To the tune of “Do You Wanna Dance” by the Beach Boys
Written by CK and Sharon
Do you want to scream and call the guard?
Tell me patron is your life scarred?
Oh patron,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you want to call under the fluorescent light?
Did somebody want to start a fight?
Oh patron,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you want to call under the fluorescent light?
Did somebody threaten to bite?
Oh patron,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you want to call under the fluorescent light?
Did someone squeeze you way too tight?
Oh patron,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Original Lyrics
Do you want to dance and hold my hand
Tell me baby I'm your lover man
Oh baby
do you want to dance?
Do you want to dance under the moonlight
Hold me baby all through the night
Oh baby
Do you want to dance?
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance?
Do you want to dance under the moonlight
Kiss me baby all through the night
Oh baby
Do you want to dance?
Do you want to dance under the moonlight
Squeeze me, squeeze me baby all through the night
Oh baby
Do you want to dance?
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance?
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
To the tune of “Sound of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel
Written by CK
Hello bookdrop, my old friend.
I've come to collect you again.
Lurkers shifting softly scheming
Man in the corner loudly screaming
Says that visions were implanted in his brain
But we maintain
There must be sound of silence
As I roam I walk alone
Patrons ask me for headphones
In the lab they have set up camp
One yelling something about a leg cramp
When my eyes were burned by the flash of some pants too tight
That split on sight
I scream in sounds of silence
And all the naked girls I saw
Ten thousand of them, maybe more
People looking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People closing browsers as soon as I walk by
Like I’m a spy
And I scream on in silence
Fools, said I, you do not know
Inside there is no tobacco
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arm I’ll sic Pat Leach on you
But my words, on silent ears they fell
And echoed in the wells of silence
And the people loudly played
Online games and serenade
No singing in the lab first warning
But they continue on performing
And a patron said, there are things smeared all over the bathroom walls
And in the stalls
And I scream in the sounds of silence
Original Lyrics
Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence
Fools, said I, you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sounds of silence
Intoxication To the tune of "Infatuation" by Rod Stewart Written by Tracy
Early in the day after I sleep I don’t work and I don’t eat I’ve been drunk all day, can concentrate I’m about to make a big mistake I’m not going to the park This booze is gonna make me shart Weavin’ around, how I behave Passin’ out all over the place Oh no not again Did I just barf? I don’t understand Intoxication Intoxication Intoxication Intoxication My head beats silly like a big bass drum Hangovers suck—gimme some rum It’s so hard in the middle of the week Maybe some liquor is all I need Oh no not again Did I just barf? I don’t understand Intoxication Intoxication Intoxication Intoxication Original Lyrics - Infatuation - Rod Stewart Early in the morning I can't sleep I can't work and I can't eat I've been drunk all day, can't concentrate Maybe I'm making a big mistake Caught me down like a killer shark It's like a railroad running right through my heart Jekyll and Hyde the way I behave Feel like I'm running on an empty gauge Oh no not again It hurts so good I don't understand Infatuation Infatuation Infatuation Infatuation Heart beats silly like a big bass drum Losing all equilibrium It's so hard in the middle of the week Maybe this woman's just all I need Oh no not again It hurts so good I don't understand Infatuation Infatuation Infatuation…
Heard the roar of the cars, she could picture the scene
Put her back to the wall, then let out a silent scream
She got out some books, just blew her away
She saw stars in her eyes, and the very next day
Got a beat up paperback like in a secondhand store
Didn't know how to play it, but she knew for sure
That one stupid book, felt good in her hands
Didn't take long, to understand
Just one old book, slung way down low
Was a one way ticket, only one way to go
So she started readin'
Ain't never gonna stop
Gotta keep on readin'
Someday she's gonna make it to the drop
And be a book drop hero, got stars in her eyes
She's a book drop hero
She took one old book, book drop hero, stars in her eyes
Book drop hero, she'll come alive tonight
In a town without a name, in a heavy downpour
Thought she passed her own shadow, by the bookdrop door
Like a trip through the past, to that day in the rain
And that one old book made her whole life change
Now she needs to keep readin'
She just can't stop
Gotta keep on readin'
That girl has got to stay on top
And be a book drop hero, got stars in her eyes
She's a book drop hero, got stars in her eyes
Yeah, book drop hero, got stars in her eyes
With that one old book she'll come alive
Come alive tonight
Yeah, she's gotta keep readin'
She just can't stop
Gotta keep on readin'
That girl has got to stay on top
And be a book drop hero, got stars in her eyes
She's a book drop hero, got stars in her eyes
Just one old book, put stars in her eyes
She's just a book drop hero, aah aah aah
Book drop hero, book drop hero, she's got stars in her eyes
Stars in her eyes
Original Lyrics - "Juke Box Hero" - Foreigner
Standing in the rain, with his head hung low
Couldn't get a ticket, it was a sold out show
Heard the roar of the crowd, he could picture the scene
Put his ear to the wall, then like a distant scream
He heard one guitar, just blew him away
He saw stars in his eyes, and the very next day
Bought a beat up six string in a secondhand store
Didn't know how to play it, but he knew for sure
That one guitar, felt good in his hands
Didn't take long, to understand
Just one guitar, slung way down low
Was one way ticket, only one way to go
So he started rockin'
Ain't never gonna stop
Gotta keep on rockin'
Someday he's gonna make it to the top
And be a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes
He's a juke box hero
He took one guitar, juke box hero, stars in his eyes
Juke box hero, he'll come alive tonight
In a town without a name, in a heavy downpour
Thought he passed his own shadow, by the backstage door
Like a trip through the past, to that day in the rain
And that one guitar made his whole life change
Now he needs to keep rockin'
He just can't stop
Gotta keep on rockin'
That boy has got to stay on top
And be a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes
He's a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes
Yeah, juke box hero, got stars in his eyes
With that one guitar he'll come alive
Come alive tonight
Yeah, he's gotta keep rockin'
He just can't stop
Gotta keep on rockin'
That boy has got to stay on top
And be a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes
He's a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes
Just one guitar, put stars in his eyes
He's just a juke box hero, aah aah aah
Juke box hero, juke box hero, he's got stars in his eyes
Stars in his eyes
Yes, at one point in my life I felt it was necessary to post to it every night.
For like 3 years.
And a bit after that.
No, I do not do that anymore.
No, you do not need to worry about my sanity.
At this moment at least.
We have decided to use this as a place to post our parodies online.
By we I mean Tracy, Sharon and myself.
We go by many names:
TSK, TSK, TSK
The Trouble Trifecta
Rabble Rousers
LCL – Librarians Changing Lyrics
BMPL – Bibliophiles Making Parody Lyrics
And of course the Dewey Decimators
However, we’re still taking suggestions as to a permanent name so if you have any suggestions send them our way.
We shall be posting new parodies every Wednesday so if you like this one stay tuned.
For those of you who read the Staff Association Newsletter they will be featured there as well.
If you feel the need to read about my compulsory ramblings below feel free. There are some interesting library stories scattered throughout, although this post in particular houses many of them all in one: Post #1000: My Top Library Moments of All Time
If you feel like searching further I do warn you, you will be going down the rabbit hole…
I have a lot to cover so I'm debating on how to do this. I could do it chronologically, which would make the most sense, OR I could do good, bad, other/interesting, OR I could do big highlight, little highlight, rinse and repeat.
Or by group. Hm. Let's try that.
Family:
We celebrated Mom's birthday back in March. She turned 70 and all she wanted was a weekend with her kids (and grandkids) at a nice hotel. But of course we got her presents anyway. They had booked a whole corner of the main floor and we had pizza and free drinks and all that. It was fun. Eventually the kids went swimming - the boyfriend is gonna be favorite uncle, I'm telling you, they kept flocking to him so he would throw them in, it was adorable - while the rest of us played Cards Against Humanity which - if you weren't aware - is like the mature version of Apples to Apples.
Here are a couple that I won with, though actually in the end myself and Oldest Sister tied. I think.
After everyone else went to bed the boyfriend and I walked to the train station at around 1AM. This is what happens when you date someone with vampiristic tendencies - since he works nights he doesn't sleep at night so we walked around downtown for a while then watched some TV - Leverage, Forensic Files, etc. Fell asleep after a while but were actually coherent enough to beat most people down for breakfast in the morning. Huge buffet - omelets, french toast, bacon, sausage, biscuits and gravy, potatoes, all that - it was fabulous.
The birthday celebration wasn't the only family party since my last post. We actually had something even bigger - my parents 50th wedding anniversary. I think around 250 invitations went out and we probably got around 300 people that showed up, it was crazy. My siblings and I got everything set up beforehand - which was an adventure in itself. Tables, tablecloths, pictures on all the tables, other various decorations, setting up my computer with the slideshow and projector. Plus then we took some family photos. By the time we got done with all that there were people already filing in. Thankfully between the decorations and the pictures we were able to get ready ourselves. Unfortunately, the light in the women's restroom was out - well, the one by the mirror was out - so all us girls ended up putting our makeup on in the men's restroom. Another adventure. The party itself was great. Both of my parents gave speeches. Dad's was hilarious. I shouldn't have been surprised since he is very clever. And mom bought flowers for all of her attendants so during her speech I was running all over the place attempting to deliver them. Apparently having a 27-year-old daughter is a good thing when you are 70. The only downfall to being 27 to parents that are older is that everyone at the party knew me as a kid and I hadn't seen them in years so remembering all their names was a bit complicated. Actually at one point I had to go and get Mom cause I was just drawing a complete blank and she was so smooth, she was like ___ and ___ it's so nice to see you! A-hah! Yes. Now I know you. Anyway, the food was great, the people were excited to be there, the slideshow went over well, and my parents had a really good time so I'm calling it a victory.
Between both of those parties was Easter. We did church and lunch with the boyfriend's family and then afternoon and supper with mine. Huge egg hunt in the afternoon which of course I always get stuck being the one in charge of. Even though I wasn't even there 'til after lunch. So much stuff this year that we were basically just running around and dropping stuff as we went. The boyfriend was no help whatsoever. He and my brother have apparently bonded cause while the other adults were hiding eggs, I look back and they are picking up the stuff that we just hid and stealing all the good candy out of them. Cheaters. Though there was plenty of candy for the kids. I even ended up taking home more than I should. More on that later.
Another fun family thing was going to the Red/White game with the Cool Aunt. Ever since I was put in charge of volunteers I haven't been able to go because the banquet for them is always the same day and time as the game. This year we changed it and I'm loving that, I hope it stays that way. You know me and my Husker football, I would go to all the games if I could. Anyway, this year was a big year because of the new coaching staff and quarterback drama. Tommy will probably start but he has some competition. The game was awesome and I taped it so I get to re-watch it whenever I want. The Cool Aunt and I got there super early so we could get our food, seats, and all that. The game was awesome, lots of people there and we even did the wave and all the chants and all that. I'm super stoked to see how this season turns out. Clearly there are things we need to work on. Passing probably being the biggest. But it should be a good year.
Boyfriend:
The boyfriend and I have been up to a lot as well. Within the past few weeks we've went on two different motorcar trips - one in Kansas, the other in Iowa. Kansas was fun because I had never been on that ride before. We also stopped to look at a railroad signal at this guy's house and the dude was on American Pickers so you can just imagine everything that was all over his yard. He gave us a tour of his house which was very much the same. Antiques everywhere, even hanging from the ceiling. The motorcar ride itself was a lot of fun. The boyfriend surprised me by spending the week before the trip fixing up the motorcar that I had bought him for Christmas. I didn't realize that's the one we would be riding until he unloaded it. It actually ran really well so we also took it to Iowa and...well...that was a different story. Died out within the first few miles. So, more work to be done on that, along with his 80 million other projects. Luckily, Popper Boy doesn't bring spare parts, he brings spare cars so we had a different one to ride. Long story, don't even ask. This year was a bit different than previous years though because we stayed at a Bed and Breakfast instead of a regular hotel. It was really neat. Though without TV or Wifi we did end up going to see The Woman In Gold the night we got there. Scroll down for the review of that. His buddy and the buddy's girlfriend stayed with us at the B&B so that was a lot of fun.
I took a lot of pictures for both rides. Here are some of my favorites.
Another adventure with the boyfriend that will blend in nicely with my next category is hockey season. It is now officially over, which I'm totally bummed about yet at the same time, it's probably a good thing. Our team this year was not fantastic. That's kind of an understatement, we got last in the division. Granted we did have a brand new coach and manager and all that, but still, it was rather pathetic toward the end. While the season itself took a downward spiral after our coach suddenly started trading off a bunch of our best players, it did have its moments. Some unexpected victories, big fights, and enough walking tacos to make me think it is definitely time to get to the gym. After the last home game they had a player meet-and-greet out on the ice. Myself, the boyfriend, and the Archaeologist went around taking pictures and getting stuff signed.
Okay, they walked around with me while I got my picture taken and stuff signed. Though she did get her picture taken with a few times. And the boyfriend went along with all of it. He even suggested we take a picture together in the penalty box which made me almost forgive him for calling me a "jersey chaser" five minutes earlier. But I got to meet my favorite player along with others I like and when I tweeted the pictures both he (and a woman who I assume is his mother) retweeted the one of me and him labeled as my favorite.
Jersey chaser. Thanks babe. He's like 17. That's just gross.
Friends:
My Archaeologist ditched me for greener pastures. Literally. But she'll be back. Eventually. This is the one who sits behind us at the hockey games. It's nice to have someone here with similar interests/problems that we can get like lunch or supper or see movies or whatever. Though now that she's gone I'm eating shawarma all alone.
Anyway, she house-sat for a couple of people before leaving so we did a lot of movie-watching and burger eating. Plus trips to Cabelas, Canes, and Culvers. All in one day. We call them Capers. Cause our names start with C's and for some reason we go to a lot of C-named places. Crave. Cherry-in-Top. Etc.
These are the days of our lives.
And speaking of friends I got to see an old one a few weeks ago as Homey G Wigger made a reappearance in Nebraska. She was in-state for a confirmation so we got supper and jammed out for a while. Was good to catch up. Really should work on that whole pen-pal thing. I'm awful at correspondence. Ipso-facto, this blog's sudden downturn. Honestly I don't know how I did this every day for so long. Pretty sure it helped that I had no life, now it's like I barely have time to sit still, let alone post for hours on end.
One of the reasons I get to be so busy for the next few months - and notice that was a "get to be" not "have to be" - is Camp J season has officially started. We had our first meeting and the site went live on May 1st. And yes I've already gotten more than 10 applications in less than a week so, good to know kids are excited about camp this year. Even though I'm hesitant of the date change. Long story. But I need to get my act together with spreadsheets and planning. My inbox and voicemail will be flooded 'til August.
I'm more nervous for this year than I ever was before. That includes the year that Jim and I took over registrations and knew absolutely nothing about how to do it. This year will be the first year without an integral member of our team and I'm not sure how to handle things without her. Last year was redemption year, this year will be remembrance year. I need to get back to working on the guitar. She wrote so many songs over so many years, I'm hoping to work with my fellow music leaders on how to incorporate some of them into this year's camp. I'll keep you posted on that one.
Work:
Ah work. We're at an interesting juncture in my worklife experience. We're venturing into a new ILS system. This will be my third. First was Horizon, then Koha, now it's Symphony. Well, Sirsi-Dynex, but they call their product Symphony. This week and last have been kind of like attempting to control chaos. The fun part about training for a new system? You get to practice for hours on end. Part of practice is creating new library cards for fake patrons. My fake patrons of choice? Myka Bering and Calamity Jane. While both technically reside (or resided) in South Dakota, I moved them to Lincoln. One on Warehouse Avenue and the other on Deadwood Road. Of course they both disappeared when we went live. Boo.
Luckily for stressful times as these there is Staff Association, of which I am a member and somehow got to be in charge of this huge Mini-Golf event thing that took place. I think it's because I had my phone at the meeting and was able to look up prices and times and all that. Whatever, it was fun. A bit of stress in the planning, but worth it in the long run. We opened it up to all the staff and everyone picked teams and dressed up (if they wanted). The best dressed and most spirited won prizes along with best/worst scores, most holes-in-one, and most wet balls. Yeah, guess who won that one. To be fair I only lost 2 and was able to retrieve them.
That's not the only fun thing from work lately - we also just had some big volunteer events over the past few weeks. First was the Volunteer Banquet where we invite all the volunteers from all the branches to this big shindig and the mayor comes and gives a speech and we give them fancy snacks. The fun part about all that is jamming out with the other volunteer supervisors before and after the shindig. This year we joked about my mayor's award and how I need a traveling case so I can whip it out when needed. Basically a fancy fanny pack. So of course when I went to talk to the Mayor and he had no recollection of me whatsoever - to be fair he does that like once a month and he's been in office for like ever - I debated on purchasing one. But then I remembered that this isn't the 90s and they're still tacky. Quote of the day: "It's not like you saved someone's life or anything." Haha.
The other volunteer event was the Paperback Processing Party for my teens. Remember how every year we go to Barnes and Noble to pick out paperbacks for the library to purchase? Well, they came in and then we got to process them. It's fun for them because it's all the TAB groups - well, minus one this year - but they get to talk to people and they get first dibs on the material.
Other various work excursions since my last post have been Inservice - of which I only attended the morning session since we went to Kansas that afternoon. The speaker was good - it was mostly about safety in libraries...which doesn't make you paranoid at all... - plus NLA, that's our big annual conference for librarians across Nebraska. I was asked to be on the committee to put the whole thing together so that's gonna be a new and exciting adventure. We had our first meeting and it's a fun group of people - Library Goddess aka my former boss being one of them. Looking forward to it.
Somewhere in the midst of all this Queen of the Known Universe and I went to see Info-Man's play. They did "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Death Star" and it was fabulous. It's set up like it's a convention and the actors are reading the script to their upcoming movie however not all the actors could make it to the reading so the actors are playing like 3 characters each. For example, Darth Vader was also Han Solo. Yoda was also a Storm Trooper. And Info-Man played the bus driver, emperor, George Lucas, and a cantina bar singer. Highly entertaining, I bought the soundtrack, we loved it.
And what list of stories about work would be complete without including a strange patron interaction? I'm at the desk, right, and this lady comes up to check out some books. She starts handing me her card and then suddenly pulls it away and the conversation goes something like this:
"You are fragrant and I don't want it on my card, can I just scan it by myself?"
"What?"
"You smell like vanilla and I don't want it on my card, can I scan the card by myself?"
"Um, sure?"
So she scans the cards and the books and leaves. My coworker comes over and goes "That was rude." Me, not exactly sure what just happened or how to respond said something like "well, there are worse things to smell like, but I'm not wearing vanilla so I don't know what she was talking about." I was confused for the next few seconds but then I went over to the bookdrop and it was like WahBam! Vanilla! So, someone on the self-check must have been the one drenched in it, not me. Perhaps she had allergies and it just came off as awkward. I'm sure she's a nice person, but it was still weird.
Scale of Awesome's for you.
Interstellar
Scale of Awesome says 9/10. This movie - while long - was worth every minute. I will admit it started off slow and I was a little confused, but once the mission officially started I was hooked.
Woman in Gold
Scale of Awesome says 9/10. Really liked this one as well. Based on a true story and both leads - Ryan Reynolds and Helen Mirren - were fabulous. Really interesting to learn about art recovery and that specific case.
Predestination
Scale of Awesome says 5/10. So confused. So much shorter than necessary. Need an epilogue. What happens now?
Get Hard
Scale of Awesome says 5/10. I loved Will Ferrell on SNL but for some reason I just do not like his movies. I gave this one a chance cause I like Kevin Hart. It was alright, not wonderful, not awful, but alright.
The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies
Scale of Awesome says 7/10. Watched this one with the Archaeologist. The problem with this movie is that there is no like "previously on the Hobbit..." It just starts from where it left off and if you haven't seen the previous one in like months then you're screwed. Or at least we were. Thankfully I had grabbed the second one as well and we ended up putting that one in and then skipping around so we could remember why the one guy was in jail, why the other guy was wounded, which dwarf the chick was in love with, the difference between the Bowman and Thorin and also what the hell happened to Gandalf. Then we attempted the new one again successfully. Was pretty good in it's own right, but you really can't compare this trilogy to the original trilogy because it would just fail completely.
Nightcrawler
Scale of Awesome says 5/10. Dude, this dude was messed up man. Anything for a good shot. Kind of made me want to smack him, but made for an interesting movie.
Maze Runner
Scale of Awesome says 5/10. One of my TAB kids is obsessed with this movie. I feel like I would get more out of it if either 1. I was a teenage girl, or 2. I had read the book. Neither of those will be happening anytime soon.
Horrible Bosses
Scale of Awesome says 7/10. This is like the anti-Jennifer Aniston role, seriously. Nothing like her whatsoever and she pulled it off! Actually it was very funny.
Horrible Bosses 2
Scale of Awesome says 6/10. The first one was probably better, though this one did have its moments. I love Chris Pine.
Ridiculousness
Scale of Awesome says 9/10. Mindless humor, and I love Rob Dyrdek. It's highly entertaining and reminds me a bit of World's Dumbest.
Dances With Wolves
Scale of Awesome says 8/10. Sharon Rayder! I totally screamed and he was like what the hell? So, the boyfriend made me watch this one cause he was horrified that I hadn't seen it yet. Apparently it's a classic. I can see why. Even though it was like 3 hours long - which I was not expecting - it was really entertaining. I liked the storyline a lot.
On to the music:
Loving my new iPod. It fits all my music whereas my old one severely limited my music selections. Being able to listen to all my music has brought forth many songs that I forgot I knew.
Like these classics:
Gonna Get a Life - Mark Chestnutt
All 'Er Nothing - Oklahoma
used to sing this one a lot when i was little. is funnier now.
foot.
Electric Feel - MGMT
okay this one i've sang a lot lately and the irony of that being that someone actually checked out the MGMT CD like 2 minutes after i had gone around the building singing it in my head. i freaked, it was awesome.
and moving on to some new stuff
Budapest - George Ezra
love this one, give it a chance.
Alright, and that's all I got. Hope you had an awesome couple a months. I'll attempt to post sooner than months later next time...
