Where Oh Where Are You Tonight?

Remember when you went out hunting for possum? -- You said you’d get one and wouldn’t be long. -- That’s ten years ago and I’m sitting here waiting -- beginning to wonder if something went wrong.

Down here on the farm the weather is messy -- lying around with nothing to do -- when you went away you took my cow Bessie -- I miss her darling more than I miss you.

Pardon me dear if my words seem bitter -- There’s no defense for my broken dreams. -- I didn’t know I married a quitter -- my life is coming apart at the seams.

Remember you phoned me a-sobbin' and cryin' -- The dog bit your maw, and drug her around -- You said she looked pale and thought she was dying -- I said "Don't worry, I'll buy a new hound."

The noises you made at our supper table -- Your habits, my dear, were surely absurd -- But how many times do I have to tell you -- Soup is a dish to be seen and not heard.

You took out your false teeth, your wig and your glasses – You were just scattered all over the place. – I wanted to kiss you and hug you so tightly – I guess I would have if I’d found your face.



Where Oh Where are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and thought I found true love. You met another and *pbbb* you was gone.

Just when it finally got out of your head I hit you with it again. THAT'S HOW I FELT! It's been months, MONTHS! And then out of nowhere, BAM!! Back in my head. I'll never escape it.

Those are the verses I made my 7th and 8th graders sing this year for their skit at camp. Their parents love me. Yes, 7th and 8th grade boys singing. And they did it. Cause they got to spit at the girls.

My father seemed to enjoy it. It was his fault anyway. Not that he told me to make the kids do it, that was my own twisted idea, but he's the one who introduced me to that crazy, insane, obnoxiously country, hick shows. And got the freaking song stuck in my head in the first place. So, of course, when the parents say they want me to do it again next year what does he do? Hands me a stack of index cards with lyrics on them for next year. Oh yeah, there are more verses. They did that skit for years. YEARS! It will never die. But at least this way I'm good for one skit next year. And the year after that...and the year after that...and the year after that...