It's Your Fine - Parody #8

It’s Your Fine

To the tune of “He’s So Fine” by the Chiffons

Written by CK

Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang
Do-lang, do-lang

It's your fine
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
Broke the spine
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
Checked out a book
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
Dropped it in a brook
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)

I don't know how you did it
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
You tripped over a rock
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
It would be for your benefit
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
To learn how to walk
(Do-lang, do-lang)

You're not a soft spoken guy
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
Definitely not shy
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
Makes me wonder if I
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
Call a supervisor should try
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)

But then I know you can't yell
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
Can't yell at me forever
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
Not at this decibel
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
But it feels like forever
(Do-lang, do-lang)

It's your fine
(Oh yeah)
Gonna draw the line
(Oh yeah)
Sooner or later
(Oh yeah)
I hope it's not later
(Oh yeah)
You're gonna have to pay
(Oh yeah)
For that book about ballet
(Oh yeah)
I just can't wait, I just can't wait
For you to pull your wallet out

You're not a king
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
So get off your throne
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
You won't do anything I've asked
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
Anything but moan
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)

For it's your fine
(Your fine)
Your fine
(Your fine)
It's your fine
(Your fine)
Your fine
(Your fine)
It's your fine
(Your fine)
Oh yeah
(It's your fine)
It's your fine

Original Lyrics

Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang
Do-lang, do-lang

He's so fine
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
Wish he were mine
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
That handsome boy over there
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
The one with the wavy hair
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)

I don't know how, I'm gonna do it
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
But I'm gonna make him mine
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
He's the envy of all the girls
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
It's just a matter of time
(Do-lang, do-lang)

He's a soft spoken guy
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
Also seems kinda shy
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
Makes me wonder if I
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
Should even give him a try
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)

But then I know he can't shy
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
He can't shy away forever
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
And I'm gonna make him mine
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
If it takes me forever
(Do-lang, do-lang)

He's so fine
(Oh yeah)
Gotta be mine
(Oh yeah)
Sooner or later
(Oh yeah)
I hope it's not later
(Oh yeah)
We gotta get together
(Oh yeah)
The sooner the better
(Oh yeah)
I just can't wait, I just can't wait
To be held in his arms

If I were a queen
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
And he asked me to leave my throne
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
I'll do anything that he asked
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)
Anything to make him my own
(Do-lang, do-lang, do-lang)

For he's so fine
(So fine)
So fine
(So fine)
He's so fine
(So fine)
So fine
(So fine)
He's so fine
(So fine)
Oh yeah
(He's so fine)
He's so fine

Readin' Adventure - Parody #7

"Readin' Adventure"

Written by CK

To the tune of "Surfin' Safari"

Let’s start readin’ now

Everybody’s learning how

Come on an adventure with me

(Come on an adventure with me…)

Early in the morning we’ll be readin’ now

Some patrons will be reading along

We’re loading up our Woody

With our books inside

And headin’ out reading prologues

Come on (readin’) patron wait and see (readin’ adventure)

Yes I’m gonna (readin’) take you readin’ (readin’ adventure) with me

Come along (readin’) patron wait and see (readin’ adventure)

Yes I’m gonna (readin’) take you readin’ (readin’ adventure) with me

Let’s start readin’ now

Everybody’s learning how

Come on an adventure with me

(Come on an adventure with me…)

At Anderson and Bethany

They’re reading King Lear

At Walt it’s Henry David Thoreau

They’re reading King and Patterson over at Gere

So if you join in get ready to go

Come on (readin’) patron wait and see (readin’ adventure)

Yes I’m gonna (readin’) take you readin’ (readin’ adventure) with me

Come along (readin’) patron wait and see (readin’ adventure)

Yes I’m gonna (readin’) take you readin’ (readin’ adventure) with me

Let’s start readin’ now

Everybody’s learning how

Come on an adventure with me

(Come on an adventure with me…)

At South they’re reading Cather cause she’s really cool

They like Neihardt and Sandoz too

I tell you reading’s mighty wild

It’s getting bigger every day

If you like a book then leave a review

Come on (readin’) patron wait and see (readin’ adventure)

Yes I’m gonna (readin’) take you readin’ (readin’ adventure) with me

Come along (readin’) patron wait and see (readin’ adventure)

Yes I’m gonna (readin’) take you readin’ (readin’ adventure) with me

Let’s start readin’ now

Everybody’s learning how

Come on an adventure with me

(Come on an adventure with me…)

With me

Readin’ adventure

With me

Readin’ adventure

…

Original Lyrics - Surfin' Safari

Let's go surfin' now
Everybody's learning how
Come on and safari with me
(Come on and safari with...)

Early in the morning we'll be startin' out
Some honeys will be coming along
We're loading up our Woody
With our boards inside
And headin' out singing our song

Come on (surfin') baby wait and see (surfin' safari)
Yes I'm gonna (surfin') take you surfin' (surfin' safari)with me
Come along (surfin') baby wait and see (surfin' safari)
Yes I'm gonna (surfin') take you surfin' (surfin' safari)with me

Let's go surfin' now
Everybody's learning how
Come on and safari with me
(Come on and safari with...)

At Huntington and Malibu
They're shooting the pier
At Rincon they're walking the nose
We're going on safari to the islands this year
So if you're coming get ready to go

Come on (surfin') baby wait and see (surfin' safari)
Yes I'm gonna (surfin') take you surfin' (surfin' safari)with me
Come along (surfin') baby wait and see (surfin' safari)
Yes I'm gonna (surfin') take you surfin' (surfin' safari)with me

Let's go surfin' now
Everybody's learning how
Come on and safari with me
(Come on and safari with...)

They're anglin' in Laguna in Cerro Azul
They're kicking out in Doheny too
I tell you surfing's mighty wild
It's getting bigger every day
From Hawaii to the shores of Peru

Come on (surfin') baby wait and see (surfin' safari)
Yes I'm gonna (surfin') take you surfin' (surfin' safari)with me
Come along (surfin') baby wait and see (surfin' safari)
Yes I'm gonna (surfin') take you surfin' (surfin' safari)with me

Let's go surfin' now
Everybody's learning how
Come on and safari with me
(Come on and safari with...)

With me
Surfin' Safari
With me
Surfin' Safari
With me

…

Talking to Myself - Parody #6

Talking to Myself

Written by Tracy T.

To the tune of “Dancing with Myself” by Billy Idol

Up and down the floors I go
Running in here is a no-no
A-with the CD selection
Then I see my reflection
And I'm talking to myself

A-when the usual crowd's in sight
A-in the crowded printer line
Well, I wait so long for good conversation
So I'm talking to myself

Oh oh, Talking to myself
Oh oh, a-talking to myself
Well, there's nothing to lose
And there's nothing to prove, well,
Talking a-to myself

If I looked all around the room
And I've got this sense of doom
But the librarian's eyes seem to pass me by
And leave me talking to myself

So I'll linger in the stacks
'Cause I don't like to turn my back
When I take a walk, I really like to talk,
And I'll be talking to myself

Oh oh, Talking a-to myself,
Oh, oh, talking to myself
When I take a walk, I really like to talk,
When I take a walk, I really like to talk,
When I take a walk, I really like to talk,
Oh, oh, oh, oh oh
Oh, oh, oh talkin' to myself.
Oh, oh, talking to myself, oh, oh,
Sweat, sweat, etc.

Dancing With Myself

Original Lyrics

By Billy Idol

On the floors of Tokyo
A-down in London town's a go go
A-with the record selection,
And the mirror's reflection,
I'm a dancin' with myself

A-when there's no one else in sight,
A-in crowded lonely night
Well, I wait so long for my love vibration
And I'm dancing with myself

Oh oh, Dancing with a-myself,
Oh, oh, dancing with myself
Well, there's nothing to lose
And there's nothing to prove, well,
Dancing a-with myself

If I looked all over the world
And there's every type of girl
But your empty eyes seem to pass me by
And leave me dancin' with myself.

So let's sink another drink
Cause it'll give me time to think
If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance
And I'll be dancin' with myself

Oh oh, Dancing with a-myself,
Oh, oh, dancing with myself
Well, there's nothing to lose
And there's nothing to prove, well,
Dancing a-with myself

Well if I looked all over the world
And there's every type of girl
But your empty eyes seem to pass me by
And leave me dancin' with myself.

So let's sink another drink
Cause it'll give me time to think
If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance
And I'll be dancin' with myself

Oh oh, Dancing a-with myself,
Oh, oh, dancing with myself
If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance
If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance
If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance
Oh, oh, oh, oh oh
Oh, oh, oh dancin' with myself.
Oh, oh, dancin' with myself, oh, oh,
Sweat, sweat, etc.

Do You Wanna Call the Guard - Parody #5

Do You Wanna Call the Guard

To the tune of “Do You Wanna Dance” by the Beach Boys

Written by CK and Sharon

Do you want to scream and call the guard?
Tell me patron is your life scarred?
Oh patron,
Do you want to call the guard?

Do you want to call under the fluorescent light?
Did somebody want to start a fight?
Oh patron,
Do you want to call the guard?

Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?

Do you want to call under the fluorescent light?
Did somebody threaten to bite?
Oh patron,
Do you want to call the guard?

Do you want to call under the fluorescent light?
Did someone squeeze you way too tight?
Oh patron,
Do you want to call the guard?

Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?

Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?

Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?
Do you, do you,
Do you want to call the guard?

Original Lyrics

Do you want to dance and hold my hand
Tell me baby I'm your lover man
Oh baby

do you want to dance?

Do you want to dance under the moonlight
Hold me baby all through the night
Oh baby
Do you want to dance?

Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance?

Do you want to dance under the moonlight
Kiss me baby all through the night
Oh baby
Do you want to dance?

Do you want to dance under the moonlight
Squeeze me, squeeze me baby all through the night
Oh baby
Do you want to dance?

Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance?

Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance

Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance
Do you, do you, do you
Do you want to dance

Sound of Silence - Parody #4

Sound of Silence

To the tune of “Sound of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel

Written by CK

Hello bookdrop, my old friend.

I've come to collect you again.

Lurkers shifting softly scheming

Man in the corner loudly screaming

Says that visions were implanted in his brain

But we maintain

There must be sound of silence

As I roam I walk alone

Patrons ask me for headphones

In the lab they have set up camp

One yelling something about a leg cramp

When my eyes were burned by the flash of some pants too tight

That split on sight

I scream in sounds of silence

And all the naked girls I saw

Ten thousand of them, maybe more

People looking without speaking

People hearing without listening

People closing browsers as soon as I walk by

Like I’m a spy

And I scream on in silence

Fools, said I, you do not know

Inside there is no tobacco

Hear my words that I might teach you

Take my arm I’ll sic Pat Leach on you

But my words, on silent ears they fell

And echoed in the wells of silence

And the people loudly played

Online games and serenade

No singing in the lab first warning

But they continue on performing

And a patron said, there are things smeared all over the bathroom walls

And in the stalls

And I scream in the sounds of silence

Original Lyrics

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

Fools, said I, you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sounds of silence

Intoxication - Parody #3

Intoxication 
To the tune of "Infatuation" by Rod Stewart
Written by Tracy


Early in the day after I sleep
I don’t work and I don’t eat
I’ve been drunk all day, can concentrate
I’m about to make a big mistake
I’m not going to the park
This booze is gonna make me shart
Weavin’ around, how I behave
Passin’ out all over the place
Oh no not again
Did I just barf?
I don’t understand
Intoxication
Intoxication
Intoxication
Intoxication
My head beats silly like a big bass drum
Hangovers suck—gimme some rum
It’s so hard in the middle of the week
Maybe some liquor is all I need
Oh no not again
Did I just barf?
I don’t understand
Intoxication
Intoxication
Intoxication
Intoxication




Original Lyrics - Infatuation - Rod Stewart

Early in the morning I can't sleep
I can't work and I can't eat
I've been drunk all day, can't concentrate
Maybe I'm making a big mistake
Caught me down like a killer shark
It's like a railroad running right through my heart
Jekyll and Hyde the way I behave
Feel like I'm running on an empty gauge
Oh no not again
It hurts so good
I don't understand
Infatuation
Infatuation
Infatuation
Infatuation
Heart beats silly like a big bass drum
Losing all equilibrium
It's so hard in the middle of the week
Maybe this woman's just all I need
Oh no not again
It hurts so good
I don't understand
Infatuation
Infatuation
Infatuation…

Book Drop Hero - Parody #2

"Book Drop Hero" 

To the tune of "Juke Box Hero" by Foreigner

Written by Sharon

Standing in the rain, with her head hung low

Couldn't get it open, it was a real no go

Heard the roar of the cars, she could picture the scene

Put her back to the wall, then let out a silent scream

She got out some books, just blew her away

She saw stars in her eyes, and the very next day

Got a beat up paperback like in a secondhand store

Didn't know how to play it, but she knew for sure

That one stupid book, felt good in her hands

Didn't take long, to understand

Just one old book, slung way down low

Was a one way ticket, only one way to go

So she started readin'

Ain't never gonna stop

Gotta keep on readin'

Someday she's gonna make it to the drop

And be a book drop hero, got stars in her eyes

She's a book drop hero

She took one old book, book drop hero, stars in her eyes

Book drop hero, she'll come alive tonight

In a town without a name, in a heavy downpour

Thought she passed her own shadow, by the bookdrop door

Like a trip through the past, to that day in the rain

And that one old book made her whole life change

Now she needs to keep readin'

She just can't stop

Gotta keep on readin'

That girl has got to stay on top

And be a book drop hero, got stars in her eyes

She's a book drop hero, got stars in her eyes

Yeah, book drop hero, got stars in her eyes

With that one old book she'll come alive

Come alive tonight

Yeah, she's gotta keep readin'

She just can't stop

Gotta keep on readin'

That girl has got to stay on top

And be a book drop hero, got stars in her eyes

She's a book drop hero, got stars in her eyes

Just one old book, put stars in her eyes

She's just a book drop hero, aah aah aah

Book drop hero, book drop hero, she's got stars in her eyes

Stars in her eyes

Original Lyrics - "Juke Box Hero" - Foreigner

Standing in the rain, with his head hung low
Couldn't get a ticket, it was a sold out show
Heard the roar of the crowd, he could picture the scene
Put his ear to the wall, then like a distant scream

 
He heard one guitar, just blew him away
He saw stars in his eyes, and the very next day
Bought a beat up six string in a secondhand store
Didn't know how to play it, but he knew for sure

 
That one guitar, felt good in his hands
Didn't take long, to understand
Just one guitar, slung way down low
Was one way ticket, only one way to go

 
So he started rockin'
Ain't never gonna stop
Gotta keep on rockin'
Someday he's gonna make it to the top

 
And be a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes
He's a juke box hero
He took one guitar, juke box hero, stars in his eyes
Juke box hero, he'll come alive tonight

 
In a town without a name, in a heavy downpour
Thought he passed his own shadow, by the backstage door
Like a trip through the past, to that day in the rain
And that one guitar made his whole life change

 
Now he needs to keep rockin'
He just can't stop
Gotta keep on rockin'
That boy has got to stay on top

 
And be a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes
He's a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes
Yeah, juke box hero, got stars in his eyes
With that one guitar he'll come alive
Come alive tonight

 
Yeah, he's gotta keep rockin'
He just can't stop
Gotta keep on rockin'
That boy has got to stay on top

 
And be a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes
He's a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes
Just one guitar, put stars in his eyes

He's just a juke box hero, aah aah aah
Juke box hero, juke box hero, he's got stars in his eyes
Stars in his eyes

Goodbye To Your Old Hold - Parody #1

Yay! Our first parody!

"Goodbye To Your Old Hold"

Sung to the tune of "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" by Elton John

Written by CK

When are you gonna come down

When are you going to land

You need to pick up your hold

You should listen to me, old man

You know we can’t hold it forever

You didn’t sign up for that

It’s not a present for you to never open

This book’s too young to be a doormat.

So goodbye to your old hold

Where the books of society dwell

You can’t expect it to wait there

It’s going back to the shelf

Back to the top shelf on the right

Next to the one on self-help

Oh it’s finally time for it to go

Beyond the blonde hold shelf

What did you think we’d do with it

Just let it sit and wait

It’d take you a couple of seconds to swing by

To check it out and head for the gate

Maybe you’ll get a replacement

There’s plenty like it to be found

But if you ain’t got a penny

You know we’ll always be around

So goodbye to your old hold

Where the books of society dwell

You can’t expect it to wait there

It’s going back to the shelf

Back to the top shelf on the right

Next to the one on self-help

Oh it’s finally time for it to go

Beyond the blonde hold shelf

Original Lyrics - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road - Elton John

When are you gonna come down

When are you going to land

I should have stayed on the farm

I should have listened to my old man

You know you can't hold me forever

I didn't sign up with you

I'm not a present for your friends to open

This boy's too young to be singing, the blues

So goodbye yellow brick road

Where the dogs of society howl

You can't plant me in your penthouse

I'm going back to my plough

Back to the howling old owl in the woods

Hunting the horny back toad

Oh I've finally decided my future lies

Beyond the yellow brick road

What do you think you'll do then

I bet that'll shoot down your plane

It'll take you a couple of vodka and tonics

To set you on your feet again

Maybe you'll get a replacement

There's plenty like me to be found

Mongrels who ain't got a penny

Sniffing for tidbits like you on the ground

So goodbye yellow brick road

Where the dogs of society howl

You can't plant me in your penthouse

I'm going back to my plough

Back to the howling old owl in the woods

Hunting the horny back toad

Oh I've finally decided my future lies

Beyond the yellow brick road

She's back...

via GIPHY

For those of you who are new:

Yes, I have a blog.

Yes, at one point in my life I felt it was necessary to post to it every night.

For like 3 years.

And a bit after that.

No, I do not do that anymore.

No, you do not need to worry about my sanity.

At this moment at least.

We have decided to use this as a place to post our parodies online.

By we I mean Tracy, Sharon and myself.

We go by many names:

TSK, TSK, TSK

The Trouble Trifecta

Rabble Rousers

LCL – Librarians Changing Lyrics

BMPL – Bibliophiles Making Parody Lyrics

And of course the Dewey Decimators

However, we’re still taking suggestions as to a permanent name so if you have any suggestions send them our way.

We shall be posting new parodies every Wednesday so if you like this one stay tuned.

For those of you who read the Staff Association Newsletter they will be featured there as well.

If you feel the need to read about my compulsory ramblings below feel free. There are some interesting library stories scattered throughout, although this post in particular houses many of them all in one: Post #1000: My Top Library Moments of All Time

If you feel like searching further I do warn you, you will be going down the rabbit hole…