She thinks my tractor's sexy.

I'd like to introduce a new segment to the blog.

It's entitled "Weird News".

See, you've already got the useless information, music recommendations, songs you know but forgot you knew them, word of the day, quote of the day, reference question of the day... but apparently that wasn't enough.

And if Jay Leno and Seth Myers can do it I can too.

Though I did prefer Jimmy and Tina...or Amy and Tina.

Anyway, here you go, Weird News.

Day One:

But don't expect this daily, only on days when I work with my favorite comic as we've decided we should go on the road with our act. I'm the straightman who reads the headline, he's the comic who comes up with a witty retort.

Here were some from today:


"Woman arrested for lumber shopping in the nude."
"I would think the splinters would be punishment enough."

"How to grow a 14 foot mustache."
"Why to grow a 14 foot mustache."

"Man bit by rattlesnake at Walmart."
"But it only did 60% damage."


And here are others I found amusing.

Family awakes and finds Lexus in their pool. did they find my phone underneath it?

Hair dryers mailed from Paris to New Zealand. if only someone would send me one. i'm roughing man.

Dozens of flyswatters wash up on Alaska beaches. where are those when i need them?

Thief breaks into car, takes nothing leaves tortillas. yeah but they forgot the salsa.

Man surgically attaches ipod to arm. i'm into music, constantly have my headphones in, but now I have ammo to say, hey at least I'm not that guy.

Iphone app that reads animal and zombie minds i'm tempted to download this and point it at Carter.

Lady Gaga Banned from Indonesia. apparently some people can read her pokerface.


Interestingly enough that was not the end of weirdness for today. I went in 10-7, and the 5-7 was spent at a middle school helping children fish for bookmarks, stickers and transformer tattoos. Cause our library rocks.

But I got to spend the afternoon with Girlscout, Team Awesome reunited, which was fun as I don't often get to work with her. Judging by the amount of paperclips we collected that were connected to the "fish" we did pretty well. And it flew by fairly quickly mostly because the mass amount of children running through the place.

Songs You Know But Forgot You Knew Them:

"Meet Virginia" Train Live

even i forgot about this one. "so awkward" "age appropriate"

"She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" Kenny Chesney

though how can anyone forget this one, really? but sorry, i don't think his trains are sexy.


Okay so I got some flack, multiple flack, flacks? cause there was no Word of the Day yesterday. And apparently I'm supposed to put it in a sentence.

So here you go, tomorrow's Word of the Day: Gammerstang - a tall, awkward woman. Related words are "gomerel" - fool, simpleton - and "gamphrel" - blockhead - Without the awkward part, such a person could be described as "leptosomatic" - lean and tall.

IAS: "Slim and I saw that Gammerstang stumbling out of the bathroom."

OUT!