-Slim Shady and I got to see each other twice today. I know right?! We called it the Apocalypse because they don't let us work together anymore. It's not that we're trouble, we just seem to never get scheduled at the same place at the same time. Today we got to eat lunch together and check-in backroom stuff. Two hours in a row. I know, right?! We were shocked.
-I applied for two hours leave so I could jam with my family for our newly instated annual pitch tournament on the 23rd. They granted my request, so technically, I will be getting paid while playing pitch until 6. Woohoo! There will be much excitement, especially if things go as awesomely as they did last year. Which reminds me that I need to go Christmas shopping so I'll have everything ready in time.
-Checked my e-mail and saw that Superwoman had sent me a message. It said, "I left a surprise in your mailbox." So I checked my mailbox. Guess what was in it. See, I was thinking "crap, I forgot to sign my timesheet again, she's gonna take away points." Which would bite since I'm stuck at 140. It took me forever to get there and now it's taking me forever to get anywhere but there! Anyway, no, it was an article. And guess what it was entitled. "How To Date a Librarian". Apparently my magnet stories are making their way around the building. I can't help that I'm nice to people! I'm sorry! Slim Shady says I'm too nice to the weird boys. But would you rather me be mean? I'm not too nice, I respect each person that comes up to the desk, I make conversation because otherwise it would be awkward. It puts them at ease and then when they come back in we develop a rapport. That's how it works. But some people, take it to heart and eventually ask me out or just follow me around the building. But that's why we have security guards. And fun coworkers who watch out for me. So it's not bad.
Anyway, the tips on dating a librarian were hilarious, I'll have to post them. It's in my locker at the moment, I wanted to highlight things and hang it on the door.
Other things.
-Yes, I have a band. a Parody Band. Multiple actually. There's "Delayed...Reaction" which is me and my friend who's a teacher at my old high school - he wasn't a teacher when i was there, let me clear that up now...and we write songs about Camp J.
And then there's my other band which is me and Homie-G-Wigger, and we call ourselves "The Teacher and the Part-Time Librarian" originally we were the "Teacher and the Failed Librarian" as I was not one at that moment, just applying to take the GRE and all that. I guess we will have to change the name yet again now that I'm Full-Time instead of Part-Time. But we performed our smash hit "Snippets of Conversation" at the grade school play two years ago. I could post the lyrics to that one as well, but again, have to find them first. They're in a notebook. Well, actually. Here's the original working draft:
though it ended up as:
Home and Garden Show Conversations
They're happening across the nation
You'd be amazed at the valuable information
Here's our own translation
we would repeat what they said, then I'd strum the guitar
and we said, "but what they really meant was this:" like
"People travel in packs."
"But what she really meant was, Beware of idiots in a group."
Yes, now that you mention it, it does look very similar to this:
aka 2G's version of "Oh, Lord of Light" lyrics here: My Life in Closed Captions: 2G's version of Oh Lord of Light
THIS is what happens when we're trapped in a room, working on camp stuff for five hours straight. and think, camp stuff is all I did, every day for an entire summer the first year that we took over. We changed everything! and added new stuff, it was a mess. Stuff like this is just part of the crazy madness that happens when we take a five minute break for icecream. You should see our sane moments. They're few and far between. We put the fun in dysfunctional! Yet, we're completely functional when we need to be.
Here's 2G in our awesome shirts when we went golfing this summer.
Homey-G-Wigger, Dash Riprock, Blackstone and Choot 'em Lizbet! We rocked it...'til I got thrown out of the cart while in motion....for the second year in a row...neither time my fault. crazy driver...but it's SO MUCH FUN! not the flying out of the cart and landing on the golf tee in your pocket part, but the golfing in our 2G crew part. it's awesome.
Alright, on to the rec's and then I've got something special as requested.
You're getting a mix of them tonight. XYandZ. So they're exy Z-Recs. Or something like that.
X - Limited options with this one so I'm gonna go with this. Just cause I like to see you cringe every once in a while.
"Xanadu" Olivia Newton-John
so, there are two references that come to mind with this. First was Friends when Phoebe finds it on TV and screams "Oh, Oh, Xanadu!" in the "Well, they were chair-shaped cows" episode, then second came Criminal Minds after Garcia goes shopping crazy for Henry. "Next stop Xanadu!" "Xanadon't ladies" they had a case.
Y - yes, this is an actual song. a CLASSIC by a classic artist.
"You Can't Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd" Roger Miller
you probably know his chug-a-lug song. sometimes i wonder how much chug he was lugging while writing this song.
and i'm sorry, but this slide show is highly amusing.
Z - I'm sensing a theme here. sorry.
"Zoot Suit Riot" Cherry Poppin' Daddies
excellent dance song. nice costumes as well. I love the spazzy lead singer, he's fantastic.
Alright, since you asked, here is the Tankety-Tank-Tank skit mentioned in yesterday's post.
Though I write the majority of our skits, sometimes I get blocked and search our old files from my predecessor, or check google.
This one I did NOT write.
I found it on google here: BOOT CAMP SKIT
We did change it up a bit though.
BOOT CAMP
*a group of campers are standing around at boot camp and another camper - the drill sergeant - strides onto the scene.*
Drill Sergeant: ATTENTION!
*The campers scurry into line and salute.*
Drill Sergeant: Today, we'll be doing a war simulation. Get your equipment and MOVE OUT!
*The campers run to the box on the middle of the stage filled with fake weapons. When the last camper arrives there are none left.*
Drill Sergeant: Private Zammerman, I'm afraid we're short on supplies. Seeing as how your name is last on my list, you will not be receiving a gun or knife.
Private Zammerman: Awwww...
Drill Sergeant: However, the troops take their training very seriously and if you pretend to shoot or stab them they will play along. Now MOVE OUT!
*The campers line up in a single file line, all facing Private Zammerman who's at the opposite side of the stage
the first camper holds up a gun. Private Zammerman holds up an imaginary gun at the camper and says...*
Private Zammerman: Bangity-Bang-Bang!
*The camper acts as if shot and falls onto the ground.
Next camper steps up, this time holding a knife. Zammerman holds up an imaginary knife and points it at the camper while saying...*
Zammerman: Stabbity-stab-stab!
*The camper acts as if stabbed and falls to the ground.
This goes on for a while, depending on the amount of kids you have. We used 5th and 6th grade boys because they were the most enthusiastic about it. There were ten boys total so it took awhile. We had a sword slicety-slice-slice, a bazooka that i think he came at with boomety-boom-boom. which i found hilarious. umm... there were nunchucks, pistols, it was like the weapons-r-us in a box. my helpers were fantastic in creating all these fake weapons. at one point i really wanted to use a lightsaber so he could scream forcety-force-force! but we skipped over that one.
The last camper slowly approaches Zammerman in a straight line.*
Zammerman: Bangity-bang-bang!
*The camper ignores the shot and keeps approaching Zammerman*
Zammerman: Stabbity-stab-stab!
*still nothing*
Zammerman: Slicety-Slice-Slice!
*keeps walking toward him*
Zammerman: Boomity-Boom-Boom!
*The camper pushes Zammerman over and walks passed him.*
Zammerman: Hey! What do you think you're doing?!
*The camper turns, faces Zammerman and YELLS...*
TANKETY-TANK-TANK! TANKETY-TANK-TANK!
*then keeps walking*
and that's that.
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