Oh Henry, Have you got something to tell me?

You know what I love even more than B-Movies?

The previews for B-Movies that precede the B-Movie you're about to watch.

You watch them and are like, yeah, I could watch that.

Then you watch the movies and you're like no. Just no.

I often see previews for The Poseidon Adventure while watching other B-Movies.

When I found out there was a version with Adam Baldwin I was all over it.

Plus, you know with the recent cruise ship thing I thought it might be interesting.

So, finally got around to watching it tonight.

I am never going on a cruise. Ever.

I do not care how much you pay me, I will never go on a cruise.

Oh my god.

So the movie. Right.

There are so many thoughts running through my head that I don't know where to start.

First off, apparently in the original it's a storm that turns them over. In this one it's terrorists.

Why they've decided to attack this ship is never really explained. And if it is it's in a different language. Like I said, B-Movie.

So they disguise bombs as beer kegs and blow holes in the bottom of the ship from the inside. The thing flips and a group of survivors tries to climb from the ballroom to the bottom of the ship - which is now the top of the ship - to climb through the hole in the sinking ship to get out.

Adam Baldwin plays the Sea Marshall of awesomeness and yes quite like all of his other characters aka John Casey, the man they call Jayne, the list goes on, he's gruff and rude and kicks peoples' butts
then you've got
C. Thomas Howell as the injured doctor - that one I had trouble with as he's a serial killer in Criminal Minds, freakin' Foyet
Rutger Hauer plays the priest - he's in a lot of stuff but if you're like me you'll know him as Lothos from the original Buffy movie
and Amber Sainsbury who you may know if you've seen 30 Days of Night - my only problem with her is that she looks fifteen, but not only is she over 21 but she's a doctor!
Steve Guttenberg as Richard Clarke, the dad who has an affair while his family is on board. You know what? I loved him in The Big Green and yell out "we love you deputy dog!" quite frequently, but in this movie I could not stand him.

Hm. The Big Green. Another candidate for ILL.

Where was I?

The dramatic speeches and the cheating on the wife, maybe it was the character but I literally wanted to slap him.

And I wanted his homewrecking mistress to die.

Which she did, so that worked out well.

Anyway, there are about 15 people in the group starting out but it ends up with like 11, sad day especially cause I liked one of them and screamed when she died, but the rest of the time I was just like, really? Another speech?

I see why you were a made-for-tv movie.

Like, Guttenberg, mid-catwalk while the ship is literally burning beneath his feet decides to turn around and address his family.

Mid-catwalk.

Fire is literally feet below him.

I think I will take this moment to apologize for all of my faults, then turn around and suddenly become frozen in fear.

And half an hour later I'll make it to the other side.

Anyway, four hours later the movie's over and I'm still sitting here going...huh.

Cause really, what is the appropriate reaction to have after watching a B-Movie?

They always give me pause.

But I like B-Movies. They rock. You should check out Cosmo's War of the Planets, actually that's more like a D-Movie, but we watch it every year at teen camp nonetheless. The cheesier the better.

I'm giving it about a 4/10 on the Scale of Awesome, but that makes it about 4/5 on the scale of B-Movies, so that's rockin' man.

If you like ships, and overdramatic speeches and water and all that crap this may be the cheesy movie for you.

Just make sure you have homework to do while you're watching it.

Or have Facebook available. Apparently people find my commentary humorous.

I still want an underwater flashlight. I'll figure out something to do with it, I'm sure.

In other news, saw my carpool buddy at work today. It was actually really funny because we both froze at the same time, then reacted.

It was one of those, I know you, but not in this context, kind of moments.

But it reminded me that I have a huge assignment thing due this weekend and need to get started on it.

I'll save it for tomorrow night.

And Friday.

Cause it will take both.

I think I understand it.

I mean, I know I don't, but I think I can fake it.

It's cataloging man.

If I follow the book, and the examples online....I should be...screwed.

Eh, I'll figure it out.

"Oh Henry" The Civil Wars

so i had an "oh my god you're an idiot" moment today.

realized that the joy williams in the civil wars is joy williams.

as in THE joy williams.

the singer of "one of those days".

which may mean nothing to you, but oh my god i sing that song almost weekly.

even posted about it in like november. My Life in Closed Captions: It's just been one of those, one of those days...

no idea they were the same person.

to be fair she sounds completely different as the civil wars are folk music and that was pop.

it was a serious moment though. i literally sing that song weekly. because, as mentioned in yesterday's post, i'm a magnet for stalkers and trouble and really anything that goes wrong in the library. and it's often "one of those days".

But tomorrow is a new day.

And a food day, huzzah!

So I'm out, exhausted, gonna have to watch some sort of comedy to get that cheesy-drama-scary-mass-of-whatever-you-want-to-label-it out of my head.

Bring on John Casey and the Buy More crew.