I'm an awards show junkie. Which I'm sure you've realized. Especially if we're friends on Facebook, then your newsfeed kind of blows up.
Sorry.
Anyway, Sketch and I like to commentate. I had a couple of other guests jump in tonight, it was awesomeness.
Here are some of the highlights:
Seth MacFarlane as the host.
While some of you may have found him obnoxious I found him charming. And that's coming from someone who HATES Family Guy. With a passion. I can't stand it. However, tonight he rocked.
Here are some of my favorite one-liners:
-"And the quest to make Tommy Lee Jones laugh begins now."
-"That's as bad as it gets if it makes you feel better. It's really not as bad as it gets."
-"It's an honor that everyone else said no."
-"Tonight's ceremony is being watched by close to a billion people worldwide. Which is why Jodie Foster will be up here in a bit to ask for her privacy."
-"It'll be 16 years before she's too old for Clooney."
-"I really hope I don't lose to that old lady, Jennifer Lawrence."
-"And the quest to make Tommy Lee Jones laugh begins now."
-"That's as bad as it gets if it makes you feel better. It's really not as bad as it gets."
-"It's an honor that everyone else said no."
-"Tonight's ceremony is being watched by close to a billion people worldwide. Which is why Jodie Foster will be up here in a bit to ask for her privacy."
-"It'll be 16 years before she's too old for Clooney."
-"I really hope I don't lose to that old lady, Jennifer Lawrence."
-"So you got nominated for an Oscar. Something a 9-year-old can do."
-"Whether she wins or loses, it's just an honor that Meryl Streep wasn't nominated."*about J-Law *
-"150 years and it's still too soon."
-"Daniel Day Lewis, loved the beard but Lincoln's voice was kinda weird."
-"Adele's screaming out her song."
-"You guys have made some beautiful and inspiring movies. I made Ted."
-"Current Star Trek stars and future Priceline spokespeople."
-"Plus the cast of Prometheus explains what the hell was going on there."
-"And also a celebration of every women's innate ability to never ever let anything go."
-"They remember when this town was nothing but cocaine trees as far as the eyes could see. It's late."
-"He's a boy wizard and she's a girl vampire. So together they're pretty much everything the Christian Rights say is wrong with Hollywood."
-"It doesn't matter that his name sounds like a Russian man sneezing."
He had some fun back and forth with fellow stars as well:
Seth: "You'll be at the future Oscars when the rest of us are dead."
Kristin Chenoweth: "You have all Tom Cruise's talen, and you're equally as tall."
Sally Field: "Oh hell, they're gonna give it to Anne."
Captain Kirk: "Oh trust me, in July 2015 you join the chorus..."
and there were some great presenters as well
Most of the cast of the Avengers - minus Scarlett and Chris - presented for Best Cinematographer
Chris Evans: "Convey that Robert is as tall as the rest of us by framing out the apple boxes that he so often is standing on."
...
Samuel L. Jackson: "Superhero can't even get an envelope open."
Jennifer Aniston: "Welcome to the club, Chan. Not so fun is it?" *about waxing*
Gotta love Jennifer Aniston. She's in my top 3 favorite actresses of all time, the other two being Drew Barrymore (happy birthday 2 days late) and Rachel Weisz. But now I love her even more cause she's engaged to Seamus!! aka Justin Theroux. Who is fantastic. "I'm gonna teach you and your friends about pain." look a Drew tie-in. and No, that will never get old.
My two favorite speeches were for Best Picture,
Ben Affleck: "I want to thank my wife. Who I don't normally associate with Iran."
and Daniel Day Lewis for Best Actor.
Day Lewis: "It's a strange thing because three years ago, before we decided to do a straight swap, I had actually been committed to play Margaret Thatcher. And Meryl was Steven's first choice for Lincoln. I'd like to see that version. And Steve didn't have to persuade me to play Lincoln, but I had to persuade him that perhaps if I was going to do it, that Lincoln shouldn't be a musical."
I died.
J-Law rocked it tonight as well winning for best actress and then falling on her way to the stage. "You're only standing because I fell." but really she did deserve it.
And this is gonna sound awful, but my favorite thing of the entire night that I actually went back to watch was her reaction during MacFarlane's Boobs Song. When he said they haven't seen hers and she did this like celebratory fist bump. It's hysterical, and apparently I'm not the only one cause someone's already posted just that part onto YouTube.
Watch this.
I know, I know, it's awful but I died and have rewound it like 8 times.
What else?
I totally freaked out when the cast of Chicago came onstage. And then when Catherine Zeta-Jones performed. And Sketch knows me so well, totally called it. But they're fantastic and that was Renee freakin' Zellweger!
Also, Anne Hathaway was excellent - really come a long way from the Princess Diaries. Which I'm allowed to love cause that was my generation. Yes, I really am that young. I'm sorry.
Weird Factors:
Totally weird that there was a tie. Hasn't been one since 1986, there have now been 5.
-Tonight's
-Barbara Steisand and Katharine Hepburn for best actress in 1968,
-2 more ties in the Best Documenary category in 1949 and 1986
-Plus once for Best Live Action Short Film in 1986.
go here for more info
What was with the first lady on the Oscars? Though I guess it's not completely out there, Bill Clinton did introduce Lincoln at the Emmy's.
-"Whether she wins or loses, it's just an honor that Meryl Streep wasn't nominated."*about J-Law *
-"150 years and it's still too soon."
-"Daniel Day Lewis, loved the beard but Lincoln's voice was kinda weird."
-"Adele's screaming out her song."
-"You guys have made some beautiful and inspiring movies. I made Ted."
-"Current Star Trek stars and future Priceline spokespeople."
-"Plus the cast of Prometheus explains what the hell was going on there."
-"And also a celebration of every women's innate ability to never ever let anything go."
-"They remember when this town was nothing but cocaine trees as far as the eyes could see. It's late."
-"He's a boy wizard and she's a girl vampire. So together they're pretty much everything the Christian Rights say is wrong with Hollywood."
-"It doesn't matter that his name sounds like a Russian man sneezing."
He had some fun back and forth with fellow stars as well:
Seth: "You'll be at the future Oscars when the rest of us are dead."
Kristin Chenoweth: "You have all Tom Cruise's talen, and you're equally as tall."
Sally Field: "Oh hell, they're gonna give it to Anne."
Captain Kirk: "Oh trust me, in July 2015 you join the chorus..."
and there were some great presenters as well
Most of the cast of the Avengers - minus Scarlett and Chris - presented for Best Cinematographer
Chris Evans: "Convey that Robert is as tall as the rest of us by framing out the apple boxes that he so often is standing on."
...
Samuel L. Jackson: "Superhero can't even get an envelope open."
Jennifer Aniston: "Welcome to the club, Chan. Not so fun is it?" *about waxing*
Gotta love Jennifer Aniston. She's in my top 3 favorite actresses of all time, the other two being Drew Barrymore (happy birthday 2 days late) and Rachel Weisz. But now I love her even more cause she's engaged to Seamus!! aka Justin Theroux. Who is fantastic. "I'm gonna teach you and your friends about pain." look a Drew tie-in. and No, that will never get old.
My two favorite speeches were for Best Picture,
Ben Affleck: "I want to thank my wife. Who I don't normally associate with Iran."
and Daniel Day Lewis for Best Actor.
Day Lewis: "It's a strange thing because three years ago, before we decided to do a straight swap, I had actually been committed to play Margaret Thatcher. And Meryl was Steven's first choice for Lincoln. I'd like to see that version. And Steve didn't have to persuade me to play Lincoln, but I had to persuade him that perhaps if I was going to do it, that Lincoln shouldn't be a musical."
I died.
J-Law rocked it tonight as well winning for best actress and then falling on her way to the stage. "You're only standing because I fell." but really she did deserve it.
And this is gonna sound awful, but my favorite thing of the entire night that I actually went back to watch was her reaction during MacFarlane's Boobs Song. When he said they haven't seen hers and she did this like celebratory fist bump. It's hysterical, and apparently I'm not the only one cause someone's already posted just that part onto YouTube.
Watch this.
I know, I know, it's awful but I died and have rewound it like 8 times.
What else?
I totally freaked out when the cast of Chicago came onstage. And then when Catherine Zeta-Jones performed. And Sketch knows me so well, totally called it. But they're fantastic and that was Renee freakin' Zellweger!
Also, Anne Hathaway was excellent - really come a long way from the Princess Diaries. Which I'm allowed to love cause that was my generation. Yes, I really am that young. I'm sorry.
Weird Factors:
Totally weird that there was a tie. Hasn't been one since 1986, there have now been 5.
-Tonight's
-Barbara Steisand and Katharine Hepburn for best actress in 1968,
-2 more ties in the Best Documenary category in 1949 and 1986
-Plus once for Best Live Action Short Film in 1986.
go here for more info
What was with the first lady on the Oscars? Though I guess it's not completely out there, Bill Clinton did introduce Lincoln at the Emmy's.
Another weird thing, the orchestra was performing live from a totally different location? But I guess it worked.
Anyway, it was a great night of fun for me and my commentators.
Alright, on to the fiction cause I'm counting the above clip as my song of the day. Cause really, what tops that?
another short one, but yesterday's was long enough to make up for it and the one before that.
Life of a Teenage Writer: Part Five
Sunday had flown by pretty quickly. It usually did. Grams said that it was because it was his last day before he was forced to go back to school. On Monday he returned to school and tried remain unnoticed. He wasn’t sure if the rumors of what happened at the book launch had reached the ears of the popular kids. If they hadn’t they would soon. Everyone knew everything about everybody in a small town. Middlebrook was no different from any other small town. Rumors spread like wildfire. After his parents were killed in the shooting it was the only thing people talked about for months. Nothing like that had ever happened like that before in Middlebrook.
Some people were really supportive at first, bringing over casseroles and trying to distract him, but other people preferred just to gossip about the incident and go quiet when he or Grams would walk into the vicinity. That’s when A.J. started watching his feet while he walked instead of looking out at the world. Watching your feet meant seeing less people stare when you walked into a room.
The only thing the town had going for them was their football team. Their quarterback, Chris Parsons, was going to take them to state this year. Everywhere he went people would pat him on the back and tell him how great he had played. He was a star and he knew it. His blonde hair was always perfect and his rich parents had supplied him with all the designer labeled clothes anyone could ever want. So when he didn’t get respect from say, a writer who had dreams of his own, he’d shut him into a locker or have his buddies throw him in the dumpster.
A.J. managed to avoid Chris and make it through the day unscathed. After school he grabbed his homework and walked out of the building. He pulled out his car keys but dropped them when he noticed someone who wasn’t supposed to be there.
and i'm out.
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