Patron Got Arrested For Drinking Here - Parody #13

Patron Got Arrested For Drinking Here

Written by CK

To the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer"

Patron got arrested for drinking here

Tried to hide the bottle up his sleeve

You can lie and say it’s a banana

Sorry, but the guard doesn’t believe

He’d been trying to play leapfrog

And we begged him to walk slow

But he was hooked on that libation

Running into shelves - they fell like dominos

We said this was the final warning

But he reached in his backpack

Pulled out his giant liquor bottle

And continued to act like a maniac

Patron got arrested for drinking here

Tried to hide the bottle up his sleeve

You can lie and say it’s a banana

Sorry, but the guard doesn’t believe

The patrons came to watch the hoopla

Taking pictures with their cell’s

Watch him dance around empty halls

Drinking beer and run from the guard when he yells

Never boring when they break the law

Our branch gets lot and lots of flack

And we just can’t help but wonder

Should we help the guard chase him

He doubled back

Patron got arrested for drinking here

Tried to hide the bottle up his sleeve

You can lie and say it’s a banana

Sorry, but the guard doesn’t believe

Now he’s standing on the table

For that one he is way too big

If it breaks he’ll be a vandal

But he doesn’t care and takes another swig

He’s making a break toward the door

Better watch out for yourselves

That’s when the guard tries to convince

The man that he can’t hide out

In the shelves

Patron got arrested for drinking here

Tried to hide the bottle up his sleeve

You can lie and say it’s a banana

Sorry, but the guard doesn’t believe

Original Lyrics - Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and grandpa we believe

She'd been drinking too much eggnog
And we begged her not to go
But she forgot her medication
And she staggered out the door into the snow

When we found her Christmas morning
At the scene of the attack
She had hoof-prints on her forehead
And incriminating Claus marks on her back

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and grandpa we believe

Now we're all so proud of grandpa
He's been taking this so well
See him in there watching football
Drinking beer and playing cards with cousin Mel

It's not Christmas without Grandma
All the family's dressed in black
And we just can't help but wonder
Should we open up her gifts
Or send them back (send them back)

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and grandpa we believe

Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fig
And the blue and silver candles
That would just have matched the hair on grandma's wig

I've warned all my friends and neighbors

Better watch out for yourselves

They should never give a license
To a man who drives a sleigh
And plays with elves

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and grandpa we believe