is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe...

Gonna start off by saying I feel like crap.

I need at least 6 hours of sleep to function and since I got less than 4 last night my stomach is all acidy - does anyone's get that way or is that just me? Like even if I stay up all night on purpose like at lock-ins and stuff when I was a kid - my stomach turns into complete acid and hurts and I'm nauseous and it throws off my whole day. Plus I was burning up this morning but too tired to go get thermometer so I'm really hoping I'm not getting whatever flu is going around cause that means the boyfriend will now get it and he's been sick enough.

Needless to say I slept all day, finally waking up around 5:30 to eat and then crashing back on the couch to watch Bones, Malibu Country and NCIS.

I did however, register for not only summer classes but fall ones as well and did some homework before getting on here to post so the day wasn't a complete loss.

This summer I'll be taking Foundations which is a 1 credit class completely online that you can apparently finish in like a week - yay. And then Library Systems which is 3 credits completely online but it's only in June so with that combination I should be fine for camp in July.

In the fall I'm taking Youth Services which only makes sense since I'm in it and then doing my practicum at the Regional Center. Did I mention Tom is in? I about jumped up and down but then realized that would look bad and I don't want to scare him off already.

Anyway, 3 credits for Youth Services and 2 for 90 hours of Practicum and then I'll be done completely.

After taking comps of course.

Which is going to suck big time.

It's the equivalent of writing a thesis, except that it's four of them basically. She told us to take that week off of work completely.

Oh joy.

I'm already nauseous this is just making it worse.

Okay new topic. Let's go with yesterday.

So, from the beginning, since apparently me not posting means I'm dead on the side of the road.

Sunday, March 2nd,

scratch that, March 3rd,

See, can't even function properly. Good thing I wrote down the class names and numbers before attempting to register today.

Anyway, woke up at 9:50, went to church. Mom was there cause of Grams birthday party, she came early to help the Cool Aunt set up. After church went out with Oldest Sister's family plus Mom plus the Cool Aunt to the awesome Greek restaurant for some flaming cheese - which my niece and nephew are obsessed with cause they light it on fire and yell opa - and some eggs and sausage, cause apparently they have a breakfast menu.

It was awesome.

Afterwards I came back to the apartment, showered, and figured out numbers for classes and added them to a cart so all I had to do was hit enroll and I'm good. Which I did so I'm good.

Then headed over to Grams place for the party. It was a good turnout, some of her siblings were there and their kids, then the Cool Aunt's family and a couple of uncles, one with his wife and a daughter and then ours minus Second Sister who is sick.

So I'm basically screwed cause our family is sick and people at work are sick. I'm hoping it'll just be today and then I'm over it. Granted it's worse cause of the lack of sleep but I don't think that's the entire cause of the thing. Got the gross runny nose and cough to go with it too but I've had that all week.

Blah.

Anyway, we sang and ate cake and jammed out for about an hour with the family. Nice to see some extended family I haven't seen in like years. And Grams was happy so that was good. We took a lot of pictures and I got to talk to my uncles about some family history that I've been attempting to collaborate. Scroll down a few posts, well it might be a few pages by now since you've gotten Jax and Matt Harper since.

I know all this stuff about my Dad's side but really nothing about Mom's side which is weird cause I lived with Grams.

Anyway, I asked my uncles about a family legend - basically my grandpa was a kickass baseball player. And I'm not just saying that. He was a pitcher and no one could hit off him. He played for a farm team in Kansas in the semi-pros and legend has it he got called up to the big leagues, but the day before he was going to leave his throwing arm got hit by a stray ball and his career was over.

But it's legend because my uncles have heard it through extended family and not from their own dad because grandpa was never about showing off. He wrote a book - a novel - and it got published and they didn't even know about it until after it came out.

Which was posthumous, btw.

But he didn't tell them. He was good man, my grandpa, and I'd like to learn more about him but with Grams the way she is with the Alzheimer's I'm almost too afraid to ask her. Cause I don't want to upset her if she doesn't remember.

And it's a hard topic anyway.

I have his journals. Well, sections of his journals that my artist uncle uploaded. But those only go so far, like I said he wasn't one to show off.

So I shall continue to attempt to get my facts from extended family.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, birthday, Grams was happy and it was fun.

After that came back to the apartment to get ready for the concert. The boyfriend has this thing that DRIVES ME NUTS where I tell him to be here at 5 and then he'll text me at like 4:55 saying he's just leaving - there's an hour drive between his place and mine - and then I start freaking out and then 5 minutes later the buzzer on my door goes off and he's here.

Cause he's full of crap and was in the parking lot the whole time.

Mean.

So we left about 5:15, got to the arena around 6:30 and parked in the lot cause we don't really know that area as well. I go there with the Cool Aunt for the CWS but she drives and really, whenever I go there for school I stick to 72nd and Dodge. That's literally all I know. BTW lot parking, bad idea, but I'll get there.

Went in, showed our tickets, found our seats - front row mezzanine on the balcony it was awesome I was like 50 feet away from Adam Levine, holy crap.

The boyfriend said if he lost his voice - like last week - his sister could fill in for him.

First off, Adam Levine and Avril Lavigne are not related.

Which he knows, but did I mention that he's often full of crap just to bug me?

So the seats were great, the guy a couple seats down from us was not so great. We were on the end - and being on the end is awesome - except when people keep insisting on getting up to leave and go talk to the people in the row behind you. Eventually they just went and sat back there but there were at least 5 times he had to walk back and forth in front of us before that happened.

Anyway, Owl City was first.



They did about 5 songs - I knew 2 of them, apparently I need to listen to their new album cause all I could sing were Fireflies and Good Time. Fireflies was super cool cause everyone had their phone out in the pitch dark and it looked like fireflies.



Then came Neon Trees - whom I love.



See, I got their single Animal free off itunes way before they were on the radio. So then when I heard it on the radio I went nuts - same thing with Hey Monday and La Roux. They played Animal, Everybody Talks, some others from their new album and then covered Don't You Want Me by the Human League. The audience went nuts, we went nuts. The boyfriend even sang that one.

But the sociology minor in me kicked in during this whole thing cause the majority of the people in the audience were either 40 or teenagers. And then there was like me and him and Beej (who was there with a group of teenagers.) Anyway, so it was hysterical because when they covered that all the "old" people - they're not old, don't scoff, I'm just saying in the context of audience members they were old compared to the teenagers - so all the "old" people were yelling out the lyrics while the younger ones sat back and went, "what the hell is this song and why do you know the words?" So they rocked it, but not nearly as much as Maroon 5 rocked it.

Holy crap. So while Owl City and Neon Trees sang about 5 a piece, Maroon 5 sang about 20, and it was awesome.

They started with Payphone and it all went uphill from their, even including classics like Sunday Morning, She Will Be Loved, Harder to Breathe, and This Love. Other ones you might know are Wake Up Call, Won't Go Home Without You, Makes Me Wonder, Misery, Moves Like Jagger, and then their newest One More Night, Daylight, Lucky Strike, and Love Somebody - amongst others. It was awesome.



So they sang 3 out of my top 5 - Won't Go Home Without You, Misery, and Moves Like Jagger only missing Back At Your Door and How. But I love them all and making that top 5 and leaving others out like Man Who Never Lied, Doin' Dirt, Get Back In My Life, One More Night and Lucky Strike are painful, but they're in my top 10.



Did I mention I was a fan?

Blame Second Sister.

She's the one that gave me the Hands All Over CD that brought them back in my life - after the first album I got distracted by other artists. Now they're back full-force.

And she's the one that called today demanding details.



Anyway, one of the coolest things was how much he featured James Valentine. Kept calling him a native and saying how excited he was to do the show for months and how he deserves the most camera time.

Held up his guitar pick that said Jimmy V.



Loved it.

For those of you who don't know James Valentine is his guitarist.

And he's from Lincoln.

Plus he's awesome so it's a trifecta.

And speaking of natives - Neon Trees' sound engineer is from Omaha so he and his kid ran onstage before the performance and took a picture in front of the crowd.

I literally cannot ramble enough about how awesome Maroon 5 were live.



I mean, Neon Trees was fantastic. Tyler has some excellent dance moves - and cool shoes - plus their female drummer is phenomenal, but Adam, James and the rest of their crew were even better.



It was amusing because at one point they gave Adam a camera and he went around introducing his band members.

They sang for a while then left the stage and I'm like, are they not gonna sing Moves Like Jagger? I was in shock. Then they dropped the bridge which was up in the ceiling to the platform in the middle of the crowd and they came back out and sang that was plus She Will Be Loved - acoustic with James - Stereo Hearts, and Daylight.



Instead of Xtina it was some brunette, who I'll have to Google cause I have no idea who it was. She was good just not as good as Xtina. She did has kickass boots though.

As do a lot of people lately so apparently I need some. Which Oldest Sister keeps insisting but see the only place I go is work. And the last time I wore boots to work was on a dare - the cowboy ones after Myers, sorry Connelly's wedding - and they kicked my ass. That was painful.

There's a reason I don't wear heels, you should have seen me in drama senior year, oh geez.

Silver high heels as Elaine Harper in Arsenic and Old Lace attempting to flee Jonathan and his henchman Einstein (who just happens to be the current boyfriend.)

"Run across the stage in these and don't make noise that the floor mics will pick up."

Yeah, right.

I got so much crap from Juwanna. Still have a picture of us holding them after a performance.

Where was I?

See what I said about ramblings? Amped just talking about the concert - it was this times ten last night which is why I couldn't sleep.



It rocked, so they sang and we sang - boyfriend included.

Which he will deny I'm sure so please bring it up in the future.

But he did good.

Was the perfect present.

So of course afterward he's like, you know I'll never be able to top that, right?

Ever the romantic showing up at work with flowers and all that.

He'll think of something.

After we got out of the building we got stuck in the lot for an hour, and like I said they sang about 20 plus the other 10 so it was way way way late by the time we got back.

Which is why I'm going to bed early tonight - early meaning midnight.

Which is 5 minutes from now.

So I should stop rambling and post the music and fiction and then crash.

As expected you're gonna get a lot of Maroon 5 for the next week.

Or two.

So get used to it.

Figuring out how I'm gonna divide this up. Think I'll go by album so favorites from Songs About Jane - came out 2002 - of course I can't post them all so you'll get 3 and then tomorrow you'll get more from SAJ and then it'll go from there on...

Harder To Breathe



This Love


She Will Be Loved


THEY LOOK SO YOUNG!

alright, all fantastic and now it's on to the Jax's finale. or should i say beginning.

In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni - Part Six

I get about halfway done with my own grave before my arms start shaking and I can’t dig anymore. The taller man looks at me, then at the dead girl, then at me again. I shake my head no. It doesn’t matter what I say, I’m dead anyway.

The taller man points his gun at my head. “Any last words, Mr. Jameson?” he asks.

I just stare at him.

“Go with God,” he says, cocking his gun.

“If there was a god, there wouldn’t be people like me,” I reply, closing my eyes waiting for the gunshot.

“Jax…Jax,” says a female voice.

Who was that? How do they know my name? I open my eyes and look around, seeing only the two men in front of me and the dead girl to my left. None of the three have moved since I closed my eyes or seem to notice another female presence.

“What?” I ask.

“Your alarm is going off,” says the voice.

Alarm? I blink and I’m gone. Ceiling. No stars. A dream. “Right, sorry,” I say reaching for my phone and turning off the alarm. Eight A.M. I sit up, throwing my legs over the side of the bed, and run my hands over my face. It was a dream. Stop sweating. In my stomach I can feel her eyes on me. I turn around and see the girl smiling at me. It’s probably against regulations to sleep with your assigned partner the night before a mission but I’ve never been one for following rules. She looks a lot better without the blood-splattered face. I should really get her name before the op tonight. She only knows mine, or one of my aliases rather, because I paid for the hotel room with a credit card.

I grab my duffel bag and walk to the bathroom to take a shower. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. After I’m done I return to find her dressed and cleaning her gun. Eight-fifteen A.M.

“Ready?” she asks, looking up at me from the chair in the corner.

“Yeah.”

She pulls a phone out from her bag and hands it to me. I hold down the number two key, activating the speed dial. It takes two rings before someone picks up.

“I can get you what you want,” I say simply. There is a pause.

“Blue building, corner of thirty-third and Thomas,” says a German voice. “Eleven P.M. Through the back door and up the stairs to the second floor. Come alone.” Dialtone.

I look at the girl. “Phase one, complete.”

***11:15 P.M.***

“Do we have an understanding, Herr Jameson?” the German asks, staring at me through the darkened office. 

...

In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni - We go into the circle by night and are consumed by fire.

and then it starts over again. cause it's a circle.

...for more pictures see facebook album...

In Vino Veritas.

Ex-wife interrogating ex-husband on the stand on Lie to Me.

Best courtroom scene ever.

Glad to see Melissa George as a good girl for once, for some reason she's always evil in the stuff I watch.

She reminds me a bit of Rose McGowan.

So today was good.

Slept in then headed to the mall for the Read Across America celebration - aka Dr. Seuss's birthday.

They had "celebrity readers" which I'm pretty sure were just newscasters. But there were cameras all over. Fellow librarians and I got caught in the back of a few shots, oh the joys.

Signed about 11 people up for library cards, directed traffic while the teens handed out bookmarks and painted faces. The kids also made bracelets and ate free pizza, huzzah.

One of my teens painted my face so I was walking contradiction all day with that plus my library nametag shopping in Hot Topic with death metal blaring in my ears.

Bought Chief a dinosaur t-shirt as she is obsessed with their short arms.

Traitor!!

Long story.

Anyway, we might be meeting up at the roller derby on Saturday which would be awesome as we haven't jammed out in like 3 years.

That chick got me through grade school man, then I went away to high school, then she left the state but now she's back and I still don't see her.

The rest of my day was spent on the couch texting the boyfriend and watching Lie to Me.

Where I still am 3 discs later.

But I finished the homework last night so I could do that today.

Tomorrow's gonna be fun with Grams birthday party and then the concert after.

Maroon 5, Neon Trees and Owl City.

Gonna rock it.

And you're gonna get overloaded with their music next week I'm sure.

But for now, I'll give you these and some fiction and then I'm out. Big day tomorrow.

Clip of the night: The boyfriend thinks this is hysterical.



hilarious but completely offensive.

Music Rec

One to Make Her Happy - Marque


they're austrian and this was like 13 years ago. too freakin' catchy for it's own good.

alright, to the fiction.

In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni - Part Five 

I lean over and grab the shovel. Maybe I can hit him with it. I look at the taller man who has a gun to the girl’s head. Maybe not. I walk over next to the grave and start digging. All those saying about the choices you make in life causing you to dig your own grave don’t make sense until now when I’m actually digging my own grave.

I can still hear the music coming from the truck. Drowning Pool. Let the bodies hit the floor. Fitting. The blood from my wrists makes it hard to grip the handle of the shovel but I dig anyway. First smaller scoops, then larger ones.

I look up and see them untying the girl and handing her the other shovel. The taller man pushes her toward me. She looks at me with tears in her eyes. I just nod. Just do what they say. It’ll be over soon.

The girl attempts to dig her hole but she can’t. She must be too weak from all the excitement. I have so much adrenaline I could probably run for miles if there wasn’t a gun pointed at me. She starts to cry after only a few scoops that look more like divots in the grass.

The taller man walks over closer to her and repeats his order. “Dig,” he says pointing to the grass. “Or I will shoot you without giving you a chance to run.” He laughs menacingly.

“You’re just going to shoot us anyway,” she replies in a small sounding voice.

The taller man smiles at this. “True.”

The girl keeps looking at him and drops her shovel. He looks down at the shovel then at her face and shoots her between the eyes. I try not to react, knowing that would be a sign of fear.

The two men just laugh.

you're my shooting star.

Oh Davies, what a day.

Yikes, haven't said that in a while.

Today was great.

Periodicals and new books in the morning, then some time to do supplies, worked the desk for a few hours, got a polish dog for lunch from the place I really need frequent flyer miles from (i go there basically every day, their entire staff knows me by name) watched Total Wipeout during lunch (yep, flew through the American then Canada then Australian ones, now I'm on Britain) and then the afternoon was the art show.

Huge success, had at least 50 people come in and check out the artwork whilst my TAB kids played music and directed traffic. Had one kid play piano, one played violin and the other two played clarinet. I was very impressed, especially by the eldest she really took charge when it came to playing and talking to people.

But then again all of my kids are awesome, I was just super proud of them today.

Tomorrow I'm sure I will be again - we're jamming out at the mall to celebrate Read Across America - aka Dr. Seuss's birthday - so we're doing some facepainting, handing out bookmarks, signing people up for cards, reading stories, etc.

Should be fun.

And that's all I've got for you because it is currently 2:40AM and I really need to be sleeping.

Stupid homework, I'm ready for graduation.

Was talking to Superwoman today who was like, "you'll have 2 doctors in the family when you get your PHD in Library Science." Think I literally laughed out loud. Told her I'd think about it after I get married which Queen of the Known Universe pointed out probably won't happen for another ten years - scroll down a post - so by the time hopefully she and the Library Goddess will forget about that idea.

Hey, inflation says I've got 5 years to get married. Oldest sister got married at 21, brother at 24, second sister at 27 so I've got 'til 30.

So even if it is just 5 years hopefully they'll have forgotten and moved on, cause there ain't no way I'm going back voluntarily AGAIN.

Once was enough. Even if I have flown through the program.

And gotten all A's except for that one A- ugh.

Nope, ain't happening. As much fun as it is - and I say that sincerely, I do love it - this is enough for me.

December and I'm done with homework eternally.

Please quote that to me in the future if I ever have thoughts about going back.

I'm counting on you to save me from the stress and frustration.

Cause I need sleep!!

So, music, fiction and I'm out.


Goodbye to You - Michelle Branch acoustic version


classic. she was great solo, but love her even more as The Wreckers with Jessica Harp. but you've already heard me ramble that tangent.


and then just cause i think it's funny...

Betty Glover's Library Workout Tape from 1987

"stamp, stamp!"

Do have to say the cutest thing today was seeing the 6 foot 5ish security guard walk hand in hand with a 2 year old to go play with toys in the youth services section.

Almost swooned, which is weird since I don't plan on having kids.

My mother hates it when I say that and his mother told us she wants 3.

Yeah, dropped that bomb about 3 months into the relationship so apparently she knew it would last before we did.

Moving on.

In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni - Part Four

I’m moving. They must have put me in the back of the pickup. I can feel the wind pass over me. Of course I can’t tell for sure since there is something over my head. My head hurts. I try to reach for it but my hands are tied behind my back. I sit up and kick out my legs. Something jumps. It must be the girl. I can hear her whimpering across from me.

“What happened?” I ask.

She sniffles. “They hit you from behind with your gun.”

That’s why my head feels like it’s going to explode. “Where are we?”

“I don’t know. They put something over my head. I can’t see.”

“Are you restrained?”

“Yes.”

The truck slows down as they turn onto a bumpy road. Back roads. Less people. Not a good sign. I try to pull against the ropes that are tying my hands. It hurts but the blood that it brings forth is worth it since it makes my hands slicker. I think I’ve almost got one hand free when the truck slows down and comes to a stop. I freeze and just listen. Rock music. Windows must be down. Doors open. Pause. Doors slam shut. Footsteps. Tailgate is opened. Then the truck slants as one of them gets in the back.

A hand grabs my arm and pulls me out of the back. I fall, not being able to get my footing in time. The taller man takes the bag off of my head. He smiles at me, his gold tooth shining in the moonlight. I look around and see a pond next to the blue pickup that drove us here. There are trees surrounding us on all sides. Private property maybe? They pull the girl out next. She falls beside me. They take off her hood and I can see the marks her tears have made on her cheeks. She doesn’t make a sound. Smart girl. You should never show fear to your enemy, but it doesn’t really matter, they’re going to kill us anyway.

“Get up,” he says, kicking me in the back. I use my hands tied behind me to push off the ground. I turn around expecting to see the girl doing the same but she hasn’t moved. He grabs her by the hair and pulls her around to the front of the truck. She whimpers but doesn’t scream… much. The headlights are on, shining toward a gap in the trees. She finally stands and he pushes her toward the gap. I stop, looking around for the German. Maybe I can make a run for it. I hear a gun cock behind me and feel it being pushed against the back of my head.

“Don’t even think about it,” says the German and kicks my leg, propelling me forward. I follow the taller man toward the gap and see uneven grass. Hills. Tiny hills. Graves. Not good. The German throws two shovels toward them and cuts the rope binding my hands. “Dig,” he says, pointing to a spot next to what looks like the most recent hill.

saw you leaning against that old record machine, saw the name of your band written on the marquee

Oh the joys of morning staff meetings.

Every year we have this thing called "inservice" where all the libraries in the system close and all the employees of all the different branches all come to the same place and we do seminars and breakout sessions and all that. I don't mind it cause I get to see all my home branch and other "we are, we are the youth of library" friends.

But apparently, this year they said screw it to the whole breakout sessions thing and we are instead going somewhere to learn about poverty. Which will be helpful, to our branch especially, but it won't feel like inservice. Cause instead of breakout sessions it's just one chick talking to us the whole day. So she better be good, or that's really gonna suck.

Anyway, for said "inservice" we have to read this book and answer these discussion questions and in this morning's meeting we went over those questions.

And Superwoman brought us donuts. Yeehaw.

It's gonna be interesting, and that's all I'm gonna say about it.

So that was this morning, after that most of the day I worked on that paperback spreadsheet mentioned in previous posts and finally got that sent off to the supervisor who works with collection management to do the ordering for the processing party that will take place in May.

Spent a lot of time at the desks, sent out reminder emails for the First Friday Art Show tomorrow, some of my teens are playing music whilst others greet guests. Should be fun. And then Saturday is the Read Across America thing at the mall. So it's a big weekend for TAB.

And me in turn, adding to that is the concert on Sunday.

Which means next week you will be overloaded with music by Maroon 5, Neon Trees and Owl City.

Get ready for it.

After work I met up with Slim Shady for supper. It was awesomeness, I pretty much tackled her in the parking lot. We ate pasta, it rocked. I have half of it in my fridge. Along with many other leftovers that I should really clean out before going shopping tomorrow.

Got to hear all about the new job, new place and the serious boyfriend. It's always amusing when it comes to boyfriend talk because we both started dating them at the same time. Funny to see how differently our relationships have progressed in the same amount of time. Granted she is older by like 2 years (used to call her Grandma scroll back a year and you'll find them) and my boyfriend has basically told me we're not getting married for like another 10 years.

I know, it was either Vegas or 10 years, should have stuck with Vegas.

Anyway, it was an excellent vent session. Which I severely needed cause I no longer have her or Fearless Leader around. Queen of the Known Universe and BossLady take the brunt of it nowadays along with the boyfriend but I don't want to scare them off so it was good to be able to talk stuff out with someone who's been there but now has outsider perspective.

If that makes sense.

And that was my day.

Oh and Carter's happy cause I got him his old food.

Cause I attempted to get him to eat different stuff but he just stared at me. So I had to go buy his regular stuff. Plus new treats.

Currently he's konked out next to me on the couch purring, I'm calling it a victory.

Moving on.

Music Rec and then the fiction.

C'mon - Ke$ha

as weird as her lyric video is the regular video version is even weirder. seriously. don't believe me go here.


Downtown - Lady Antebellum

great jam song.

On to the fiction.

In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni - Part Three

“It’s done,” I say into my watch as I exit through the back and walk to our next check point three blocks over. She’s been circling and slows down enough for me to open the door and jump in.

“Problems?” she asks looking over.

“None,” I reply, putting the briefcase down by my feet and my gun in my pocket. She turns left and heads toward our agency headquarters. After turning right five minutes later I notice, in my side mirror, a blue pickup taking a similar route.

“We’ve been compromised,” I say. She looks in her rearview mirror at the only vehicle following us down the rundown residential street. “Turn there,” I say, pointing a block ahead of us. “There’s a ramp to the freeway a block away.” She nods and turns at the corner. So do they. They pick up speed, knowing that we know.

“Why are they following us?” she looks over confused. She speeds up, starting to panic. “You did your job.”

“I’m a loose end,” I reply, opening the glove box, and reloading my gun with the ammo I find there. “Now that Noffke’s dead their person of interest will be free, but I still have all the information and can roll on them if ever caught.”

We enter the freeway and travel at full speed. She’s good, weaving in and out of traffic and losing the tail. For a while at least. They pick us up again as we exit the freeway twelve miles later and rear end us. She swerves off the road, trying to miss the black SUV in front of us. We spin ‘til the front of the mustang hits a tree, the impact setting off the airbags.

I push against the airbag and get out, pulling out my gun and crossing in front to pull her out. She’s hurt, her head hitting against the window as we spun, then slamming into the headrest from the impact of the airbag. I open her door and see four men approach from the pickup, guns out.

“Stay in the car,” I yell, firing off two shots at the two men in front, then ducking behind the open door. The girl pushes the airbag out of the way and crouches down in her seat. Retaliation shots hit the door and window causing shards of glass to land on my head. I look around the side of the door and see two men down. I hit what I shoot. Always. It’s kill or be killed in this business.

I see the German approaching me head on. He shoots twice, both missing but just barely. I step out from behind the door ready to fire but am grabbed from behind. The taller man must have gone around the car. He knocks the gun out of my hand in our struggle and everything goes black.

It's like the spam of chicken.

I'm exhausted.

So instead of doing the homework that's due Saturday I'm going to bed early.

Which I shouldn't but I need to.

Today was good. Periodicals in the morning then off-desk time to work on that paperback buy stuff. Finally sorted through all the titles and series, now just have to come up with the ISBN numbers - thank you Amazon copy and paste - which will take a few more hours I'm sure. Much longer than I remember from last year, but then again last year I think I had like 6 kids go, not 9. And none on a mission to make the longest list like I'm pretty sure 2 did this year.

Though 2 of my oldest have decided that next year they're just going to write down everything as a going away present.

Thanks for that. Feelin' the love.

Anyway, so I did that in the morning and of course carried them around with me all day thinking I could do more whilst on the desk but didn't happen cause we were swamped.

By the way, I'm typing this entire thing in an British accent because Lie to Me is on the background and it's that weird quirk that I have, you know, when I hear an accent and immediately talk back in it.

Makes work really interesting. Always have to pause, literally, so that I can remember my actual dialect and not offend someone.

But it was either British or Minnesotan - which is even worse and lasts longer, ask either member of Amber Squared. After watching New In Town the entire night and it wouldn't stop, they thought it was hilarious - because the boyfriend and I just watched Fargo.


Cult classic, we laughed. Scale of Awesome says 6/10.

Enjoyed all the "ya's" but totally cringed at the wood chipper.

That was gross.

Apparently we're on some sort of Frances McDormand kick.

slash Bruce Willis one.

So it was madness when we watched Moonrise Kingdom as they're both in it.

He gave me the 25th anniversary collection of Die Hard on blu-ray for my birthday. First four movies plus hours of bonus features. Best boyfriend ever.

Anyway, so that was this morning, and then tonight, but in the middle of all that I went to lunch with BossLady. Got some rice bowls and chatted about the joys of high school and relationships and all that.

We give each other a lot of crap, it's highly entertaining.

And tomorrow I'm grabbing supper with Slim Shady after work - totally stoked. I know you're all jealous. She's still wicked awesome, now she's just wicked awesome elsewhere since that she ditched us for greener pastures.

Well, geographically desirable greener pastures that is.

But Superwoman already made me pinky promise that I wouldn't ditch the library for a boy so when we get married I'm commuting.

And that was today.

Here's your music and some extras then the fiction.

Nearly Witches - Panic! at the Disco


nice moves brendon. dude needs a wireless mic.


50 State Stereotypes in 2 Minutes - this is hysterical


i can see seasonal depression from here.

56,000 square miles of dull.

at least we're not north dakota.


aaannd here's more.


don't ask.


Alright, onto In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni - Part Two

She’s pulling up to the red light when I get there. I open the door to the dirty black mustang and get in. I put the briefcase on my lap but keep the gun in my right hand. She smiles at me through her long blonde hair and takes off when the light turns green. We ride in silence. She drops me off three blocks from the station and I walk the rest.

I move my gun to the small of my back, pressed between me and my belt then tuck it under my jacket. I enter through the back of the police station and go up the stairs where I’m approached by two men in uniform. They look at each other confused, obviously not expecting company after midnight. One of them reaches for his glock when a gray-haired officer steps around the corner.

“He’s with me,” Detective Noffke says, and gestures for me to follow him. The uniform puts his gun back in his holster and lets me pass by. Noffke walks through the dark hallways to his office in the back.

I close the door behind me as he sits down behind his desk. I look around at his nonexistent filing system. He’s a dirty cop in more ways than one. There are papers scattered everywhere and no other furniture besides his desk and chair. The white walls are covered in newspaper clippings and judging by the amount of dust covering his blinds they probably haven’t been opened for the fifteen years he’s had this office. To my right are stacks of cardboard boxes with victims’ names written in black marker. His open homicide cases seem to be piling up. But that’s why I’m being paid to be here. Because of one case in particular. Delay its investigation by killing the lead detective. I put the briefcase on his desk and spin it toward him so he can see the money.

“That’s half of what I asked for,” he says, looking up at me.

“They’ll give me the other half after I kill you,” I say, pulling the gun out from my back and shooting him twice in the chest. I close the briefcase and turn to walk out. The uniforms heard the shots and are quickly approaching, guns at the ready. They’re quick but I’m quicker, shooting them both, one shot each, between the eyes. They both drop instantly. I step over them and keep walking without looking back. End of phase three.

and if i open my heart to you, i'm hoping you'll show me what to do

Things overheard at The Venue:
- "You have dibbles, I have dots."
- "The teacher wants me to write in curvis..."

oh tiny children, they are so cute. Especially when they sing lyrics they think are correct but are actually way off.

Boomer has it. Boomer has it. (Rumor Has It)
Moves my jacket, moves my jacket. (Moves Like Jagger)
I'll be up the boys (Call Me Maybe)

Went out with the sisters tonight for my birthday - all of them which we haven't done in a while. I enjoy our girls nights. Had some excellent food - I had surf and turf which I'm finishing now and then he brought us cheesecake for my birthday. I ate the middle stuff, Favorite Sister-In-Law ate the crust, Second Sister ate caramel off the top and Oldest Sister loved it all.

It was awesome, and work was good too. I'm currently sorting through all the lists compiled by the teens at Barnes and Noble for what they want added to the collection. But before I type everything up I have to check to see if each individual title is already in our collection. If so I skip it. Came up with an impressive list so far.

And that's basically all I've got from today.

Oh, I did some homework after dinner.

Tomorrow the boyfriend's coming up.

Okay, now that's all I've got.

Here's my music rec and then more fiction.

Way Back Into Love - Hugh Grant and Haley Bennett - Music & Lyrics

man, i used to listen to this soundtrack all the time. like obsessive crazy about it so it's weird that i haven't seen the movie or heard this song for like a year. it's still as good as i remember, and while i enjoy haley bennett i totally like the drew version better. but as they didn't have the video for that and did for this you get this

So as previously mentioned I hate the ending to the last one so until I can fix it you're stuck in an awkward temporary sort of hanging place. But I'll get there. In the meantime here's one that's actually finished.

College Fiction Writing Story #4

In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni - We go into the circle by night, we are consumed by fire - The Devil’s Verse

“Do we have an understanding, Herr Jameson?” the German asks, staring at me through the darkened office.

I nod, looking at the black leather briefcase open in front of me and assessing the amount. Fifty grand in cash. “We do,” I reply, closing the lid and pulling the briefcase toward me.

The German leans forward and puts his hands on the desk, his greasy black hair reflecting the light from the lamp in the corner. “You’ll receive the other half once the task is finished,” he says and gestures with his head toward the door.

No shaking hands. No paper trail. Phase two is complete. I turn and take my leave, passing the taller man standing guard by the door. Clearly the more muscular of the two men, he stands with his arms folded in front of him, his long brown jacket covering but not quite concealing the .48 caliber tucked into his belt.

I quickly descend the stairs to the back entrance and push the door open to the back alley. Aware that I’m probably being followed, my training kicks in. Don’t arise suspicion. Under the cover of darkness I walk in a normal pace with my head straight forward, transferring the briefcase to my left hand and retrieving the .38 Special tucked in the back of my belt to hold in my right hand. Looking up at the building next door I see cameras mounted on the corners. Stupid Americans and their security cameras. Do they really think a camera can stop someone like me? It’s not like anyone will be able to track me, my records have been wiped clean from every database thanks to connections with the higher authority.

With the briefcase in my left hand and a gun in my right, hidden by the long sleeves of my navy blue jacket, I walk two blocks north, counting each step in my head out of habit. Twelve-thirty-five, twelve-thirty-six, twelve-thirty-seven. The gun is a precaution against the gang members hidden in alleyways. I can’t afford to mess this up. “I have the money,” I say into the bug in my watch, slipping my gun in my pocket and raising my arm to hail a cab. It takes me five blocks west - the opposite direction of my actual destination. I’m used to being followed. I pay the driver in cash and get out, never releasing my grip on the briefcase. I notice a man climbing the stairs to an apartment complex and follow him inside then slip out the back door, pulling out my gun again. I pick up the pace through the dark alleyway filled with dumpsters and drug dealers. “Fifth and Westley,” I say into the watch and continue walking, counting each step and checking behind me every thirty seconds.