"Here's a warning, Happy Birthday."

You know what's even better than getting pulled over?

Getting pulled over while all your family is there to witness it.

Both your parents and all of your siblings.

On your birthday.

Yeah.

That was fun.

Apparently going 35 in a 25 is illegal.

I made it all the way to the driveway when he pulled me over.

"So it's your birthday huh?"
"Yep. And my niece's baptism. Hence all the cars."
"Well, here's a warning. Happy birthday."

He thought I wasn't familiar with the area and didn't realize it was 25 and not 35.

I didn't mention I lived there for four years.

But I SWEAR that road is 35.

Or at least it used to be when I lived there.

Whatever.

It was a warning.

I can live with that.

Might have it framed.

I never get warnings.

It's not like I speed a lot.

Or get pulled over a lot.

Just lately.

Should work on that.

So birthdays.

Yeah.

My niece got baptized, that was cool. Hung out with the family most of the afternoon. Helped Favorite Sister-In-Law with some homework. Kind of my niche apparently, technology-based assignments.

Last time I helped her make a really kickass powerpoint.

This time it's something about tracks and links and all that.

Seemed pretty cool.

After that I jammed with Bubby at their house since Squirt had a tournament in Omaha and both parentals went to watch.

We ordered pizza, ate ice-cream cake and watched movies.

He's so funny.

Bubby: "It's your birthday, so I'm paying for the pizza."
Me: "No you're not. You're twelve. I'm putting it on my card."
Bubby: "I'm gonna put money in your wallet."
Me: "You don't know where my wallet is."
Bubby: "I'm gonna hide money in your car."
Me: "Yeah, I'll find it 2 months later and be like, twelve bucks, what?"

Goof.

My family rocks.

Got a vacuum.

And a blender.

And some dishes, cookware, and clothes.

Stoked.

And really curious about the blender.

I broke my last one.

Wasn't technically my fault.

Stupid dishwasher.

That thing hates me.

As do most of my appliances.

Or at least that's my excuse for not using them.

But the dishwasher needs a name.

Like, in college, we had this really annoying heater/air conditioner thing that everyone called "The whale" or Moby or whatever, cause it was like super loud and obnoxious and turned on and off at odd hours.

I think I called it Roberta.

Don't ask.

Anyway, it was obnoxious, and somehow having names for things that are obnoxious makes life easier.

Cause if they do something wrong you have something to yell and blame it on.

Like, "Shut up Roberta, I'm trying to sleep!"

or

"Damnit, Thomas, why don't you work?" which I yell quite frequently at my navigational system.

As in Cindy Thomas.

Not as in Tom-Tom.

And yes that's a Women's Murder Club reference.

Just had to clear that up.

Not that I want to yell at Cindy Thomas.

She rocks.

And she can find out secrets and scandals and all that, she's a good reporter.

So I called my nav system Thomas cause she can get me out of jams.

Though now, since I haven't updated her in forever, she gets me into more jams than she gets me out of.

Apparently I had to clear that up as well.

Moving on.

Dishwasher.

I think I'm gonna call it...

Lucille?

Hmmm....

Yeah.

Lucille.

Lucille the dishwashing machine.

Works.

No, I have no explanation for that name either.

Lucille is evil and she hates me.

Or maybe I'm just using too much soap.

More to come on that later.

You know what?

I love teachers.

I do.

About 80% of my friends and family are, or were at some point, teachers.

Both of my parents were teachers.

But the thing about teachers? Is that they know exactly what to say.

All the time.

That can make them very obnoxious patrons.

Like, if they have fines over the limit and they can't check out.

Today I got hit with, "So, as a taxpaying citizen, you're saying that I'm not allowed to check out books."

Snap.

It's not me saying it personally, it's the system that won't let you check out.

But they don't get that it's the system, they think it's me.

Um.

Supervisor?

Can I just say how glad I am, in those instances, that I am physically the lowest on the totem pole of desk workers.

Well, I guess second-lowest now.

But there are so many people above me that I can pass that off to, it's fantastic!

Not so fantastic for them, but still.

Great for me!

And they're supervisors for a reason, they can handle it.

I cannot.

Apparently.

Which sucks, as there's usually one of those instances once a week.

I'm a magnet, I swear.

But this one wasn't just me, there were multiple staff members around who thought the instance was a little over the top.

Whatever, it's done.

Like the warning for speeding.

It happens, you keep your head down and move on.

This is especially helpful in circumstances when you have stalkers.

Keep your head down and just keep moving.

Did I mention that today was a day?

I have this old lady stalker woman person chick that follows me around and talks to me about her personal life and it's really awkward, so usually when I see her my coworkers cover while I go and roam until she goes away.

She was in today, but got distracted in youth services.

It's okay, The New Girl shielded me with her sweater.

She too has people who ask random library questions in order to just speak with her.

I think we're too nice.

Maybe that's it.

I gotta be meaner.

Like stone-cold mean face or something.

Wordie says I have the glare down.

Like down pat. (is it down pact or down pat?)

I just don't use it.

Often.

Just on old boyfriends.

I know I'm rambling.

I haven't posted in two days.

Or checked Facebook.

People think I went underground or something.

Song of the day before I think of something else to ramble about.

Sometimes I like being ironic.

"Zip-a-dee-doo-dah" Song of the South

this song is the only thing satisfactual about that movie.

Did you know that the star - James Baskett - wasn't even able to attend the premiere because Atlanta - where Disney introduced it himself - was still segregated?

Ridiculous.

Sorry, I'll stop with all the rambling.

You know what is satisfactual?

The Civil Wars and their iTunes live album.

Had to download it, it's fantastic.

Totally jammed in the backroom to it today.

The backroom is great for escapes, by the way.

Alright, Carter and I are out before I can think up more tangents.

Wonderful feeling, Wonderful day.