams.” “Those are gonna be some weirdass dreams.” Oldest Sister said if we couldn’t have found the port-a-potties – so if Judy wasn’t there to point her flashlight in their general direction when we asked at like 11PM – we could have squatted by a tree. HOWEVER, there is poison ivy by those trees so instead of “those are gonna be some weirdass dreams” it became “those are gonna be some weirdass rashes.”

-“Night Patrol Anonymous”

:: Megan and I pulled night patrol. Was glad to have someone with me this year. We were pretty stoked cause on the Walmart run this morning we found these sweet Cars headlamps, like they were red and had McQueen on them and you put them on your head and hit the button and they rocked. So we went around at night, turned them off when we got close to the cabins, snuck up to the windows of the cabins still up past lights out, and turned them on right up against the windows. They screamed and we rejoiced. The best part was they were super bright so they couldn’t see who was wearing them. “Who are you guys?” “It’s night patrol anonymous, we don’t have names.” “Aren’t you the lifeguard and that music lady?” “Crap.”

-“They stole my weed, Megan bawls.”

:: More flashbacks, this time to a Delayed…Reaction reference based on yet another experience with Megan and Bethany. Whilst on our way to the tent like 3 years ago Megan almost walked into the weeds that could have led to the “those would have been some weirdass rashes” therein came the phrase “Avoid the weed!” We do a lot of cheering when we bowl at teen camp so when Megan went up I yelled “Avoid the weed!” and she fell and lost it. In the song it became “Avoid the weed! Megan falls.” This year we realized that all of that weed was gone. Camp got a makeover and apparently that was a part of it. So now it’s “They stole my weed! Megan Bawls.”

DAY TWO

-“And you thought your name was bad.”

:: Catalina Madelina definitely earns the weirdest name award. Campfire songs are always fun. Unless they are the sheep song. I don’t want to be a sheep. I don’t want to baa, baa, baa, or baa. I also don’t want to have the song stuck in my head throughout the entire camp experience. It was so bad that Megan and I were like pseudo-napping and we both ended up singing it pre-teen camp instead of sleeping and I kept singing it on and off all the way until now. Not again.

-“No her name was not “Mary Again”

:: When looking for a woman’s name in the bible and you can’t find it Mary is a safe bet. This year instead of tubing we went with more crafts, more swimming, more games and bible trivia. Pastor led the trivia and there was a lot of stuff I had no idea about. Like who Timothy’s mother and grandmother were.

-Get down with the sickness.

:: It was about mid-day when I got word that one of our counselors was feeling sick and was down for the count. Shortly after his teen helper came down with the same one and we were freaked we’d have to send the kids home or quarantine them. Instead our head nurse and her mother sanitized the place top to bottom twice. And it must have worked cause that was all we heard of it. Though they did pilfer one of my teen helpers to cover, blah. 

-“That’s not part of the snack”

:: Every year we feed the kids snacks before bedtime. Pastor announced this after campfire right after he announced that anyone who had medications needed to stop by and get them before bed. Shortly after he included, “that’s not part of the snack.”

DAY THREE

-“And *pbbt* you was gone.”

:: Actually remembered to alternate the skits with the 7^th and 8^th graders singing. Last year I forgot until after like the 5^th grade skit and instead I went with the verses all together instead. Had a lot of great verses this year, though nothing can top this one:

I’ll post this year’s tomorrow.

-With a “wet stone”

:: Yet another never ending stuck in your head song was the ever popular “There’s a Hole in the Bucket”. We told the boys to enjoy it while it lasts cause it’s the only last word they’ll ever get.  Joel – our new guitar guy – threw in the quotations hand gesture while saying “wet stone” cause really, what is a wet stone? Does it have to be wet in order to sharpen things? Totally changes the song, I’m adding the quote gesture to my list of actions. Maybe I should add in “then google it, dear Henry.” as a final verse. I used to finish with “use the other one” but then Kracke came back with “we’re poor, we can’t afford another bucket.”

-“To be fair I did say avoid the parents.”

:: I guess tiny children weren’t included in that statement so when one of the skits involved throwing a bucket of water on one of the campers the majority of it ended up on one of the little kids in the audience. Needless to say she wasn’t happy.

 -“Eat a lotta, eat a lotta, eat a lotta pizza.”

:: Oh the more joys of campfire music. It truly is the joy that never ends. Just keeps on giving. Especially whilst shelving in the jNonfiction section. I sang a lot in that corner. This one was a variation of one we already knew, and for some reason – okay it was my fault – the kids started singing it so they would smile when the parents were taking their group pictures. I’m sure Mom will send me copies within the next few days. Unless she’s already sent them through email.

-“Jo-Pastor!”

:: Gotta remember to watch myself when calling Pastor “Josh” as the kids really don’t. I heard somewhere that if the pastor isn’t yours you can call them by their first name, and since I was used to hearing him being addressed as Josh about 3 years ago I greeted him with “Hey Josh!” to which he replied “Finally! Someone who doesn’t call me Pastor!” So I stuck with Josh. But then of course had to stop myself and call him Pastor in front of the teens.

DAY FOUR

-“Guacamole smash-age”

:: Megan rocked the guac. Smashing it to mush and adding ingredients. I was banished to fly swatting and foil wrapping after I meat-cleaver-chopped one of the watermelons. No faith man, no faith. But I didn’t lose any limbs so he eventually let me help again. Actually learned a lot of new recipes, Mom would be proud. Cobler, cheesy potatoes, rice crispies and all that. 

-“Yay, now I can play Apples to Apples”

:: Noel and the Kansas crew arrived today. We both immediately went “woohoo, someone who understands my references!” She totally would have picked Jesse Jackson for the fake card but instead the award went to Dolly Parton. I guess she could be considered as fake, some of that hair has to be synthetic. 

-“Nope, no cellphone in my pocket this time.”

:: Went down to the pool this year. Told Jim we didn’t swim last year so we had to swim this year. This way we can stick with the every other year tradition. Or start one at least. I got pushed in by some schoolers. As did Katey. We picked up the ringleader and threw her in later. First time it wasn’t Scuba Steve. He did ask if I had a cellphone in my pocket which meant it was soon to come. Wouldn’t be my first cellphone ruined in that pool. Not my fault. GADE man, GADE.

DAY FIVE

-“We gave it the old college try.”

:: Past camp theme songs are good…when you remember the verse melodies. I mean, I did, but I’m used to Liz playing them in a certain rhythm and as she wasn’t there it threw me off a bit. But Kracke was fantastic on the guitar so I was grateful it wasn’t acapella as my voice is shot.

-Cook everyday like the health inspector is coming to visit.

:: I work down the street from HHS so when I saw the lanyard I went, “crap.” First time we’d had one come in and inspect and really the only thing wrong was the cholorine level in the pool. And that’s not us, that’s the manager’s responsibility so she came out and fixed it. Oh, and the gravy. Apparently he needed a wider Tupperware thing so it could cool properly. We avoided a lot because of flail-age. He went to check the pool first so Noel and I jumped up and with Jim threw out and dated all we needed to while Cory was the lookout. Rocked it.

-Impromptu dance party

:: Wasn’t as big as last year, though it was a different atmosphere inside the building instead of outside the old one. Oldest sister and I kept selecting “Tubthumping” but they kept switching it. Sometimes I forget how young they are until something like that happens. Then I feel old. Much like the Apples to Apples thing.

-“Is Yoda the green guy?”

:: Instead of our usual “Cosmo’s War of the Planets” we switched to the Star Wars original trilogy instead. I know, I know, it’s tradition but with the new air conditioned building it wasn’t the first one to be broken. And there were a few who hadn’t seen the originals – sad I know – but now they are cultured. It was sweet, had it on the projector pulled way back so the screen was giant and speakers right next to us so it was the theater. Though I think my favorite part was after Cindy fell asleep on the air mattress next to me - we convinced her to stay - and there was that scene in 6 when they're riding the bikes through the woods. There's this line that's like "Look there's more over there!" She sat straight up, looked around, mumbled something about too many bikes, then went immediately back to sleep. 

-“Even four-year-olds can suck bubbles.­”

:: More nighttime snackage, this one was during intermission. Monday night we watched Star Wars 4, then Tuesday night we watched 5 and 6. Root Beer floats this time - Noel made me one. My cup runneth over with bubbles. I was supposed to suck up the bubbles so we could avoid the mess but my bubble-suckage skills are lacking and I wasn’t fast enough. Apparently even 4 year olds can suck the bubbles so it doesn’t get all over. 20 minutes later it ended all over the floor anyway.  I put it on a bench and then that bench got plowed over cause the bench was dark and so was the room.

DAY SIX

-Rock and Roll McDonalds.

:: Did keep one tradition with our McDonald’s lunch on Wednesday after camp. Usually it’s just Scuba Steve, Jim and myself. This year we added Kracke and Pastor and sat in our usual area. Chicken mcnuggets this year instead of my usual chicken selects. It was good stuff. We attempted to count calories but the results were too depressing.

More will be added as I remember and am reminded. 

so you better get this party started.

To whoever got to my blog by searching "granola superfly" I salute you.

Is it whoever or whomever?

I know, I'm an English major but I'm too tired to function correctly.

But it's worth it cause I shockingly am done with all my skits.

I know, right?! What is wrong with this picture?

I'm like in shock. Usually I don't finish them until Thursday night at like 2AM.

Actually I usually don't START half of them until Thursday night at 2AM. All I have left to do is print them all out and I can do that tomorrow when I get there.

Sad fact, I have to use the list I created for counselors and campers to remember what to pack.

To be fair we did make it years ago, but I look it over every year. It's the little things like shower shoes that I don't wanna forget.

Still haven't started packing yet, figured skits should be the priority this year. Last year I was all stressed out and freaked they weren't gonna get done. We do have some good ones this year. Bringing back tankety-tank-tank, thinking of bringing back the original Zammerman to play the drill sergeant since he's coming back as a teen helper this year. Go here: Tankety Tank Tank

The HeeHaw verses are fantastic and I still have plenty of them to choose from next year. Just gotta remember to have them go between other skits, unlike last year when I didn't realize I'd forgotten that part until after like the 5th grade skits. Woops.

But they did them all together at the end.

Hopefully we'll have the service inside and they'll actually be able to hear them. Every year the microphones pick up the wind and the people are too far back - we're Lutherans, there is no sitting in the front row now matter where the service takes place.

Alright, this will be my last post for a while. I'm sure I'll overload you when I get back.

Food day plus some food for winning the food drive competition, so lots of food tomorrow morning. Gotta remember to grab some fruit before I leave.

Hope queen of the known universe brings her awesome dip. That stuff rocks, gonna have to buy the mix. Though that would involve cooking and that' not exactly my strongpoint. I can put peanut butter onto celery, make sandwiches and add milk to cereal, throw some fruit into the blender for a smoothie but that's about it.

Alright, officially going to crash.

Gonna be mad at myself tomorrow morning. This post will say it's 11:50, at the moment is way passed 12. Actually passed 1. But that's okay cause I'm done with my skits so it's worth it.

You have no idea how weird it is to have them all done. Usually I still have yet to pick out half of them.

I blame it on the fact that I don't have my final numbers yet, which I don't. Got a phone call today from a kid wanting to know if they could still go. Which is fine cause that grade I didn't have to tweak anything. She's in 8th and I'm making them sing HeeHaw so it doesn't matter how big the group becomes. As long as they sing and sing loud.

Alright, moving on. Square!

You can add "Marry Me" the Glee cast version to my ever-growing list of songs Carter hates.

Met up with mom so she could take him while I'm gone.

For some bizarre reason he was actually okay with this one.

might be my new jam.

well, old jam brought back from the dead.

love the video, for serious cool stuff.

Alright, I'm out.

Have a good night/morning/day/whenever you're reading this

Anywhere you go I'll follow you down...

Okay.

The boyfriend is the official spider killer.

Cause we watched Arachnophobia and now I'm all paranoid.

Bad time to watch it for the first time as soon I'm off to camp for a week.

And there are bugs everywhere.

For once I'm grateful that I have a spaz for a cat.

Any little bug he's all over it, batting it around.

So he gets to sleep on my stomach tonight with no complaints from me.

Today was pretty big.

Promotion without the pay raise.

So I guess it's less of a promotion and more of a let's add more stress to CK's workload.

Wasn't the goal for this fall to have less stuff going on in life?

Working 40 hours, 3 master's classes, grad assistantship, boyfriend, camp fallout...I'm sure there's more but I'm blocking it out until after camp.

Anyway, more on the non-promotion later. When everything is official and all that.

Food Drive people came to pick up the barrels today. And I sent in all the proceeds from our loose change milkjugs so I am officially done!! Woohoo! Last year and everything, it's all on my apprentice now.

Lots more compliments on the food drive sculpture competition, most notably from our head of IT. He was in charge of the food drive a few years ago, said this brought in much more donations.

What else at work?

Updated the TAB form. Had a girl come in this morning specifically asking for one. That means I'm up to like 6 new members and all the paperwork to go with it.

Oh yeah, debated peaches vs. nectarines with big brother. I brought a peach this morning but big brother claimed it was a nectarine. Fearless Leader was the judge and confirmed the peach theory. But said it was a "low-fuzz peach" so it looked like a nectarine.

Didn't really matter as it tasted like crap so I didn't eat the whole thing anyway.

After work I headed out to the boyfriend's place. Drove around for a while, went to Walmart to pick up some stuff, then watched the movie.

Seriously paranoid.

Does anyone else get all itchy when they watch a movie about bugs or is that just me?

Alright, gotta sleep now.

Huge day tomorrow, gotta take Carter to the farmhouse, then gotta get back to write the rest of my skits and start packing, then on Thursday I'll be ready to go after work and will have time to grab all the stuff I will have forgotten to pack tomorrow.

Cause there's always something I'll forget.

Need the DVD's for teen camp.

Printer for skits.

Registration paperwork and lineup for counselors.

Print off the emailed registrations from the panicked mother that called me today.

It's not often you check your mail and cheer when you don't get any letters.

Woohoo!

Though there's still tomorrow.

And Thursday before I leave.

Wouldn't be the first time.

Or the first year that kids just show up without registering at all.

That's why we have air mattresses.

And tents.

Which we're going to have to use for the second year in the row for the 4th grade boys.

But they fight over the spots in the tent so they'll be fine.

Alright, now really gotta crash. Turn on some Wipeout and wipeout myself.

Song you know but forgot you knew it:

"Follow You Down" Gin Blossoms





EDIT:

forgot to add this one, nutzo the squirrel made a repeat appearance.



what was more amusing were the 8 people - security guard and patron included - gathering around the window taking pictures of him.

"Cook with shoes on."

And we're done!!

Food Drive barrels are delivered to the branches to be picked up tomorrow morning, loose change milkjugs are counted, thank you's are sent out, and winners are determined.

Big day.

Proud to say the work branch dominated and won for most creative sculpture. The New Girl and Fearless Leader built a Very Hungry Caterpillar that represented the library and the food bank so the judges liked it.

We actually tied twice, once for the most donated - exact same amount as a different branch - and then again for most creative. We had to flip a coin - well, our fabulous Administrative Aide flipped the coin. I enjoy the third floorians, they are highly amusing and save me on multiple occasions per week.

They find it funny that I was coordinator for the Food Drive but I can't cook.

I told them my burned grilled cheese/slashed foot open story and their response was to "cook with shoes on."

If you haven't heard it go here: My Life in Closed Captions: Sketch and Edit Make Grilled Cheese

So, she flipped the coin, then I went in to talk to Boss's Boss's Boss as she is supplying the prizes.

She debated about what they should be, I said snackage was popular, but City/County is on this wellness kick so she thought baked goods would be bad for you.

I'll keep it a secret for now, though they'll figure it out on Thursday.

Since she's on a wellness kick, instead of the usual dishes of candy on her desk now she has bracelets and paperclips.

I got a Z bracelet.

It's pretty nifty.

I'm sure all my camp kids will be jealous.

So yes, I'm done. Made the winner announcements through email, got the smart people to upload all the pictures to the library's Facebook page, thanked the judges repeatedly, and gave a heads-up to the main people that the barrels are ready to be picked up.

Apparently we did pretty well cause we got the supervisors approval.

They were impressed with our sculpture idea and that it actually worked.

The branches got pretty into it so that was good. I was worried they'd think it was lame, but we had a caterpillar, a man walking a dog and cat, a hot air balloon, a robot, a castle... they were pretty impressive.

So, after all that and the joy that is the library came writing skits.

I'm almost done, basically just have 3 left. And they're all for small groups, which is interesting, cause it's usually bigger groups that I have trouble writing/finding for.

Sketch knows me far too well.

"I hate skits."
"You don't hate them, you love them, you hate trying to write them."

But I'm bringing back some of the classics, tankety-tank-tank, heehaw, enlarging machine, so that took care of a few of them.

Tomorrow I'm heading out to see the boyfriend, Wednesday I'm taking the cat to the farmhouse, and Thursday I'm headed to camp so I'm gonna be working on the rest of them over lunch breaks. I have some ideas just nothing finalized. It won't take too long.

And if all else fails I'll wait 'til Thursday night - like usual - and get ideas from the counselors who show up early.

Camp doesn't start until Friday with a mandatory counselor meeting in the morning before registration, but a bunch of us go out there early to get stuff set up.

I'm sure you'll get a giant entry when I get back, similar to last year's: My Life in Closed Captions: Camp J 2011 Highlights

And a list of skits the next day.

Alright, out for the night.

Song of the day:


"Brain Stew/Jaded" Green Day

on my own, here we go.



UNITY....

don't hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself...

Saw some old friends at church this morning.

Kid I grew up with who's getting married soon and my Delayed...Reaction partner who is going to make a teen camp appearance, but just for a day. Probably not enough time to write a song and film it, but it'll still be fun to jam out for a while. 

We didn't write a song last year, as he is all grown up and married now I'll have to find a new partner and revamp D...R. 

Cause it's just not D...R without him. 

He's the Hamilton to my Jane Fraser, seriously man. 

Anyway, after that was the extended family extravaganza. 

And I'm awful because I could maybe tell you the names of about 10 people there total and they all sat at my table. 

Except my great aunt. 

But we had fun, joked around with my brother, favorite (and only) sister-in-law and their kids, plus my mentor, parentals, and my uncle the artist and his wife. 

Gotta send a shout-out his way as he actually reads this thing. 

Got some good advice from him and his wife today about the stress madness that will be this fall/spring. 

I'll get through it, got a lot of people rooting for me. 

After that it was all HeeHaw. 

For serious, I went home and worked on skits and then Dad got there and was like, "I taped a bunch of HeeHaw episodes and have them set up for you."

He neglected to mention that "a bunch" meant 62 episodes, all set so that when I hit play they immediately started the "where oh where" skit. 

He either really loves me or he really loves HeeHaw. 

I got through about half of them and left with about 15 minutes of HeeHaw recordings on my phone. 

It would have been 20 but my phone went, "seriously?" and decided to freeze instead. 

Anyway, spent about an hour listening and typing them up, plus transcribing the ones that Dad had already written out. 

I didn't know it was possible to have worse handwriting than my own. 

Even Mentor makes fun of my handwriting and she was the one that taught me how to write in the first place!!

My Kindergarten-like 3rd grade teacher (plus art and english after that) now turned fellow camp Skits & Worship leader. 

Who keeps wanting to pass the baton, but I will have none of it. 

Cause she will forever be the mentor. 

We attempted to write a song last year and ended up with just another verse to "Oh Lord of Light". 

You can read 2G's version of that here: My Life in Closed Captions: 2G's version of Oh Lord of Light

Not the one we taught the kids, but it's the one that 2G took away from the experience. 

Speaking of 2G, the golf tourney is quickly approaching. It's on man, we practiced and everything. I even bought some tall tees and bright yellow Spongebob golf balls. 

Because he annoys me which will motivate me to beat him to a pulp and hit him farther. 

Alright, I'm all skits'd out. I'll finish them tomorrow. 

Or the next day. 

Or Thursday night like always. 

But that's okay cause I'll be there earlier this year and I'll bring my printer like last year. So much easier to pass out copies when you have more than one. 

"Keep Your Hands To Yourself" Georgia Satellites

song just reminds me of Sweet Home Alabama

"you have a baby. in a bar."

Gonna turn on some Wipeout and crash. 

Ha.

You can take the girl out of the honky tonk, but you can't take the honky tonk out of the girl.

Well, the party never stops on Selina Kyle's answering machine.

Saw the Dark Knight Rises tonight.



Was pretty good.

A little long, but pretty good.

Scale of Awesome says about a 8.5/10.

The boyfriend predicted the ending, of course. He does that a lot cause he's smart like that.

But I liked it.

Spoiler alert so if you don't want them then don't read them.

Brought a lot of past characters into this one so that was amusing. Though their choice of villain was a little random. I was expecting him to be scarier, his voice threw me off. I thought it would be deeper and more threatening.

But then again Christian Bale's voice is supposed to be all deep and threatening so maybe they decided to go a different way.

Interesting twist that Catwoman was actually not such a bad chick in this one.

And Anne Hathaway pulled the role off, despite her earlier rejection of the character.

She thought that Michelle Pfeiffer was the ultimate Catwoman, and initially thought she would play someone else.

But she did alright. The thought of her and Steve Carell as action stars made me laugh in Get Smart, but actually she can be pretty badass. Even as Agent 99.

Christian Bale was great as always. I like this interpretation of the Batman series, though I wish there would be more. Especially with the way they ended it.

Glad they brought back the whole cast in this one, unlike the Katie Holmes vs. Maggie Gyllenhaal with the other two.

Anyway, I'd see it again before it leaves the theater.

I'm a big fan of Joseph Gordon Levitt so it was cool to see him in this one.

Apparently it was like an Inception reunion, which of course I haven't seen. Me being the only person on the planet, I know, it's on my list.

It did amuse me greatly that Will Lamontagne was Bane's right hand man.

Alright, had a big day. Went around to take pictures of all the sculptures. One judge has already placed their vote, just waiting on the second and then the Library Director's if it's a tie.

All I have left for that is to pick everything up on Monday, send in the stuff and I'm done!

After that it was camp central but we got a lot done and now all I have to do is write skits.

And fast as I leave like Thursday.

Only like 6 to write, I can do that. I'll come up with something.

Church tomorrow and a reunion so I should crash.

Every time I come home there seems to be something going on.

Geez man, Grand Central Station.

"Bad Case of Loving You" Robert Palmer




OUT!

here with you, here with me.

Damnit, Hardison!

Finally caught up on Leverage. Finished the fourth season whilst working on camp stuff.

That's called multi-tasking.

Now I'm on to Wipeout so I can sleep.

Gotta say, I miss Jill but really don't mind this Lachey chick so much. Though I did totally miss that he got remarried.

Not that I was big into 98 degrees. More about the Spice Girls and NSync.

Today seemed to fly by, that's probably cause I got to sleep in and didn't go in until noon. Woohoo!

Was a quiet day, not sure if it was caused by the Batman movie tragedy or the weather. Either totally suck.

I haven't checked on it for a while, did he explain why he did it?

Other than the fact that he's the Joker?

The role only belongs to one man and he's already dead.

Stuff like that is awful. I just don't understand it.

My cat keeps biting me.

I know that that problem is small potatoes compared to what else is going on in the world but it's still obnoxious.

The water bottle did work for a while but now he's not phased.

It's annoying.

Excited for the shortened day tomorrow, mostly cause I get to take pictures of the Food Drive sculptures. Cause I'm nerdy like that. Will probably upload some if possible.

After that it'll be more camp stuff.

I know this post is total crap, I'm sure I'll have plenty of quotes tomorrow.

I'm on it.

Just for you.

Here, have some more useless information:

-X's on letters originated as crosses back in the 1000's. When lords would sign their names they would kiss the cross after signing to signify they were faithful to god and their king. Over time it slanted to x's.

-Each deck of cards represents a major pillar or economy in the Middle Ages: Heart is church, Spades is military, Clubs agriculture and Diamonds merchants.

-Most of American car horns honk in the key of F.

-Most toilets flush in E flat.

-It is estimated that millions of trees are accidentally planted by squirrels who bury acorns and forget where they buried them.

-There are three other versions under the current Mona Lisa.

-There is such thing as coffee-flavored PEZ.

-Honey is the only food that won't spoil.

-According to US laws a beer commercial can never show a person actually drinking a beer.

I'm doubtful about that last one, but come to think of it I don't remember anyone drinking one during a 30 second segment.

Will have to look into that.

And here's some fun quotes from Rocket Power just cause I can

-"that should be on the to-don't list."
-"you're like a sixth finger. it just gets in the way and it's kinda freakish."
-"i pulled a bobby brady, dude!"



could have sworn this one was titled "these are the moments" but maybe that's just cause it was our prom theme.

or cause she repeats it a lot.

yes, prom theme.

the one the boyfriend took me to senior year.

drove the tbird as it's his favorite.

i like the vette, but me and my then boyfriend drove it the year before so had to switch it up.

he lived in fear of my mother driving his car back to his house.

he's kind of a car nut.

but that's okay, i like my boys geeky.

Speaking of geeks I should crash while I can. Big day tomorrow.

Hey, Macarena.

Quote of the day:

Overheard at the library: "We've got nuts."

Yes, we do.

Got my evaluation today.

And a raise.

Apparently I have confidence.

And bring personality to the job.

Told you.

Mad skills.

Just stoked I get to keep my TAB kids and all that.

More time in the basement today looking for tools. But it didn't take long to install the other organizers once we got the mallet in play. Yay!

Cleaned out a couple of desks, can actually find things now so that's helpful.

Spent some time on third using the guillotine. They sent me back with food. I work on the wrong floor, seriously.

Made some progress on the new booklist as well.

So it was a pretty productive day.

Stoked to sleep in tomorrow morning, but in order for that to happen I need to actually sleep first.

Song of the night and I'm out:

"Take Your Mama Out" Brown Derbies


i did give your forewarning there would be more.

i especially love the random macarena. that's fantastic.

Where do you think you're going, baby?

Sometimes I forget that people I know read this thing.

Don't worry, it won't happen again.

Today was great.

Literally great.

Had a lot of fun, especially with the awesome females in the building. Not that my male coworkers weren't fun, there was just a lot of random female bonding throughout the day.

Mostly about frustration.

Um, see I'm in charge of supplies and BossLady had me order some of those drawer organizer things with the compartments. And they came in and we have three of them. So we went to install the first one and realized that it was too big to fit in the drawer.

Even though we measured before we ordered them. I guess the edges were too thick.

I wanted to go grab the mallet that's in the cabinet and just make them fit but she refused.

Boo.

Instead she found a way to get rid of the back side of the drawer so it would fit.

Unfortunately, in order to take that side off we'd need a philip's head screwdriver which according to the Little Shelver Boy didn't exist in the building as he had looked previously.

But we were on a mission, and I had to find one - mostly because he told me we wouldn't - so we searched the headquarters of Buildings and Grounds. When we had a Buildings and Grounds crew. Which now we don't so it's like the former headquarters. And it's like a tool junkies dream. Except it's a pit so BossLady and I are thinking about cleaning it out.

Cause that would be fun.

Yes, we're weird like that.

Anyway, so we searched the place high and low - literally - and it's seriously a tool shop. It's storage for shelves and pretty much everything electric, but there was a not a single phillip's head screwdriver in the entire room.

Rooms.

So, as I wouldn't admit defeat, I ran - well road - upstairs to the fantastic people on the third floor and asked if they had any.

And they did!

Saved me.

They do that a lot.

I go up there probably twice daily flailing mostly about supplies, but a lot of Summer Reading stuff as well.

Anyway, so I grabbed a couple, brought them down, BossLady took off the back part and it still wouldn't fit cause there were like brackets. And you can't take off the brackets cause you need them to hold the metal things.

Then, as fate would have it, at that exact moment one of my flailees - aka the magician - walks by, and she knew about the organizers cause she's my supply supervisor who I order everything through and she's like "you pull and i'll push" and they barely got it to fit, then smashed it in and claimed victory.

I was sad I couldn't use the mallet but hey, it works.

And now we get to do two more tomorrow morning.

Cause just the one took an hour.

Also tomorrow my fate is decided, sort of, as they're going over my evaluation with me.

So I probably shouldn't talk about it now.

Though it wasn't bad, but still should probably wait on that.

After that whole escapade came the awesomeness that is Fearless Leader and me figuring out damages stuff.
Cause there's a process and we're changing things. I'll get to that more later.

Anyway, she's leaving so she's passing off all her smarts to me. Tricks of the trade. I will seriously miss that woman, she's great. And we're all crying inside, even the ones upstairs who don't work with her on a regular basis.

But we're making booze cakes again before she leaves so we're sending her out in style.

After work it was more camp stuff. 4 phone calls in 2 hours, plus a bunch of emails and crap! I still gotta upload that graphic, woops. Do that when I post this.

I'm trying to assemble some skits, I kind of have working numbers now since camp is like, holy crap soon, anyway I always put them off until last minute and I have enough crap to deal with once I'm there so I need to get at least half done by the end of the week.

People are requesting the repeat of Tankety-Tank-Tank since apparently enough years have passed and what's funny is that the 5th graders that did it previously are teen helper age now. And since I have one of them in a cabin with 5th graders and it's the kid that played Zammerman I was thinking about having their cabin do it and he can show him how it's done.

7th and 8th graders will sing HeeHaw so as soon as I get the verses down that just leaves me with 7 skits to write and I can come up with those.

I hope.

At the moment I'm a bit blocked, but it's a work in progress.

Anyway, I should crash as it is almost midnight and I need to be semi-conscious tomorrow as it's sort of a big day with the BossLady and Superwoman.

Alright, watch this.

I'm serious.

Watch this.

I found it at noon and it had 2,000 some hits, right now it's at like 3 million.

Someone took clips from all the Star Wars movies and clipped them so it sings "Call Me Maybe" by what's her name. Carly Rae Jepsen. yeah.

It's freakin' awesome.

They showed it to George Lucas and he loved it. 



i'm sorry, but i just laugh everytime Obi-Wan says "maybe"

tone of voice.

won't be able to watch it the same way again.

love the random creature shots when they couldn't find matching lyrics.

"it's a trap!"